Shattered Souls

by Mary Lindsey

  Smith was right. I didn’t have a clue how to get him out. And I was sure that I was a disappointment to Alden, whose breathing had become ragged. He was probably weakened by the blood loss. If I gave up, he could get some help. The tiny bit of control I’d gained slipped away, and I could no longer move.

  Now, that’s better. Tell him I’m gone. He’ll let you up, and we can end this. He’s too weak to stop you from jumping now. It will be quick and easy. Tell him it is over.

  “Alden,” I said. Speaking was almost impossible. I was too weak to finish. “So sorry.”

  Alden buried his face in my hair. “Don’t let him win, Lenzi. Stay at the surface and resist. He’s a demon. He’ll do anything to weaken you so he can succeed. Fight, so I can get him out.”

  Your Protector is dying. I am stronger than he is, and you know it. Tell him I am gone so he’ll let you up, and we can end this. Do it.

  Just ending it would be so easy. Being possessed felt like being boiled alive from the inside. If I jumped, my pain would end and Alden could get help. I’d recycle and we’d be together in the next lifetime. If I kept fighting, I might weaken Smith, but it might be too late for Alden.

  “Please, Lenzi. Don’t let him win. I need you. Fight back. You can do this.”

  Alden’s words echoed in my head. “I need you,” he had said. Did he?

  Do it now, or I’ll withdraw my offer and kill him too. He’s so weak, it wouldn’t even be sporting. Tell him to let you up. You don’t want to force me to shove your soul out. If I do, it’s over. If you want to be with him again, do as I say.

  I took a deep breath. It would only hurt for a second, and Alden would be safe.

  Alden shifted his weight and brushed my hair from my face. “Don’t leave me again. Stay with me. I love you, Lenzi.”

  No. I was not going to let this demon win. I was stronger. Alden loved me. I wouldn’t let Smith win.

  There was a tingling in my extremities as I regained some muscle control. I wasn’t the weak little girl Smith said I was. In my past lives, I had been Rose. I would fight Smith . . . for Alden.

  This time it was easier for me to speak—as if my new resolve had weakened Smith and he could no longer keep me down. The burning sensation had also lessened. “You have no control over me. You never have. We’re just soul-to-soul now, and without the opportunity to destroy the vessel, you have nothing. Begone.”

  Smith laughed, but it sounded forced. His voice was weaker in my head. You’ll have to do better than that.

  “So will you. You can’t stay in here much longer. It weakens you. Evil can’t win unless it’s allowed entrance. I deny you any power over me. You say my Protector is weak; well, his body may be injured, but his soul is far stronger than yours will ever be. And so is mine. Love is stronger than hate. Just give up this vendetta and move on. Let go, Smith. This is over.”

  I felt my own power returning as if an electric current were being increased in my body. I could move my arms and legs and no longer felt under Smith’s control. He was weakening. “You can never get what you want. My soul will continue to return because you can’t force me out. This vendetta is pointless.”

  A heartbroken pain struck my chest. Smith’s pain.

  I loved you . . . trusted you and you betrayed me. He stopped speaking for a moment and his anger flared. I’ll kill you in each of your successive lifetimes so that you never even have a chance at love. I’m going to kill you, and I’ll keep killing you until you stop coming back.

  “Then what?”

  He didn’t answer.

  “What will you do then? Aren’t you sick of this? I won’t give up. I’ll always come back because even though you can kill my body, I’ll never let you evict my soul. My reason for returning is a lot stronger than your reason to kill me. End this. End it now.”

  Never.

  His voice wasn’t as loud or sharp. He was losing power. I had to act now, while I had the upper hand. If Alden became so weak from blood loss he couldn’t dislodge his soul, or if he died, I didn’t stand a chance. Smith would force me out, and I’d never see Alden again in this lifetime or any other.

  “Now, Alden,” I whispered. “Get him out.”

