Wipeout: A Sweet Teen Romance (Ryder Bay Book 4)

by Jordan Ford

I don’t know.

  I’ve sat through enough internet safety classes to know you should never meet an online person who you don’t know anything about.

  I mean, I know Bass. At least I think I do. We’ve talked deep. We know each other.

  But I don’t know any of the small-talk details.

  What if he’s not sixteen?

  What if he’s some old creeper who’s just really good with words?

  I don’t want to believe that, but fear clutches me, warning me away from the meet. I’m not ready. I don’t even have the courage to tell anyone about Bass.

  Except Jace.

  I mean, I kind of subtly mentioned Bass and then Jace got sweetly protective, wanting to meet the guy. Maybe I could ask Jace to come with me. But ugh! How awkward would that be? The guy who makes my heart swoon meeting the guy who makes my pulse race.

  If only they could combine to be one person. That would be freaking amazing.

  But life’s not that fair.

  It never has been, and it never will be.

  I have to make a choice. And my choice is not to meet Bass right now, not to fall in love with Jace, and to play it safe with Reed as well. That may sound boring, but Mom always told me that there’s nothing wrong with a little boring. Just like there’s nothing wrong with a C average and there’s nothing wrong with not being prom queen.

  “I know being an average Joe sounds plain and uneventful, but it’s not. Life can be simple and happy and sweet. You don’t need to be the best or have the best to be happy, Lettie love. You just need to be grateful for everything you do have.”

  Mom always had such a cool way of looking at life.

  Man, I wish she was here right now. She’d be able to tell me exactly what to do.

  27

  From Laughter to Tears

  JACE

  It’s been a quiet week.

  I’ve kept my head down and my nose clean.

  There’s nothing much else to do around here. After my phone call with Mom on the weekend, I’m not exactly excited to go home and not be allowed to see any of my friends. But I don’t want to go to military school either. So my only option is to be good, but then that might get me sent home.

  Argh!

  It’s frustrating as hell.

  Plus Snap Dragon has completely ignored my suggestion to meet. She still emailed me back, but she didn’t comment at all about my big request. I was kind of gutted, and annoyed, so I haven’t emailed her back. She sent me a little check-in midweek, but I still haven’t replied yet. I don’t know what to say to her.

  With an irritated huff, I drop my board down and skate along the boardwalk, winding around clumps of people and glancing at the ocean. It’s flat and glassy, unfortunately. This morning, Harley and I made plans to surf after school, but then we read the report and knew it was a no go. So she’s ditched me for Aidan, and Jed has gone off to hang out with Skylar in her mansion.

  I don’t know what Griffin’s up to, but I didn’t want to go home and ask, so I came straight to the boardwalk from school. Neo and Raven invited me to a party. I don’t really think they want me to come; they’re just goading me since they know I’m not supposed to hang.

  I’ve been managing to shrug it off without it riling me too much, but every now and then I get that urge to act out. Part of me would love to just show up at one of their parties and get drunk off my ass, but images of Hayes’s broken body always pull me up.

  I can’t go down that path again.

  I don’t want anyone else to get hurt.

  The angst inside of me roils and tightens, so I push a little harder on the ground to pick up speed, swerving around a grandpa with two kids and narrowly missing a couple pushing a stroller.

  “Watch it, kid,” the dad barks, but I ignore him, gliding past other pedestrians until I’m brought up short by a sight I just can’t resist.

  Lettie is strolling toward me, oblivious to my stare as she messes with her phone. Buds are in her ears, and I want to know what she’s listening to. My gaze travels down her body, taking in her school uniform—blue and green tartan pleated skirt with a crisp white shirt and blazer. The navy knee-high socks accentuate how skinny her legs are, but damn if she doesn’t look fine.

  Shifting sideways, I get into her path. She’s about to walk right into me when she looks up with a gasp. Her fright quickly morphs into that stunning smile I love so much.

  I grin at her as she pulls the buds from her ears. “What are you doing here?”

  She shrugs. “Just walking around. Savannah wanted to hang with Griffin after school. He’s working this afternoon, but we drove straight here. Louis is on a playdate, and I figured I’d rather walk around than hang on the sand to watch my sister get her flirt on.”

  I chuckle and turn to face the same way she is. “Can I walk with you?”

  She grins and points to my board. “Wouldn’t you rather skate?”

  I glance down at the board against my leg, then give her a sly smile. “Would you like to skate?”

  “Uh…” She starts to giggle, her eyes bulging wide.

  “Come on. I could teach you.”

  “As cool as that might be, I, uh… That’s gonna be a hard no. I am completely uncoordinated.”

  “I bet you’re not.” I narrow my eyes at her.

  “I bet I am.”

  Her counter and blush are so damn cute, I can’t let this slide. “Come on.” I hold out my hand. “Be brave, Lettie Lou. Let me teach you how to skate.”

  She wrinkles her nose, and I silently beg her to give in. Right now there is nothing more in the world I want to do than teach this girl how to skate. I have no idea why I’m feeling it so strongly. Maybe it’s just the distraction I need.

  Letting out a shaky breath, she rests her hand in mine and pleads, “Not in public, though. Okay?”

