Drag Queen Beauty Pageant

by Malachite Splinters

  “Don’t pull out—” I gasped.

  He was still deep inside me. I found his hand and pushed his chest up, guiding his hand to my erection, which had leaked all over the two of us while he fucked me.

  When his hand wrapped around me, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes and darkness subsumed me.

  It was all just one all-consuming streak of ecstasy from my sphincter to the spot deep inside me to my balls to my dick which he was palming expertly, but even as I burned with pleasure, I thought of the love which had travelled through me when Damaris made me come and now I found there was nothing but the raging black darkness of the void, spurting out of me and landing on my chest and face as I came, trembling and moaning and clutching Marcus with every part of me I could.

  I lay there, boneless, covered in sweat, breathing hard, for what seemed like a long time, with Marcus on top of me.

  He kissed my mouth and I wanted to shrivel up and disappear.

  Now that it was over, I was feeling a sickness growing within me. The contents of the void coagulating and shifting queasily.

  I shifted, getting onto my elbows, wanting him to get off me. He was still inside me and it felt uncomfortable now.

  “Do you want me to pull out?” He asked, lifting himself onto his arms as well.

  I nodded, wincing, and the unpleasant feeling of my muscles contracting as his girth slipped back out of me, culminating in a flash of pain, made me shiver in disgust. He got up and carefully carried the used condom to a trash can next to a chest of drawers.

  I stood up, feeling slightly woozy and extremely exposed. I didn’t want to be naked any more.

  “Ow,” I could feel the soreness in my rectum setting in already.

  “Babes,” Marcus came toward me with a look of concern on his face. “Be honest now, are you alright?”

  I nodded, not wanting to meet his gaze. I wrapped my arms around myself, moving toward my discarded clothing.

  “I’m fine,” I muttered.

  “Here,” Marcus said, going over to a wardrobe in the corner of the room and pulling out a terry cloth robe. “Put this on.” I accepted it, if only to cover myself up as quickly as possible. He produced another, exactly the same, and put it on. “Let’s take a shower,” he said.

  I tied the robe tightly and stuck my hands in my pockets. I felt panicky at the mere thought of thinking about anything I had just done. If I left here now, I would have to go home and I didn’t want to think about that.

  A few moments ago I’d felt disgusted with Marcus and myself but now, as Marcus came and took my hand and started leading me out of the bedroom, I felt the familiar tug within me, drawing me toward the comfort Marcus was offering.

  Bad, bad feelings were waiting for me. The void had receded, it had been sucked away into the other dimension where it waited. But it would be back. And anything I could do to hold it off, I was willing to do. I went with Marcus.

  In the bathroom, he turned the water on and clouds of steam started to emanate from the shower stall and fog up the mirror.

  “Do you have a shower cap?” I asked, looking at the spray warily. “I can’t get my hair wet.”

  “Er,” he rummaged in the cupboard under the sink for a few moments and brought up a small cardboard packet, which he tossed at me. It was a shower cap from a hotel. “Alexis is compulsive about that shit,” he said, straightening up and undoing his robe. “There’s a homeless shelter’s worth of hotel toiletries in there.”

  I put the shower cap over my head and tucked my hair into it. It crinkled and the elastic prickled my forehead. Not exactly a sexy look. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Couldn’t we just shower separately? Did we have to do everything together now?

  Marcus shrugged his robe off and hung it on a hook on the back of the door. His tall, skinny body seemed to loom large in the small space of the bathroom. He glanced at me, still in my robe, and then stuck his hand in the shower. “The water’s fine,” he said, and disappeared behind the shower curtain.

  I stood there in front of the bathroom sink, undid my robe and looked at myself in the mirror. I’m not a virgin any more. I had always thought that having sex would somehow confirm that I was attractive, but looking at myself now, I didn’t feel differently about my body. Did he really want this?

