To Suit a Suitor

by Paula Kremser

  Instead of a long search for evidence of a journey to Scotland, in no time at all they were back in the carriage and were making their way back to Barrington at a good pace. Julia’s head was spinning. She had known only a tiny portion of what her sister had been up to, but if Julia had at least told someone what she did know, all this could have been prevented. Her sister was very likely better off with Mr. Corey than she would have been with Lord Blakely, but there would still be the scandal to weather. And through it all, Julia would feel guilt for her role.

  Henry interrupted her thoughts by saying, “I fear I am to blame for this fiasco.”

  “How so?” It was strange that he would think that when it was really her fault.

  “I asked Jonathan to leave,” he admitted guiltily.

  Henry looked like he was about to say more, but Julia couldn’t let him feel responsible. “I’m afraid most of the blame lies with me,” Julia quickly said, “as I knew that Harriet had been meeting up with Mr. Corey in private every chance she got.”

  “But I hurried them along. Jonathan had to leave because I asked him to go. I just never thought he’d take your sister with him.”

  Hearing Henry trying to take accountability for his friend’s actions made her frustrated with both Mr. Corey and Harriet. The fault was theirs. Pushing aside her own guilt, she said, “The special license indicates that this was planned before either of us got involved. Let’s try not to assign blame to ourselves. Perhaps another subject altogether.”

  But her suggestion was met with silence. She couldn’t think of anything to say and quiet reigned once more as there weren’t any subjects that felt safe to talk about, and Henry once again turned and looked out the window.

  Julia didn’t like being ignored, but the stilted conversation hadn’t been pleasant either. Finally, Henry turned to her and said as he pointed out the window, “Do you see that windmill? That is near the corner of the property I’ll soon be acquiring.”

  Julia leaned forward and looked where Henry indicated. Not sure what response to give, she nodded and acknowledged, “You must be pleased.” He turned and looked out the window again. But as she thought about it, she remembered something, and asked, “Is this the business you’ve been arranging with Mr. Dunn? I think I’ve heard you speak of it before.”

  “Yes that’s right,” he said turning back to her and looking for the first time today like he actually wanted to speak to her. “It’s been the most complicated business arrangement imaginable. Now that the deal is completed, I’m excessively proud of it.”

  Julia felt a small hint of a smile on her face to see his countenance change as he talked about it. In order to get him to speak more she asked, “What was so difficult about it that makes you feel that way?”

  “Unfortunately, for some time, I’ve been a bit useless to my family. My father—at my mother’s insistence, I’m sure—has required nothing of me for the last three and a half years. I’ve had a few token responsibilities given to me around the estate, but nobody has pushed me to do anything.”

  Julia wondered about Lord Chamberlain. What was Henry’s father like? She would probably never meet him, but she wondered if Henry resembled him. She didn’t expect such a trivial thing to make her feel sad. Henry had mentioned his younger brother a few times too, on a tour of the continent if she remembered correctly. She would probably never meet him either. Henry kept speaking as these musings went through her mind.

  “Mr. Dunn has the land bordering ours to the west and Father has always wanted to expand that direction, but no negotiation could bring Mr. Dunn to an agreement. I’ve been working for months on a plan that is full of layers that will finally see the expansion to the west. The tenants we already have and the new ones that will come will greatly benefit from the deal. The key was to focus less on money and more on what could be done for the people. There are stipulations in the contract that include long-term positions and each one was painfully negotiated. It’s like a carefully constructed tower and I’ve been a bit nervous that one wrong move would bring the whole thing tumbling down.”

  “It sounds complicated,” Julia responded. She hadn’t given much thought to what Henry’s responsibilities were before now, but of course she knew he had met with Mr. Dunn several times over the course of her stay in Barrington.

  “It is. I’m quite looking forward to my father’s return so I can show him what I’ve done. If it had been another easy chore, it wouldn’t have been worth mentioning.”

