by Erika Kelly
“If I sound like an asshole, it’s because this is new to me, and I’m just trying to figure it out. I’ve never felt anything like this with anyone but you. I know what it feels like to enjoy other people, I know what attraction feels like, but with you…it’s the wildest damn thing.”
“I know.” It came out a whisper. The charge between them got her blood pumping. “I feel it, too. Whatever chemistry we had in Vegas, it’s still here.”
He shook his head. “No. I know you now, and that makes it so much bigger. Powerful.”
God. This man. She wanted him so much.
“I want—”
She pressed her fingers to his lips and stopped him. “One more sexy thing out of your mouth, and I’m done for. Let me finish up, so I can get home for the babysitter. Because let me tell you something Beckett O’Neill, you’ve got heartbreaker written all over you.”
Chapter Eleven
“Mommy.”
The blood curdling scream sent Coco tearing out of the bathroom and trampling down the stairs, clinging to the banister so her damp feet didn’t fly out from under her. Hair dripping down her back, she called, “I’m right here, baby. Hold on. Almost there.” Racing across the living room, she burst into the kitchen to find her daughter standing on the back porch, the door swung wide open.
Her nightgown billowing around her from an early morning breeze, Posie whirled around, pointing out the door. “Beckett has a doggy. A doggy, Mommy. Beckett has a dog.”
Holy mother of God. Heart pounding in her ears, Coco nearly collapsed against the counter. “Peanut, you scared the living daylights out of me.”
“Can I go see him, Mommy? I want to go outside.”
Coco glanced out the door to find Beckett waving, while the dog did his business on her lawn. “You better—”
But before she could finish her sentence, he dangled a plastic bag from his fingers. One second later, the dog made a beeline toward the house, while Beckett headed to the garbage bins lined up against the fence.
Bounding onto the porch, the dog knocked Posie flat on her bottom. Coco waited for the tears…but they didn’t come. Instead, Posie’s arms went around the dog’s neck. Ollie nose-butted her, his tail whacking into the side of the house with a rhythmic drumbeat. Giggling, Posie tried to get up, but the dog straddled her, licking her like a melting ice cream cone.
“Ollie. Get off.” After Beckett gave the dog a gentle shove, he galloped into the kitchen, heading straight for Coco.
She crouched. “Hey, handsome.” She ran her hands through his fur, too aware of his ribs and hip bones. “I don’t have any food for you, but I can get you some water.”
“He ate.” Beckett closed the door and came up beside her. Together, they watched Posie pat the dog’s back frantically. “I think she likes him.”
“That’s what I’m worried about.” But she said it with a smile.
It’s totally unrealistic to think Beckett’s DNA will change, right? He won’t suddenly become a homebody?
Uh, no. That’s never going to happen. But maybe…just maybe Beckett would fall enough in love with his daughter to find a way to stay in her life in a meaningful way.
That doesn’t take her away from me. The clutch of fear gripped her so hard, it spurred her into action. “Sweetheart, go get dressed.” Turning away from him, she went to clear the breakfast dishes. “We’ve got scrambled eggs, if you’re hungry.” When he didn’t answer, she turned to find Beckett sitting on the floor, rubbing Ollie all over, and it about broke her heart to see the dog softly lapping at any area of the big man’s exposed skin. If it was possible for a dog to look overwhelmingly grateful, this one nailed it.
“You said you didn’t have a doggy, Beckett.” Posie stood beside him, leaning over and cupping his cheeks, so he’d pay attention to her. “Did you get one for me? Is this doggy for me?”
“No, sweetheart, that’s not our dog.” God, she hoped Posie understood that Ollie would be leaving at the end of summer. “He’s Beckett’s.”
Posie knelt, trying to hug the dog, but he was too busy squirming and vigorously wagging his tail.
“Remember I told you about my neighbor’s dog?” Beckett asked.
Posie nodded.
“Well, this is him. My neighbor can’t take care of him anymore, so she’s asked me to do it.”