  “What are you doing there, princess? Admiring yourself in the mirror? The fairest of them all.” Marcus drew back the shower curtain. I looked at the water running down his naked body and met his eyes and was struck anew with how attractive he was. He saw me looking at him and he leaned up against the tiled wall of the shower languidly and cocked his head to one side, his eyes going coy. “Get in here so I can wash you.”

  I fiddled with the belt of my terry robe. “What,” I said, playing along half-heartedly. “Do you think I’m dirty?”

  He grinned. “I know you are,” he said, and he stepped forward, with one foot out of the shower, and undid the belt of my robe. I let him. I let him undo the belt and push the robe off my shoulders to fall in a heap on the floor. He tugged on my hand and I stepped into the shower. He drew the curtain closed.

  The air was moist and warm as he drew me under the flow of the shower, pleasantly hot, and let it fall over both of us. It felt good and I found myself sighing in appreciation.

  He drew me closer to him, running his hands over my back and sides, and then leaned down and kissed my temple, down my cheek, jaw and then my lips. “Mmm,” his lips vibrated against mine. “So good,” he mumbled, holding my neck and running his tongue along my jaw.

  Despite myself, I felt a flare of desire go up in the pit of my stomach, raw and tender at the same time.

  “Oh,” it came out as a whine. “Oh—” I gasped as he ran his hands over my buttocks and held them, and then he closed his mouth over mine and kissed me gently, so gently that I moaned as his tongue caressed my own and an intense warmth started to pool in my groin. “Marcus,” I wrapped my arms around his neck and murmured into his ear, “say something nice to me.”

  “Oh, babes,” he said, kissing my forehead. “You make shower caps look sexy.”

  I was so surprised that I frowned at him for a good three seconds before realizing he was making a joke. I forced my lips into a smile and slapped his shoulder to admonish him.

  “Was that not good?” He muttered, still running his hands all over me. “What about this?” He held my neck and angled my ear toward his lips. “I bet your cock tastes just as good as it looks, like milk chocolate ice cream,” he licked my ear. “I want to taste it and find out if your come is made of sweet cream.”

  I groaned as my dick stiffened against his thigh. I gave in to him, relaxed into his embrace. I would let him do what he wanted, and maybe it would make me feel better.

  “Yes,” he murmured, kissing my ear. “You feel so good, babes. God, you’re hot. I’ve wanted to do this to you for so long,” he said, massaging my buttocks until I whimpered and thrust against him involuntarily.

  His arms moved behind me and I heard a plasticky click and a squeezing sound, and the scent of lemon oil infused the air. His hands ran over my back and the lemon scent got stronger.

  “I love this shower gel,” he muttered, running his hands across my shoulders and spreading thick white foam across my skin, over my chest, my arms, and then he knelt in front of me and ran his hands down one of my legs, then the other. He held my hips. “Get under the water,” he said. “And wash it off.”

  I obeyed, rinsing the parts of myself I could reach while he reached his arms up and helped, steadfastly ignoring my erection the entire time. I stood in front of the shower head, letting it fall on the back of my neck and cascade down my back.

  He was still kneeling in front of me, his knees spread, and I could see that he was hard now, too. He looked up at me, his fingers on my hips, and then pressed his mouth to my hip bone and mouthed down it along the faint V-shaped line of my pelvis.

  Suddenly I couldn’t breathe. I’d fantasized so many times about
having someone do this to me, it hardly seemed real now that it was actually happening.

  Maybe I was going to wake up. Maybe I was going to wake up and the past three days would all be a dream. Do I want to wake up? Would I take it back now, if I could?

  “I’m really, really good at this,” Marcus said, his voice husky with desire, as if he had swallowed a handful of gravel. He looked up at me, his eyes big and dark. “I’m going to swallow your cock, Anthony.”

  I bit my lip, trying not to betray how much his words were making the raw place inside me hot and needy. And then his lips closed over my penis and my eyes rolled back in my head. I stumbled backward, my legs going weak as his mouth sucked me in.

  My back was against the cold tiles and the metal faucets were sticking uncomfortably into my lower back, but I barely noticed. I looked down at him. He was staring up at me intently, his cheeks hollow. I couldn’t stop staring at him as he started moving his head down, down, down until his nose was touching my abdomen.

