Burning Shadows
Page 18
“Let’s head back,” Vidar said. We wound our way through the towering pine trees.
There was one good thing to come from all of this. “While I’m at the castle, I’m going to search for Anders.”
“It’s too risky.”
I almost laughed. “And trying to bed Morlet isn’t?”
“I don’t want you focused on two separate tasks.” He stopped and faced me. “I need you to get in there, sleep with Morlet, and get out. Do you understand?”
If I was going inside that castle, I was looking for Anders.
“Kaia,” he said, taking my hand. “He might not even be there. You can’t risk your safety searching for him. Above all, you’re a Kriger, and I need you to return so we can end this. Without you, all of this is for nothing.”
I understood what he said. However, there was no way I could go to the castle and not at least try to see if Anders was okay. “Don’t you care about him?” I asked.
His eyes darkened. “How can you even ask that?” He released my hand.
“I’ve only known him for a few months, yet, I’m compelled to rescue him. It’s killing me not doing anything!”
“How dare you accuse me of not caring! He’s been my friend for the past hundred years. He is closer than a brother.” His chest heaved up and down, and his face reddened with anger. He turned and started walking away. “I am a ruler first. My responsibility is to the people of Nelebek. I must put their needs above my own.”
“I understand that,” I said, sprinting to catch up with him. “Can you at least send a group of rebels after him?” They could try and sneak in medical supplies.
Vidar ran his hands through his hair. “I can’t do anything right now. At least not until you’re pregnant.”
Fury filled me. I balled my hands into fists, trying to keep my temper reined in. “Are you telling me that you’ll only help Anders once I’ve whored myself to Morlet?”
He raised his hands, begging me to calm down. “I’m simply saying that once you’re with child, I can send men in to try and rescue him. Until then, I can’t risk angering Morlet.”
“Right now, you’re angering me!”
“If I send a team in and Morlet discovers them, you won’t have a chance at getting close to him after that.”
“But—”
“No, Kaia. You listen to me. I am thinking logically. You are thinking with your heart.”
I wanted to say something nasty to hurt him—that at least I had a heart—but I kept my mouth shut. He was trying to be reasonable and do what he thought was right. Unfortunately, his decision went against every fiber of my being.
“My friend will sneak you into the capital in a couple of days. From there, he will lead you to the castle. You may return here once you are successful.” He turned and stormed away.
Angry tears filled my eyes. “Instead of saving your best friend, you’re whoring out your fiancée,” I yelled after him. Vidar flinched, but he didn’t look back. He left me standing there, tears streaming down my face, my hands shaking with frustration. Fine. I would do it on my own. I would seduce Morlet and rescue Anders.
Not wanting to return to the cave in my current state, I paced back and forth, trying to calm down.
“Are you okay?” Damaris asked, startling me.
“Where did you come from?” I demanded.
“Vidar asked me to come and check on you. He didn’t want you alone in the forest.”
I almost laughed—alone in the forest was unacceptable, but alone in Morlet’s castle was okay since it served a purpose. “I’m fine. Vidar and I just had a disagreement.”
She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and ushered me over to a mossy boulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I could really use someone to confide in. Since Damaris already knew about the curse and my role in it, I quickly told her the gist of my fight with Vidar.
“I can understand both sides of the argument,” she said, climbing on top of the boulder and sitting down.
“Me too,” I admitted. “I just wish there was a way to check on Anders to see how he’s doing.” Was he locked in the dungeon? Lying on a table being tortured? It had been almost a fortnight—the deadline for the Krigers to go to the castle. If we didn’t show up, Norill would kill Anders and return his body to me in pieces. I shuddered—we were almost out of time.
“There is one way you can check on him,” Damaris said. “I’m surprised you haven’t done it already.”
“What are you suggesting?” What hadn’t I thought of? What had I missed?
“Remove your medallion and communicate with Morlet. Ask him about Anders.”
Fear blossomed inside of me. If Anders were dead, Morlet would gloat.
“Go to the king,” Damaris urged. “Find out if Anders is still alive.”
I leaned against the boulder. “Maybe I can find Anders instead of communicating with Morlet.” I rubbed my temples. It had been weeks since I’d spoken with Morlet. Since I’d learned the truth about the curse, I’d been too embarrassed to face him.
“I don’t understand,” she said.
“When I link with Morlet, I feel myself floating through air and being pulled to him. What if I can force myself to another location in the castle? Then I could look for Anders without anyone knowing I’m there.” Why hadn’t I thought of it sooner? It was a great idea.
“That’s too risky,” Damaris insisted. “The only reason you can link to Morlet is because the two of you share a special connection. If you try to go somewhere else, you risk the chance of being lost in a state of unconsciousness forever.”
“How do you know?” I asked, eyeing her suspiciously. There were times, like now, when she knew more than she should.
She averted her eyes to the ground. “You have to trust me on this. If you choose to communicate with Morlet, then do so. But don’t mess with things you do not know or understand.”
The word choice sounded in my head. Everything was a series of choices—and I never knew if I was making the right one or not.