  I wink with a smile. “Don’t worry, I know a good spot.” Dragging her down the boardwalk, I veer left down Falcon Street and then right on Chester Ave. Half a block down, I pull her around the back of the Presbyterian church to the secluded parking lot I found earlier this week. It’s always packed on a Sunday, but during the week, the church is pretty quiet.

  It’ll be the perfect place for Lettie to learn.

  I let her hand go and place the board on the ground. She crosses her arms around her middle, gripping the sides of her blazer.

  “Why don’t you take that thing off so you can move more freely?”

  “Oh, okay.” She slips it off her shoulders and folds it in half, looking around for a safe place to lay it down.

  “There you go.” I point to a bench around the corner of the building, and she sets it down before taking her sweet time to walk across to me.

  She looks pretty nervous, but I’m positive she’s not as uncoordinated as she claims.

  Her shiny black shoes tip to the sides as she stands in front of me, and I give her an easy smile, hoping to calm her nerves.

  “You’re gonna be great. I won’t let you fall, and I won’t let you get hurt, so just relax, okay?” Her head bobs a few times, which makes me chuckle. “You know, you’re kinda cute when you’re nervous.”

  “Shut up.” She winces and covers her face with her long fingers.

  I gently pry them off and then get into the lesson. I let her hold my shoulders as I walk her across the concrete on my board, telling her where to put her feet.

  “I’m gonna let you go now, okay?”

  She whines in her throat but loosens her death grip on my T-shirt, and I step back as she slowly glides away from me.

  “That’s it! Nice job!” I clap and she wobbles on the board, stumbling forward.

  I sprint ahead to catch her before her knees hit the ground, but she manages to launch her foot out and I only end up steadying her.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” she whispers, then looks up at me with a sweet grin. “Can I try again?”

  “Abso-freaking-lutely!” I smile and we spend the next twenty mi
nutes practicing.

  She’s gonna be a slow learner, but that’s okay. I’m impressed she’s even trying, considering she is a little…well, uncoordinated. Her slender legs make me think of a newborn giraffe—long and a little gangly. And she seems to trip over her feet without even trying.

  Is it weird that I find it adorable?

  “Nice job, Lettie!” I holler as she gets all the way to the grass without falling off.

  She jumps onto the grass and lets out a happy squeak.

  “Okay, now come back to me. See if you can build up some speed without me.”

  With a nervous nod, she turns the board around and sets herself up to push off and come toward me. I’m about to call out some encouragement when my phone rings.

  I yank it out of my pocket, hoping it’s not Mom.

  But it’s not.

  It’s Hayes!

  “Gimme one sec,” I call to Lettie, turning my back and walking away so she won’t hear the call. As far as I know, she doesn’t have a clue about Hayes or my history. I’d like to keep it that way if I can.

  “Hayes, dude! You’re calling me.” My voice is loud with excitement.

  But that emotion gets crushed the second I hear the reply.

  “It’s not Hayes. It’s Steph.”

  “Oh. Uh…hi.” I clear my throat, already dreading what my best friend’s mom is about to dish out.

  At first, she doesn’t say anything, and I wonder if she’s waiting for me to say more when she sniffs and finally rasps, “I thought you should know that there was a complication with the surgery this morning. It didn’t go as planned.”

  My insides freeze, a cold chill racing down my spine, making it hard to speak. “Is, uh… is he okay?”

  Steph sniffs again, making it obvious that she’s crying. My insides twist into the tightest, most painful knot I’ve ever experienced.

  “Tell me he’s not dead. Please.”

  After a thick swallow she manages, “He’s never walking again, Jace. The doctor’s made that very clear.”

  I go still, everything inside of me shutting down.

  My chest hurts.

  I can’t breathe.

  “I blame you,” she whispers. “You stole his life, Jace. You’ve ruined his future.” Her bitter words are like acid. They burn through my brain, making everything hurt that much worse. “So, I want you to stop texting him. Stop trying to make up for what you did, because you can’t. There is nothing you can do to make it better, and I don’t know if I can ever forgive you.”

  And with that, she hangs up.

  I have no words.

  An ocean of pain roars between my ears. My hands are a trembling mess as I try to slip the phone into my pocket. I miss and it clatters to the ground, but I ignore it, stumbling around the side of the church so Lettie can’t see me.

  Pressing my back against the bricks, I clench my jaw until I feel like my teeth are about to break. Tears build hot and fast behind my eyes. I don’t want them to fall, but as Steph’s words ring through my head, I buckle forward and let out a pitiful sob.

  28

  There Are No Words

  LETTIE

  Something’s up with Jace.

  He just dropped his phone and ran around the corner.

  I wonder who the caller was.

  I wonder what they said.

  Do I follow him? Or did he just hide around the corner because he wants space?

  Catching the board with my foot, I pull it toward me, then crouch down and lay it on the grass so it can’t roll anywhere.

  My teeth are digging into my bottom lip as I inch toward the brick building.

  Should I call out his name?

  Should I—

  And then I hear it.

  A cry. A wounded kind of sob that urges me into a light run.

