Perfect Chaperone

by Lauren Wood

  I felt like I was going to be sick again, and I knew that it wasn't because of the morning sickness. It was because I had messed up, badly and I didn't know how to fix it. How was this going to work?

  “What took you so long?”

  “I was waiting for something.”

  “What are you waiting for in the bathroom? You didn't take your phone in there waiting for a text, did you?”

  I wrinkled my nose and shook my head that I didn't. I know that a lot of people did that, but I couldn't stand the idea of it.

  I reached for the phone that was on the dining room table and kind of shook it a little bit to show her.

  “Then what?”

  I pulled the stick out from behind myself, and she looked at me like she didn't understand for a minute. I waited for her to get it together and then she had this wide-eyed look.

  “You're pregnant?!”

  “Looks like it.”

  “And it is Casper’s?”

  “You know that it is.”

  Ellie covered her mouth and I knew that it was her way of trying to hide her expression. She was far too happy and smiley about it. This was not a situation that was good. This was a worst-case scenario, and I didn't know what to say or think at the moment.

  “So, wow.”

  We were both silent for quite some time and that was rather remarkable for the two of us. Usually when we got together, you couldn't shut us up, but neither one of us felt like saying anything. I know I didn't.

  “Yeah. Well. I don't even know what to think right now.”

  “Your mom is going to freak out. Especially after finding out that Brandon is about to have a kid. Out of wedlock. You two are going to destroy the family name singlehandedly, in one generation.” Ellie’s impression of my mom was spot on.

  She was saying it in a mocking way, but at the same time, I knew that was exactly how my mom was going to feel about it. She was going to be more than a little upset. Not to mention that she was going to be harder on me than she had been on Brandon. He wasn't the damaged goods. I was.

  When she found out that the baby was Casper’s, I had a feeling she was going to freak out even more. Of course, that wasn't to say Casper had not changed his circumstances quite a bit. I don't know if that would be enough though. Money usually was, but my mother seemed to have an extra something special against him. I don't know why, but that's just how it seemed.

  “So, when are you going to tell her?”

  “I don't know. I might just go on holiday and come back with a baby.”

  “Well if you go on holiday, I want to come with.”

  “Absolutely not, Ellie. You were supposed to keep me from doing something stupid. Obviously, you didn't do a very good job of that.”

  “That isn't my fault. You and Casper were bound to happen for a while now and you know it. Now that it's happened though, are you really going to tell me that you're upset about it?”

  She knew me too well, and I wasn't going to say one way or another. I didn't have to really. I think she knew exactly how I was feeling at the moment. I felt like I had made a huge mistake and now I was going to have to live with it forever. I hadn't even thought about what I was going to say to Casper.

  “I just don't know what to do.”

  “There really isn't much that you can do. You're just going to have to let this ride itself out. I'm sure that it will work out one way or another.”

  And that's what I was worried about. I couldn't imagine how this was going to work out and not be a complete chaos theory. I just didn't know how to handle this.

  “I want to be there when you tell Casper.”

  “No way in hell.”

  “Oh, come on. It's kind of because of me that you guys are still together.”

  “We aren't together, Ellie. That's the problem. My mom will never let it happen and you know it. So, I don't even know what I'm supposed to do.”

  I kept coming back to that, because my mind was blank. Usually I could find a way to fix anything. There was always a way out or something that could be done, but this time I was starting to think that maybe there wasn’t. Maybe I had finally screwed up more than I could fix it. I knew that going to Vegas was bad luck, but I didn't realize it was going to completely change my life forever. Maybe even destroy it.

  19

  Casper

  “You're pretty quiet today.”

  “Just got a lot on my mind.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Not particularly.”

  “Well, I can't stand to see you like this Heather, so you're going to have to tell me what's going on.”

  “It's nothing, really.”

  “Something has changed and I'm going to go out on a limb and propose something, but I don't want to push you. I know that in these circumstances, it can be delicate to talk about it.”

  Heather was getting frustrated with me. “What are you going on about?”

  She seemed quite aggravated with me and I really wasn't sure why. Heather didn't usually get this way, but a lot of things have changed recently. One thing that I noticed was her slim-toned figure had filled out a little bit. Her bust was bigger, and she was starting to get a little bit of a stomach. But if I was wrong, I was going to offend her. And I don't know how I was going to come back from that. But if I was right...

  “Are you pregnant?”

  It had been about five months since we had sex, and as much as it freaked me out, I was starting to warm up to the idea. I just wanted to know for sure, because I was driving myself crazy with all of the wondering.

  “Why would you ask something like that?”

  “I can lay it out for you step-by-step if you’d like me to, but I really just want an answer.

  Heather avoided my eyes for a few moments and to me, that was all the answer I needed. Maybe I was right and that made me a little nervous. It had just been a thought in my mind, but if she agreed with it, then it became the truth. I wasn't sure how I was going to handle it as the truth and not just an idea..