  The pain was excruciating, but I couldn’t even muster enough energy to scream. I felt like my insides were fighting among themselves. Smith was no longer talking to me. He was yelling obscenities and threats at Alden. Every now and then, Smith would cry out as if he had received a physical blow. I focused entirely on keeping my soul in my body. If he forced me out, I’d die and wouldn’t recycle. I’d never see Alden again. “I won’t be evicted. I have too much to lose,” I chanted.

  The scorching sensation increased and Smith gave a series of unearthly howls. Just as I was certain I couldn’t keep my soul intact, the pain stopped. Smith wasn’t swearing. I could hear myself breathing. My heart pounding. When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by red pavement. Blood.

  I felt weighted down, as if buried alive. I couldn’t move with Alden on top of me.

  “Game well played, my love.” Smith’s voice came from somewhere behind me. He was out! I turned my head in the direction of his voice, but he wasn’t there. He laughed. His clipped voice seemed to bounce off the concrete. “Next time we meet, you’ll join me in Hell.”

  “Not if I can help it,” I shouted. Smith’s laughter faded into silence.

  I lay there for a moment and then it hit me. The blood was Alden’s. There was too much of it. Oh, God. I’d killed him.

  It took all the energy I had to turn over. Alden’s body rolled off me onto its back.

  This is what I’d most wanted to avoid. I’d thought that if I could distract Smith, Alden and Elizabeth would be spared. I was wrong. Elizabeth was safe, but I hadn’t been quick enough to save Alden.

  He hadn’t been responsible for my death in my last lifetime, but I was certainly responsible for his in this one.

  “Alden, no,” I cried. “I’m so sorry.”

  I ran my hand through his hair. This was my fault.

  You have no reason to apologize. You were amazing.

  “Oh, my gosh. You’re in my head. You’re not dead!”

  No. I’m not dead, but I might be soon if Maddi or Race doesn’t sew me up. Please call them to come get us. Tell them to call the IC for medical backup. I might need some blood. My phone is in the back pocket of my pants.

  I rolled his body enough to reach into his back pocket. Race’s number only rang once before he picked up.

  “Hey, man. Is it over?”

  “Race. It’s Lenzi. Alden’s hurt. Come quick.”

  “Where’s Smith?”

  “Gone.”

  “No way. You’re shittin’ me. You did it? Wow, you won!”

  As I looked at Alden’s unconscious body, it didn’t feel like I’d won anything. “Just hurry, Race. And bring help. He might need blood.”

  I heard the truck motor start on the other end of the line as Race answered. “Gotcha, sugar. I’ll be right there. Congratulations on your first exorcism, which just happened to be the IC’s most-wanted Malevolent. Way to go!”

  Congratulations? I brushed a strand of blood-soaked hair out of Alden’s face. I might have weakened Smith and forced him out, but he had weakened me too. My vulnerability was painfully clear. I loved this boy. Life with him, regardless of how weird or dangerous it was, was better than life without him. Maddi was right. It was time for me to get my act together.

  Race arrived within ten minutes. He stitched Alden’s neck right there in the parking lot. I didn’t want to watch, but Alden did, so I accommodated his wishes and allowed him to watch through my eyes.

  I was glad Alden decided to keep his soul in my body. His injuries looked painful. Mine, on the other hand, weren’t that bad. My self-inflicted bite was going to leave a giant bruise, but it didn’t need stitches.

  Race started the truck and drove out of the parking garage. “Maddi stayed at your house with Elizabeth, Alden. Poor little kid won’
t turn loose of Boo Bear, but doesn’t remember anything about the incident.”

  That’s a relief, Alden said from inside my head.

  I turned in the seat to angle more toward Race. “It would be a hard thing to explain to a four-year-old.”

  “It would be hard to explain to an adult,” Race said, flipping on his blinker. “Maddi told her that she hit her head on the pavement by the pool when she was playing with Spook. That cute little dog hasn’t left Elizabeth’s side either.” The light changed, and Race turned left, the opposite way from taking us home. “We kinda freaked out when your mom came home early from the hospital to work on some surgical dictations, Alden, but she bought the story, so we’re cool. I told her you and Lenzi were out on a date and Maddi had been babysitting.”

  “Some date,” I grumbled. “Where are we going?”

