The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus 3

by Michael Anderle

  I don’t have time for your bullshit, assholes.

  Kathy nodded toward the double doors. “I get that you think I’m a roach, but the Eyes personally called me here. Trust me, I wouldn’t be here if I had another choice.”

  One of the elves smirked and nodded. He pulled open the doors and gestured her inside. Unlike the last time she’d visited, there were no light sources in the room. The dim light from the hallway illuminated the front half, revealing scored and bloodstained tile on the floor.

  “Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Kathy muttered. She sighed and clutched her purse tighter. Her gun might help, although she didn’t have anti-magic bullets, so she doubted it. If the Eyes were that easy to kill, someone would have taken him out a long time ago.

  She stepped inside and the elf closed the doors behind her, plunging her into complete darkness. There wasn’t even any light coming from beneath the door. Her heart beat harder, and she took a few deep breaths.

  It wasn’t the dark that was frightening; it was what might be hiding in it. Maybe twenty years ago people could lie and say no monsters lurked in the shadows, but the return of magic had changed that forever.

  “Okay, you summoned me, oh Great Lord of Information,” Kathy offered, her tone infused with all the defiant sarcasm she could muster despite her pounding heart. “And I’ve come to give you the answer I owe you. Just let me know how I can do that.”

  The air around her turned frigid. She rubbed her shoulders to warm them and blew out a breath, her expelled breath visible as a fine mist.

  “So strong of will,” the Eyes whispered into her ear from behind her. “I’ve done experiments with so many strong-willed humans. The results are always interesting. Everyone breaks in the end, you know. Your species is weak. That’s why you scurry around, so desperate to accomplish something in your short, pathetic lives.”

  Kathy’s teeth chattered. The cold sensation she’d encountered before when dealing with the Eyes had been nowhere near as intense as her current experience.

  “If you want an answer about what I think about humans compared to every random race on Oriceran, I don’t know what to tell you,” she replied. “I don’t even know all the races on Oriceran. Elves and gnomes are weird enough for me to wrap my mind around, let alone things like you. If you want me to admit you could break me, then fine—I admit that. I’m not a soldier or a bounty hunter, and I agree, humans don’t live a long time. It’s not like you’re saying anything humans haven’t been saying for all of our history.”

  Fucking asshole. You hide here, but someday you’re going to push the wrong person, and they’ll end you.

  Yellow eyes glowed on the opposite side of the room.

  “Bounty hunter?” rasped the Eyes, something approaching annoyance in his voice. “Why did you choose that as an example of bravery and strength of will? They are parasites, in a sense. Loyal to no one and nothing but money.”

  “Maybe.” Kathy shrugged. “It takes a lot of balls to go after dangerous criminals, and I don’t know him well, but it’s hard to think of someone more impressive than James Brownstone.” She smiled, a little confidence filtering back into her. “I get that he uses artifacts, but he’s still human. I wonder if you could break him so eas—”

  The yellow eyes disappeared, and darkness retook the room. A deep, penetrating cold attacked her wrist, agony shooting through her arm. She fell to her knees and screamed. A few seconds later, the pain stopped.

  Kathy panted and ran her fingers over her wrist. She didn’t feel anything wrong. Her skin was cold, but there was no sign of frostbite and no further pain.

  What the fuck was that? Is he getting into my head?

  “Brownstone is just a man,” wheezed the Eyes, seemingly from all around Kathy. “A man who has let his arrogance blind him to his natural limits. I was content to leave him be as he did me, but he has gone too far. He has forgotten his place.”

  “Meaning what?” Kathy replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “You think you’re going to take on James Brownstone?” She shook her head. “Do you ever watch the news? You might be tough, but he’s tougher.”

  “Enough. It’s time for your answer, Kathy.” The Eyes laughed, the sound mocking and containing not a hint of actual mirth. “You’ll repay your debt by answering a simple question: do you value your life more than others?”

  Kathy scrambled to her feet. “I…of course I do. I’m a survivor. It’s why I left New York. It’s why I’m still breathing.”

