Where We Left Off

by Megan Squires

  “How long ‘til you’re home?”

  “Not long at all.” When his voice echoed not only through the phone, but also the kitchen, I jumped out of my skin, which sent the wooden utensil soaring across the kitchen and left me shaking in surprise.

  “Heath! You scared the crap out of me!”

  With the help of his left crutch, he walked across the room and hooked me into his body with his free arm. His nose nuzzled against my hair. “Mmmm, you smell like food.”

  “Is that a compliment?”

  “Most definitely. I’m starved.” Heath glanced around the room like he was searching for something. “So, where’s our little walker?”

  “Just finishing up his nap.” I bent down to grab the spatula from the floor and chucked it into the sink. I pointed to the flickering baby monitor across the room. “I was going to get him as soon as I finished up here.”

  Picking at the mound of shredded cheese on the cutting board and popping a handful into his mouth, Heath shook his head. “Nah, let me. I see you’ve got a good thing going here. I wouldn’t want to get in the way of that.”

  “I swear, the more time you spend with Boone, the more you’re starting to sounding like him.”

  “That’s not really a bad thing, is it?”

  “It’s not a bad thing at all.” I grinned. “And yes, it would be super helpful if you could get Corbin ready for dinner. I’ve got a bit left to do here.”

  Heath

  I propped my crutch against the wall and hopped over to Corbin’s crib, mostly because it was easier to handle a one-year-old without hanging on to a crutch, but also because it also made him burst into the cutest fit of giggles every time.

  “Hey, my favorite little buddy.”

  Corbin grasped the rail of the white crib and used it to help him jump wildly up and down. His smile gaped so large that drool dripped right out from it. It soaked the neckline of his cotton onesie.

  “I hear you had a pretty epic day.” Reaching down, I hoisted Corbin from his bed and hauled him over to the rocker near the window. I needed to steady myself with a hand on the wall, but once in the chair, we settled in for a snuggle. “Walking already, huh? That’s huge!”

  Corbin babbled something incoherent and I pressed a kiss to his forehead.

  “Super impressive, buddy. Not to steal your thunder or anything, but I gotta let you in on a little secret.” Leaning close, I brought my mouth to his ear. “I walked today, too.”

  As if he could comprehend what I’d said, Corbin let out an excited squeal.

  “I know, right? Big day for the men in this household.”

  There was a collection of board books stacked like pancakes on the low table next to the rocker, and I picked up the top one to flip it open. It was one of Corbin’s favorites with fuzzy farm animals and noises that chimed with each turn of the page.

  We were on the pig page, his little hand under mine as I guided it over the soft texture when he looked up me with his huge baby eyes and stopped my whole world from spinning.

  “Dada.”

  It was a mistake, of course it was. I shook it out of my head with a jerk.

  “No, buddy. That’s a piggy.” I pressed his hand to the book. “See? Oink, oink.”

  “Dada.”

  I closed the book shut and placed it back on the table.

  Then I saw her.

  “How long have you been standing there?”

  Mallory fidgeted uneasily with her apron and glanced to the monitor on the table next to me. She slumped against the doorframe. “You walked today?” Her eyes were wet, her cheeks pale. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Corbin’s super confused about his farm animals. I think we need to take a field trip to sort it out—”

  “Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

  My feet planted under me and I pushed back in the rocker and sighed. “I didn’t want to steal Corbin’s thunder. This is a big day for him. For you both. Like ‘going in the baby book’ kind of day. I’ve walked before.”

  “It’s not the same, Heath. This is a really big deal.”

  “This is a moderately big deal.”

  “This is a big deal and you should have shared it with me.”

  I huffed out my air. “I’m sharing it with you now. I walked today. Four steps, but that’s it. I was scared shitless and worried I wouldn’t remember how to do it, but I did it. Maybe I’ll do it again tomorrow.”

  Her tears streamed down her face. “I’m proud of you, Heath.”