  “Maddi’s meeting us at a hotel. The medical team is already there. I told them you needed blood, Alden.” Race looked over his shoulder into the backseat of the truck at Alden’s body. “You look bad, man.”

  Guys in lab coats met us at the back loading dock of the hotel. They put Alden’s soulless body on a stretcher and took it up to the seventh floor on the service elevator. In no time, they had him hooked up to a machine with two bags dripping into tubes. One bag contained clear fluid, and a smaller bag contained blood. The IC medical guys talked to Alden through me as if two souls in one body were as normal as Houston rushhour traffic. Alden would be fine, they decided. They insisted he transfer his soul to his body so that they could see how much pain he was in before they administered a painkiller. Alden groaned as his soul rejoined his body. The guys in the lab coats nodded at one another and injected something into the tube of Alden’s IV.

  I called my mom and told her that I was with Alden and would be home late. She dished out the usual “it’s a school night” lecture, but sounded relieved. She said Zak had come by several times, and she had threatened to call the police because he was acting crazy.

  Zak. I needed to deal with him, but it was pretty low on my priority list right now.

  Race flipped on the TV, and we talked about the exorcism and watched sitcoms until the bell went off on the machine regulating the IV. Race pulled the needle out of the top of Alden’s hand and turned the machine off.

  “I brought you a change of clothes and the thing you wanted from your desk drawer,” Maddi said with a wink.

  Race helped Alden to his feet. “You’re lookin’ pretty rough there, buddy.”

  Alden gave a half smile. “I’m feeling pretty rough.”

  He then went with Alden to the bathroom and stayed with him while he showered the blood off and changed into the clean clothes that Maddi had brought.

  Alden seemed more himself when he lay back down on the bed.

  After writing something on the hotel stationery on the desk, Maddi placed it in my hand and pulled Race to the door.

  Race winked at me. “We’ll just leave you two alone now. I hate to see a good hotel room go to waste, especially when the IC’s paying for it.”

  Maddi shoved him out the door. “You are such a caveman.”

  I stared at the paper. On it was written one word: Wish. I placed the paper on my thigh and folded it in half.

  “What does it say, Lenzi?” Alden asked.

  “Nothing.” I made diagonal folds from all four corners that touched in the center.

  “Mmm. ‘Nothing’ was not what I felt when you read it.”

  The soul-reading thing was so irritating. I shrugged and folded it in half again, forming a triangle. “It’s no big deal, Alden. Just a joke between girls.”

  He sighed dramatically. “Ah, well. I’m sure Horace will tell me about it in great detail. Grisly, painstaking detail.” He reached for his phone.

  My fingers froze mid-fold. “Wait. Okay. You play dirty.” What could he make of one silly word anyway? I straightened out the paper and placed it in his hand.

  “Wish.” He raised an eyebrow. “What wish?”

  I pulled my fingers across my lips as if zipping them closed.

  He laughed, then winced. Poor Alden. It must have hurt a lot.

  IC guys called to let us know that they were on the way up to get the medical equipment.

  They were the same men who had been here earlier. One guy checked Alden’s vital signs while the other one packed the machine into a big suitcase. They warned him to take it easy because of the painkillers. Drive safely, blah, blah, blah.

  “How are we going to get home?” I asked after I closed the door.

  “Maddi drove my car over. I’ll be fine to drive in an hour or so. Do you need to go now? I can call Race to come get you.”

  I sat down next to him. “No. It’s still early.” My stomach rumbled. I was starving. Smith had interrupted lunch, and I hadn’t eaten dinner.

  Alden groaned as he stretched across the bed to reach the hotel phone. He dialed room service and ordered two steaks with baked potatoes. If the IC was picking up the tab, why not?

  I felt much better after I’d eaten, and Alden looked better. There was some color returning to his face. I let myself relax for the first time all day. Alden lay back on the bed and closed his eyes. The vaguest hint of a smile brushed his lips.

  It was hard to believe what had happened. I’d met with the IC representative, resolved Charlotte, and defeated Smith all in one day. That plus Georgia last night was worth more than one hundred points. Over five days’ worth in twenty-four hours. Maybe I wasn’t half bad at this after all.

