The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus 3

by Michael Anderle

  “Just saying,” Tyler grumbled. “It would have been nice.”

  A gang member turned the corner, heading toward the bathroom. His brow was furrowed, and he glanced at the front door. “Is some big shit happening, Tyler?”

  Tyler frowned. “There’s always shit happening, but you don’t get to find out about it for free. You know that. I’m running a business here. You narrow the scope of the request down, and we’ll talk about price. Then, and only then, do you get info. Unless you’ve got some info to trade me?”

  The gang member shook his head. “Nah, man. I don’t mean shit like that.” He nodded at the door. “I just came in, and I saw some weird stuff outside.”

  “You better not just be in here to use the bathroom,” Tyler replied, glaring at the man. “The bathrooms are for paying customers only. You better not think I won’t know, and you better not be even thinking about doing drugs in there. Neutral ground doesn’t mean anything goes.”

  Maria nodded her agreement, casting a stern gaze on the young gang member.

  “Nah, bitch, just listen already.” The gang member gestured toward the front door. “So I’m getting out of my car to come in, you know, and I’m seeing, like, all these Army trucks driving by. Soldiers full up with helmets and big-ass rifles like they’re ready to go fuck up the Council or some shit. I looked at my phone, and it ain’t saying shit about anything big going on, so why is G.I. Joe here?”

  What the hell?

  Despite Tyler’s surprise, he kept a calm expression. He didn’t want some low-level gang member seeing him disconcerted over learning something.

  “That’s interesting. Very interesting.” Tyler looked at the tv, hoping there might be a clue there. “Since when the hell does this crowd like golf?” he asked.

  “Maybe they know something.” Maria pointed at two uniformed officers sitting at the bar.

  Tyler, Maria, and the gangbanger walked over to the cops.

  “Hey, Jeff,” Maria greeted the older of the two cops.

  “Hey, Maria,” Jeff responded. “What’s up?”

  Maria glanced at the gang member and then back at Jeff. “You hear anything about anything going on? Anything that might involve the military? Coordinated level fives coming into the city or something?”

  Jeff shrugged. “I haven’t heard anything like that.” He frowned. “Except…we did get a notice to be on standby for extra shifts, but no one seems to know why.” He lifted his glass. It was filled with a dark liquid. “That’s why this is just Coke rather than rum and Coke. Hey, I figure a little overtime never hurt the bank account.”

  Tyler surveyed the room, his stomach tightening. He didn’t like to be behind when it came to useful information. “There’s no way a bunch of level fives is about to show up without me hearing about it. Do you know how much money that kind of information would be worth to Brownstone?”

  “I don’t know what to tell you, Tyler.” The cop shrugged, looking as confused as Tyler felt. “Maybe it’s a surprise visit by the President or some Oriceran bigwig?” Jeff snapped. “What if King Oriceran himself is coming? That would be cool.”

  Maria snorted. “This is LA, not some warzone. Why would it need to be—”

  Shrill alarms sounded from everyone’s phone simultaneously, and the golf vanished from the television. A familiar harsh tone played from the television, the alert signal for the Emergency Broadcast System. Every man and woman looked up at the tv with bated breath.

  The Seal of the Office of the President of the United States appeared with a large text overlay.

  Stand by for an emergency message from the President of the United States of America.

  “What the fuck?” Tyler whispered. He ran his hands through his hair. “What is going on?”

  Maria swallowed. “The last time I saw one of these was when the Galbrathians blew up the Seattle kemana.”

  The President appeared. He sat behind his desk in the Oval Office with a concerned look on his face. Silence swept the Black Sun.

  “My fellow Americans,” the President began. “It brings me no pleasure to have to contact you in this way, but it will be important in the coming days that the people of this country come together to aid the greater Los Angeles area in their time of need. That is what is greatest about our country: how we hold out a hand for our neighbor when he’s in trouble.”

  The gang member trembled. “What the fuck is he talking about? What’s going on?”