  “Yeah … I am, too.” Now I was crying. I found it a little ironic that the only one not crying was the actual baby. “I didn’t want to tell you about the appointment in case it went badly. In case I ended up sprawled out on the floor in a heap of shame.”

  “There would be absolutely no shame in that.” Her mouth was downturned. “None.”

  “It’s cute and adorable when babies fall down when they’re learning to walk. It’s a whole lot less adorable when a grown man eats it.” I scratched at my neck. “The faces on those poor kids at school this week—you should’ve seen them. It was like they were horrified and sad for me and embarrassed for themselves and it made me sick.”

  “Do you think my father never fell down?” Her voice shook out of her in a way I’d never heard before. “Do you think I never had to come rushing into his room when he’d crashed to the floor, the paint and the brushes splattered and scattered around him? And do you think—ever for one moment—that I was embarrassed by it? That I’d lost respect for him or something? Heath—” Mallory shifted her weight and her eyes narrowed. “I love you. Good or bad. Walking or not. No matter what, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. So you sure as hell better let me be there for you.”

  She said them as vows and my heart became a kick drum, thundering uncontrollably in my chest. “Mallory—”

  “By the way, he knows what a pig is,” she said before turning to leave to head back to the kitchen. “And he knows who you are, too.”

  Mallory

  “Lucas is delivering the last of them. I’ve got things taken care of here if you want to take off a little early.”

  “No, Vickie. Let me help you close up shop.” I shut the door to the glass case and pressed my hands to my green apron. “I’m happy to help.”

  “Nope. Head home to lover boy. I’ll be fine here.”

  I rolled my eyes dramatically but blushed at the phrase she so commonly used when it came to Heath. I’d been working for Vickie long enough now to know that she wouldn’t put up with my protest, so I gathered my purse and keys after giving her a hug goodbye and headed to the lot where my car was parked.

  Heath had been at home with Corbin all day. He’d had the day off from school and for the last week, he’d left little hints that he wanted to watch him when I went to work. I’d brushed it off, nonchalantly saying I was happy to bring Corbin to the shop with me, but I could tell Heath was sincere in his ask.

  So I let him. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. Of course I was apprehensive. Not that I thought Heath couldn’t handle it—that wasn’t it at all. I was just in the baby routine and it wasn’t something you could easily fall into. I knew when Corbin’s cry rose at the end, it meant he was hungry. And when he would rub his tummy, he wanted his pacifier. A flapping hand meant he needed his blankie and a pouty lip indicated he was ready for a nap. I’d cracked his baby code and didn’t want to give Heath any additional challenges. He’d overcome so many already.

  That being said, it did something to my heart to know that he wanted to spend the day with my son, without me around. It didn’t feel like Corbin was the extra part of me anymore. This plus one. This little person that came along when Heath had agreed to be mine. He wasn’t baggage. He was a bonus, a huge and wonderful bonus.

  I found my heart feeling so much fuller than it ever had with each mile I drew closer to our home. I couldn’t wait to hear about their day. I knew a zoo trip and frozen yogurt was on the agenda and around noon, Hea
th had sent me an adorable selfie that documented their day. The giraffe in the background made me laugh and the ice cream cone with more toppings than I would ever allow made my mouth burst into a smile.

  It was an image of a father and son. Maybe not officially in title, but definitely in love.

  I’d saved it instantly as the new wallpaper for my phone.

  The door was unlocked when I reach the house and my keys clanged against the entryway table as I set them down next to my purse.

  “Heath?” I called out like I did every day. He was often home from school several hours before Corbin and I were finished at the flower shop. “Heath? You home?”

  “In here!”

  His voice resonated down the long hall. I tried to place it and it sounded like maybe they were in Corbin’s room. That would make sense. I looked at my wristwatch and realized it was just after Corbin’s nap. The breath in my lungs released. Heath had made it through the entire day, following my son’s schedule like a pro. This was the closest feeling I’d had to family in the past two years, and part of me wanted to burst into tears while the other couldn’t contain the happiness that brought about.