  Alden brushed my arm with the back of his hand, leaving a trail of tingles that caused my heart to kick into high gear. “Maddi brought me something along with my clothes, Lenzi—something that belongs to you. I was waiting for the right moment to give it to you. This seems like a good time.” He shifted and pulled a tiny satin bag out of his front pocket and handed it to me.

  Something that belongs to me? I ran my fingers over the silky purple satin pulled tight with a drawstring. “What is it?”

  He rolled on his side to face me. “Open it and see.”

  The top pulled open easily. I tipped the bag over into my palm. It was the pendant I’d seen Rose wear in the memories. I turned it over in my hand. The medallion was carved from some black material. It was oval with an intricate rose carved in relief on the surface. Instead of a velvet ribbon, like in the memories, it was attached to a gold chain.

  Something about holding it made me feel a link to her.

  Alden smiled. My soul’s response must have pleased him. “I gave it to Rose in 1899, right after she emerged. It’s a Whitby jet pendant. Very popular in Victorian times. Rose loved it.”

  “I do too. Thanks. It’s beautiful.”

  “So are you, Lenzi. You were amazing today.”

  Chills ran through me. I’d almost lost him. I’d almost lost everything.

  “Here,” he said, gesturing for me to lean closer. He took the necklace from my trembling fingers and clasped it behind my neck. He smelled like soap, and his hair was still wet from his shower. “Congratulations on successfully battling Smith.”

  “Is he really gone?” I asked.

  He removed his hands from behind my neck. “Well, he’s gone for now.”

  “What does that mean?” My heart fell. I thought it was over.

  “He left of his own will—sort of like running chicken from a fight. He wasn’t weak enough for me to shove out, but honestly, I wasn’t at my best.”

  “So he’s still out there wanting me dead.”

  He laid his hand over mine. “You did a hell of a job. You wore him way down. Hanging on to you took a lot of his energy. He’ll be lying low for a very long time. You’re safe, Lenzi. You did it. You won this round.”

  For some reason, I didn’t feel the thrill I’d expect at oneupping my nemesis. Perhaps it was all my unanswered questions. While Alden was stuck here, maybe he’d answer some of them.

  “Why did Spook stop barking outside Izzy’s door?”
/>   He shifted higher on his pillow. “Because Smith was no longer there. He had transferred his energy to Izzy’s body.”

  “He had so much hate, Alden. I could feel it. He was in pain.”

  Alden closed his eyes. “He’s pursued this vendetta for over a century. Hate has a long memory. His pain is self-inflicted.”

  Smith was much harder to handle than the first Malevolent. He was relentless. If it hadn’t been for Alden, I’d have given up. He told me to keep fighting. He told me that he loved me. He asked me to stay with him—like it was more than just his job. Hate like Smith’s had a long memory, but maybe love’s memory was even longer. When I looked back down, he was staring at me.

  “What’s going on, Lenzi? Your soul is turbulent.”

  I fiddled with the black rose pendant. “Alden, when I was fighting Smith, you said things. . . .”

  He pushed up to where he was sitting against the headboard. “I meant them.”

  “You said that—”

  “I love you.” He took my hand. “I said I love you, Lenzi, yes. And I do.”

  “But if you love me, why can’t we—”

  He squeezed my hand. “We’ve been through this. I can’t run the risk of losing you. You’re too important to me.”

  “So who I am now and what I want doesn’t matter? Only what Rose wanted matters? Even if I do remember, it won’t make a difference.”

  “Somewhere deep down you remember—I just know it. I was surprised when you repeated Rose’s words from a century ago, but it verified what I’ve known all along: you might have no recollection of her, but it’s the same soul, and deep down inside, perhaps in a recess you can’t access consciously, you are Rose, only better.”

  My heart leapt. “Better?”

  He shifted in the bed to his side so that he faced me and placed his other hand on mine.

  “Yes, better. The gap in existence improved you somehow. Your emotions are genuine and real. You hold nothing back, and, well, you’re funny. I like it.”