  “Shut the fuck up,” Tyler snapped.

  The man swallowed and nodded.

  “Let me first provide some context,” the President continued. He folded his hands in front of him. “Many people are familiar with the so-called Broken Arrow scenario, wherein the government loses control of a nuclear weapon.”

  Tyler’s eyes widened, and concerned murmurs passed through the room.

  Oh, fuck me with a rusty spoon. A nuke?

  The President sighed. “But times have changed. It used to be that nuclear weapons represented the pinnacle of destruction on this planet. However, with the return of magic to Earth, other dangerous scenarios are now possible, including a scenario that wouldn’t have been as much of a concern before the gates opened. The incident requiring this broadcast doesn’t involve a Broken Arrow. It involves a Broken Wand.”

  Maria stumbled toward the bar and caught herself with one arm. “We’re so fucked.”

  “A Broken Wand,” the President explained, “is the official code for a lost MAMD: a magical artifact of mass destruction. I won’t lie or mislead you. Large numbers of trained and skilled personnel from the military, the Paranormal Defense Agency, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, and the Department of Homeland Security, along with skilled magical personnel on loan from Oriceran, are in the process of being deployed to the greater Los Angeles area to recover this artifact. Those personnel will locate and disable this device if possible, but there is a non-negligible chance of activation and the subsequent destruction of the greater Los Angeles area.”

  Every criminal, cop, and tourist in the bar stared at the tv, their attention glued to President. Many were slack-jawed.

  The President frowned. “Let me be clear: there is no terrorist threat at this time. This unfortunate incident has to do with a unique combination of events that is unlikely to ever occur again, but that doesn’t change the fact that millions of American lives are at risk, and we need to employ extraordinary measures to protect those lives. Therefore, in coordination with the governor, a State of Emergency is hereby declared, along with martial law.”

  Several men shot from their seats. “What the fuck? Martial law?”

  “That explains the soldiers,” Tyler offered.

  “As of now, and based on consultation with experts about the risk areas, Los Angeles and Orange Counties are hereby under a mandatory evacuation order,” the President declared. “The National Guard is being deployed to perform block-by-block sweeps and help with the evacuation. Military transport vehicles and aircraft will be helping to facilitate the evacuation. If you can get to a major airport without blocking the roads, please do so. You will be flown to a safe location out of the potential influence zone of the MAMD. In addition, portals are being established in key locations throughout the region.” Several web addresses appeared on the bottom of the screen. “Visit any of these sites for a complete list of nearby locations, but I can already inform you that the Oriceran Consulate portals will take people to Sacramento, San Francisco, and San Diego. DHS and FEMA agents in those areas will provide temporary shelter for evacuees.”

  Tyler rubbed his temples. “This shit isn’t happening. No fucking way is this shit happening.”

  Maria swallowed, her face pale. “We trained for this scenario in the AET, but it’s something I hoped to never see in my own city.”

  The President’s expression hardened. “There are always those who will seek to take advantage of situations in times of trouble. While I encourage everyone to leave until such time as the evacuati
on order is rescinded, note that military patrols will be protecting the city at great risk to themselves until a full evacuation of all civilians is achieved. The governor has made it clear, with the support of the federal government and the White House, that there will be zero tolerance for looters or criminal activity. What we are about to attempt is dangerous, but the risk of millions of lives means it’s more dangerous not to leave. May God have mercy on us all in this dark time, and with any luck, you will all be able to return to your homes soon. Good luck, and God bless.”

  The Presidential seal replaced the man.

  Half the bar fled toward the door, shouting, the young gang member first among them. A waitress dropped a tray filled with drinks and ran out the door. Others trampled over the shattered glass. Under normal circumstances, Tyler would be furious, but he barely registered his fleeing employees or all the customers skipping out on payment.

  Tyler scrubbed a hand over his face. “Well, fuck. I didn’t see that coming—and I see everything coming—but it makes sense. If it’s not terrorists or criminals but just a government fuck-up, nothing would have leaked to the streets.”