“Very well,” I finally said, deciding to take her advice.
“You won’t go sneaking around the castle?”
“No. I’ll talk to Morlet, listen to what he has to say about Anders, and return.”
Damaris glanced around. “We’re alone. Do you want to communicate with him right now?”
I removed the medallion and held it between my palms. Was I ready to learn the truth about Anders?
“What’s the matter?” she asked.
“I’m trying to figure out what to say to Morlet.”
“Have you ever been at a loss for words before?”
“No.” But I’d also never talked to him knowing I had to be intimate with him. What if he told me he’d killed Anders? I’d never be able to forgive him. I squeezed the medallion.
“Don’t overthink it,” Damaris said. “Just go to him like you usually do. Try to act normal.”
“And what about the part where I’m supposed to bed him?” My face flushed with embarrassment.
“Don’t worry about that. Just focus on Anders.”
“So you’re saying I shouldn’t flirt with Morlet? Or start to be… that way toward him?”
Damaris chuckled. “No, do not attempt to woo him. Otherwise, he’ll definitely know something is up. No offense, Kaia, but you are a bit naïve when it comes to matters of the heart.”
“Being forced to sleep with Morlet has nothing to do with love.”
“It has everything to do with the heart,” she said. “You’re in this position because two people fell in love, and they couldn’t be together. Your job is to right the wrongs of the past.”
“At my expense,” I bitterly said. Damaris seemed to know an awful lot about what happened so many years ago.
“You must have faith that everything will work out.” She patted my hands. I could have sworn her fingers came into contact with the medallion, but she didn’t flinch or react in any way.
“See,” she said, smiling, “we deal with matters of the heart all the time. You just have to pay attention in order to notice.”
“You’re impossible,” I said, shaking my head. I closed my eyes and prepared to make the connection.
“If you’re not conscious in twenty minutes, I’m putting the medallion on you.”
“Okay,” I mumbled. “It shouldn’t take me that long to discover Anders’s fate.”
I opened myself up. Instead of the usual pull I felt for Morlet, there were three distinct tugs. One was Morlet, another was Norill, and the last one was my bo staff. Desire to retrieve my weapon bombarded me, but Damaris had warned against altering my course, so I focused on Morlet and let myself go to him.
I stood in an empty hallway of the castle that I hadn’t been in before. There was a large archway in front of me. Stepping through it, I entered a grand ballroom.
Hundreds of candles situated in chandeliers hung from the ceiling. Detailed tapestries depicting various family crests covered the walls. To my right, a huge fireplace roared, heating the room. Two golden throne chairs sat at the front of the ballroom, crowns atop each one.
I recalled reading a detailed account of a Kriger coming to this very room and battling Morlet. The Kriger lasted only minutes before the king rendered him unconscious, threw him in the dungeon, and tortured him. I wiped my sweaty hands on my pants, wondering where Morlet was.
When I reached the center of the room, the door flew shut behind me, making me jump. I spun around and looked at the king.
“Where have you been?” he demanded. His black cape concealed his face under the large hood.
I remained in the middle of the room while he hovered near the closed door. In order to have this conversation, I needed to see his face.
“I thought you died,” he finally said, taking several hasty steps toward me. “I felt you disappear.” He reached up and placed his gloved hands on my cheeks. “What happened?”
I had to discover Anders’s location; I couldn’t forget that and be sucked up into Morlet’s intense emotions. The light from the fire revealed his flushed face and blue eyes. “What do you mean?” I asked.
“I am always aware of your presence, even though I don’t know exactly where you are. A few weeks ago, that connection vanished. I thought you had been killed. Then I felt it return a little over a week ago.” His brows pulled together, waiting for me to explain.
I couldn’t tell him about the spell Grei Heks cast on the other side of the mountains that blocked magic. “Why are we here?” I asked, changing the subject.
“You came to me.” He tilted his head to the side. “You must need something.”
I took a step back, away from him, and his hands dropped from my cheeks. With shaking hands, I reached up and pushed his hood back, exposing his face. “Much better.” I had to find the good in him and hope it would be enough to learn Anders’s fate. “I meant, why are we in the ballroom?”
A small smiled spread across his lips. “Would you rather be in my bedchamber?” My face flushed. He reached up, cupping my cheek. “Kaia.” He closed his eyes. “When I couldn’t feel you, it was if a chunk of me went missing. It reminded me of all those years ago when Linnea died.” He stepped closer and lowered his head.
Was he going to kiss me? Should I let him? Or should I back away? Panic swirled inside of me.
“Where were you? What happened?” His breath caressed my face.
It was hard to think with him so close. “I’ve been wearing the medallion.” Not a lie, but not the reason he couldn’t sense me.
“Kaia, you shouldn’t be here,” he murmured. “When I thought you died, I did things, and they can’t be undone. You need to leave.”
“I had to see you.” I withheld the real reason.