  Julia could see the satisfaction on his face. Then suddenly, she saw his gaze turn speculative. Julia didn’t know for sure, but he looked as though he was thinking up a difficult strategy. He probably didn’t even realize he was looking at her as he thought out plans for his next difficult negotiation.

  Their conversation fell silent and the noise of the horses and the wheels of the carriage sounded louder without their voices. Suddenly a fly flew in the window of the carriage. It buzzed around for a few moments before landing on the back of the seat between Julia and her maid. She stared at it in surprise, although having a fly join you on a carriage ride was almost as common as the carriage ride itself. This fly was smaller than the one she had caught two months before. And it was just an ordinary black fly, no jeweled colors on it that she could see. She looked up to see Henry’s green eyes watching her closely, rather than staring out the window. Julia watched his gaze move pointedly to the fly then back to her, eyebrows raised in expectation. Did he really think she would try to catch a fly again?

  Her maid, not noticing any underlying tension with the arrival of the fly, reached a hand over and shooed the thing away, and it quickly found its way out the window once more. Julia turned back to Henry, trying to ready her wits, knowing he would tease her about catching flies, but he just gave her a perfunctory smile and turned his gaze away once more.

  When they arrived back at Martha’s, Henry very quickly hopped down from the carriage, helped Julia and her maid down, then climbed back in again and bid her farewell as he tapped for the driver to depart.

  Julia was left once again with her head spinning. For a few moments there, when he had told her about his land purchase, she had felt that Henry didn’t hate her. He had shown a side of himself that she had never seen before: a hardworking, persistent side that earned her admiration. But he had only started that conversation to ease the awkward carriage ride. His discomfort in her presence had proven that. From the first moment she had met him it had never been that way. Their conversations had been dynamic. Why had she not seen that he was merely polite to other girls? She hadn’t seen it until now, when he was treating her just the same, with a cold politeness that showed how clearly he was merely tolerating her company. He had deposited her on the doorstep and driven off as quickly as he could. Why did her own feelings have to be so contrary? Now she wanted him to ask for another chance? Now she wanted him, when he couldn’t wait to get away from her?

  Julia felt her eyes well with tears as she thought about what she had lost. She had won Henry’s affection, but hadn’t reached out to claim her prize. She had shooed him away just as her maid had shooed away that fly in the carriage and he would never let her get close enough to have another chance.

  Suddenly Julia was completely annoyed with herself. She stomped her foot and said out loud, “Comparing men to flies is ridiculous!” She quickly wiped any moisture out of her eyes and went into the house to tell her mother and Martha what they had found out about the missing couple.

  A

  Chapter 23

  Julia approached Barrington Court for what she was sure would be the last time ever.

  Last night, she had finally spoken to Martha privately. They had discussed the elopement first and Martha had assured Julia that Harriet’s elopement with Mr. Corey would soon be forgotten. It would cause only a small amount of interest in Barrington, which was reasonable considering Harriet and Mr. Corey had both just been visiting a few short weeks when they eloped. Julia knew it would af
fect her much longer. Along with the guilt she felt for not sharing her knowledge of their courtship was the sadness that she and her sister hadn’t been close enough to confide in one another. She truly was sorry not to be present at her sister’s wedding and wish her happiness and joy with her new husband. It felt too late to try to make it right now, but she was determined to write to her sister and at least try.

  Following that discussion, Julia had finally asked Martha if she could live with her permanently. It hadn’t gone well.

  “Martha,” she had begun tentatively. “I’ve wanted to ask you for some time if you would allow me to stay here with you in Barrington to live with you permanently. I know you’ve already arranged for another young lady as a companion, but perhaps you could send her away and keep me instead.” Martha had a rueful look on her face and Julia knew already that her answer would be no. Julia hurried to add, “I know my family arriving uninvited was quite inconvenient for you, but Harriet is married now and my mother won’t travel so far from London again. Please, Cousin. I won’t be any trouble.”

