The Alpha and the Omega: An absurd philosophical tale about God, the end of the world, and what's on the other planets

by H. M. Charley Ada

  Zack searched for Lilly through the corner of his eye.

  “Take me! Please, take me to Hawaii! I can make it worth your while.” She lightly snaked her arm around his shoulders and laced her fingers through his hair.

  “Whoa,” Zack said, pulling back. “I can’t do that. First of all, I’m with Lilly, and I’m completely faithful to her. And second, God would never let me take you back. You can only go to Hawaii after you die.”

  “What if I told Lilly that you and I have already known each other?”

  “She would never believe you. Our souls are deeply connected in a way that is only possible in Hawaii, and she knows that I would never cheat on her. And besides, you don’t have to resort to these tactics to go to Hawaii; it’s much easier than that. All you have to do is live a good, honest life.”

  Kosos hesitated. Then she dropped her smile and violently rinsed her face with tears. “I can’t wait until after I die; my life is miserable. You don’t understand. Sacat hits me. He tells me I’m no good, he calls me names. He forces himself on me.”

  Zack noticed for the first time that she had several bruises on her arms. How had he missed them before?

  “My parents sold me to Sacat when I was fourteen, and I have lived this nightmare ever since. There’s nothing I can do, there’s no one I can turn to. You have to help.”

  “Ok Kosos, I will help, but we need to think hard about what we can do. Sacat is the most powerful man in the village. He could destroy the Church tomorrow if he wanted to.”

  “He controls me completely. I cannot but sneeze without his permission!”

  “Hmmm,” Zack said. “But he does let you come to church, doesn’t he? Even though he doesn’t believe in Makaism?”

  “Yes,” she said, her demeanor suddenly changing. “I guess he lets me do just that one thing… but still… it’s probably just to get me out of the house during the day.”

  “Oh…” Zack started, but just then, Lilly sat down on his other side, and Kosos was gone before he even turned back.

  “What the fuck was that all about?” Lilly asked.

  After the festival ended, and Zack told Lilly what happened with Kosos as they watched the last merrymakers stagger home or pass out on the floor of the Great Hall, Zack took Lilly to a new place that he had found back on Earth. He had not been back to the hilltop since the day that the ants had attacked, and while he contemplated what gift one got to please a creature with a brain smaller than the head of a pin – other than the enhancements he had already given them – he had been exploring the farthest reaches of the planet and had happened on this place.

  It was a pitch-black cave several miles beneath the Earth’s surface, with a large black reservoir. Small, white, eyeless fish populated the dark waters, and small, white, eyeless lizards lassoed them out with long, ropey tongues. The cave floor, ceiling, and walls were covered with millions of large, clear, rectangular crystals, and Zack and Lilly felt every one of them with their minds, now so adept at the sixth sense, that Zack and Lilly sometimes forget to even open their eyes when visiting Earth.

  “Maybe the ants just needed to cool off like you did that time,” Zack said. “Most of them are female you know.”

  Lilly smacked him across the face.

  “Ohhh, you’re lucky that didn’t hurt,” he kidded.

  “Yeah, and you’re lucky that I know that your awful sense of humor is the only reason you come out with turds like that one.”

  “Ouch. Ok, I’m sorry. I deserve that. But anyway… changing the subject… what did you think of Makaio Day?”

  “I think it was perfect. We’re really starting to reach some of them, especially Klatu. I think he’s close to earning a place in Heaven.”

  “Thanks to you!”

  “Stop,” she said, rolling her eyes.

  “Ok, ok. Anyway… hey, what do you think of this place?”

  “It’s pretty cool, I’m impressed. How did you find it?”

  “With my mind. If you focus really hard, you can penetrate even earth and rock to find the empty spaces.”

  “Wow, you’re really getting good at it, huh?”

  “Yeah, it’s almost second nature to me now. And hey, if you like this place, wait’ll I show you the Jurassic Park videogame. Wow!”