“Why can’t she take care of him?”
Coco wanted to step in and answer for him. He might think he needed to be completely honest with her, but Posie didn’t need in-depth answers. She just needed something she could understand.
“Because she moved to a place where they don’t take dogs.” Beckett flicked his gaze over to her. Wrong answer?
Coco smiled. Really good, actually.
“I love him. I love him so much. Mommy, I’m not going to school today. I’m going to stay with the doggy.”
“Ollie will be here when you get back. He’s here with Beckett. Can you please go get ready?”
When Posie hesitated, Beckett said, “I’m taking him to the vet this afternoon, and doctor visits scare him. Do you think you could come with me? I think just having you there and loving him will make it easier for him. Will you come?”
Posie nodded solemnly. “I’ll help.”
“Cool. Thanks.”
“Now, go upstairs and get dressed,” Coco said.
Posie, for once, did as asked and tore out of the room. “Come on, Ollie. Let’s go.”
The dog took off after her, nearly wiping out as he made the hard corner out of the kitchen.
“I’ll get him groomed when I’m there.” Beckett got up and washed his hands at the sink. Pulling a fork out of the drawer, he dug right into the skillet. “I probably should’ve asked you first if she could come with me. I know you’ve got a schedule to keep.”
“We do, but I like that you made Posie feel important. That was really sweet. You sure you don’t have any other kids tucked away at random homes across the globe? Because you’re pretty good at this parenting thing.” Of course, he’d been six years older than his sister, so he’d probably had some practice.
“Ha. Nope.” He brought the skillet to the sink and filled it with water, leaning close to her. “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable last night. I want to stay here. I want to spend as much time with Posie as possible. I don’t want you worrying about me trying to hook up with you. I know why I’m here.”
“I don’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved.” She gazed up at him, her grin fading when the attraction burned between them. She loved the way he looked at her—that stark yearning and need. The answering cry clenched every muscle in her body. It would be so easy to lean in, to wrap her arms around his neck and tip her chin so their mouths could meet. Desire flowed sweet and hot through her. She wanted him. Oh, God, did she want him.
The trampling of dog and little girl feet upstairs broke the tension. She reached across him to dump Posie’s uneaten eggs into the disposal, and he stepped aside. “Who am I kidding? I’m definitely more disappointed than relieved. You get me all riled up, Beckett O’Neill. And now I’m going to stop talking. You don’t need to hear my ramblings.”
His big hands came down on her shoulders. God, the way he looked at her made her heart pound, her blood race.
“I want to hear everything you have to say. So, just keep talking to me, okay?”
She turned to face him. “I really like you, you know that, right?”
“I really like you, too.” Even though he kept his hands at his sides, she could feel his gaze caress her cheeks, his thumb stroke her chin. He didn’t move an inch closer, yet she could’ve sworn she felt the warm waft of his breath over her lips.
Yearning rose her from deep within, and those icy blue eyes went flame hot. “I never thought I’d see you again,” she said. “I’d resigned myself to the fact that Posie would never have a father.” She gave an embarrassed grin. “I’ve got a whole speech prepared for when she asks, and I have to explain that her m
om’s a ‘ho who got knocked up one night in Vegas.”
Finally, he touched her. The moment his fingertips brushed across her cheek, she sagged with relief. “Instead, maybe we could tell her that we got lost, but then we found each other again. That I’m so damn sorry I missed her first steps but can’t wait to watch all the ones she takes for the rest of our lives together.”
Her whole body tingled, and her breasts felt heavy. “That’s a much better story.”
His thumb drifted across her mouth, making her tremble from deep within.
“I’ve never felt anything like this.” He sounded awed. “It scares the shit out of me, because it’s more than I ever wanted, and I know if I stay here much longer it’s going to become something I can’t live without.”
Her brain ordered her feet to move, to finish cleaning the kitchen and get away from this man who was more dangerous to her than anyone she’d ever known. But the magnetic attraction bound them together. “What exactly is ‘this?’” Her voice came out a whisper.
