Lifeline

by Susan X Meagher

  "Come by Niall’s when you’re finished, okay? Maybe you can bring us some snacks or something."

  "Yes, dear," Jamie said, rolling her eyes. "I’ll bring snacks. I’ve got to remember to take my ATM card, though – you guys could clean out an entire 7-11!"

  Jim stopped by to pick Jamie up, and when they were finished, Mia offered to drop her off at Niall’s. After a trip to the store, they pulled into Niall’s driveway – which the other’s had thoughtfully refrained from using so Jamie would have a convenient place to park. "God, Jamie, we’ve never bought this much for a week at home!"

  "I guarantee it will all be gone within an hour," Jamie said. "Well, technically it won’t all be gone. They always leave one chip in the bag and one cube of cheese on the tray. No one likes to eat the very last piece for some reason."

  The door was open, as usual, and they immediately went out to the back yard, their arms laden with snacks. "What in the hell are you doing?" Jamie cried when she saw the awful mess.

  "Break in the main sewer line," Niall said, wiping his face with the hem of his shirt. We’ve got to dig the whole thing out. There’s no water in the house, by the way." He gave her a grin and said, "It’s good to see you two, even if you hadn’t brought food."

  "You guys can’t eat this stuff! You’re filthy!"

  "We filled up a couple of buckets with water before we turned it off," Ryan called out. "We thought ahead so we could wash our hands."

  Walking over to the trench that the workers were digging, Jamie stood above her lover, with her hands on her hips. "You are absolutely filthy, Ryan O’Flaherty! You’ll catch a disease if you eat with those hands!"

  "Then you’ll just have to feed me," she said, giving her a cheeky grin.

  Jamie rolled her eyes and looked at the other members of the group. "Only six of you? Where is everyone?"

  "People got busy once they heard we were hand digging a trench through the entire back yard," Niall said. "Wimps."

  The group was made up of only Rory and Ryan, Niall, Kieran, Colm and Donal, and each one looked like they’d done the work of three. "The drain wouldn’t have been so bad, but someone, and I’m not saying who, got a little enthusiastic with a pick and poked a hole in the water line. That’s why we had to shut it off, as well as why it’s so damned muddy."

  "I’m a tile setter," Colm mumbled. "If you wanted a plumber, you should have hired one."

  "I didn’t say your name," Niall said. "You could have spared yourself the humiliation. You should just be thankful that the two lines are right next to each other. If we’d had to dig a separate trench, we wouldn’t be quite so jovial."

  "Don’t worry about it, Colm," Jamie said. "I know Ryan loves to play in the mud. I guarantee she’s happy you broke the water line."

  He gave her a grin, then looked at his brothers smugly.

  "We’ll go in the house and get the snacks ready. Are you ready for a break?"

  "We were ready for a break at 11 a.m.," Niall said. "We’re starving now!"

  "Just hold on," Jamie said. "We’ll call you when it’s ready."

  She and Mia went inside and started to unload the groceries, then Jamie remembered that she had a container of baby wipes in the car, and she ran out to get them. "We can at least clean our hands with these," she said.

  "I have to pee," Mia said. "Does the toilet work?"

  "Let me ask," Jamie said. "I doubt it, though."

  "Hey, guys, does the toilet work?" she called out the back door.

  "Nope. We’ve been using the sink," Niall said, grinning boyishly.

  Jamie’s hands went to her hips once again, and she scowled at the chuckling men. "Ryan? You’d better not have been sticking your butt in the sink."

  She twitched her head, indicating the side of the house. "They tried to convince me to go over there, but the neighbor’s windows were open. I walked down the street and went to the little burger joint on Sloat. I was so filthy, they didn’t want to let me in, but I bought some burgers so they relented."

  Mia was listening to the interchange and she said, "Cover me, Jamie. I’ll never make it to the corner." She scampered out to the side of the house, much to the amusement of the work crew. "Why is the urge to go always so insistent when you know there’s nowhere to do it?" she moaned. Luckily, she was wearing a short skirt, so she accomplished her goal rather easily. "Damn, this feels good," she said.

  "I’m certain it does," Jamie said, rolling her eyes once again. "Never a dull moment with the O’Flahertys."