  “I would love to have you stay Julia, but I’ve arranged for Miss Dunn to live with me and her family very much needs the help, and I don’t have the room or means to keep you both.” Martha really did look regretful. Julia could tell she had already thought about having her stay, but had decided against it.

  “Oh, I didn’t think about Miss Dunn’s situation.” Julia said.

  “I’m sorry I can’t keep you instead of Miss Dunn; it’s just that Henry helped me arrange this. It was one of the conditions Mr. Dunn insisted on in order for Henry to buy his land. Their family is really in a desperate way since Mrs. Dunn died and Mr. Dunn needs the money from the sale of the land and a place for his girl to go. Although he was insistent that she not come until the 25th when the contract will be final. I think it’s been a difficult negotiation for Henry, and Miss Dunn coming to me has to happen for the contract to be fulfilled.”

  There was a huge temptation for Julia to adopt a persuasive tone and try to convince Martha, just as she always did with her mother. But Julia wouldn’t do that. Henry’s entire deal that he had worked so hard on would fall apart without the arrangement that Martha had with Miss Dunn. Julia thought about what Henry had said in the carriage earlier, and she knew she wouldn’t ask again.

  She had protected her heart by not letting Henry pull her along at his whim, but now here she was, feeling hurt again anyway. And it was Henry himself who was preventing her from staying in Barrington. It was unintentional of course, but if he ever found out he would congratulate himself on his ingenuity.

  Realizing that Martha couldn’t change the arrangements, she had said, “I understand. I just wish I had a way out of my mother’s control. It’s going to be worse without Harriet there.”

  “Perhaps you could stay another month, maybe even two. Would that help?”

  Julia had shaken her head no. Nothing less than a permanent change would help. “Thank you anyway, Martha.”

  After that conversation, she had been surprised that she hadn’t felt more disappointment. Staying in Barrington with Henry hating her just wasn’t that appealing, although it still would have been preferable to returning to London with her mother.

  Julia had never met Mr. Jenks, of course, but she had asked Harriet a few weeks ago about the man her mother wanted her to marry.

  “He’s not a catch, certainly,” Harriet had said. “But he’s so concerned about not making mistakes in society that he’s mostly just quiet. If you go along with Mother’s plan for you, he won’t be the worst husband.” Her argument was less than convincing.

  “That doesn’t really make me feel better,” Julia had replied. “I want out of this scheme of Mother’s more than anything.”

  Harriet hadn’t known that Julia’s plan was to stay in Barrington so she had thought of another strategy. “If you can find someone quickly she won’t make you marry him.” Harriet had looked at her almost triumphantly as she said, “I know! You can try for Mr. Bedford again. Lizzie Tomlinson threw him over when Lord Vaughn arrived in town.”

  Julia had hated the idea and responded, “Not likely, Harriet.”

  “Oh, you should just try,” she had tried persuading. “A little groveling on your part just might do the trick.”

  Julia had cringed at the very idea and Harriet, noticing her expression, had said, “Well, I think you should try. Mr. Bedford is a far sight better than Mr. Jenks.”

  Now, as Julia thought back on the conversation, she knew she might have to swallow her pride and try. At the time she had been fairly certain that Martha would let her stay in Barrington. Without that option, Mr. Bedford probably was her best choice, or more accurately, her last resort.

  Of course her mother couldn’t be bothered to pay a farewell visit this morning. Instead she had slept late, leaving the task to Julia. More than anything she wished this last morning call to bid farewell to Lady Chamberlain was already behind her. But, perversely, there was a small part of her that wanted to savor every moment of her last time in Henry’s home.

  She still didn’t know what to think about Henry. He obviously wanted nothing to do with her now, but she wondered about before. She was fairly certain that he hadn’t really meant it when he told her that she was the one he wanted. But there was that small bit of uncertainty that was constantly nagging her. Perhaps it had been true. But when so many other young ladies thought the same thing, doubting him was inevitable. Her thoughts always came to the same final conclusion: it didn’t matter either way. Even if he had cared for her, he didn’t now.

