The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus 3

by Michael Anderle

  The loud roar of a railgun sent the birds flying away from the trees. A round exploded in a nearby trunk, launching a cloud of wooden shards and dust into the air. Rifle fire from other men joined the railguns.

  A bullet passed through her shields, slowed but not stopped, and skimmed her shoulder.

  Shay hissed in pain but didn’t stop her erratic movements among the trees. “Shit. Anti-magic rounds.”

  James looked her way, frowning deeply. “You okay?”

  “Just a scratch, but I’m going to have to play this smart. I don’t have a vest as backup. I need magical armor, not just shields.” Shay forced a grin.

  Another few railgun rounds blew through another tree. With a creak, the remains of the trunk snapped under the weight of the rest of the tree, bringing the entire thing down in a shower of dirt, sand, and wood.

  “We’ve got to at least make them earn it.” Shay raised her own gun, anti-magic bullets already loaded, and fired off a few rounds.

  James slapped in an anti-magic magazine and joined her.

  One of the parasailing men took a round between the eyes, and his head lolled forward. Fortune allowed one of Shay’s 9mm rounds to sever one of the lines from the harness to another man’s parasail. The other line tore a moment later, and the man plummeted toward the ground, screaming.

  Shay and James reached the beach and ducked behind the tree trunks. The surviving enemies, ten in all, released their parasails several yards above the sand, their exoskeletons landing with mighty thuds.

  The enemy fired James’ and Shay’s way, keeping them pinned.

  James growled. “I’ll just go out and take their fire.”

  Shay fired off a few rounds before slapping in another anti-magic magazine. She only had a few. “They might be able to crack your skull or something if you’re not at least in advanced. How are we doing on pissing off James Brownstone?”

  “I’m more annoyed than pissed.” James gave her an apologetic shrug.

  We’re the only couple who could get jumped by men in exoskeletons and consider it a mild annoyance.

  “It’s good to be in control.” Shay grabbed another crystal out of her pocket. “I’ve got one more little battery artifact.” She tossed it to him, staying behind a tree trunk.

  A railgun round struck the sand nearby, blasting the coarse substance all over them.

  “Shit,” Shay muttered. “It’s going to be annoying to travel with that up my ass. They don’t seem to have any super-guns, so if you can close on them, this should be easy-kill time.”

  James placed the crystal against his chest as he once again activated advanced mode. This time it was more traditional, lacking a helmet but having a blade.

  “I’ll lay down some cover fi—” Shay began, her gun up and her back to the tree.

  An explosion blinded Shay and knocked her backward. The tree she’d been using as cover collapsed to the ground with a loud crash. She rolled through the undergrowth groaning and shaking her head. She was a little singed, but her defensive artifacts had kept her from serious harm.

  “I’m okay,” she muttered, shaking her head.

  James’ answer was a bone-rattling roar.

  Shay snapped her head up and looked at him. He’d shifted into extended advanced mode and now stood there as the men pelted him with bullets and railgun rounds. The latter forced him back a few steps and dented his armor, but it wasn’t annihilating him like it was the trees.

  Should I make it clear I’m okay? That must have been what set him off…

  James bent his knees and leapt into the air, his armored form hurtling toward the enemy.

  With the enemy focused on shooting the approaching Vax, Shay had a chance to see the weapon that had been used against her: a hexagonal copper tube covered with intricate patterns. It spat a green-red ball of flame at James and enveloped him in a massive explosion.

  What the hell is that? Shay thought. The Roman Candle of Infinite Death or some shit?

  James dropped through it, showing only minor scratches and charring on his armor. He landed behind one of the railgun troops and stabbed through the back of the armored exoskeleton into the man’s chest. He lifted the body, using it as a shield as he grabbed the trigger of the gun and fired a round at point-blank range into another man with a railgun.

  He’s not doing this mindlessly. He might have been pissed enough to be charged up, but he’s still being very strategic.

  Shay shook her head and looked around for her gun, which she’d lost in the explosion. No reason to let James have all the fun.

