Triquetra

by Marguerite Labbe

“He needs me.” I knew that with absolute certainty, and it went far beyond what I gave him in Kristair’s little hoodoo exchange. He was the loneliest man I’d ever met.

  “He’s using you, Jake.”

  I shook my head. “No! You don’t know him.”

  “And I don’t plan to, either,” Steve retorted. “He gave me the creeps even before he attacked us last night.”

  “What do you want me to say? I’m sorry it happened. More sorry than I can say.” I was miserable. I had no idea what I could do to make this right. “I know Kristair, and I know he didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “Jake, if you hadn’t called 911 I’d be dead.” Steve’s voice was grim. “Hell, if Tony hadn’t interrupted, you probably would be too.”

  I felt Kristair’s presence and it washed over me like a balm, soothing away the jagged edges. I half-turned in my seat, glancing back at the man in the doorway. He was a stranger to me in appearance, yet I knew without a shadow of a doubt, it was Kristair.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” Steve snarled.

  Chapter 21

  THAT JACOB saw through my disguise surprised me not at all, but that his friend did as well was more startling. Jacob was hurting and I hated seeing it, and even more knowing I was responsible. I walked into the small hospital room and laid my hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently as my lover turned to look at Steve in surprise.

  “How did you know it was him?” Jacob asked, reaching up with his hand to cover mine.

  Steve continued to glare at me, an expression of disgust crossing his face as he spoke. “It’s the way he looks at you, like he owns you.” If he had the strength, I was sure he would’ve risen from his bed to strike at me. He was quite a fighter, I’d give him that.

  “He is mine,” I replied, watching Steve bristle in response. Even Jacob was indignant, but he was always one to take umbrage at someone else’s possessiveness. He had no room to talk. “Just as I am yours, mo chroí.” Jacob smiled, his irritation fading as quickly as it had started, as I had known it would.

  “Kristair, stop baiting him.” Jacob tipped his head back to look up at me, his gaze stern. “He’s got reason enough for being pissed.”

  “True.” I was not in the habit of apologizing to those from whom I fed, and studying Steve, I didn’t think he would be a very receptive one. However, Jacob wished me to try, though he didn’t ask.

  I hesitated, mulling my words before speaking. “It is not usually my practice to take without permission.” As I fed off a person’s emotions, as much as their blood, their mental state was important to me; Jacob’s sweet offering had been infinitely more satisfying than Tony’s horror or Steve’s rage as he fought. “Circumstances were extenuating. I’m sorry for the ordeal you suffered.” I glanced down at Jacob to see if that sufficed.

  “Give me a fucking break,” Steve replied, his eyes hard. “You’re manipulating him.”

  “I admit I was guilty of that in the beginning.” Manipulation had become such a second nature to me that I often did it without thought. I smiled at Jacob before turning my attention back to my adversary. “The situation has changed somewhat since then.”

  “I manipulated him too,” Jacob broke in. “It was a game at first, for both of us. Kristair’s right; things have changed.”

  Steve ignored him, his stare challenging. “You’re using him.”

  I nodded. “That I am.”

  “Look at him, Jake! Dammit, see how calm he is. He admits it. He isn’t lying. I don’t get it. What the fuck do you see in him?”

  “I’m not being used if I agreed!” Jacob sounded frustrated and I squeezed his shoulder again. “Kristair loves me. I know you can’t understand that, but it’s true.”

  A cynical smile crossed Steve’s lips, an expression that spoke volumes of what he actually thought about that pronouncement. “Do you?”

  My calm vanished in a wave of fury. Steve expected me to deny it. I had no intention of baring my tumultuous emotions to this child. While I applauded his fighter instincts and respected his desire to protect Jacob even more, I was done with this ridiculous conversation.

  “He seems to be under that impression,” I replied through clenched teeth. I sensed the quick slice of hurt cut through Jacob before he covered it up and my rage whipped through me again.

  I glared at Steve and had the satisfaction of watching him shrink back before he caught himself. “Let me say this, and know it for the truth, Steven. I would not willingly put Jacob in danger, or you; you’re his friend. Take it as you will.”

