Safe With Me

by K. L. Slater

  ‘That’s just not fair,’ Amanda said, fighting back tears.

  Who had been talking about her behind her back?

  She glanced out of the glass side panel of the office and saw Sarah looking over.

  ‘I totally dispute what you’re saying; I’ve tried not to let the accident affect my job but it has been hard.’

  ‘I understand,’ Carol agreed. ‘Which is why I suggested you might not want to rush back to work when you did.’

  Amanda folded her arms and glowered.

  ‘We can’t follow up on this complaint because there are no further details. Just take this as an informal chat. It’s in your own interests to try and up your game from this point forward.’

  ‘But what they said isn’t true,’ Amanda protested, not wanting to move until Carol believed she was innocent. ‘Someone has obviously got it in for me; they’re trying to make trouble.’

  A flicker of impatience crossed Carol’s face.

  ‘I haven’t got time to endlessly debate this,’ she said firmly. ‘Let’s just agree you’re going to buckle back down and focus properly on your role again. I have to say, I don’t think you should be considering applying for the lead TA position at this point in time.’

  Amanda found herself dismissed and drifted out of Carol’s office like a zombie. Her heart bumped painfully against her chest, her breathing suddenly rapid and shallow.

  She searched frantically in her head for a reason someone might complain about her. Perhaps the parent had got the wrong member of staff, surely that was possible? But no, according to Carol they had used her full name.

  Maybe she had been a bit distracted with some of the parents.

  The car accident had affected her, brought back horrible memories. . . but she definitely hadn’t taken a call mid-conversation with a parent. That, she was certain of.

  ‘How’d it go?’ Sarah squeaked when she got back.

  She snatched up her handbag and walked out without replying. She badly needed a break and some fresh air.

  * * *

  Somehow, Amanda managed to get through the afternoon.

  When she returned from her short walk, she told Sarah straight that she didn’t want to discuss her conversation with Carol. To her credit Sarah backed off and left her alone for the rest of the day.

  The worst part was this new nervy feeling about who she could really trust. For all she knew, a colleague could have anonymously contacted Mansfield HQ and made an untrue complaint about her, simply to scupper her chances of getting the lead TA job.

  But walking to the bus stop after work, she found herself turning around a couple of times for no other reason than a creeping sickness in the pit of her stomach.

  Quietly, her brain had made a very faint link between the feeling someone was watching her and the fact that somebody was trying to cause trouble for her at work.

  She scanned the pavement behind her and over the road but couldn’t see anyone.

  There had been two or three instances where she had almost seen something, mad as it sounded. You can’t almost see anything: you either do or you don’t, right? And yet that was the only way she could really describe it.

  And there were the calls to consider. Numerous, silent calls where she couldn’t hear anything at all but could feel the animosity trickling down the line.

  Ten minutes later, she got off the bus and walked down the street. She felt OK now; maybe it was just a touch of anxiety through the stress at work today but then, as she turned into the driveway, she caught movement across the road out of the corner of her eye.

  When she looked up there was nothing, nobody there at all.

  At first she was convinced someone had dashed behind a parked car to avoid being spotted, so she waited for a minute or two at the gate but no one reappeared.

  When she got inside the house, she had a cup of tea and a chat with her mum. She didn’t mention anything about her concerns, and her mum was on the late shift so she’d have an early night.

  Amanda texted Liam and said she was feeling unwell. She couldn’t face having to go over there and act all upbeat.

  He tried to ring her back but she ignored the call.

  She couldn’t face going out tonight. She longed for a relaxing bath and to catch up on the last couple of days’ soaps on TV.

  That would take her mind off things.

  Two hours later, up in her bedroom, she’d almost forgotten about being creeped out earlier. Until she turned to close the curtains and saw that same infuriatingly quick movement just out of her visual range.

  She turned the bedside lamps off and peered out of the window, scrutinising the churchyard and the path that ran parallel to the road. There were lots of trees and bushes and places to dash behind if someone wanted to remain hidden.

  She closed the curtains but left a tiny gap through which she could stand and watch if the mood took her.

  She really was starting to wonder if she was imagining things. After all, who would want to spy on or follow her?

  Chapter 66

  The next day, Amanda signed out and left work a full hour early. Headed for the bus stop, her eyes were stinging with humiliation and disbelief.

  On her way out she’d had to endure people staring at her, whispering together and then studying the ceiling or the floor intently whenever she walked past.

  She had shown some prospective parents around the facilities first thing and they had signed up their twin daughters there and then, which was a result that even brought a smile to Carol’s face.

  Amanda had managed finally to get the outdoor activity space reorganised, and instead of sitting in a quiet corner at morning break to read like she usually did, she joined the others and listened to some of the girls talking about a new bar in town they were going to, agreeing to join them for a drink later in the week.

  But on her afternoon break, she popped upstairs to the small kitchen to find a tight huddle of people, including Sarah, and Pete Tooley, the maintenance man, talking in low voices over in the corner.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ She craned over their heads to see what all the fuss was about.

