Renegade

by Shannon Myers

  I leaned over and clutched my thighs as my breaths became labored. All those years that I’d spent angry over being yanked out of foster homes had been because of this deep-seated fear she had of me being raped. It was almost comical because the night that Josué rescued me, I was seconds away from it.

  She placed her hands on my back and rubbed, speaking softly. “It’s okay. Deep breaths.”

  When my breathing became normal again I stood back up and she immediately pulled me into a hug, apologizing over and over.

  So, it had been temporary, but knowing she had forced herself to get clean in order to retain custody had me suddenly rethinking everything I’d believed about her for years.

  She led me out of the bathroom and right through the front door of the coffee shop. “Do you want to walk with me for a minute?”

  I clutched my rolling stomach, but gave her a small nod. We walked a couple of blocks over to a small park. She found us a park bench and helped me onto it.

  I could hear the kids playing at the elementary school across the street; kids who were probably conceived in love. Dizziness washed over me and I put my head down by my knees until it passed. As I slowly sat up again, I asked, “Is that why you turned to drugs? Because of him?”

  Monica exhaled softly and stared off into the distance. “Initially, yes. After you were born, I had this recurring nightmare of him breaking into the apartment. In it, he’d always start by abusing me until he’d hear you cry out from your bassinet and then he’d turn toward you with this awful grin on his face. The dreams had gotten so bad that I could barely function during the day. Every little sound made me jump.”

  I couldn’t imagine. I still had nightmares from time to time of the men who broke into the duplex, but it had never been a daily thing.

  She continued, “When I told my girlfriend, she put me in touch with a guy who dealt. When I was using, it was like I was floating. My brain didn’t replay the abuse and I didn’t see his face. I felt like I was invincible. I wasn’t a sleep-deprived new mother anymore either. The first time I snorted coke, I stayed up all night cleaning the apartment. I scrubbed the baseboards until my hands were raw. You’d wake up every three hours and I’d make you a bottle. Once you were asleep, I’d go right back to cleaning. I felt like I’d found a miracle drug. I could keep up with you and housework while not being forced to relive the abuse.”

  She stopped talking and I looked away from the swings and over to her. Her lip quivered.

  “It didn’t stay like that, did it?”

  She shook her head. “No, at first I’d use once a week, but then I noticed that I didn’t have as much energy, so I’d use a little more. When the cocaine failed, I switched to meth—was told it would give me a better high. From there it was like a wildfire—it started off small and manageable and just turned into this monster that consumed everything within me.”

  Sounded like me and Mike.

  The thought startled me. I’d told myself that he was a player and planned to just dip my toes in. Instead, I’d run down the end of a long pier and jumped in headfirst. Now, he occupied most of my thoughts.

  Was I being consumed by him?

  I’d spent most of the morning feeling guilty. I hadn’t exactly told him about my coffee date—he had enough going on at the moment. A Victoria’s Secret model had come to Lubbock to meet with friends and then just disappeared without a trace. Mike had been assigned her case and his every waking moment had been spent at the station or out interviewing potential witnesses.

  I convinced myself that I didn’t tell him because I was just trying to be a conscientious girl…friend. Friend who happened to be a girl. Were terms like ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ even used after high school?

  How had we spent two months together without me knowing what we were?

  Plus, what cop wants to hear about his person meeting up with her ex-junkie of a mother? Mike had seemed horrified when I told him about her after nearly burning down his kitchen. If he knew I were here, who knew how he’d react.

  I reached over and took Monica’s hand in mine. “Okay.”

  She gave me a puzzled look, so I elaborated. “Okay. Let’s try this. Let’s give this whole relationship thing a try.”

  Her eyes welled up again and she squeezed my fingers. “Thank you.”

  The bitterness and anger I’d held onto for too long gave way to something foreign—hope.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Late August 2014

  I couldn’t remember the last time that I slept a full eight hours, uninterrupted.

  I rubbed my eyes wearily and took a sip of lukewarm coffee before going back to staring at my computer screen. I was quickly turning into the stereotypical cop—eating the majority of my meals out of a bag and spending the night at the station in front of my desk. When I wasn’t parked in my chair, I was revisiting the places where a missing Victoria’s Secret model was last seen. Ekaterina “Katya” Egorichev simply walked out of her hotel room one day and disappeared off the face of the earth.

  I was missing something with this case. I just didn't know what.

  On top of that, the department had rounded up ten Sons of Death members, but they were like a hydra. It didn't matter how many heads I cut off, three more grew back.

  I was also missing the hell out of Lauren. I hadn't seen her, but for brief periods where our work schedules didn't overlap. I picked up my desk phone and dialed her direct line.

  “Good Morning, Mulloy Dental, this is Lauren.”

  Days and nights had all begun to blend together inside these cinderblock walls, but hearing her voice made me light up like the fucking sun. “Hey, Red. Tell me something good.”

  “Hey yourself, Tex. Good news...Good news... I got it. On this day in 1939, they televised a Major-League baseball game for the first time. I'm not sure that falls under ‘good,’ but it’s definitely noteworthy considering how much you love the sport.”

  She was so damn cute.