  “Your lies are transparent, little girl, and I see right through you. You’ll leave this place. In your car, you’ll find a small golden orb. You will take this orb and place it in James Brownstone’s house within the next forty-eight hours, or you will die painfully and slowly as part of my next experiment.”

  “I…you…” Kathy sputtered. Her breaths turned ragged as her heart threatened to explode out of her chest.

  “What?” the Eyes rasped. “You want to say, ‘I can’t do this?’ or ‘I won’t do this?’ But you already answered me, Kathy. You value your life more than others, and it’s not as if you owe anything to James Brownstone. He gave you some money and a little pat on the head because you helped him. Nothing more. You will help me, and then you will be free from me.”

  Somehow I doubt that, freak.

  Kathy looked down, unsure what to say.

  I’ll just stall. He’s talking about Brownstone being arrogant, but the Eyes is ridiculous. If Brownstone doesn’t come back soon, I can just go to the police. Even if I die, they can probably get some wizard to prove that the spell came from the Eyes. At least the bastard will go down.

  Kathy lifted her head, a defiant glare on her face although she wasn’t sure if he could tell in the darkness.

  “I know what you’re thinking, little girl,” the Eyes murmured. “You’re thinking you’ll tell Brownstone or the police and watch as the AET raid my club. Laugh at my presumption. Go ahead and try to tell someone. The pain you felt before was a powerful curse. You won’t be able to tell anyone what I’ve asked you to do. If you do tell them, you will die.” He chuckled. “And this way I’ll learn if your answer matches your actions. Another interesting experiment. Humans are pathetic but interesting.”

  Damn it. He isn’t as arrogant as I needed. I’m so screwed. Okay, calm down. Need to think this through. All puzzles can be solved. First step is just getting the information I need.

  “What’s the orb do?” Kathy asked.

  “You don’t need to know. Just know you have forty-eight hours to place it in Brownstone’s home. Not on, in. Now leave, and don’t you dare come back until you’ve placed the orb. I’ll know if you fail me.”

  The doors squeaked open, and light poured into the room. Kathy backed out slowly, blinking, and bile rose in the back of her throat.

  The elves closed the door behind her, hateful smirks on their faces.

  Fuck you, assholes. One day your boss is going to experiment on you, I bet, and then you’ll be sorry.

  Kathy stumbled down the hall to the front door. She blinked and stopped as she realized that something was peeking out from under her sleeve on the arm where she’d felt the pain.

  She rolled back her sleeve. An intricate series of rounded glyphs marked her arm. Each was a different color, but they didn’t move or glow. If she’d woken up in the middle of the night and seen them, she’d think they were nothing more than tattoos.

  “Oh, shit,” she whispered.

  An hour later, Kathy knocked on a nondescript door on the second floor of a run-down apartment building in Elf Town.

  “Come on,” she whispered. “You have to be here. I don’t have time for you not to be here.”

  Kathy pulled her phone out of her pocket and stared down at the timer she’d set. She hadn’t even bothered telling Tyler anything after leaving the Eyes’ place other than she was taking the next couple of days off. Fortunately, he hadn’t pressed her for a reason, but he, more than anyone else she k
new, understood what it was like dealing with the yellow-eyed bastard.

  She knocked on the door again and took a deep breath.

  Will this trigger the curse? A lot of the crap I’ve read said those things are usually specific. Damn it. I can’t do nothing. There’s no guarantee the Eyes won’t kill me even if I deliver the damned orb.

  The door swung open to reveal an amused-looking elf in dark blue silk pajamas. “Can I help you?” He looked her up and down. “Tyler didn’t contact me about you coming over.”

  “Yeah, sorry to bother you, Dannec, but I’ll offer you ten thousand dollars right now, no questions, no explanations, if you’ll check me for magic,” Kathy spat. “This has nothing to do with Tyler.”

  The elf raised an eyebrow and clucked his tongue. “Desperation is a horrible thing to bring to any business transaction. Tyler understands this, but you obviously still need to learn.”

  Kathy shrugged, keeping her face nonchalant even as her heart thundered. “You want the money or not? I don’t have a lot of time to fuck around tonight.”