“I don’t fucking know.”
Water ran through the pipes, so Coco didn’t worry about his language. Posie was brushing her teeth.
“That night in Vegas, I remember skimming over all those nameless faces. It was no different from any other club I’d been in. It felt flat. I felt flat.” He shrugged. “And then I saw you, and it was…”
“Electric.”
“Yes. Ripped right down my spine.” His thumb stroked gently, languidly.
Her body trembled at the sensation, recalling the same rhythm his tongue had used on her clit, taking his time to bring her to a climax. It had been maddening, but she’d never come that hard in her life. She fantasized about it to this day—the way he didn’t rush her to get his own needs met.
“I don’t know how to explain it, except to say that, on some level I couldn’t understand, I recognized you. And when we talked…it wasn’t like the typical getting to know you shit. We dove right in, like we did already know each other.”
She nodded. It’d been exactly like that.
“It’s still there, that crazy connection. Only…”
Deeper…richer.
“…so much more intense.” His fingers sifted through the hair at her temple, gliding until he cupped the back of her neck.
Every cell in her body blossomed, opened, as if she were a flower and he were the sun. It was as thrilling as it was terrifying.
I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything…but the moment he dumps his dog and his duffle bag in his truck and drives away, he’s going to leave a gigantic hole in me.
She could tell from his expression that he saw her fear, because he dialed it down. “It’s okay. I get it. Everything’s changed, and we have something really fucking important to focus on here. But I like you, Coco Cavanaugh, and every minute I spend with you, I like you more.” He leaned in close, giving her a scorching look. “Just so it’s clear, I want what we had in Vegas. So, if you decide you want it, too…” His nose brushed across her cheek, and he whispered in her ear, “It’s your move.”
And that was it. Clasping his neck, she brought his mouth to hers and kissed him. That first touch of their tongues hit like a bolt of lightning, practically lifting her off the ground. Her other hand slid into all that silky dark blond hair, and when he wrapped an arm around her back and hauled her to him, her fingers fisted in it.
The kiss turned hot, hungry…carnal. Her toes curled, as she toppled into the rush of desire and lust coursing through her. The desperate, yearning sounds she made in the back of her throat must’ve done something to him because he turned the kiss even hotter. His palms opened, sliding down her back to grab her ass. When he squeezed, her knees buckled.
Nails clacked down the stairs, and Posie shrieked, “Wait for me, Ollie. Wait.”
Tearing out of his hold, she dragged the back of her hand across her mouth, her body vibrating with need.
The dog came bounding into the kitchen wearing a hot pink boa around his neck and scrunchies around each leg. “Posie.” Her burst of laughter snapped the sexual tension.
Beckett, though…seemed to be having a hard time getting himself under control.
And it was, frankly, one of the most exhilarating moments of her life.
Posie came in with her glittery silver shoes and fairy dress. “Ready, Mommy.”
“Are you sure?” Beckett tore his gaze away and looked Posie over carefully. “I feel like something’s missing. Oh, I know.” He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a slim package.
Posie took it, flipping it over. “What is this?” Ripping it open, she pulled out two pink and purple sparkly bracelets with long tails of ribbons. Her eyes went wide. “You got this for me?”
“I did.”
“I love them. I love them so much.” She pinched her fingers together to get her hand through one of the elastic bands. “Look, Mommy. Look what I got.”
Coco moved closer to help put the bracelets on, but Posie pulled away. “No, Beckett.” She handed both bands over to him and held out her wrists.
There was no hiding how touched he was that she wanted him to do it. Stretching one, he slid it on. She immediately went spinning and running around the kitchen, the ribbons fluttering. Ollie barked, his jaw snapping as he tried to nip them.
Posie came back, her eyes shining with joy. “Now, the other one.”
He slid on that one, and then stood back, grinning as she danced around the kitchen.
“These are so pretty. Mommy, aren’t they pretty?”