  “I’ll take it. How’s work?”

  She lowered her voice, “Fine, I guess. How’s it going with the thing?"

  Somewhere along the way, she’d gotten it in her head that we had to speak in code when referring to cases.

  I sighed and massaged the back of my neck. Every part of me hurt and longed for my bed. “Honestly, I’m exhausted. I just want a real meal...and you.”

  She groaned, “Don’t tell me that while I’m at work. I’m going to have to go home at lunch and take care of this situation now. Any chance you can break away from the office for thirty minutes and give me a hand?”

  Fuck.

  I wanted to grab my keys and drive over to her office right now. I couldn’t do it though. Katya’s father was scheduled to come in for questioning. I couldn’t discount anything at this point. I’d even gone as far as dragging David and Elizabeth down to the station. That had piqued my interest because, according to her, Landon and Katya had broken up.

  I thought it was the break I’d been looking for...until I brought Landon back in for questioning. I’d expected him to slip up in his story, but he stuck with it.

  “I can only speak for my own relationship and no one else’s, but I was happy. I’d fucked up royally, but she was still willing to take me back. We’d gone to counseling and—” He’d pulled a ring box from his pocket, “I was planning on proposing at dinner that night. I know she didn't change her mind and I won't stop until we find her.”

  Perps that were guilty would almost always give themselves away. They’d change up their story or show little to no emotion. Landon wasn’t like that though. He’d been the one to report her missing, after speaking with her father, when she didn’t meet him for dinner.

  I’d gone downtown to the restaurant in question and their security footage confirmed his story. He’d sat in a corner booth for over an hour, constantly checking his phone and watch. The ring box sat clearly visible on the table. He told us that after multiple text messages, he placed two calls to
Katya’s cell phone from the restaurant. It was all caught on camera.

  “Did you fall asleep?” Lauren’s soft voice brought me back to the present.

  “No, just got a lot going on right now, Darlin’. Listen, I can’t meet you for lunch as much as I wish I could. I’ll be stuck here working this case. Will you be up late tonight?”

  She was quiet and I worried that I’d upset her until she said, “Um, I might be up for a little while. Just text me. And, Mike? I get it. Go save the world.”

  I smiled. “And that’s why I love you—” I froze the minute the words left my mouth. What the fuck had I just said? “ListenI’vegottotakecareofsomestuffherebye.” The words all ran together and I hung up before she could respond. Then I laid my forehead against the cool wood of my desk in shame. I was so fucking sleep deprived that I just told her I loved her.

  What if she started expecting things—like to move in with me?

  Or, Jesus Christ, get married?

  I pinched the bridge of my nose and inhaled deeply.

  My desk phone beeped, before a voice said, “Detective Sullivan, Nikolay Egorichev is here to see you.”

  I sat back and rubbed my eyes. “Go ahead and get him in a room.”

  According to Mr. Egorichev, Katya had come to Lubbock to see her on and off boyfriend, Landon Scott. David had been convinced that he was the one who’d broken into their home and now the guy’s name was coming up in a possible kidnapping?

  It was a fucked-up case.

  After the break-in, I’d met with Landon, but he was squeaky clean. When I questioned him the second time, regarding Ms. Egorichev’s disappearance, he been distraught, but completely willing to help us in any way. He’d given us permission to search his vehicle and house, without waiting for the warrant. He was the same the third time we sat down.

  It didn’t fit for him having anything to do with her disappearance.

  We searched his house and SUV, but came up empty. His prints were everywhere, but there had been absolutely nothing that pointed to Katya having been with him. My next stop had been her hotel room. Her car was still parked outside, but a sweep of that had yielded nothing.

  Her room had been a different story. All of her personal belongings were scattered around, as if she’d stepped out for a few hours and planned on coming back. We dusted for prints and only found hers. Just as I was ready to call it a bust, one of the investigators found a spot of blood near the rim of the sink in the bathroom. It was with the lab and now we just had to wait.

  Up until we found the blood, I’d been considering the possibility that Katya may have suffered from a mental disorder. Hell, maybe she’d disappeared willingly. Landon had admitted to the affair with Elizabeth and alluded to Katya being devastated by the news.

  “I wanted to be honest with her so we could start over. The long-distance relationship was hard and her modeling schedule didn’t give her a lot of free-time. It was a horrible mistake. Katya obviously didn’t take the news well, but she’d agreed to try and work it out. I thought that she was still mad when she didn’t show up for dinner, but now I’ve got a bad feeling about the whole thing. It’s just not like her.”

  It was obvious that he wasn’t trying to hide anything, which put me back at square one for finding a suspect. She was a model so it could’ve been something as simple as a crime of opportunity—someone saw her and acted.

  My office door was opened and Noelle, one of the investigators, popped her head in. “He’s in room one, Mike. We’re ready when you are.”

  I was still hung up on the fact that I used the L word and was seconds away from getting the fuck out of Dodge. I nodded at her and let my gaze drift down toward her tits. I gave her a half grin. “Noelle, you sticking around for a while?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, about that. I don't make the same mistake twice. So, and I mean this with all the respect in the world—fuck off, Sullivan.”