  I toed off my shoes and left them in the hall. I couldn’t wait to see both of my boys. I picked up my stride and when I got to Corbin’s room, only to find it darkened and empty, I stopped in my steps.

  “Heath?”

  His voice was a bit further off when he answered, “In your room.”

  I rounded the corner and froze.

  “Oh my God, Heath.”

  I immediately recognized so many of the arrangements I’d crafted just this week. There was the gerbera daisy bouquet I’d arranged yesterday placed on the nightstand, and the calla lily basket I’d worked on earlier in the morning now sitting on the dresser. At least two dozen more sprays of floral arrangements were decorated around the room, and where flowers were lacking, petals were strewn in their place.

  And there, among the colorful display, was Heath, Corbin held firmly against his side.

  “Hey, you.” Heath’s smile was soft, just like his voice. “Come on in.”

  I couldn’t keep the tears from forming, and they blurred my ability to walk without bumping into the maze of arrangements. “Heath, what is all of this?”

  He motioned me forward until his hand fell into mine. “Did you have a good day at work?”

  “Yeah.” I warily glanced around the room, at the scene before me. “Did everything go okay with Corbin?”

  “It was the best day.” Heath’s eyes hadn’t diverted, even when Corbin arched backward, trying to be free from his grip. “We had the best day.”

  I wouldn’t allow my heart to guess where this was going. I couldn’t be let down in that way. Instead, I dragged out our conversation and tried to fill in the quiet gaps. “I’m glad to hear it.”

  “How about yours?”

  I laughed. “Well, I’d say half of what kept me busy today is in this room. And I wondered why we had so many orders last night.”

  Biting his bottom lip, which left the most adorable dimple in his right cheek, Heath winked at me. “Yeah, I might’ve had a little something to do with that.”

  “Looks like.”

  That was the extent of my procrastinating. I couldn’t draw this out any more than I’d already done. There was a next step here, and the air around us vibrated with anticipation.

  “Mallory.” Heath’s neck pulled tight with a swallow. “There’s something the two of us wanted to ask you.”

  Heath

  My stomach had been in knots all day. Twisted and churned. It helped to have Corbin as a distraction today, though. His needs trumped my nerves.

  But now, seeing her standing in front of me, feeling the quickened pulse in Mallory’s wrist as I held her small hand in mine—this is where the real anxiety settled in and cradled my heart. There was not an inch of my body that didn’t buzz with the expectation of what I was about to do.

  “Mallory?” Her light eyes impaled me. Her mouth fought a smile she so badly wanted to wear. “You know how when you first meet someone, you instantly fall in love with everything they love?” She nodded, though I didn’t need her to. I’d keep talking even if she didn’t encourage the words from me. “Like, I cannot tell you how many grilled cheese sandwiches I ate back when we first met. As silly as it was, I’d associated them with you.”

  “Well.” Her voice was timidly quiet. “I am a little cheesy.”

  “Only a little.” I smirked. “But you know what I mean, right? How suddenly, anything that reminds you of that person—that’s what you want. That’s what you want to surround yourself with.”

  Her gaze would not let go of mine; her lips would not relinquish the grin they spread into.

  “Flowers remind me of you now. I doubt you realize it, but when you come home from work, you smell like them. Like this totally natural bouquet. I can’t look at a flower without thinking of you. But you’ve always been a flower to me. This stunning, delicate thing that blossoms with beauty.”

  “Heath, that’s so sweet.”

  Maybe she felt like an answer or recognition was needed here, but I kept talking.

  “But those are just things. Sure, I felt closer to you, liking the things you liked, but I felt a part of you when I loved the people you loved.” My mouth was tacky, my throat dry. I inhaled a breath that could burst my lungs and kept talking. “Boone and Sharon—they’re wonderful. Seriously. I adore them. They’ve welcomed me with the biggest, warmest open arms I could ever imagine.” The mist in Mallory’s eyes couldn’t be ignored, but I let her tears form. Let her emotion well in her eyes just as it did in mine. “And Tommy and Nana. From that first day at the dinner table back in high school, I knew they were something special. The love they have for you is so evident.”