  I gasped as I felt the head of my cock hit something with a burst of pleasure.

  Oh Christ—oh, Holy mother of God—

  I was touching the back of his throat. That was what was pressing against and around my glans with such unbelievable pressure. I felt tightness contract around my cock and a groan burst from deep inside me. He had just swallowed.

  I reached my hands down into his hair and grabbed hold, and he held my hips harder and started moving his head faster, up and down. My hips started to thrust helplessly into his mouth and he wrapped his arms around my lower back, pulling me even deeper and I had never, never known it could be like this.

  He lifted my left leg and put it over his shoulder, holding my thigh tightly and now he could get even closer. I was barely standing and he seemed to be the only thing keeping me from falling.

  I felt as if I was going to slip out of my body and float up into a gauzy, gently glittering world of pastel colors where pegasus horses drifted past on the breeze and you could mainline pure sugar and live on the high for hours.

  Then I felt his fingers nudge my balls and massage them gently, and then go behind, and probe my taint. Oh, dear lord, save me— My hands flexed in his hair, gripping and then relaxing.

  When he started to moan, sending vibrations through me, I realized he was jerking himself off.

  I felt my toes curl as the orgasm built under his insistent mouth and fingers, so sweet, so unbearably sweet, and yet the rawness inside me gave it an edge of pain which made me cry out.

  I saw Damaris lying on her bed, surrounded by clothes, take off the silk shantung dress and with her bare hands, slowly rip it to shreds.

  “—Ma—ris—” I gasped, her name rising in me uncontrollably as I started to shake with orgasm. “D—Da—ah—ahh—” I shoved my hand into my mouth and bit down on her name with a scream-edged cry as I came into Marcus and the smooth muscles of his throat milked every last drop of pleasure from me and I collapsed against the wall of the shower and grabbed onto the tap for balance, sending a jet of scalding water right onto his bare skin.

  “Fuck!” He cried out, jumping up and turning the tap the other way, all the way to cold. “Fuck that burned!” He stood under the cold water, and I scurried out from under it.

  “Sorry!” I gasped, still trembling with the orgasm which had seemed to emanate through my entire body. “Sorry, Marcus.”

  “’S’okay,” he muttered, rubbing his chest under the cold water. “It was an accident, eh?”

  “Of—of course,” I stuttered, leaning against the tiles of the shower, and I saw it coming from afar. The tidal wave of shame rapidly approaching on the horizon. “Of course it was.”

  I shut the door of the cab behind me without saying a word to the driver. I didn’t feel as if I would ever speak again.

  It was almost one-thirty in the morning as I let myself into the building and squinted against the bright lights as I waited for the elevator.

  I had waited a whole hour after Marcus fell asleep to make sure he wasn’t going to wake back up again. After the shower he had wanted to cuddle on the couch and watch streaming shows and eat pasta that he made for both of us.

  Now I was almost home, and I couldn’t wait to get into my own bed. My clean, fresh, wholesome, untainted, comfortable bed. It seemed to take an age to walk the length of the hallway from the elevator to the front door, but when I tried the key, it didn’t open.

  Fuck.

  I closed my eyes, remembering how Damaris had turned all of the deadbolts earlier today when Machyl showed up. She must have done the same thing after I left. With a heavy heart, I rang the doorbell.

  I waited there, ringing it several times until, I heard the sound of bolts being undone inside. My instincts were correct—she had locked up after me. The door opened. “Hey,” she said, stepping back as she opened it to let me in. Her dark eyes looked concerned. “Are you okay?”

  I could barely look at her. “Yeah,” I said shortly, going inside and closing the door and starting to put all of the deadbolts on again before she had a chance to. It wasn’t really necessary. I never used the deadbolts. “Sorry to wake you.”

  “That’s okay,” she said. “I locked you out of your own house, I guess.”

  I couldn’t say anything more to her. I couldn’t even stand to be near her for another minute. I started walking toward my bedroom without another word.