  Julia tried to shake off the depressing thoughts. There was a positive in all this: at least she had learned to stop doubting herself. It was just too bad her realization had come too late to do her any good. She had wasted three London seasons pretending to admire the men who courted her. She could have been herself and who knows how things would have gone for her instead? Now she would return to get a husband of her mother’s choosing.

  Hmm, Julia thought to herself, shaking off depressing thoughts is proving difficult. These were the same thoughts that had kept her awake late into the night. But Julia wasn’t giving in to her mother’s will quite yet. Besides trying to hunt down Mr. Bedford again, she had already come up with several desperate schemes to get out of marrying Mr. Jenks. She had invented several new flaws for herself that would be sure to scare the man away. But Julia couldn’t think about that now; she knew she needed careful conversation skills with Lady Chamberlain, so she tried to focus her thoughts once more as she and Martha were let into the house. Even though she was the one bidding farewell, she hoped Martha would do most of the talking.

  Lady Chamberlain was waiting for them in the hall when they entered and most surprisingly walked up to Julia with a grin on her face and embraced her. Julia’s arms returned the gesture more out of surprise than anything. Truthfully, she hadn’t expected so much affection from Lady Chamberlain. And shouldn’t a farewell embrace come at the end of a visit? Lady Chamberlain pulled away and held Julia by the shoulders. She was smiling a wide smile and looked more genuinely happy than Julia had ever seen her as she said, “I’m so glad you’ve come this morning; I’ve been aching to see you.” She wrapped an arm around Julia and turned and walked to the drawing room. “I wanted to rush over and see you last night, but it was so late that the entire household had already retired. And I knew you were coming this morning for a visit, but I assure you I could hardly sleep with anticipation.”

  Julia lifted a hand to brush away a curl that had fallen forward so she could see Lady Chamberlain’s face. She stared at her curiously for a moment, but they were in the drawing room now and she turned away to find a seat.

  Before she sat, however, she saw Henry standing there. Lady Chamberlain’s strange behavior was temporarily forgotten as Julia tried to think how to react to his presence. He had been clearly frustrated and angry with her stubborn refusal at the Trevons’ and had hardly spoken to her as the
y looked for Harriet and Jonathan yesterday. Julia had not thought he would be here at all this morning and she wondered what had induced him to be in her presence now. Was he still frustrated with her? Or was he perhaps just indifferent now? She’d probably never know; he surely wouldn’t show any genuine emotion in front of his mother. Julia decided she would try her best to do the same.

  Henry was still standing, and Julia finally realized he was waiting for her to sit so he could as well. Julia knew that her slow reaction to seeing him again must have looked strange to the others as she and Henry just stood a few feet apart, staring at one another while Martha and Lady Chamberlain sat and watched them. Julia quickly sat and wished for the ability to pretend with Henry. Why could she do it with every other man, but not with him?

  Julia watched Henry take his seat across from her. His green eyes never left hers and his expression remained serious.

  Julia was startled out of her observation of him when Lady Chamberlain said, “Miss North—actually, may I call you Julia?” Without waiting for an answer, Lady Chamberlain continued, “I’m curious what your plans are. Now that there has been this new, ah … development, are you still planning to return to London? Of course, we’ll join you there if you choose to return with your mother, but I hope you’ll be my guest here instead when Miss Dunn arrives to be Miss Abbot’s companion.”

  It was such a curious statement that Julia couldn’t make sense of it. The only new development she could think of was Harriet and Mr. Corey’s wedding. Why would Lady Chamberlain think that Julia should be her guest? She stared at Lady Chamberlain for a few moments in expectation of her saying something that made sense. “What exactly are you speaking of?” Julia finally asked.

  “Oh, I know better than to say. These things are always kept quiet until there is an official announcement. I won’t say a word until you and Henry give me leave, but I can tell you, it won’t be easy.” Lady Chamberlain pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes. “Forgive me for being emotional; I’ve just waited so long for this.”