  When Mia was finished, they went back inside, and after she followed Jamie’s instructions to use two baby wipes on her hands, they started to make the snacks. Niall had almost nothing in the kitchen, but he had managed to procure a few big, plastic bowls and a pair of plastic platters. He also had a few knives and a couple of spoons and forks. "Coming over here is like going camping," Jamie said. "You have to pee outside, the rooms are entirely empty, and the only furniture is a picnic table and benches."

  "I think it’s fun," Mia said. "No one in my family would ever be this casual."

  "Oh, they’re casual, all right," the blonde said. "Will you just look at them? I’ve never seen people that dirty."

  "Or that hot," Mia gave Jamie a bump with her hip.

  "Hot?"

  The curly-haired woman paused, then stared at her friend. "Don’t tell me you don’t think she’s sizzling hot today! I’m about to proposition her – and I’m not even that crazy about muscles!"

  Jamie looked out the window and stared at her partner for a moment. The group had done a tremendous amount of work, and the trench had been dug to a depth of about 2 and a half feet with a matching width. It ran from the water main in the alley all the way to the foundation of the house, and it looked as if each member of the group had been assigned a section to work on. Ryan’s was from about 10 feet from the house down to Rory’s section, which was about 10 feet from the start of hers. She had worked quickly, and her task was just about finished. As Jamie watched her, she stood for a moment and stretched, her muscles rippling as she did so.

  Since the carjacking she had lost the bulk that Jamie had managed to put back on her over the previous month. But the blonde was sure that the scale wouldn’t reveal all of the weight her partner had lost. For while Ryan had not been eating much, she had been exercising so vigorously that Jamie was sure she had put on a good deal of muscle – all in her shoulders, arms and back.

  She was wearing a khaki green tank top, and a pair of buff-colored cargo shorts, with a pair of ragg socks and her constructions boots. Always attuned to her breasts, the blonde noted that Ryan was not wearing a bra – and she reasoned that she wanted to be unencumbered while she worked. A few months ago she couldn’t have gotten away with that – but her breasts were always the first to go when she lost weight – much to Jamie’s regret. It was still obvious that Ryan was a woman – she was just a rather modestly endowed woman at this point.

  Getting back to work, she hit the bank of the trench with her spade, and every muscle flexed from the effort. Her weight loss had highlighted every well-defined striation of sinew, and as Jamie watched her work, she slowly realized that she had stopped looking at her partner as a sexual being.

  "I don’t look at her like I used to," she whispered, grabbing onto the sink so tightly that her fingers paled.

  Mia tucked an arm around her waist and gave her a squeeze. "Hey … what’s going on? You look like you’ve seen a ghost."

  "I thought it was all her – but it’s not! I’m doing it, too!"

  "Doing what too?" Mia asked, thoroughly confused.

  Jamie turned away from the window and leaned against the counter. "I’ve been blaming the fact that we’re not having sex on Ryan – but it’s my fault, too!"

  "I didn’t … I didn’t know you were still … not," Mia said quietly. "I just thought that once you got home …"

  "No, things haven’t gotten any better," Jamie said. "Well, that’s not true. We’re trying to pus
h things a little bit. We kissed for a couple of minutes the other night, and Ryan even let me slip my tongue into her mouth."

  Wrapping her arms around her friend, Mia whispered, "Oh, Jamie, I had no idea it was that bad. I didn’t know that you weren’t even kissing each other."

  "Things are very, very strained, Mia." She leaned against the counter again and said, "I just feel like shit. I’ve convinced myself, and my therapist, that I’m back to normal – but I’m not! I’m sleeping with one of the most desirable women I’ve ever seen in my life, but I don’t even feel a stirring anymore when I look at her."

  "How do you feel?" Mia asked.

  Jamie turned back to the window and gazed at her partner for a long minute. "Protective. I want to wrap her in my arms and never let another thing hurt her." Her eyes closed as she tried to fight back the tears that were always so close to the surface. "She’s had so much pain in her life, Mia. It breaks my heart that this had to happen to her."

  "It happened to you, too, James. I know you’re all about protecting Ryan, but you need some protection, too."