  “Easy money isn’t something I turn away.” Dannec gestured inside. “Payment up front.” He held up his hand, and an account address appeared in glowing green letters above his palm. “Send this amount in TrollCoin to that address.”

  The woman nodded and entered his apartment. She pulled out her phone and initiated the transfer. She was used to paying for illicit deals with different cryptocurrencies.

  The elf’s phone buzzed from his coffee table, and he smiled.

  Kathy blinked as she finally took in the apartment. Two huge tables filled the living room. Several massive bones, each easily over six feet long, sat on the tables.

  “What the hell are…” She shook her head. “Know what? Never mind. Sometimes it’s best not to know.”

  Dannec grinned. “Now you’re learning.” He rubbed his hands together. “So, you want to know what magic is on you, hmm? I should tell you for the future that there are far cheaper ways to go about finding that sort of thing out, but I’ll enjoy your money.”

  “Sometimes convenience is worth the premium.” Kathy shrugged.

  “Care to tell me why you want to know?”

  “No.” Kathy shook her head. “Not at all.”

  Dannec nodded. “Fair enough, and not strictly necessary. To be clear, the money you paid only covers me examining you. If I find something unpleasant, which I’m guessing I will, it’ll cost you a lot more to get rid of it, and I offer no guarantees that I’ll even be able to do that.”

  “That’s my problem. “

  “Also true. I applaud your clear thinking on this matter.” Dannec chuckled.

  The elf raised his hands and half-closed his eyes. He murmured, but a clear and sharp melody filled the air as a glow surrounded his hands. After a moment, he lowered his hands.

  He clucked his tongue. “Kathy, what did you do to end up with that powerful of a curse on you? Not to be rude, but you’re simply not important enough to warrant the kind of magic that’s been expended on you. And before you ask, neither is Tyler.”

  Kathy shrugged and let out a pained snort. “What can I say? Somedays are just kind of crappy. Can you remove it?”

  Dannec burst out laughing, and her heart sank.

  He shook his head. “Even if I were an expert on bizarre and powerful curses, which I’m not, trying to remove it would probably kill us both, but I’m always willing to make money. I can look into it and ask around for a price, but unfortunately, because of the nature of the magic, I’ll have to charge you a premium. It’s extremely dark and dangerous, the kind of thing that might attract the wrong sort of attention from both Oriceran and Earth authorities if they think I’m dabbling in it. Besides, I suspect it’d take a team of magic users to remove that curse from you, or someone of extraordinary power.”

  What the hell? Just what is the Eyes?

  Kathy sighed and shook her head. “Don’t bother. The problem’s going to be solved one way or another soon enough, and I’d rather keep my money in case I somehow win my gamble.”

  “Your gamble?”

  She shook her head. “Don’t ask. I’m not going to say anything more.”

  “Fair enough, but you’re sure?”

  Kathy nodded. “Yes. I’ve got decisions to make soon.”

  Dannec furrowed his brow. “You obviously came knowing there was magic on you, so I don’t understand why you don’t want me to look into it for you. Why did you come here, then?”

  Kathy stepped out the front door and looked over her shoulder. “Because I needed to make sure before I did something very stupid that someone wasn’t bluffing. Thanks, Dannec. I appreciate it. Buy something cool with my money.”

  “If you change your mind, give me a call.” Dannec offered her a slight smile. “And welcome to the world of dangerous magic.”

  Kathy waved and headed toward the stairs. The visit might have been expensive, but it hadn’t been pointless. She now knew the curse was real, and more importantly, she knew the curse wasn’t all-encompassing. Asking Dannec to check her out hadn’t killed her.

  You left me a hole, Eyes. Now this is just another puzzle for me to solve, except this time it’s my life on the line. Great motivation.

  Kathy snorted. “I’m not going to lose to some freak. I’ll show him that humans are more resourceful than he thinks.”

  13

  James and Shay half-expected more mercenaries to pop out when they approached the ruins, but no one else showed up. No snipers fired from the trees as they closed on the entrance.

  A partially-collapsed archway led into a sloping stone tunnel in the ground. Piles of rock and overgrown weeds covered half the entrance.