  He tossed the now-bullet-riddled body and exoskeleton to the ground as he rounded on the man with the Roman Candle of Infinite Death.

  One of the enemies yanked a thin silver sword off a side hook on the exoskeleton and swung it at James. He caught the blow with his arm, and the sword sank into the armor.

  The excited man thought he had gained an advantage. He pulled the blade back and thrust it forward, but this time it bounced off with only a mild gouge. James demonstrated the superior utility of his own blade by slicing the man’s arm off and stabbing him through the heart.

  Shay found her gun and aimed at the head of one of the distracted assassins. With his helmet and armor, she had a small window for a kill. One shot was all it took, and blood exploded from the side of his head. She’d finished off another man before they realized she was still in the fight.

  James cut down man after man, and soon only one assassin remained. He screamed in defiance as he emptied his rifle into his opponent, the bullets accomplishing nothing.

  Huh, Shay thought. I wonder if these guys were mercs Fortis hired rather than Fortis agents. It looks like they thought they could win with enough anti-magic defenses.

  James pointed his blade at the other man, who slowly backed up. The assassin pulled out a pistol and started firing. James charged his energy beam and seared the man’s head off.

  “Damn,” Shay muttered. “That’ll do it.” She reloaded her gun with conventional rounds before jogging onto the blood-soaked beach.

  James kicked at one of the bodies, then stabbed it a few times before turning to maul another, still growling.

  I thought he was more in control than that.

  Shay’s stomach twisted. She’d seen him go berserk before, but it never got any easier. Although she never felt unsafe around him when he was like that, she didn’t like the idea that he’d lost control, and that maybe Whispy Doom would finally take his chance and take command of their partnership.

  “It’s over!” Shay shouted. “We’re alive, and they’re dead.”

  James swiveled his head her way and stared at her for a moment before his helmet retracted. He took a deep breath. “You’re okay?”

  “Yeah. I’m okay. One sec; let me try something. Peyton, can you hear me?”

  “You’re weak, but I can hear you,” the hacker responded.

  Shay let out a sigh of relief. “I was worried that those assholes were still jamming all the frequencies. I didn’t like the idea of having to swim back to the mainland.”

  The armor began retracting on James as he surveyed the bodies. “I’ll give Daniel and his friends credit. They must be running enough interference to keep some of the heat off us. I don’t think these guys are Fortis.”

  “I agree,” Shay replied. “But this shit isn’t over until we get the map to the Professor.”

  “If some fucker tries to hijack my plane,” James growled, “I will throw him out of it.”

  “I don’t doubt that for a second.” Shay grabbed her satellite phone and winced. Part of the casing was melted and there were scorch marks all over it, but when she pressed a button, it came on. “Good, it’s still working. That’s easier than having Peyton call. Let me call our ride, then it’s just a matter of us here chilling on this lovely beach with the fresh corpses of all the men we just killed.”

  19

  James enjoyed the feel of his F-350’s steering wheel under his hands. The la
st couple of days had involved too much time on planes and boats. A man belonged on land in a good truck, or maybe on a horse.

  Huh. Trucks have horsepower. Maybe that bouncer was onto something. I can’t really see me riding a horse, but I could put armor on it. Maybe use magic, carving through fuckers with my blade, all medieval and shit.

  James chuckled.

  Shay looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Care to share the joke?”

  “Just stupid shit.” James shrugged. “I’ll be glad when we drop this map artifact off. Every time I help you out with this kind of thing, I remember how annoying traveling around the world is.”

  “Sorry we can’t drive everywhere. I can’t always find jobs near LA.” Shay grinned. Her phone rang, and she fished it out of her pocket and lifted it to her ear. “Who is this? Winters? Wait. I’m with James. I’m going to put you on speaker.” She lowered the phone and switched it to speakerphone. “What do you mean, you fucked up? Explain it to both of us.”

  James frowned and glanced at the phone.

  Fucked up? Now what? I want this shit over.