  By some miracle, I don’t trip and manage to make it around the corner unscathed. Jace is sitting on the bench, my blazer crumpled beneath him. His face is buried in his hands and his shoulders are shaking. It reminds me of the times Dad has broken down. Those times I never knew what to say or do, so I would quietly sneak back up to my room and cry my own tears.

  But I can’t do that now.

  I can’t sneak away from Jace.

  He doesn’t have a Savannah to fill the gap. He doesn’t have a Louis.

  Right now, there’s only me.

  And I have to be enough.

  Bunching the edges of my skirt in my fists, I cautiously walk around him and crouch at his feet.

  “I’m here,” I whisper, lightly rubbing my hand up and down his arm. “I’m here if you need me.”

  He pulls back, dropping his hands and showing me his tear-streaked face. He looks completely gutted. I want to ask him what happened, but when I open my mouth, nothing comes out. He might not want to talk about it. I don’t want to pressure him.

  His jaw works to the side before clenching tight, like he’s trying to hold himself together with threadbare pieces of cotton.

  Placing my hands on either side of his face, I rub my thumbs beneath his eyes. I want to tell him that it’s okay to keep crying, but my throat is too tight to speak. All I can do is show him with my eyes, silently tell him that I’m not judging, and I’m not leaving.

  He lets out a shaky breath, the edge of his mouth twitching as he gives me this pained, heartbroken smile.

  I’m desperate to know what’s wrong. I’m desperate to help, but I still can’t find words.

  Brushing his knuckles across my cheek, he then splays his fingers around the back of my neck and leans toward me. His expression buckles like he’s about to cry again, but then the space between us disappears.

  It happens so fast I don’t even realize it’s coming until his lips are pressed against mine.

  They’re warm and soft, trembling against my mouth as he lightly grips my neck and tries to pull me closer.

  My body responds without even thinking about it, pressing into him with a hungry desire I didn’t even know I possessed. My fingers grip his shoulders as I lean close, wanting to annihilate any space that exists between us.

  When his lips part, I follow suit easily—as if I was born to kiss him.

  Considering this is my first time, my body sure as hell knows what it’s doing.

  It’s an effort to hold back a little whimper of pleasure as his tongue sweeps across mine. My logical brain is warning me to pull back. Jace is upset. This might not be the best time for a make-out session.

  But my heart is drowning out any logic.

  This feels too good.

  He needs me.

  I can’t pull back.

  I don’t even know how.

  29

  Too Far

  JACE

  Lettie’s tongue in my mouth is both sweet and scorching.

  Her fruity scent mingled with her heat is driving my heart rate up to a fever pitch. It’s overriding the tears, the shame, the angst that’s trying to choke me.

  As she tips her head and deepens the kiss, my body responds of its own will, and I lift her onto my lap in one easy move. She straddles me, her body pressing against mine as I splay my hand on her back and run it up to her neck and back down again.

  Damn, she feels so good.

  She’s killing the pain.

  Moving my head the other way, I dive for her mouth again, desire pulsing through me so loud and fast, I can’t think straight. My hands round over her hips, resting on her legs and begging for a touch of that soft, smooth skin. Before I know it, impulse is taking over and my fingers have slid beneath her skirt, splaying over her soft thighs. My body responds to the triumph, urging me to keep exploring, until she lets out a little gasp and pulls back.

  I jerk out of my trance, glancing at her uncertain expression and suddenly being hit with the cold splash of truth.

  She’s never done this before.

  She’s a virgin.

  Shit, this might even be her first kiss.

  What the hell is my problem?


  This sweet, innocent girl is giving her first kiss to me? A hungry, selfish bastard who is using her to drown out my guilt.

  A trembling breath whooshes out of her mouth, touching my skin and reminding me of what a complete jerk I am.

  If she hadn’t gasped…

  If she hadn’t pulled back…

  I have no doubt that I would have mindlessly taken things way too far.

  What the hell?

  I am such an asshole.

  Gently pushing her off my knee, I can’t even look at her as I stand and stalk away.

  “Jace?” she quietly calls, but I keep moving.

  I can’t.

  She deserves so much better than me.

  I wish I could spin and tell her all of this, but my voice is broken. My soul is shattered. There’s no space for words right now.

  Snatching my phone, which now has a cracked screen, I grab my board and break into a run, wishing there was some way to just disappear altogether. Maybe if I run hard enough and fast enough, my lungs will give out and this can all be over. I can escape the guilt and the trail of pain I seem to leave in my wake.

  30

  Perfect Words Required

  LETTIE

  My body is shaking as I watch Jace disappear.

  I know he doesn’t want me to follow him.

  That was intense, but when his hands started inching up my bare thighs, I just couldn’t hold back a gasp.

  It was all so new and foreign.

  So enticing and terrifying at the same time.

  I’m not ready to go all the way, in spite of what my thrumming pulse is trying to tell me.

  I feel heady and hot, yet I’m shaking like I have a fever.

  Is it weird that I want to kiss him again?

  Gently touching my lips, I relive his taste, his warmth…the horrified, apologetic look on his face just before he pushed me away and took off.

  He knew.