  Maria took a few deep breaths and straightened her back. “Maybe this is something Brownstone can help with.”

  Tyler let out a strangled laugh. “How? You heard the President. The government is searching for the artifact. This isn’t something that can be solved by punching someone really hard. Even Brownstone will need to evacuate. I doubt he can survive an explosion big enough to blow up a city.”

  Jeff and the other police officer at the bar frowned down at their phones. “We’ve got to go.”

  Maria nodded. “Good luck, guys.”

  Darkness flavored the cop’s chuckle. “I don’t think anyone in this city can say they have good luck now.” He hopped off his stool and joined the stream of customers fleeing the Black Sun.

  “We need to get the hell out, too,” Tyler declared. “I’m not happy to have to leave, but I’ve got plenty of cash in hidden accounts. Even if this entire country becomes a crater, I can come back from it. I say we hit the Oriceran Consulate and take a portal to San Diego. There will be fewer people taking the portals because they’re afraid of magic.”

  “I…” Maria shook her head. “I’m not sure. I need to call Brownstone and figure out what the agency is going to do.”

  “What? Fuck Brownstone! I know he’s your boss, but he doesn’t outrank the fucking President!” Tyler threw up his arms. “We need to get the hell out of here. Not only that, we have to get the hell out of here. We’re under mandatory evacuation and martial law. I’m not going to get in a fight with some soldier over you worrying about Brownstone.”

  People continued rushing out the front.

  “Fine.” Maria grimaced and looked at the front door. “Let’s just swing by my place before the damned National Guard locks down the entire city. If Los Angeles is about to become a crater, I want to make sure I have a few keepsakes.”

  13

  James had to admit that the seats in the government car were damned comfortable. A truck filled with soldiers zoomed past. He had unbonded Whispy before Senator Johnston explained what had happened on Oriceran. A symbiont screeching in his mind for battle against another Vax was distracting.

  “You’re lying to the entire country,” James commented. “Everyone thinks you lost a magical nuke.”

  “True enough, but a lot of people lied to the entire world about magic for much longer. We’re lying to protect people.” Senator Johnston nodded. “I know it sounds self-serving, but it’s for their own good. If the Vax comes here, a lot of people might die, so the best thing to do is to get everyone out of the way. Simple as that, really.”

  Shay scoffed from the other side of James. “And it’s not about cutting down on the number of witnesses? A few statements here and there to the soldiers and remaining cops and it’s easy to keep them quiet, but you get millions of phones with cameras uploading instantly to the net, it’ll be too many questions you have to answer. The truth about aliens will come out.”

  “Controlling the information certainly figures into it. I’m not going to deny that,” Senator Johnston replied. “While a little technology and magic can go a long way toward keeping curious eyes off the situation, particularly satellites, the fewer people actually in the city, the easier it’ll be.”

  “But you can’t even be sure the Vax will come over.” Shay let out a dark chuckle. “You might be evacuating the entire area for nothing.”

  “Then it’ll be a nice training exercise for everyone involved, but this is definitely one time I would like to err on the side of caution rather than hoping it all turns out all right. If we had better luck, the Vax wouldn’t have shown on this planet for a few hundred years. We would have had time to develop better ray guns and spells.”

  James grunted and shook his head. He uncurled his fists, which he didn’t even remember clenching. “The asshole will come. I guarantee it. There’s no fucking way this is a big coincidence, especially since Corey is freaking out and saying it’s not normal, according to what you’ve told me. The Vax asshole might have blown up an Oriceran town, but he’s here for me.” He chuckled.

  The senator raised an eyebrow. “You find this funny, son? It’s good to not let a situation overwhelm you, but I’m a little surprised.”

  “Nah, it’s not funny. Not really.” James shrugged. “Okay, kind of funny. I just was thinking about how Shay was saying that if anything fucked up the wedding, I’d better blow up a city in revenge. Looks like that might happen, but I’ll make sure I take that fucker with it.”