  "I know. It still bothers me a lot, and I’m sure it will for months to come; but Ryan’s wracked with guilt and remorse and anger in addition to the trauma. That’s what’s so hard for her." She leaned against the counter, letting her head drop down. "Damn it, Mia, I don’t know if I have the strength to resuscitate my own sex drive as well as help Ryan get back on track."

  "Jamie, how could you feel sexual if you want to mother her? You have to think of her as an adult to be attracted to her."

  "Yeah … I guess you’re right. It has been hard to think of her as an adult. She seems so childlike, Mia. So very fragile."

  "Are we talking about the same woman?" Mia twitched her chin, and Jamie stood and looked out the window again. The crew was cutting the pipe out of the trench, and Ryan was at the front of the group. She had her arms wrapped around the cut end and she was straddling it as they all tugged on it to free it from the earth. The pipe was made of clay, and over the years roots from nearby trees had grown into the slightly porous conduit, making the task all the more difficult. "That is not a fragile woman," Mia said. "She looks like the Incredible Hulk on an estrogen high."

  "She does," Jamie said, smiling fondly at the straining woman. "But she doesn’t send off her sexy vibes any more. That’s what I respond to."

  "Wanna see a sexy vibe?" Mia asked in challenge.

  "Uhm … sure. What are you going to do?"

  "Flirt with your girlfriend. You stay right here and watch. I guarantee I can make her flirt back."

  "Uhm …"

  "Great! Be right back."

  Mia darted away, leaving Jamie to stare after her in shock. A second later the curly-haired imp was leaning over Ryan, saying something that the dark woman found quite funny. Jamie couldn’t hear a word, but whatever Mia was saying was completely entertaining Ryan.

  There was a problem with the pipe down at Colm’s end, and the other guys ran down to cut away some of the hardier roots. Ryan looked up at Mia and wiped her face with the bandana she had in her back pocket. Then she sat on the bank of the trench and crossed her arms, in what Jamie could only hope was an unintentional highlighting of her braless breasts. The perky mounds strained against her tank top, both nipples hard as pebbles. Again, Jamie hope that was because of the cool breeze blowing across her sweaty body – but she couldn’t be completely sure. Mia squatted down and said something else, and Ryan gave her one of her patented lopsided grins, and Jamie felt her knees weaken. That was the grin that had captured her heart the very first day she had ever laid eyes on the dark beauty, and the simple gesture had the same dramatic impact on her today that it had then.

  "My God, she’s gorgeous," she whispered aloud, letting herself really see Ryan in a way she hadn’t been able to lately. The guys were ready to pull again, and Ryan got back into position. Just when they had the pipe lifted, Mia said something funny and Ryan started to laugh, the kind of unrestrained belly laugh that Jamie hadn’t seen in a month. Her breasts bounced, her head was thrown back, and she struggled mightily to hold on to the heavy pipe. With one final tug it came free, and she swung one long leg over it to be able to push it up onto the ground. When it settled with a thump, she and every one of the boys leaned onto it, trying to catch their breath. Jamie could see how her top was stained with sweat, so she rushed to take the beer and soda out to the workers. She was tremendously pleased to feel an old, familiar throb between her legs, and she had a definite spring to her step when she went outside.

  "Here’s something to drink, guys. I’ll be out with food in a minute." She ran back inside and threw a bag of chips into one bowl, then ripped open the containers of salsa and guacamole. Boxes of crackers and a mound of cheese cubes filled one tray, and cut-up vegetables and dip filled the other. It took her two trips to bring it all out, but that gave the crew time to wash their filthy hands.

  Ryan sauntered over, her skin the color of the fine clay soil. "How about a kiss, baby?" She pretended to grab Jamie’s off-white slacks, and the blonde danced away from her.

  "You keep those dirty hands to yourself!"

  "They’re not dirty. I just washed them."

  "You just sit right down on the picnic table and let me feed you. You’re an absolute mess!"

  Ryan did as she was told, smiling when Jamie popped a cube of cheese in her mouth. "Cracker, please."

  Jamie placed one between her teeth, expecting her to bite, but Ryan pulled the whole thing in and chewed noisily.

  "My little barbarian," the blonde said.

  "Have I told you how nice you look today?" Ryan asked, batting her eyes.