  “Well, goodnight,” she said. Then, as I paused on the threshold of my bedroom, she said, “I—I need to stick around here till tomorrow afternoon. Is that okay?”

  I stood there looking at my bed, neatly made with freshly laundered and ironed sheets. I felt a strong desire rise up in me for her to have been lying about it all. I wanted her to have been playing with me, playing hard to get, trying to test my loyalty, test the strength of my affections. I don’t think we should have sex again. I wanted it to be not true.

  “’S fine,” I muttered. “You can stay here as long as you want. I already told you that, but you didn’t seem interested.”

  “Thanks, Anthony,” her even and clear voice came from behind me.

  I didn’t want to think about what might happen if I turned around. I didn’t want to know how I would react. I walked into my bedroom and shut the door behind me without a backward glance.

  I went into my bathroom and opened the cabinet, looking for the clear orange bottle with the white cap. I had taken this from my mother’s bedroom several months ago, before she left the country, and she didn’t seem to have noticed, because she had never called me out on it.

  I uncapped the bottle, shook out two pills and tossed them into my mouth, then scooped up some water from the faucet to wash it down. Then on second thought, I took out a third pill and swallowed that, too.

  I turned out the bathroom light and went back into the bedroom. I found PJs in the walk-in wardrobe and put them on in the near-darkness. I couldn’t face being naked right now.

  Then I crawled into bed and lay there, on my back, perfectly straight with my arms at my sides, until I felt the pills start to take effect, fuzzing up the edges of my mind, dragging my body down heavily and finally blacking me out into sleep.

  Respect

  Waking up was like swimming from the depths of a swimming pool toward the surface of the water, but it was a much deeper pool than was normal and the water was thick and hard to get through, more like a gel than a liquid.

  I blinked and my eyes opened. It was broad daylight and I was lying on my back. I sat up slowly and looked around, yawning deeply several times and wiping away the tears that came with the yawns.

  I decided to get up and go out for some breakfast. There was a new place two blocks down which I had spotted the other week. They had all these different kinds of overnight oats which looked really good.

  Then I would watch TV for a while before going down to House of Ellegrandé to help Brooklyn. He would probably need some help with something. Alterations or one of the new gowns he was working on
for the auditions. It was always peaceful sitting with him in the dressing room while he worked the sewing machine.

  And maybe, if I was lucky, Damaris would come down and we could have a talk… I hadn’t seen her in so long and I missed her so much…

  Wait.

  Oh…

  The last three days came crashing in on me like an A380 airliner falling out of the sky onto a city street. Like the helpless victims on the ground below, I wanted to run, wanted to hide, wanted to find a way to escape its path of destruction, but there was nowhere.

  Could I just stay here forever, and never leave this room again? Perhaps the best thing to do was to cut all ties, disappear and become a different person in another country. Or I could be injured now, terribly injured and end up in the hospital for a long time.

  Or maybe the first idea was better, and I should just be a shut-in, and have everything delivered to me in this room. I had water, I had a bathroom, I had internet—for entertainment only, all social media would all have to be deleted, of course. How long would the credit left on my card last?

  Fuck. That credit was gone. I had just almost maxed it out yesterday when I took Damaris to Krumpdorf’s— The silk shantung dress— Oh, for fuck’s sake, Anthony, why did you have to think about that?

  I closed my eyes again.

  Your stupidity is breathtaking. You couldn’t just stay asleep instead?

  Events were replaying in my mind, and there was nothing I could do to stop them from doing so. I put my hands over my face.

  Eat me. Eat me out.

  I’m really, really good at this. I’m going to swallow your cock, Anthony.

  I rolled over, face down, wrapping myself in the sheet like a cocoon. I didn’t think I even had any tears left in me. How could a dried-out husk shed liquid?

  Now there were two possible worst moments in my life. I could choose between them, or just enjoy them both for all eternity.

  First was the moment when Marcus was fucking me and I had realized how many times he must have done the exact same thing to the woman I loved.