  “Forgive me if I find that a little hard to believe considering I’m still in the damned hospital.”

  “You’re alive. If I wanted to kill you I would have.” I considered offering to erase his memory, but he’d refuse. And Jacob would be against me doing it without his permission. Our ongoing argument was upsetting my lover enough as it was and I wasn’t about to add to it.

  “That makes me feel sooo much safer,” Steve snarked, and Jacob tensed.

  “This conversation is pointless. You’re going to believe what you’re going to believe and I’m going to do what I have to.” I looked down at Jacob, dismissing Steve. “I’ll be waiting in the hall whenever you’re ready.” He nodded and I resisted the urge to give him a possessive kiss. The room was silent as I exited, but as soon as I shut the door, furious voices erupted from the other side.

  I walked a couple of steps away to give them the privacy Jacob wanted, though I kept our connection open enough to judge his emotional state. If he got too upset, I was going to interfere again. The situation was a knotted mess, with The Syndicate pulling the rope tighter on one end and Jacob’s roommates doing the same on the other.

  After about twenty minutes, Jacob emerged shrugging into his coat. He glared at me, jamming on his hat, and shoved his hands into his pockets. I wanted to take his hand, but his stance shouted “don’t touch me.” So, I fell into step beside him as he stalked down the hallway, trying to figure out how to broach the issue I wanted to discuss with him. In his current mood, he wasn’t likely to take it well.

  “Did you want to stop by and see Kayla?” He stopped in front of the elevator, stabbing the call button.

  I shook my head. “She’s fine for now.” I had to talk with her too and she was going to take my decision about as well as Jacob.

  He glowered as he stepped onto the elevator. “I’m surprised you cared enough to check in on her.”

  I followed him in, silent until the doors shut. “You know I do,” I said, trying to discern where he was going with his attack. He had learned, rather well I’m afraid, how to put up a mental shield. “I’m not entirely insensitive.”

  “You could’ve fooled me,” he snarled, exiting the elevator and making a beeline for the door.

  I scratched my temple, watching him before hurrying after. I must’ve wounded him deeper than I thought I had. Silently, I cursed myself as I caught up with him. As I took his hand, he rounded on me, jerking it back.

  “So what is it you’re going to order me to do now?” Jacob’s jaw was set and he had clenched his fists before burying them in his coat again. Well, at least he wasn’t taking a swing at me.

  My tongue froze, his question catching me off guard. I had expected him to call me out for what I had said to his friend. I had to admit I did feel some remorse for the way I had handled it and how I had hurt him. I hated feeling like I was being pushed into a box. Or, if he wasn’t going to take me to task for the way I antagonized Steve, at the very least, I had expected him to start in on how his roommates had gotten hurt in the first place. However, Jacob seemed ready to pick at the one topic I knew was going to be a sore point with us.

  “I don’t think we should talk about it here.” I scanned the parking lot. Anybody could overhear us. Besides, I wanted to be alone so I could hold him, and soothe his ire, especially when I knew I was going to be fueling it some more.

  “I guess you’re forgetting about the oth
er tricks available to us.” He started walking up the hill toward his apartment building. “Just spill it, Kristair. I’m not giving you the chance to cozy up to me and charm me into doing whatever you want.”

  Somehow, I resisted the urge to snipe back at him. Using charm was Jacob’s forte, not mine. He was spoiling for a fight and I debated whether or not to go ahead and give it to him. It would give him a chance to vent some of his anger. My stomach tightened. I hated arguments. I eyed him sideways before speaking again, deciding to come out with it. “I don’t know how, but the Syndicate knows of your existence.”

  Jacob stopped on the sidewalk and as he turned to study me some of the anger in his eyes was replaced with worry. “Christ.”

  “They had been keeping tabs on me closer than I realized. I don’t think they know what you mean to me yet, but I don’t want to take that chance either.” I continued laying my hands on his shoulders. I needed to know he was safe. If anything happened to him…. I shook my head.