  “Yeah?”

  “It’ll blow you away. Seriously. And it makes you think too.”

  “About what?”

  “About all the different species that lived on Earth at one time or another and went extinct. It’s amazing. Did you know that dinosaurs ruled the Earth for nearly two hundred million years?”

  “Yeah, I knew it was something like that.”

  “But in all that time, none of them ever evolved any real intelligence. And humans, we’ve only been around for a few hundred thousand years, but we did. Could you just imagine if dinosaurs had reached that point first? Or what if these little guys here on the shore had done it? There could have been an entire lizard civilization!”

  “Zack, aren’t you forgetting something?”

  “What?”

  “God directed human evolution; the lizards only could have evolved intelligence first if God willed it, or at the very least, allowed it.”

  “Oh yeah. I keep forgetting. Right, right.”

  Some minutes passed.

  “Hey Lil?”

  “Yes?”

  “What did you think when you saw the baby?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I was just wondering, are you still thinking that you might want to have one of your own someday? You asked God about that right before he showed us Limbo, and then you never brought it up again.”

  “Oh… that. Well maybe someday, but when I brought it up with God, I didn’t mean that I wanted to have a baby anytime soon. I just didn’t like being told that I could never have one.”

  “Oh, ok. That’s good. Yeah, I didn’t want to have one anytime soon either.”

  Lilly was silent.

  “But maybe someday……”

  “Zack, I don’t know. Forever is a really long time. Before Heaven, I was an incredibly picky dater.”

  “So what? I was too.” This was a lie.

  “Yeah, but it was different. There, I was choosing somebody to maybe spend the next fifty years with. And I had a biological clock to worry about. But now, it’s like I’m trying to choose someone to spend billions and billions of years with. And I have billions and billions of years to pick that person. I mean, I really like you Zack, but I don’t know if I want to spend billions and billions of years with you? Do you understand?”

  “Yes, but –”

  “Does the concept of marriage even make sense in Heaven? What if we want to live multiple lives? Then there’s no way it would work. But then on the other hand, I think people have to make a commitment if they’re going to have a child, and someday I do want one. I don’t know Zack, I think I just need time.”

  “Of course, we’ve got plenty of that. But I do think we’re right for each other. Don’t you agree? I’ve never felt this close to anyone before.”

  “I’m not so sure. Don’t you realize that I’m always going to be fighting some kind of battle? If we’re successful on Limbo, and hundreds of years from now every single Limbean has made it to Heaven, I’m going to go right up to God the next day and ask him if there’s another planet we can help. Are you willing to come with me? Are you willing to do that with me for the rest of eternity?”

  “Lilly, I’ve gone this far with you.”

  “But we’re just getting started, and you’re still trying to win me over. I’ve seen it a million times before. A guy will do anything to get a girl, but once he has her, he changes.”

  “I won’t change. I promise.”

  “Zack –”

  “Lilly, you’re never going to find anyone as passionate as you are.” I’m not even sure if God cares as much as you do about those Limbeans. “But at least I recognize how amazing you are, and I think that�
��s what you really need in a partner.”

  “Yeah? Why am I amazing?”

  “Cause look at everything you’re –”

  “Blah blah blah. Let me ask you something, did you ever do anything that violates your beliefs?”

  “Huh? Oh wait, are you still thinking about what God said to you about the expensive meals? Cause come on, we both know that doesn’t make you a bad person – you’re just being modest!”

  “The meals weren’t the only thing I spent money on. There were clothes, vacations…”

  “Oh stop. You know you’re great, I know you’re great, so just accept the compliment!”

  “Hey watch it there! I already told you once before. Don’t tell me what to do!”

  “Ok, sorry,” he said quickly, unsure what he was apologizing for, but sure of his need to do it. “That just slipped out. My point was just that I don’t think spending a little money on yourself was a big deal. And even if it was, the fact that you’re concerned about it shows that you have honest, objective beliefs that you try to live up to.”