  Shay crouched nearby and pointed to a boot print. “So they did go inside. I’m guessing a dozen guys, maybe two dozen near the top range, based on the vehicles and the guys we already killed.”

  James shrugged. “Don’t really give a shit. If they don’t have better weapons, we’ll beat their asses easily.”

  “I agree.” Shay stood, a slight frown on her face. “I’m wondering if this is some merc company that decided to try their hand at tomb raiding. Too damned sloppy for pro tomb raiders. Even Hollingsworth would be smarter than this.”

  “That’s a good thing. Means they’ll be less annoying.”

  Shay nodded. “Maybe. I’m worried about idiots waking something up.”

  Whispy perked up at that.

  Engage stronger unknown enemies for maximum adaptation.

  James furrowed his brow. “Might be fun.”

  “You know what, you’re right!” Shay laughed. “You see? We can have a good time on his-and-hers ass-kicking trips. Just have to keep it warm.”

  She lowered her AR goggles and tapped the side. “Going to stick with normal vision mode for now. Hard to use low-light mode when I’m glowing anyway.” She strapped on a headlamp and a wrist light.

  “Sounds good.” James followed her lead.

  Shay patted her rifle and smiled as she stepped toward the entrance. “If there are a bunch of assholes in there, they might save us some time by taking care of traps and any weird creatures lying around.”

  She stepped into the cave, the soft glow of her shield aura combined with her lights to push back the darkness.

  Although the ceiling had collapsed in several places, depositing mounds of dirt and stone, the rectangular tunnel extended down at a shallow angle for dozens of yards before angling to the side. They proceeded down it.

  After a couple of minutes of walking, Shay chuckled.

  “What?” James asked. “See someone?”

  “No, not yet. I was laughing about something else. You ever think about how we met?”

  He shrugged. “Through the Professor. What about it?”

  “That first job in Peru.” Shay smiled. “I was looking for that artifact, and you were there to help handle the Red Warlocks. I thought you were a lot of talk at first. I even hated that you were coming, but
then you took those guys out like they were grade-schoolers.”

  James grunted. “They got cocky. It cost them.”

  Shay laughed. “It impressed me, and at that time not a lot was impressing me. For a while, though, I didn’t want to work with you even when the Professor suggested it. I got pissed at the mere mention of it.”

  He frowned and looked her way. “Why? Back then I was only interested in bounties, not taking a cut of your artifact money.”

  “I didn’t like the idea of having to depend on you.” Shay shrugged. “I was still figuring out what it meant to be a tomb raider. It wasn’t just you. I didn’t want to depend on anyone. It took me a while to start trusting Peyton, and I had something to hold over his head, at least. You, though…”

  James chuckled. “Yeah, I get taking a long time to learn to depend on others.”

  “And I was annoyed that you weren’t coming onto me, too.”

  He groaned. “Not that shit again.”

  Shay smirked. “I figured it out eventually, and you’re one to talk. You thought I was a stripper or some shit.”

  James shrugged. “Mistakes happen.”

  Whispy remained quiet in James’ mind, his only contribution a vague projection of anticipation.

  You’re as bad as Thomas when I get his leash, James thought at the amulet.

  Shay stopped and threw up a hand. James pulled his gun and she unslung her rifle and crept forward, her brow furrowed.

  Someone lay unmoving behind a pile of collapsed stone from the ceiling. The pair approached, their weapons trained on the target, but whoever it was didn’t move or even twitch.

  Shay tapped the side of her goggles a few times. “Oh, that explains it.” She tapped her goggles again and jogged toward the person. James frowned and followed.

  A man in a khaki uniform lay on the ground, impaled through the neck by a dark-blue crystal. His eyes were open, and a rifle rested between his legs.

  James stared down at the man’s chest. “What the fuck is that crystal? Some sort of monster?”

  Shay shook her head and pointed toward the wall and a small diamond-shaped hole. “Trap, I’m thinking. Though might be partially magical because of the crystal.” She shrugged and stood. “A merc took a hit for us, just like I was hoping, but we can’t get complacent. Once they lost a guy or two to the traps, I’m sure they started being more careful.”