  She slammed the door on her way out and I put my head back in my hands, trying to remember.

  Aw, fuck me.

  Christmas party. Three years ago.

  What would I have said if she was receptive?

  I needed to clear my head—scratch that, I needed sleep.

  I got up and headed into the interrogation room. After that dickhead move, this was going to be fun.

  It was a little after twelve-thirty in the morning when I finally pulled into my driveway. Nothing was getting solved tonight and after spending the majority of the last two weeks up at the station, I needed a fucking break.

  The navy-blue Toyota parked in my driveway had me second guessing that decision.

  Shit.

  I’d been avoiding her since yesterday morning. Eventually, we were going to have to sit down and have a conversation where I told her that I hadn’t meant it. I’d hoped that it would’ve taken place after I’d had more than a couple hours of sleep, but it wasn’t looking good for me.

  When had I given her a key? I wondered as I stepped out of my truck and walked up the front porch steps. Jesus, this was why I lived out in the country—to get away from people.

  Now, when I wanted nothing more than a hot shower and my bed, I was going to have to tell Lauren that I wasn’t in love with her. She was going to get mad and we were going to have this huge ass fight before deciding never to see each other again.

  I slipped the key in the lock and opened the door to darkness.

  Okay.

  I peeked into the living room, but it was empty. Same with the kitchen. After a swift check of all the downstairs rooms turned up nothing, I pulled my Glock from the back of my pants. Something didn’t feel right.

  What if the Sons of Death had shown up while I was gone?

  I crept up the stairs with my heart hammering in my chest. The bathroom and two spare bedrooms were empty so, with a sinking feeling in my stomach, I walked into the master bedroom and there she was.

  Handcuffed to my headboard. In her bra and nothing else. She looked unresponsive and a part of me was still on edge, thinking someone did this to her. The other part of me was at twelve o’clock and ready to party.

  “Red?” I questioned and her eyes opened slowly.

  “Hey, I guess I fell asleep. What time is it?”

  I set my gun down. “It’s late. What are you—what do you have going on here?”

  Lauren’s teeth rested on her lower lip and she gave me a shy smile. “I told you that I needed a hand. You couldn’t come to me, so I came to you.”

  Oh, she was going to be coming for me.

  I loosened my tie and tossed it on the floor. My shirt and slacks followed. She watched me with a hungry look and I took my time sliding my boxer briefs down.

  Her teeth sank into her lip a little more and I knew she was ready for me. “You planning on taking all night, Tex? I’ve still gotta drive home after this and somehow make myself presentable to be at work by seven.”

  I kicked them off and climbed across the comforter to her. “Your pussy getting lonely, Darlin’?” I was rewarded with her entire torso turning red. “I’ll take that as a yes. You need this?”

  I pushed a finger into her wetness and she moaned softly, her eyes fluttering shut. “No, no, no. Keep those green eyes on me. You don’t wanna miss anything. Now, what about this?” I added another finger and her eyes widened. “I can’t hear you.”

  She nodded shakily and pushed against me. “Y-yes.”

  I fucked her lazily with my hand, as if we had all the time in the world. It wasn’t what I wanted, but I hadn’t been with her in what felt like an eternity. I wanted to make up for lost time by giving her more than five minutes of pleasure.

  There it was again. I was putting her needs first.

  Frustration gripped me and I thrust my fingers deeper, taking it out on her pussy. The cuffs rattled against the head board and by the way she was clenching around me, I knew she was close. I leaned down to let my tongue flick against her and that was all she wrote.

  Lauren’s w
hole body shuddered against my hand as she began crying out words of nonsense. I pulled my hand free and sucked my fingers clean as she groaned. She tasted fucking delicious. I leaned across her and pulled a condom from the nightstand.

  She watched me with a drunk expression on her face and I couldn’t help myself, I leaned down and pressed a rough kiss to her neck before lightly taking her earlobe between my teeth.

  She responded by lifting her hips up toward me, pussy glistening from my mouth and her orgasm. The only thing that would’ve made it better was if she’d taken her bra off. I wanted to remember her like this. Spread out before me, just begging to be fucked.

  Good god almighty, what was she doing to me?

  After double checking that I was good safety-wise, I pushed into her and her mouth fell open in that familiar silent scream and I could’ve come right then and there. I pushed into her until I couldn’t go any further and her half-lidded eyes looked up at me with reverence. “God, you’re so good at this,” she whispered.

  I’d gotten used to her hands digging into my back and shoulders, but the cuffs kept her at bay. It was by far the hottest sex we’d had yet. I angled her hips and began fucking her, knowing she’d come within seconds. She didn’t disappoint. Her body began pushing back against mine at the same tempo, so I used my hips to speed up. She met me thrust for motherfucking thrust until her breathing stopped.

  She ground against me and then released a small moan as her body flooded around me. “Oh, fuck.”

  I was ready to explode just from watching her, but I tried slowing it down. Her pussy greedily gripped my cock like a fucking vice. I couldn’t have pulled out even if I wanted to. Her mouth hung open in ecstasy and I came loudly with a death grip on her hips.