  “Objective?”

  “Yeah, like you came up with them objectively. Think about it. You asked me if I ever violated my beliefs. What if I told you that I never did? That would mean either that I was perfect, which is impossible, or that I didn’t arrive at my beliefs by objectively deciding what’s right, and then trying to live up to that, but instead, by first looking at my life and what actions would benefit me personally, and then choosing beliefs that justify those actions.”

  “Uh, can you give me an example?”

  “Sure, the thing we just talked about. What if you didn’t care about spending money on the meals and never donated anything or helped anyone, and you told yourself that it was ok because all you had to do to be a moral person was play by the rules and not intentionally hurt anyone? Your beliefs wouldn’t be objective. They’d just be a justification for your lifestyle.”

  “Ok, so what did you do that violated your beliefs?”

  “Hmmm…”

  “Maybe some of your trading… huh?” she said, poking him in the stomach.

  “No, I stand by that.”

  “Ha! See!”

  “No, come on. Wait… I know. I ate meat.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. And I had a leather jacket, like you, and probably about a thousand other animal products. And I always felt guilty about it in the back of my mind, cause I knew it wasn’t 100% right.”

  “Then why’d you do it?”

  “Because I couldn’t help myself. And because at the end of the day, I don’t think it was a big deal.”

  “Ok, I guess.”

  “Yeah, but don’t you see? The fact that I can admit that I was wrong shows that I’m honest with myself. Just imagine instead if I tried to excuse it by convincing myself of a bunch of crap like that eating meat is natural, or that I needed to get my protein, or something stupid like that.”

  “Fine, but so what. That doesn’t make you a good person. Knowing something is wrong and doing it anyway is even worse!”

  “True. But recognizing that it’s wrong is the first step! If you can justify everything, then you won’t change anything.”

  “All right,” she said, smiling, “I can agree with that little nugget. I knew there was a reason I kept you around! But anyway Zack… about the whole commitment thing, just give me some time, ok?”

  “Ok sure, of course.”

  “Good.” Oh, and by the way, there’s something else I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.

  What?

  I’ve been hearing the whispers again.

  Really?

  Yes. He said that God has not told us everything. And he gave me a message for you. He said to tell you that you were there that day.

  What day?

  I don’t know. He just said to tell you to remember it. You were there that day.

  17

  The next morning, the villagers and their guests awoke from the dream of peace and brotherhood that had been Makaio Day, heads aching, to find themselves immersed in a nightmare that would erase all memory of the previous day’s events. What monstrous, vile angel from hell caused such dread? Not one, but many. Vultures… circling fast overhead.

  “I told you, you fools!” Sot cried. “Sork knew about the festival! He bided his time. He waited until now – the morning after – to strike! As we speak, his army approaches, and the vultures know that in a few hours, this ground will be covered with dead bodies.”

  “Enough,” Sacat said. “Have you no faith in your chieftain? I will lead our soldiers.”

  “Besides,” Lilly broke in, “we can’t even be sure it’s Sork. There could be another explanation for the vultures.”

  “Like what?”

  “Well Sot, maybe some dehydrated travelers are headed here in search of water, and the vultures are tracking them.”

  “I said silence,” Sacat said. “You and your followers got us into this mess…” he pointed at Lilly, Zack, and Father Kai, “… and now you will either shut your mouths and help… or leave.”

  They complied, opting for the former option.

  “Good. Now, I want you to tell every able-bodied villager and Makain volunteer to head to the northern edge of the village to construct a barricade, with whatever tables, carts, or whatnots they can carry. The soldiers and I will join soon.”

  And with that they were off, and a short while later, Zack found himself with Lucky and a few dozen other men, shoveling sand into the barricade’s gaps, while others went to the quarry for stones. Meanwhile, the travelers from the neighboring villages packed up their tents and fled southward.