  Shay elbowed James. “If you win the fight, it’ll be fine. The island I’m going to rent is off the coast of Southern California, sure, but it’s far enough away from Los Angeles that it shouldn’t be affected.”

  Senator Johnston glanced at them, an amused look on his face. “We’d prefer it if you stopped the Vax, but, yes, we are prepared for collateral damage, and we do understand that it’s inevitable the city will take damage.” He pulled out his phone and tapped in a few commands. “A limited amount of damage might even be easily repairable with magic if we need to conceal certain realities, but our primary concern is taking the bastard out.”

  “You don’t need the Oricerans to get to Oriceran,” Shay observed. “We could just send James over there anyway and let him do his thing. You said the Purifier isn’t near any cities right now.”

  Senator Johnston shook his head. “When this is all over, we don’t want to be on the brink of war with the Oricerans. We’ll handle this here. It’ll show the Oricerans that Earth can defend itself. Hell, it’ll show that the United States can defend the Earth by ourselves. If you want peace, prepare for war, and one way to do that is show strength.”

  “You think Oriceran is going to attack the Earth?” Doubt filled Shay’s voice.

  “I think that you never know what’s going to happen. Earth history, let alone the return of magic, proves that well enough, and I believe it’s a good idea to plan for the future so you don’t get blindsided by it.”

  “Where we going right now?” James asked.

  “Los Angeles Air Force Base. Not much in the way of fancy planes there, but it is where the Space and Missile Systems Center is, so it’s a nice place to help coordinate the response.” Senator Johnston swiped on his phone. “I’m ultimately calling the shots on this little party. It’s the best of both worlds. If I do well, no one gets hurt, and no one even knows I was involved, but if it goes south, then I’m the scapegoat they hang for the loss of Los Angeles.” He offered a toothy grin to James. “A politician who actually has to take responsibility. Scary thought, isn’t it?”

  “Why are you even here?” James nodded to the senator’s phone. “You could sit your ass in DC and do everything over a computer or phone.”

  “Because if something bad goes down and we’re not able to finish evacuation before your relative arrives, I think it’s important for a few high-up people
to have skin in the game. A lot of innocent people might still end up at risk, not to mention all the military personnel we’re asking to stick around.” Senator Johnston shrugged. “I’m not the President. The country can continue on just fine if my old ass dies.”

  James grunted. “I can respect that.”

  “Besides, being at the heart of this place will help us coordinate easier with some other bases involved in the control of space assets.”

  “Space assets? Why does that matter? The Vax don’t travel through space. They portal.”

  Senator Johnston held up his phone. There was a blurry picture of a long, narrow gray shape. He swiped, and there was another blurry picture. Two more swipes, same thing. A final swipe revealed four dots in the expanse of space.

  Shay leaned forward, her eyes narrowed. “What are these? Asteroids? Comets?”

  Senator Johnston lowered his phone and shook his head. “Imagery analysis indicates they are four smooth and very large and narrow objects with a number of hard angles and unusual reflectivity, and they are much hotter on one end. There are all sorts of other fancy things they can detect using fancy instruments, but there is only so much they can do with space telescopes, and not much they can do with magic so far away. These objects are still halfway across the Solar System, but they’re on their way to Earth, and they’re traveling damned fast.”

  “Ships,” Shay offered. “Those are ships.”

  James sighed. If the Vax didn’t use ships, that left only one obvious possibility. He’d already worried about this possibility when Heather mentioned the strange tasking of the telescopes by the military. “It’s an Alliance fleet.”

  “That’s what we’re assuming,” Senator Johnston replied. “The Alliance representative already threatened to handle the situation without our permission. This is proof that they aren’t content to let us solve this little problem ourselves. Given what they’ve said previously, I would also guess these aren’t cruise ships filled with alien tourists. They threatened to bombard you with anti-matter torpedoes from a much smaller ship, so they must have a lot of fancy weapons on these bigger ships. Not only that, they’re paranoid enough to bring four when one might have been enough.”