  “It’s like I was telling you when we helped you out the other night,” Daniel explained. “The other guys have a lot of plays going on right now. It turns out some of them were feints. We wasted some resources in some operations, and they were using that so they could gather forces.”

  “So what?” Shay replied. “We got what we need, and we’re about to deliver it. Then this shit will all be over on our end.”

  Daniel muttered something under his breath. “That’s just it. Because we were on their asses, they couldn’t get the personnel they needed to shadow you during your trip to Africa.”

  Shay frowned. “That explains the guys on the island, but otherwise this sounds like a good thing. If they don’t have the personnel to shadow us and we got what we were looking for, what’s the problem? I’m sorry they played you a little, but we did what we needed to on our end.”

  James grunted.

  Other shit always happens when you’re involved with the government. What’s next? Do we have to go to Mars?

  Daniel sighed. “The truth is, they were reserving the last of their major field forces to throw at you. They’ll do whatever it takes to stop you and get the map. They are on their way toward you at this very moment, and they will kill anyone who gets in their way, civilian or otherwise. We can run interference on our end if you don’t want the local cops to show up, or we can shove them toward you, even if Fortis is trying to block their arrival. We don’t have any tactical assets nearby to help you.”

  “No fucking way,” James rumbled. “I don’t want some cop getting turned into candy by an alien ray gun. You keep the cops away, and we’ll handle the rest. This shit is annoying, but we’ve already beat Fortis, and it’s time we gave them their final fucking lesson.”

  “Good luck, Shay,” Daniel replied. “Good luck, Brownstone. It might not be much consolation, but if you take these guys out, Fortis is all but finished.”

  James scoffed. “’If?’ There’s no chance they’ll win against us.”

  “I forgot who I was talking to. Okay, I’ll let you go, and I’ll have my people reroute traffic and keep the cops away.”

  The call ended.

  Shay groaned. “We should have stopped off at Warehouse Five to pick up my tachi. It’s like the universe is conspiring against me lately.”

  “We’re too far away now. If Fortis is already on their way, they might attack the Leanan Sidhe directly if we turn.” James gritted his teeth. “Fuck. I’m going to shove whatever alien sword or gun or fancy magical flintlock they’re using this time so far up their asses it’ll be sticking out of their throats before they die. These guys are really, really annoying.”

  “You better let the Professor know,” Shay pointed out.

  James grabbed his phone and dialed the Professor on speaker.

  “Good evening, lad!” Smite-Williams answered. “I look forward to you and Miz Carson’s imminent delivery. You can have a pint on me. Consider it a bonus.”

  “Do you have some way to make this line secure?” James asked.

  The Professor sighed. “Aye, I do. The fact that you’re asking lets me know what you’re about to say. One moment.” A few seconds passed. “We’re safe now from even the most prying ears.”

  “Fortis is coming for the map in a big way,” James explained. “I’m not sure how you want to play this. We can head toward the Leanan Sidhe, give you the artifact, and try to drive them off from there, or Shay and I can go somewhere else and fight them there. We’ve got people already rerouting traffic and keeping the cops away just in case, but we don’t know if Fortis will follow us if we break off.”

  The Professor chuckled. “My, my, how very fancy of you. I do appreciate the concern about collateral damage. If you’re keeping the police away and rerouting traffic, that makes it simple. I simply need to get all the innocent people out of this area, and we can fight them here.”

  “We?” Shay echoed. “You’re gonna fight, old man?”

  “It doesn’t seem like I have much choice now, do I, Miz Carson? These very unpleasant men are causing trouble on this job.”

  Shay sighed. “No offense, Professor. I’m sure you kicked a lot of ass back in the day, but these Fortis guys aren’t exactly cannon-fodder. You get involved in this, you might end up dead.”

  The Professor clucked his tongue. “Sometimes, Miz Carson, age and experience trump the vigor of youth. I assure you that I’ll take a few of these men with me if they attempt to take me out, and if I die today, it’ll be the most glorious death ever.”

  “Your funeral,” Shay grumped.