  Faces registered panic as she approached and the group fell apart, several people exiting the room in record time.

  ‘I was just coming down to show you,’ stammered Sarah, slapping down an A4 sheet on the table. ‘It was stuck on the side door, and I didn’t want Carol to see it before you knew.’

  Amanda picked up the home-made A4 poster with the headline:

  ‘CHILD KILLER WORKS AT BUSY BEES NURSERY’

  Underneath the headline was a paragraph written reporter-style, claiming that Amanda Danson was the hit-and-run driver of a toddler that had been killed by a car in the town just before Christmas. Police had not been able to trace the driver or vehicle to date but were apparently now investigating her after this ‘second’ accident – again, giving full details.

  The bottom third of the poster was taken up with a grainy photocopied black-and-white image of her. She recognised the photograph immediately as being her profile picture from Facebook.

  ‘This isn’t true,’ she said, quietly, sitting down and laying a hand across her forehead. ‘It’s a load of rubbish.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Sarah said, suddenly a concerned friend again. ‘We’ll destroy this, no harm done.’

  ‘Somebody has got a hate campaign going against me.’

  It was the worst kind of campaign because it contained truth amongst the lies: the accident on Green Road. It seemed so much more plausible because of that.

  Suddenly, the staff room door flew open and Pete Tooley burst in again.

  ‘Amanda, you’d better come quickly.’ He struggled to speak, panting heavily from bounding up the stairs. ‘The posters are all over the High Street. Parents are bringing them in, and Carol is doing her fucking nut.’

  One of Carol Hartnell’s obsessions was keeping the profile of the branch squeaky clean in the local community.

  ‘Pe
ople will only leave their children with people they can trust,’ was her catchphrase.

  Before Amanda could get out of the building to begin tearing down the posters, Carol blocked her exit.

  ‘Perhaps you should go home early today,’ she said, her voice dangerously void of emotion. ‘I need to investigate exactly what has happened here and get back to you.’

  ‘Carol, it’s all lies. Someone has got it in for me, I swear—’

  ‘I’ll see you in my office tomorrow at two p.m. Feel free to bring someone with you.’

  So here Amanda was, an hour early out of work and waiting for the bus. Over the road from the bus stop, a quick movement caught her eye but, predictably, when she glanced up from her phone there was nothing to see. A sense of unease enveloped her. Who hated her enough to make up these lies?

  The fact that the poster had included the Green Road accident that she was involved in, together with a complete lie – the ‘awful truth’ that the police still didn’t know the identity of the hit-and-run driver of the vehicle that knocked over a little boy – implied she had something to do with a fabricated accident. But somehow it also helped to make her pleas of innocence seem empty.

  Since her chat with Carol a couple of days earlier, things had seemed to settle down a little at work. Amanda had kept her head down and got on with the job, and after each appointment, she’d made a point of asking every parent she spoke to if they were happy with the way she had answered their queries and dealt with them. The answer was always yes.

  She ended up confiding in Sarah yesterday that colleagues had apparently been whispering concerns to Carol about her but Sarah dismissed all that with a flap of her arm.

  ‘Everybody knows what a bitch Carol can be,’ she said. ‘Bet she’s just made that up to have a go at you.’

  But after all that, there was now today’s debacle to consider.

  Someone was out there who hated her so much they’d go to great lengths to destroy her any way they could.

  History was repeating itself.

  She knew the nursery couldn’t simply sack her because of a malicious poster; such accusations would have to be substantiated.

  Unfortunately, she felt sure Carol Hartnell was creative enough to come up with another valid reason – that carried some weight – to get rid of her before the nursery’s customers started to take a real interest in this very public hate campaign and wonder who was looking after their children.

  It was shocking how easy it was proving to be to bring about someone’s demise with no solid evidence at all.

  Thinking logically, Amanda had to consider why on earth anyone would want to spend valuable time watching and following her. She had probably got the least interesting life of anyone around here. For her, it was just work every day at the nursery and then straight home – or sometimes to Liam’s house – when she finished. There was nothing in between.

  A police officer had called round to the house last night to take a statement about the accident. She was stern and virtually accused Amanda of ignoring a previous letter, which she had never received.

  Amanda had felt her face flushing but managed to hold her nerve and answered all PC Cullen’s questions. She said the police had been given witness information that indicated Amanda may have been distracted immediately before colliding with Liam. But, of course, they wouldn’t divulge what proof they had.

  Then PC Cullen began asking rather weird and vague questions about Liam and why Amanda had made contact with him and his gran after the accident. Had she tried to pressure them in any way?

  That was a laugh: Liam had invited her over to the house.

  It was all for show, of course. They could think what the hell they liked, they had no proof that she’d done anything wrong at all. He’d appeared out of nowhere on his motorbike, and she had no time to stop.

  That was her story and she was damn well sticking to it.

  Chapter 67

  You might wonder why I do it, what I get out of it.

  Why plan and work so hard to get close to someone you loathe?