  “Lucky,” Zack said, “I don’t see the point of this. The army can march or ride around the village and attack from any side they want. What we need is a real wall, enclosing the whole village. Why didn’t anyone ever think of that? They’ve had decades since the last attack!”

  “I don’t know Zack. But at least this gives us something to do besides just stare at the vultures. It might give everyone some comfort.”

  “We’re wasting our energy. We should be resting up for the battle.”

  They continued shoveling. Then, a little while later, came Father Kai, with news from the other world.

  “Well what did he say?” Zack asked.

  “There’s nothing he can do. He won’t give us any additional volunteers; he said it would be too much of an advantage. We’re not supposed to have any supernatural powers here. I’m afraid we’re on our own.”

  “Did he at least tell you if there really is an army headed here?” Zack asked.

  “He would not answer. He said that such knowledge is as supernatural a power as any.”

  “Ok, thanks.”

  They continued shoveling, and the sun slowly made its way to the top of the giant glass sphere that the Limbeans believed was their world. Sweat drenched Zack’s cloak, and the dolphin emblem on the front melted downward in sour desolation. His arms were sore, and his throat was parched.

  “Maybe there is no army,” Zack said to Lucky. “Wouldn’t it be here by now? How could the vultures have gotten so far ahead of them?”

  “I don’t know man.”

  They continued shoveling. It was afternoon now, and it felt like they were hardly making any progress at all. Most of the barricade had gone up in the very beginning, and the shoveling and rock gathering that had followed contributed very little, very slowly. Zack looked at his hands; several blisters were developing. Then he looked up at the vultures, ever present, and thought of the little brown bird that had pecked at his ants on the hilltop. He wished that he could somehow give the villagers iron exoskeletons and poison stinger tails. But he could not.

  They continued shoveling. And then, finally, late in the afternoon, they heard it – the sound that had made Zack so grateful that he was a mere tourist when he had heard it that very first day, now multiplied several hundred times: coyotes, from the north. The riders had come.


  “To arms, to arms!” Sacat cried, as he and the other soldiers ran up and down the barricade distributing spears. There were only enough swords and shields for the soldiers, and so everyone else would face the riders with nothing more between him and the coyotes’ giant razor teeth than a pointy rock tied to the end of a stick. “Women and children inside the village!”

  “Lilly, you have to leave,” Zack said.

  “No way, I can fight.”

  “Lilly, Sacat would never allow it. It’s against Limbean culture.” Zack began preparing his arguments, but Lilly knew he was right.

  “Ok,” she said. “But first, let me show you a few quick things.” She grabbed his spear. “Ok, now… no wait, this isn’t going to work at all. Hmmm.” She walked over to the barricade and ran her eyes across it.

  “What are you doing?”

  “What Sacat should’ve had all the men do several hours ago,” she said, pulling a loose piece of wood off of an old cart. “This barricade is useless, any idiot can see that. You need shields more than an old garbage heap; they’re dogs, not horses – they’ll climb right over.”

  “I know, I’ve been saying that all day.”

  “Yeah. Ok look. Keep your shield here, see? And hold your spear like this, overhand, directly against the top of the shield, see? Then thrust like this.”

  “Ok, but –”

  “Have the other men form a tight line and do the same. Then, when they break your ranks, move like this.” She bent her legs like a mantis and circled. “See? Dodge, parry, thrust! Dodge, parry, thrust!”

  Several of the men, including Sacat, stared.

  “Or give ‘em one of these… dodge… dodge… dodge, parry, spin-duck-thrust!!”

  “Where did you learn that Lilly?”

  “College fencing.”

  “There’s no shield in fencing, how do you know –”

  “I just know Zack! There’s no ti–”

  “I said women inside the village!” Sacat snarled. “This is war! Not a dance festival!”

  “Ok, I’m going,” Lilly said, handing the wooden implements back to Zack. “Give ‘em hell soldiers!”