  Mallory’s hands trembled. I gripped on tighter, but the shake in mine just magnified hers.

  “Each and every one of those people are amazing, Mallory, but this little guy?” I bounced Corbin up on my hip. “This guy means everything to me.”

  The hiccup that slipped through Mallory’s lips made my heart clench, and when she cupped her mouth and let the tears stream, I was right there with her.

  “I love your son, Mallory. The fact that you would think highly enough of me to even let me into his life is a blessing I’ll never understand how I ever deserved,” I said, readying my balance and my resolve. “All of those things and all of those other people, sure I can love them to the extent I know how, but this guy? He’s a part of you. In loving him, I get to love even more of you.”

  Her shoulders racked with sobs and I wanted to take her so badly into my arms but I couldn’t. Not just yet.

  “Mallory.” Then, with all the strength I could muster, I grasped firmly to Corbin and steadily lowered myself, one slow inch at a time. This was what we’d been working on the past two weeks during physical therapy. Not on taking steps forward. Not on one foot in front of the other. But on kneeling down, dropping to one knee.

  I’d fallen many times during my rehab. Stumbled painfully before my knee touched the ground. Flattened out and completely bailed. I had bruised shins and a bruised ego, but I kept at it, always forcing myself to do more than was comfortable or more than what felt possible.

  She was the reason I got up. Mallory was the reason I always got back up.

  She was the reason after my failed marriage. The reason after the accident. Mallory was now, and forever would be, my reason to persevere.

  “More than I want you to be my wife, I want you to be my family. I want you and I want Corbin and I want us. When I lost you all those years ago, the pain I experienced was more than I thought I could ever bear. But I was wrong. I could bear that a million times over if it came down to it again.” Her mouth dropped open and she brought both of her hands to my shoulders. I shook nervously back and forth and I suppressed the pain and the strain on my leg, but she trapped me in her grip to steady me. Calm me. I reached for her hand and
gave it a squeeze, and then lifted Corbin from my hip to hand Mallory her son. “What I can’t bear is losing both of you. Life has given me more second chances than I deserve, but I don’t need another chance to do what I should’ve done so long ago.”

  Reaching into my back pocket, I pulled out the black velvet box Tommy had sent me. I cracked it open and held it out for Mallory, who swayed softly back and forth with her child in her arms. “Mallory and Corbin Quinn, will you allow me the honor of loving you both until the day I die. Will you let me protect and cherish and treasure you every day forward? Will you let me be the man you need in your lives, the one who will lead passionately, love faithfully, and never, ever forget the huge blessing it is to call you mine?”

  Mallory dropped to her knees. Maybe from my words. Maybe from the sight of the ring that had adorned her own mother’s finger so many years ago, but she knelt down with me on the carpet in the middle of her bedroom and reached for my face, grabbing hold of it.

  “Yes, Heath.” Her mouth found mine and after a kiss that stole my breath, she pulled back, her thumb running across my bottom lip as she said, “We both say yes.”

  I ignored the throb in my leg as I took the quaint diamond from the box and slipped it on her finger. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, the way it sparkled just like her eyes.

  “I love you, Mallory.” Another kiss pressed to her lips. “I’ve always loved you.”

  “I know.” She smiled and Corbin pressed his cheek against my cheek. “We know. And we love you, too.”

  Mallory

  The two bands on my finger felt like home. That was the only way to describe it. I’d worn rings before, and there was a familiar comfort in them, but this time, when I glanced at my fourth finger and saw my mom’s engagement ring, and the diamond-encrusted band that Heath had chosen to match, I couldn’t imagine my hand without it.

  With that, I was instantly comfortable.