  “Yes.”

  It hit me like a ton of bricks, even though I knew it was coming. My breath was coming out a little bit slower and I felt like I couldn't even breathe. My throat was closing up and I had to take a few steadying breaths before I could focus on anything else.

  “So, what you're telling me is, that you're going to have my baby?”

  “I don't know if I'd say it quite like that, but basically.”

  “Wow. I mean fuck, wow.”

  “Yeah, I kind of figured that's how you’d feel about it. That's why I haven't said anything. I was hoping that, I don't know. That it would somehow get easier, but I don't think that it's going to.”

  “And you really think that I wouldn't want to know?”

  “You look like you just saw a ghost, Casper. Which is kind of funny of course, because of your name, but seriously, I can tell you're freaking out. Honestly, I freaked out for at least two months after I found out. But then I got used to the idea. She’s moving around in there.”

  “I just need time to get used to the idea of.”

  “It seems like you already knew about it.”

  “It was a guess.”

  “That’s one hell of a guess. Can I ask you why you even thought that?”

  I didn't want to say anything, but then it just kind of slipped out and thankfully it made her smile.

  “You could tell because my boobs are bigger?”

  She looked down after I agreed and shrugged her shoulders. “I really can't even tell the difference.”

  Since we were talking about her chest, that was exactly where my eyes went to and it was hard not to take a look at what was in front of me. She was a beautiful woman, and nothing had changed. I was ready for us to get back together, but she had been keeping me at arm’s length. Now she couldn't.

  “When were you going to tell me?”

  “Probably when the baby was born. I don't know, you probably would have gotten a
call for me from the hospital like, ‘Oh by the way, do you want to meet your kid.’ I don't know. There were many times that I wanted to tell you and then something would come up or it just wouldn't feel like the right time. It honestly never felt like it was a good idea.”

  I could see that she was worried and scared about how I was going to react, and I didn't know how I was going to react until now, but I was happy. I don't know why it was so complicated with Heather, and I don't know why I stuck around, even though she had not given me the time of day since our Vegas trip.

  We were still married because it couldn’t be annulled and now not only were we married, but we were about to have a child together. Everything was to the point now, where we couldn't back out of it. This was happening and we had to make sense of it. I already had, but Heather needed to. She had a conversation she needed to have with her family.

  “Do you want me to be there when you tell your parents? I imagine they don't even know yet. The way you've been wearing clothes around here all bulky, I figured that you were trying to hide it.”

  “You know, if you hadn't gotten into this industry, you should have become a detective or something.”

  “I much rather would have liked it if you would have told me what was going on, instead of me having to figure out this way.”

  Heather looked down for a moment and I could tell that she felt guilty about it. She would have told me eventually, right?

  “I would have told you; I just didn't know how. I mean we were only together a couple of times, only one time that I really remember, and I don't know. It's just complicated.”

  “It's complicated because of your mother and your family. That doesn't have to make it complicated for us. We are already married Heather, so this just seems like the next step.”

  She scoffed and I knew that I was probably pushing it. This was a bit more than the next step, and I was still trying to figure out how I felt about it. It never occurred to me to think about being a father. I was always careful that it wouldn't be an issue.

  “Are you telling me that you want to just play house?”

  “I don't want to play house anymore. Heather, you're my life. I want you to get that through your head and then we can move on.”

  I started to move towards her because it just felt like the moment that I was finally going to be able to kiss her again. I didn't even want to think about how long it had been since our lips had touched. Too long, as far as I was concerned. She had been running and playing games and trying to keep herself from having feelings for me, but it was impossible. Just like it was impossible for me to move on to the next woman. My dating had dried up completely, and I knew that it was because of Heather.

  I touched her face gently and waited to see how she was going to respond.

  “This is really good news.”

  “Are you sure, Casper? I mean, this is a mess from what I can see.”

  As much as I had to agree with her, sometimes life was supposed to be messy, and I think this was one of those times. There was nothing that I could say or do that would make it all better, but I knew that I had to try.

  “I would rather be in this messy life with you than with anyone else, Heather. I know that this didn't happen the way it was supposed to, in the way that you thought it would, but it's happening. We are married and it doesn't matter if we were married in Vegas or if we were married here, the results are still the same. You are my wife. I want you to come home with me, and we can start our lives together.”

  It was not something I would usually say. I had tripped over the words in my mind because I couldn't even honestly say them out loud. But now, in front of her, they just tumbled out and hopefully she saw it for what it was. It was my way of telling her that I was in love with her. It was just that simple.

  “What are we going to tell everyone?”

  “I don't really care what you tell them, as long as you tell them you're my wife and that's my baby. The rest of it really doesn't matter.”