  “How do you know? Do you know for certain?”

  “Yes, I know for certain. I overheard them talking about you.” I wasn’t sure if that woman had passed the knowledge along to anyone else before Ussier and I had wiped out the cell, but it was entirely plausible she did. If one knew, then there was a good chance others did too.

  Jacob shook his head, looking away, his expression uneasy. “I know you, Kristair… I know you. You took care of those guys.” His voice was troubled as well and when he met my gaze again, his eyes were bleak. “You’re not the kind of person to let a threat like that go. And you wanted revenge for what happened to Kayla.”

  “A friend of mine and I handled things. But I want to be absolutely positive you and Kayla aren’t in any more danger.” I hesitated, bracing myself for the explosion. “It shouldn’t be for very long… a couple of weeks at the most….”

  His eyes flashed blue fire. “Don’t you dare even think about sending me away.”

  I had to admit the thought had crossed my mind. He would be safe with his family in Louisiana. Yet, as soon as I came up with the idea, I had tossed it away as useless. The only way I could get Jacob to go was to force him and I couldn’t do that to him. Not to mention that he’d probably make such a ruckus about it, he’d bring everyone down on us.

  Jacob pulled out of my grasp, taking a step backward. “God dammit, you were thinking of doing that,” he accused.

  “Jacob, I’m not asking you to leave,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm in the face of his anger.

  “Then what do you want?” His fists came out of his pockets to hang by his side and his jaw squared.

  “I’ve got a place set up, with some friends. You and Kayla will be safe there until this thing blows over.” Personally, I thought it was an imminently reasonable plan.

  “No,” he replied shortly, turning on his heel and heading back toward his apartment.

  I stared after him in some surprise, and then ran after him, grabbing his arm and turning him around to face me. “This isn’t some kind of game,” I snarled, my own anger stirring. “They are going to use everything, everyone, to get to me and right now you’re at the top of their list.”

  “I thought you’d already taken care of it.” Jacob gave my hand a cold glance. “Let go of me.”

  Reluctantly, I did so, ready to grab him again if he tried to leave. “I can’t be sure they hadn’t already told the others. It won’t be for long, Jacob. You’ll still be able to go to school and work. You’ll still be in the city.”

  “You can’t guarantee that. You can’t look me in the eye and promise me it would only be for a couple of nights. You don’t even know how many vampires are involved.” He took a couple of steps away, making a sound of extreme frustration, then turned back, evading my grasp. “Did you give my friends any thought? What happens if they come looking for me and don’t find me? What happens to Tony and Steve? They’re gonna be in just as much danger, and you want me to turn my back on them? Fuck that. They’ve been through enough shit as it is already cuz of me.”

  I glanced around to see if our argument was attracting any attention, but the street was dark and free of people. I took a step closer, frustration sparking my temper more. “I don’t care about them. I care about you. You’re going.”

  “I ain’t yer damned kid, Kristair!” Jacob shouted.

  “Where did that come from?” I looked at him, baffled. “I never said you were.”

  “Yah treat me like Ah am.” He took another step back, shaking his head. “It’s all fucked up. Everything’s turned upside down, changed. We don’t have a relationship. At least not the kind I want. You don’t need me.”

  “That’s not true,” I started to protest, but he just tightened his lips and held up his hand. He turned his back on me, shoving me out of his mind at the same time.

  “Just go away, okay? And I’m supposed to tell you that you’re not allowed back at the apartment anyway.”

  “Jacob.”

  He didn’t answer. Stunned, I watched him stalk away. He fumbled with the door and then disappeared into the building. I heard the door slam behind him with an awful sound of finality. He didn’t really mean all that, did he? My mind spun, trying to process our conversation. I tried reaching out for him mentally and all I found was a dark wall. It would’ve been an easy matter for me to knock it down, but if I did, I might never be able to repair the damage between us.

  I moved into the alleyway, looking up at the dark window of Jacob’s bedroom. Damn, this scenario was familiar. There was something eating at him beyond my wish for him to leave, far beyond the words I’d said that had hurt him, but I couldn’t wrap my mind around whatever it was.