He sighed, and his body sagged against mine, wrapping me in a hug. Fire shot through me from the contact. “My Kaia.” He lightly kissed the corner of my mouth, and a tingle of magic rippled through me. Being this close to Morlet intoxicated me, and I wanted more. “I always knew you’d complicate matters.” His hands slid down my arms, making me shiver.
He abruptly stepped back. “After weeks of ignoring me, why did you come?”
I turned away from him and moved closer to the fireplace, trying to figure out what to say. There was no sign of Norill anywhere. “I missed you.” Also not a lie.
He sighed, the sound touching my heart. Whenever I was around him, I always remained guarded. Now, that wall slowly crumbled down. For the first time, I could imagine being with him—a part of me wanted it. Which scared me.
“I have a question for you,” I said.
He came and stood alongside me, gazing into the fire. “What is it?”
“I know this isn’t my physical body—that this is a part of my mind. What about you?”
“It is the same for me.”
“If you… hurt me here, does that injury transpire to my physical body?” What I really wanted to know was if we could be intimate in a dream state instead of physically. Would it be possible to conceive his child that way?
“Possibly,” he answered. “I can heal you through our connection. The thought of harming you never occurred to me. Why? Do you intend to injure me? Is that why you’re really here?”
“No, just curious.” He was too guarded. I wouldn’t get any information out of him unless he trusted me. “You kissed me.” I ducked my head in embarrassment. “No one has ever kissed me before.”
His eyes widened, and he moved closer to me.
“No one? Not even Vidar?”
“He’s kissed my forehead and cheek, but only out of friendship. Nothing more.”
“How do you know I meant more?”
I swallowed. It took every ounce of willpower not to back away from his piercing blue eyes. Feathers brushed my skin, and my body warmed. An inexplicable craving for this man inundated me, and I took a step toward him, welcoming it.
“Interesting,” he crooned.
He looked away, and my head cleared, no longer clouded by desire. Had those feelings been mine? Or did Morlet use his magic on me?
“You are an interesting one,” he murmured. “Your intentions are good.” He clasped his hands behind his back, as if observing a piece of art. “Why are you here?”
“I’m looking for Norill.”
“Why?”
I fumbled with the edge of my shirtsleeve. “She stole my bo staff. I want it back.”
“Ah,” he said, smiling. “The point of your well-timed visit.” He strode to the throne chairs at the front of the room. “Do you take me for a fool?”
“No.”
“You came here not because you miss or care for me, but because you want something. It is the only reason you ever come to me willingly.” Hurt and anger etched his voice.
“That’s not true,” I insisted. This was not going the way it was supposed to. “It’s been killing me to stay away and not talk to you. But I’m engaged to Vidar. He would be furious if he knew I was here.”
Morlet’s cape billowed as he abruptly turned and sat on the throne chair on the left. “My dear brother Vidar,” he spat. “Tell me, at what point did he ask you to marry him? After he knew you and I share a special connection?” His fingers drummed on the arms of the chair.
“I don’t love him.” I couldn’t believe I just admitted that out loud. However, time was running out, and the conversation needed to steer toward Norill and Anders.
“You are engaged to him.”
“There are things you don’t understand.” I moved closer to Morlet. I wanted to tell him everything—about needing to have his child, about my family on t
he other side of the mountains, and about being inexplicably drawn to him.
His hand slammed down on the arm of the chair, the bang echoing through the room. “What don’t I know?” he snarled. “Tell me.”
I shook my head, unable to reveal that I had to conceive his child to end the curse plaguing my family. If he knew, would he force himself upon me? Would he refuse to share my bed? Would he think less of me? Would he blackmail me?
“Perhaps it is you who doesn’t know a great many things.” He gracefully crossed his legs and folded his hands on his lap. “Norill told me she had another run in with you. Yet, you didn’t come to me for help. She mentioned you might not have survived the encounter. Clearly, you did, or you wouldn’t be here.”
I tried to keep my face neutral so he wouldn’t see my shock. Morlet was keeping things from me, trying to see what I would reveal. “I should go. Vidar will come looking for me soon.”
He jumped off the chair and lunged for me, grabbing my arm and holding it tightly. “What did you really come here for?”
“Let me go.”
“Why are you here?” he demanded.
“Where’s my weapon?”
He smiled. “Norill has it. But you already knew that.”
I balled my hands into fists. It seemed he was playing games with me. He knew I’d fought Norill, that she had my weapon, and that I’d come here to discover Ander’s whereabouts. “Where is she?”
“With her new play toy,” he snarled.
All color drained from my face. The room spun before me. My legs wobbled, but Morlet’s grip tightened, holding me upright. “You will release him,” I demanded.
“Release who, darling?” Morlet crooned, his eyes darkening like an oncoming storm.
“Anders.” I’d play my part in this game if it meant saving Anders’s life.
“That filthy assassin murdered my parents and started this mess. I plan to tear him apart piece by piece. Just like I promised.” He squeezed my arm so tightly that I yelped. He loosened his grip.
“Is he still alive?”
“For now. Norill will hand him over once the Krigers come to rescue him.”
“The Krigers aren’t coming. Vidar forbid it.”