  “Just hurry to the pub. How prepared are you for the ambush in terms of equipment and general loadout?”

  Shay sighed. “I’m down a few weapons I would have liked, but we’ve got James, so we’re bringing a nuke to a knife fight.”

  “Aye, that’s true. Don’t worry, Miz Carson. I’ve got a few things I can lend you. See you soon.” The Professor ended the call.

  Shay looked at James. “Should we call Heather and Peyton?”

  James shook his head. “Daniel’s handling the kind of shit they might be able to help with, and by the time they got a drone over here, it’d probably be too late. That’s assuming Fortis doesn’t jam the whole fucking place again. Let them sit this one out. We’ll just party with the Professor. Tonight, though, we end this shit.”

  20

  When they pulled up in front of the Leanan Sidhe, there were almost no other cars on the street and not a single person around.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen it so dead,” James muttered, unsettled.

  Shay tilted her head. “Hear that?”

  James listened for a moment. There was faint music. He killed the engine and opened the door. The music was a slow, haunting fiddle melody. When he stepped out of the car, he spotted the source, a fiddle hovering in front of the Leanan Sidhe and playing itself.

  “What the fuck is that?” he muttered. “I better not have to do any challenging the Devil shit. I don’t mind kicking his ass, but this is California, not Georgia. We don’t fiddle against the Devil here.”

  “I don’t think you’re going to have to play the fiddle against the Devil anytime soon, as entertaining as that image is.” Shay hopped out of the truck. “I assume it’s some sort of artifact the Professor is using to repel people.”

  “Shit’s getting weird.” James shook his head.

  Shay laughed. “Weirder than us getting caught up in fighting a rogue CIA group that is dead set on stopping us from delivering a map to a magical flying castle?”

  James grunted. “Maybe.” He’d already bonded Whispy. The symbiont hummed with anticipation of the coming battle but otherwise was strangely silent. James stepped toward the front door of the pub and opened it.

  Again, he was unsettled. The place was completely empty except for the Professor, who was sitting at a large table in the cente
r.

  A light golden nimbus surrounded him. He was wearing multiple rings and some sort of necklace of chicken bones, and he was polishing a tall golden trident. A short sword made of blue-gray mottled metal sat on the table, along with several empty mugs.

  “Good evening, lad,” the Professor offered, his red face filled with cheer. “It’s been a long time since I was involved in a good scrape. This will be as invigorating as a good dirty limerick, assuming I don’t die.”

  Shay snorted. “And if you die?”

  “If I die, I’ve had a good run, Miz Carson, and I’ll die knowing I left the world a better place than when I came into it.” The Professor gave a cheerful shrug. “Can a man ask for more?”

  I wonder if that shit’s the same for me.

  James nodded to the front door. “The fiddle making people stay away?”

  “Aye.”

  “Why didn’t it stop us?” Shay asked. “Can it stop Fortis?”

  The Professor set the butt of the trident on the floor. “No, unfortunately. It can’t stop them for the same reason you’re here. It doesn’t work on people overly focused on a particular violent goal.” He sighed. “I’ve always known this day would come, but don’t worry. Even if you wreck something or they do, I’ve got more than enough zeroes in my account to rebuild the old girl. I’m not going to let my place die tonight.”

  James and Shay exchanged looks.

  “Wait, you own this place?” James asked.

  The Professor beamed a bright smile at him, as if he were preparing for his birthday and not a deadly fight against ruthless rogue CIA agents. “Aye. Did I never mention that?”

  “I kind of suspected,” Shay commented. “And I’m assuming you have some sort of secure vault around.”

  “Oh, and then some, Miz Carson, but before you ask, it’s not as if I’m keeping dangerous artifacts here at the pub for more than a day after delivery. I just keep a few toys on hand for this kind of situation.”

  The Professor gestured to the sword. “Sword or trident, Miz Carson? The trident shoots lightning. The sword shoots arrows of light. Both are great at piercing defenses, and they stab well enough as well.”