  The light in his room came on and a few moments later Jacob came to the window, staring down at me. For several minutes, we studied each other. Tentatively, I reached out with my mind to brush against his thoughts. For a moment, I thought he reached back out to me, but then he turned around, disappearing from view.

  I scrubbed my hand over my scalp, at a loss for what to do. My chest ached as I contemplated the sudden gulf between us. And what made the whole thing even worse was not knowing whether or not he was going to be out of harm’s way.

  Chapter 22

  I TURNED away from the window before Kristair’s pull could lure me to go to him. I went into the kitchen, where Tony was throwing together some sandwiches. “Want some soup to go with that?” I asked, opening the cupboard near the fridge and pulling out a can of tomato soup. I was really in need of some comfort food.

  “Sure.” Tony moved to the side to give me enough room to work at the stove.

  I eyed him, wrestling with my conscious. Did it really matter if Tony never knew who his attacker was? I didn’t want to try to defend Kristair again, especially when I knew he’d believe me about as much as Steve did. Besides, I knew it was never gonna happen again. Still, it felt too much like lying.

  “How are you?” I asked, pouring the soup into the saucepan and turning the stove on.

  “Better,” Tony replied. “Did you see Steve?”

  Tony did look better, and was certainly less scared. Steve must’ve reassured him, though I was surprised he hadn’t told him the truth. Maybe he was waiting for me to do it. My conscious squirmed again. Dammit.

  “Yeah.” I concentrated on stirring the soup so it wouldn’t burn. “They’ll probably let him come home in a few days.” I hoped.

  No, I couldn’t tell him. He was scared enough as it was and if I were to tell him that vampires existed, he’d never believe he was safe again. Now, if I could just convince Steve that keeping his mouth shut was a good idea. I sighed. He’d probably think Kristair made me do it. For a moment, I was overcome with the desire to see him again, to let him hold me. Everything made more sense when we were naked in bed together. Only, right now that’s where the danger lay. I wanted him too much.

  “Just in time for the school to reopen. Lucky Steve.” Tony grabbed some paper plates and laid the sandwic
hes on them, adding some chips. He glanced at me and I couldn’t help but see the faint shadows in his eyes, overriding his usual good humor. “Do you think…?” He stopped as if unsure whether or not he should say it.

  “Go on,” I replied, getting out the bowls and pouring the soup into them.

  “Do you think it’ll come back?” He shrugged, picking up the plates and carrying them to the rickety table in the corner. “I mean, Steve doesn’t seem to think so but… I don’t know. I just want to be prepared, that’s all.”

  I grabbed a couple of beers, and then balanced the bowls, carrying them to the table as well. “No, I don’t,” I said firmly, trying to offer what reassurance I could. “It was probably just some whacko looking for money or drugs. I don’t think he’d want to meet Steve or his baseball bat again.”

  I thought of how I left Kristair below watching me and wondered how long it was going to be before he ignored what I said and came in after me. Or, if he would even try. Lord knew, if the situation were reversed, I wouldn’t have let him walk away like that, and he had already proved he had no problem with walking in here uninvited.

  My anger disappeared, leaving me depressed. I knew Kristair did have feelings for me. I felt it every time we were connected, sometimes more than others, like when we were screwing. But maybe he had been telling the truth. Maybe he couldn’t be in love with me, not like I was with him. We were so different. He was a vampire, several thousands of years old, and I was just a college kid, more interested in football than anything else. Yet, he cared for me. He needed me. But wouldn’t somebody else be able to be his vessel for him?

  I realized Tony was speaking and gave him a distracted smile. “I’m sorry. My mind was somewhere else.” Yeah, with a creature that was walking the streets of Pittsburgh, doing God knew what.

  “Obviously.” Tony sat back and tossed his crumpled napkin onto his plate. “Well, if you and Steve refuse to be worried, then I won’t be either.” He got up, leaving his dishes and empty beer bottle on the table. “I’m going over to a party at the towers. Wanna come?”