  Well, I’ll tell you.

  It’s the satisfaction.

  I have nothing. Nothing. So why should anyone else?

  People are so stupid. They surround themselves with material things because they believe those things matter. Things that make them feel ‘more than’ inside, things that make them feel their useless lives are worth something.

  Yet it’s that moment you take away the things they can’t replace that you see the light in their eyes die. In that beautiful split second, they realise what has really mattered all along.

  Trust. Love. Self-respect.

  And once I take them, I make sure they can never take them back.

  Chapter 68

  Anna

  Even though it’s a while since I took the sedatives, I know I shouldn’t really be driving yet.

  But I have no choice.

  I think about the safety checks but I don’t do any.

  When I have more time I will go back to the beginning and get everything straightened out again. I will sort out all the stuff that has got mixed up and in the wrong order in my head.

  When I get to Liam’s I haven’t even reached the back door before I hear raised voices coming from inside the house.

  ‘I’m not leaving, not before you tell me—’

  The door is slightly ajar, and I see Liam first and then Amanda standing at the bottom of the stairs, yelling. When I step inside Liam rushes forward quite deftly, and I notice with surprise he doesn’t need his crutches at all now.

  ‘Thank God you’re here, Anna.’ He puts his arms around me and whispers in my ear. ‘I’m trying to get rid of her but she won’t leave.’

  ‘Anna, I need to talk to you—’Amanda begins.

  ‘I think it’s time for you to go,’ I snap, and Liam steps back from me to glare at her too. ‘Your sad little game isn’t working; Liam knows you’re trying to wriggle out of prosecution.’

  ‘It’s got nothing to do with that,’ she sighs. ‘Anna, you need to know—’

  ‘I know everything I need to know.’ I watch her through narrowed eyes. ‘About you.’

  She runs rigid fingers through her hair.

  ‘You don’t know him.’ She nods at Liam.

  ‘I know you.’ I take a step towards her. ‘I know you very well. I remember everything that happened, everything you did, Carla.’

  ‘Who’s Carla?’ Liam frowns.

  ‘How do you know about her?’ Amanda’s face drains deathly pale.

  I’m astonished that she has actually convinced herself that Carla is a separate person. She must have some kind of personality disorder.

  ‘Look at my face.’ I jut my chin out. ‘Remember now, do you?’

  ‘What are you two going on about?’ Liam shouts. His arms cross over his body like an armour of flesh.

  ‘I’ll tell you everything, Liam,’ I say walking over to her. ‘Soon as I’ve got rid of her.’

  I grab her arm, but she shakes it free. ‘Get off me, you nutter,’ she spits.

  Before I can retort, she storms out of the house and slams the door behind her.

  Then I hear banging on the floor upstairs.

  ‘It’s just Gran,’ Liam says quickly. ‘She’s not well; the doctor says she has to stay in bed.’

  Suits me. At least she isn’t interfering down here when Liam and I need time to talk.

  ‘Let’s go through to the living room,’ I suggest. ‘And I’ll tell you everything about so-called Amanda Danson.’

  ‘Anna.’

  I hear Ivy call weakly.

  ‘Please. . . come up—’

  I place my foot on the bottom step.

  ‘Don’t,’ Liam says, pressing his hand on to my shoulder. ‘Leave her to rest.’

  ‘Anna—’ Ivy’s voice floats down again.

  ‘She sounds distressed,’ I say. ‘I’d better just pop up.’

  ‘I said leave her.’


  Something in his eyes flashes, and I take my foot off the step.

  ‘I need some thinking time alone, Anna,’ he says looking away. ‘Can you come back later?’

  Chapter 69

  I sit outside in the car a short while, thinking things through.

  Liam was vague and confused just now. I wonder if he has stopped taking his medication again. I tried to convince him to let me stay and make him something to eat but he wouldn’t hear of it.

  Amanda, Carla, call her what you will, she is the reason for all this upset.

  I just knew she would ruin everything given half a chance, casting doubt in Liam’s mind about us, about the accident.

  I blink a few times to disperse the murkiness that has settled in my eyes. I’ve noticed it happens after I take the sedatives. They dull my thoughts, untether them, as if they belong in someone else’s head.

  I start the car. I feel a bit woozy, and I want to get back home. If I take it steady I should be fine. When I get back I can take another sedative and go straight to bed.

  Things often look different after a rest.

  The sky is clouding over and it looks like there might be heavy rain soon.

  I drive slowly down Liam’s street and turn the corner on to Copthorne Way. It is a long road and when I get near the bottom I see a familiar figure turn the corner and then just as quickly she disappears from view again.

  Adrenaline courses through my veins and a sense of anticipation grips me.

  I turn in to the next street, and there she is, scurrying along like a dishevelled rat with her head down and eyes trained to the pavement.

  The time is right. Confront her.

  I drive slowly past her.

  With a wet and swollen face, she is completely lost in her thoughts and doesn’t notice me at all. She is probably replaying whatever argument she just had with Liam over and over in her head.