  The rest of it was a lot of it, and I was going to ignore the problems that I saw cropping up.

  “What about my mom?”

  “You're going to finally have to tell her the way it is. You should have told her a long time ago, when we were together before. You could have stopped yourself from wasting a lot of time.”

  “It doesn't seem like you minded it all that much.”

  “Of all the women that I've had, and I will admit that I've had quite a few, it's always been you, Heather. Always.”

  She was speechless for a moment, and I took it as she had nothing else to say. Hopefully I had set it for the both of us, and I leaned in to give her a kiss. That's all I had been thinking about the whole time anyways. I knew if I could just get my mouth on hers, then I would be able to convince her once again, that this was the only way to move forward. Together.

  20

  Heather

  I don't know what came over me. We were in his office and it just came out. One minute he was asking me if I was pregnant, and the next minute, he was telling me that he loved me. I think that's what he said anyways. He said that I was his wife and I was carrying his baby. Now he was kissing me.

  Casper had always been confusing, but this was at a whole other level of crazy. I didn't know if I was coming or going half the time and at the moment, I was feeling like I was being broken into two parts and then pulled in opposite directions. I wanted to pretend like I was professional, but it was rather hard to do, when he was pressing me up against the desk and I was mewling like a cat. That certainly wasn't professional. If I could have pulled myself together, I would have.

  I couldn't stop it though. He felt too good and before I knew what was happening, he was yanking up my skirt and trying to get my panties down my legs. Casper wasn’t wasting any time.

  There was a pause inside of me because I wasn't sure if this was what I wanted. The last time we had done something like this together, it had been too much. It hurt physically and I was still getting over the way it had made me sore for almost a week. As much as I had this need to feel him inside of me, I wasn't sure if I wanted to feel that exactly again.

  “What's the matter?”

  I don't know how he knew, but it felt like Casper always knew when something was wrong. It was just always those times that were so overwhelming that I couldn't put it into words. Now it was definitely one of those moments.

  “Last time was a bit rough, Casper. I don't think I walked straight for a week.”

  “This time will be different.”

  “How?”

  He told me to just trust him and that it would be much different. I wanted to believe him, obviously, but at the same time, there was a voice inside of me that was chiming in. What if it wasn’t different?

  “You will see. I will go slow if you want me to Heather, but I think you’re going to be asking for more, soon enough.”

  I still wasn’t all that sure about it, but Casper was confident, and I think it was pretty obvious, that he had way more experience than I did. I had no idea what I was doing, and that was the truth.

  He fumbled with the front of his pants and then opened my legs wider, as he wedged himself between my thighs. I looked down, to see his hard-on coming towards me and it made me nervous. The head was so thick, and it looked almost dangerous. I don’t know how it had fit the first time, and I was just as worried about it now. I knew it could fit, it already had, but it had also done some damage in its wake.

  I closed my eyes, hard. I wasn’t necessarily trying to shut him out exactly, but I was trying to pull myself together. I wanted to believe that if I did, maybe the moment wouldn’t be so intense. It could be no other way though. I was in his office, teetering on the edge of his desk, dying for him to move forward. It really was more than I could take.

  When I felt him start to slide up to where he was needed most, I knew that I was in trouble. The hard length split my lower lips and I felt pressure as he started to push in. I waited for th
e pain to take over, but it never came. I was thankful for that, but at the same time, I was trying to figure out what was going on.

  He was holding himself back. I opened my eyes and I wondered what was going on. Why had he stopped.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Waiting.”

  “For what?”

  “For you to relax, so that you can enjoy it.”

  I couldn’t meet the intense gaze for long. His eyes had a story to tell and it was a sad one, from the looks of it.

  “I enjoyed it last time…”

  I didn’t even get all of the words out, before he was slamming forward, holding me, so that I couldn’t get away from him.

  I let out a soft noise and the eyes that had opened to meet the kind blue ones, were gone. I didn’t know what to say or what to do. It was all more than I could handle, and my arms wrapped around his neck. His lips moved to mine and he started to kiss me. I had a feeling that he did it just so that he could muffle the sounds coming out of me.

  Casper was moving slow and deep, driving me crazier with each dip inside. This was his plan all along. I was sure of it. He knew that it felt so good and there was no way that I could say no, not whilst we were in the middle of it.

  I could hear somebody on the other side of the door, and I knew that Casper had as well, but he wasn't stopping. He made it clear to me that he wasn't going to stop and before long, I was being pushed over the edge. His lips were the only thing that had kept me sane in the midst of it all. I don't know what Casper was trying to do exactly, but I felt like my whole body was exploding.

  Just because I had been pushed over the edge did not seem to matter to Casper. The last time we had done anything, he had quickly finished after me. It had been almost like he was waiting for it and now I was always waiting for him. I had already come once and I could feel a build-up rising inside of me.