  "No. Now what do you want?" she asked, grinning at her.

  "Me? Can’t I just give my beloved one a sincere compliment?"

  "Sure you can. I’m sorry for doubting your motives, sweetness."

  "Uhm … Jamie? Would you go get me a beer? It’s awfully far."

  "Scamp!" she said, pinching her nose, which was about the only clean part of her. Walking the 3 feet, she bent and took a beer from the cooler, then presented it to her partner.

  "Thanks," Ryan said. "Nice ass, by the way."

  "Oh, you are a feisty one today," Jamie said. "I like you feisty."

  The boys had cleaned up as well as they could, and they all stood around the table, demolishing the food like a swarm of locusts. Mia watched in amazement as the bowls and platters were cleaned methodically, most of the guys not even taking the time to speak. "That was astounding," she said to Jamie.

  "Yeah, they’re keeping Frito-Lay in business," Jamie said.

  "Well, I think I’ll head home," Mia said. "You don’t need a ride, do you?"

  "You drove, didn’t you, sweetie?" Jamie asked her partner.

  "No, I came with Rory, but we can all squeeze into his truck. Thanks for delivering my sweetie-pie," Ryan said, smiling at Mia.

  "My pleasure. See you guys later tonight?"

  "We might stay over and come home in the morning," Jamie said. "It depends on if I have to soak Ryan in the tub overnight."

  "Funny," the brunette said, wrinkling her nose.

  "See you all later," Mia said, kissing each of the workers on the top of the head to avoid being slimed. She took off, then the boys went back to the pipe to cut it into manageable lengths for disposal.

  Jamie continued to feed her hungry lover with the pieces of cheese she had managed to snare from the other vultures. "You know what I thoroughly enjoyed today?"

  "No, what?" Ryan asked.

  "I enjoyed watching you laugh while you were flirting with Mia."

  "I was not flirting. But I was laughing." She looked down at the ground and said, "It felt good. Like I was using muscles that were beginning to atrophy." She gave her partner a smirk and said, "I don’t know what game you two were playing, but she told me that she’d bet you she could make me flirt with her. How’d I do?"

  "Oh, what a bad girl! You were intentionally showing off your
breasts!"

  "Nah. I was just cold," Ryan said. "But I did give her my flirty smile. Is that what you two wanted?"

  "Precisely," she said. "You’re in your element today, Tiger. I think that’s why you loosened up and got out a few belly-laughs."

  "You’re right," she said. "I felt like a kid today. It was wonderful."

  Jamie looked at her dirty face and dirtier body and said, "I don’t think I ever played in the mud. Elizabeth had a real thing about keeping my clothes nice."

  Ryan almost bit off a sarcastic remark, but she realized that Catherine had probably not had time to tell Jamie about the letter. Instead, she tried to make light of it. "Aw, come on. Everybody played in the mud at some point. Maybe when you were real little."

  "I doubt it. When we’d see other kids playing in the dirt, she’d always make some comment about how uncivilized they were. She was a real neat-freak." She grew pensive, then added, "I did get to be a little wild with Poppa sometimes. Every once in a while he’d take me out and let me play like a real kid. He always brought play clothes for me so I could pass inspection when I got back home." Looking at Ryan for a moment, she said, "Boy, it astounds me to think of how outraged Elizabeth would be by you, baby."

  "Is that part of what you like about me?" Ryan asked, cocking her head slightly.

  Jamie thought for a moment, and finally said, "You know, I think it might be. Of anyone I’ve ever met, you’re the only person that I know Elizabeth would completely detest." She chuckled softly and said, "As much as I did care for her, I used to have dreams of doing something to shock her so badly that she quit and ran back to England, never to be heard from again."

  Ryan stood and regarded her partner for a moment. Jamie was sitting atop the table, looking perfectly crisp and clean. "What would shock her the most about me?" Ryan asked.

  "Now? Or when you were little?"

  "Now."

  "Mmm … she’d hate the fact that you were gay and happy about it."

  "Obvious choice," Ryan said.

  "Oh, it’s more than that, though. She’d hate how comfortable you are with expressing your sexuality." She paused a second as she said this, and Ryan could see her hesitation.