“They are.”
“I love them.” She threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his legs and hugging him. “Thank you, Beckett.”
The unexpected contact made him freeze.
He just stood there, while Posie grinned, holding onto him like a life raft.
Hug her.
So help me God, if you hurt my little girl…
But then, he dropped to a crouch and placed his hands on her shoulders. “You like them?”
She’d never seen him so vulnerable as that moment, eye-to-eye with a five-year-old.
“I love them.” She spun in a circle, before gazing up at him. “You’re nice.”
“Well, thanks.” He stood. “You’re nice, too.”
She whisked away from him, dancing around the room and watching her ribbons flutter. “Can Ollie take me to school?”
“Well, that depends on Beckett’s schedule.” Coco looked to him. “When do you start coaching?”
“I’ll start tomorrow, but it won’t matter, because I’ll be going to school with you every day while I’m in town.”
And with one simple sentence, he snuffed out all her warm, lovely feelings.
While I’m in town.
She needed to type up a banner and print it out.
Enjoy your time with him…while he’s in town.
Coco reached back to unbuckle Posie’s seatbelt. “Have a good day, my lovely. Remember that Grandma’s picking you up today.”
“Okay, Mommy.” Posie dropped down and climbed onto the console. Hanging onto the armrests, she leaned over and kissed Beckett’s cheek. “Thank you. I love my fairy bracelets.”
He looked dazzled. “You’re welcome.”
Even after she dashed out of the car and skipped up the walkway, Beckett remained unmoving, as though afraid the kiss would drift away. As she neared her group of friends, Posie turned back to them with a big grin and waved.
“You made her day.” Coco checked her mirrors before easing away from the curb.
“Pretty sure she made mine.” He lifted his hand to his cheek, in what seemed like an unconscious move. “What’s with the whole fairy thing?”
“Ethan, my ex, bought her a costume for Halloween. It came with a book about a little girl who believed she was a fairy. Everyone told her she was wrong. She couldn’t be one, because fairies aren’t real, but the girl never stopped believing. And then, one day, she sprouted wings. Posie’s been waitin
g to sprout wings ever since.”
“That’s a terrible book.”
“I know, right? But, for some reason, that’s the one that captured her imagination. She asked me to read it to her every night for months.”
“I’m all about working hard to turn your dreams into reality, but they have to be humanly possible. What kind of message is that?”
“I’m actually more concerned with the other message he sent. You know, when he left us and never looked back.”
“She doesn’t mention him.”
“You’re right. She doesn’t.” But that didn’t mean she’d come out unscathed. “I’m afraid of what she’s internalized, and I won’t know how she’s interpreted him leaving until one day, out of the blue, in some random conversation, she’ll say something. And, believe me, it’s scary, the stories kids invent to make sense of their worlds.”
“Did he live with you?”
“Oh, no. Nothing like that. But since I spend so much time with Posie, he was around her a lot.” At the stop sign, she turned to him. “Don’t get me wrong. I don’t fault him for leaving. He got a great job. He was only twenty-five, and he wasn’t ready for marriage and kids. And I wasn’t about to uproot our lives for some guy I was casually dating, so I’m not angry with him. I’m angry at myself for not protecting Posie better.”
“I’m not sure how much you can protect her from relationships, though. I had this coach once who said his job wasn’t to change the world so that I could fit into it better, but for him to give me the skills to live in it. That stuck with me.”
That was actually a really good way to look at parenting. “I like that.”
“Of course, I’m talking out my ass right now. What do I know about kids?”
“You’re doing a good job with yours.”
When she looked over at him, she found her words had landed on a bruise. “I’m glad. I need to hear that.”
“I know. That’s why I keep telling you.”
His features tightened. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”
“Hey, we’re doing this together, remember?”
Holding her gaze with affection and warmth, he looked relieved. But then his phone buzzed, and he read the screen. “Excellent.” He glanced over at her. “You think you could drop me off at Good Times Outfitters?”