The Trophy Wives Club
Page 24
“We’ve got to climb, Haley. Find a ledge or something.”
“No, we have to get to the sunlight.” I jump from his arms and yank him to the left. In a few steps, there is less water. “I think it’s there.” I point, but, of course, he can’t see me. “If you had one wish for your life, Hamilton, what would you have done?”
“I wouldn’t have followed you into this cave.” He laughs. “I’m kidding. One wish…” He breathes hard as he keeps the pace. “One wish. I would have abandoned myself to love someone at least once. I would have risked more, thought less. I wouldn’t have waited for the perfect woman to come along and rescue me from my fears.”
“Truly?”
“Truly.”
“I thought you would have wanted to handle Tom Cruise’s divorce settlement or something.”
“What about you? What would you have done differently?”
“I would have recognized that my husband never loved me. I would have admitted to myself that I had already failed as a wife. Fear paralyzes you, doesn’t it, Hamilton?”
“We’ve been walking forever. Where’s the end?”
“We should have hit it by now. I don’t know where we are. I’ve never walked this far inside the cave. I must have taken a wrong turn.” My voice trembles with cold.
“Then this might be my only chance.” He lifts me up again, and this time his arms feel different. They are not merely carrying me, they are firm and tight. “I don’t want to have any regrets. You owe me that much.”
He stops walking, and I can touch the water with my arm dangling. It must be up to his waist by now, though the noise has quieted. The motion of an incoming swell pushes us forward, and he wobbles under the wake.
“Haley Adams, if I had it to do over again, I would have grabbed you in the office nine years ago and told you what that dirty old man was trying to do to your life. I would have told him to take his money and stuff it where the sun don’t shine, and I would have tried to rescue you then. When I should have. When you might have rescued me from my ignorance and misunderstanding of women.”
“I don’t need rescuing. I told you. I made my own stupid choices.”
“I needed rescuing, Haley. I needed it.”
He continues to walk, but I pull myself closer to his chest and snuggle into his luscious-smelling neck. I won’t have time to regret this. If I’m going to take my last breaths of oxygen, this is as good a way as any to use them. I feel the warmth of his face close to mine, and I put my hands on his jaw, turning his face toward mine, and our lips find each other in the darkness.
Silence.
There is no noise. No pounding, thunderous surf or rising water. All my fear momentarily evaporates. I kiss him with all the emotion I didn’t know was still within me. I thought that part of me was dead already.
“All those years, I thought I was doing everything right. But there is no right when you abandon everyone’s feelings, when you deny that what you can do has the power to hurt them. I never cared for anyone. Not really. I told myself I did, and when I saw you come in that day to rescue Jay, even though he didn’t deserve a bit of it, I finally knew what you meant.”
“I had too many feelings. I never looked at reason, and I took Jay’s word that he loved me, though I can’t think of an instance where he showed it. Not for my sake.”
“You can’t let him take that from you, Haley. You always thought of other people, there’s no shame in that.”
Hamilton pauses. “I never extended anyone grace, I just became locked away in this emotionally retarded state, like all the men I worked for. Now I know, there’s nothing more than grace. It’s all about grace—because I clearly didn’t do anything right. You gave me a real faith, Haley. I wanted to live right by God, but the thing is, you can’t do that on your own power.”
“I couldn’t do it alone either. It was when Bette, Lindsay, Penny, Lily, and Helena came into my life that I realized relationships are a two-way street, and I could count on people.”
Hamilton takes three steps forward, and I see it.
“It’s the sun!”
“I think you’re right.”
But in my mind, I’m thinking maybe the coldness has made us numb, maybe we’re going toward the light that is our maker. But as he sloshes through the water, it has receded to his knees and the hole really is there. And with it comes a second chance. For both of us.
Acknowledgments
Thanks to Avon Books and Cynthia DiTiberio for their hard work on this manuscript and to Jeana Ledbetter, my agent, who continues to deal with me.
Dear Reader,
My passion for this book doesn’t come from something I’ve experienced myself. It comes from watching terrible destruction happen to already broken individuals. Sometimes as Christians, we often think it’s our duty to mete out punishment, and because we are flawed, we can make the situation worse. Divorce is an outward symptom of inner brokenness. What I hoped to show in Haley is not a belief that divorce is the only viable option, but that pat answers aren’t enough for those who suffer from its wrath.
Sincerely,
Kristin Billerbeck
People may think all their ways are pure, but motives are weighed by the Lord.
—PROVERBS 16:2
Discussion Questions
Haley is blindsided by the demise of her marriage. Do you think there’s more she could have done to be aware of her situation? What were her false expectations of Jay?
When Haley meets Hamilton Lowe again, there’s a chemistry between them that defies logic. Have you ever felt that way? Did you couple it with reason before diving into a relationship?
One of Haley’s biggest troubles is that she doesn’t fit in with her husband’s crowd. Have you ever felt left out in a group where contact couldn’t be avoided? How did you handle it?
Is there a particular clothing style or food that you like, but don’t wear or eat because other people might speak poorly of you? Why?
Haley resorts to the comfortable and shuts down when she has no destination in life. Have you ever felt adrift in your lifetime? How did you change it?
Jay’s ultimate betrayal of Haley are the lies within their marriage. Have you ever known toxic people in your lifetime? Did you ever see them do something that made another feel responsible for their sin?
Haley is very unsure of the church after a rocky upbringing with a flaky mother. Do you have friends who might benefit from a little extra warmth in your friendship? How might you go about making this happen?
The Trophy Wives Club’s members pursue Haley with abandon. Have you ever fought to be someone’s friend when they gave you every indication they were fine on their own? Was it a good experience?
Haley’s church group is a collection of oddballs connected by one terrible incident in their histories. Do you have friends who know your dirty little secrets and help you hold your head high? What have they meant to you?
Haley’s money woes turn out to not be an issue, and she discovers she’s not as covetous as she might have thought. Is there something in your life as an idol that you’ve had to abandon? If so, how did it turn out?
About the Author
KRISTIN BILLERBECK, one of the first Christian chick-lit authors, has been featured in The New York Times, USA Today, The Atlanta Journal Constitution, and World Magazine for her work. She also appeared on The Today Show for her award-winning book, What a Girl Wants. Kristin has been married for fifteen years and has four children. She makes her home in California.
Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.
By Kristin Billerbeck
THE TROPHY WIVES CLUB
Credits
Cover photograph © David Fischer/Getty Images
Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, livi
ng or dead, is entirely coincidental.
THE TROPHY WIVES CLUB. Copyright © 2007 by Kristin Billerbeck. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
ePub edition July 2007 ISBN 9780061754739
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 01
Chapter 02
Chapter 03
Chapter 04
Chapter 05
Chapter 06
Chapter 07
Chapter 08
Chapter 09
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Acknowledgements
Dear Reader
Discussion Questions
About the Author
Other Books by Kristin Billerbeck
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher