Star Dancer

by Morgan Llywelyn

  Suzanne’s eyes were very large. ‘Is that true?’

  ‘I swear to God,’ Ger said.

  ‘What war was your dad in? There hasn’t been a war.’

  ‘Ah, you know. The war over … there.’ Ger waved his hand in the air. There was always a war someplace, wasn’t there?

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘Yeah. Well. Like I was saying, I’m brave because I carry this stone, see? It’s easy to be brave when you know nothing can hurt you. That’s why I’ll lend you it to carry when you jump, Suzanne O. Then you can be just as brave as me.’

  Part of Suzanne wanted to laugh at Ger and tell him there was no such thing as a magic stone, that she was too old to believe in such nonsense. But a larger part of her did want to believe. Wanted very much to believe.

  She stared at the little red stone Ger was holding in his outstretched palm. ‘Are you sure?’ she asked doubtfully.

  Ger said, ‘Ask Dancer if you don’t believe me.’

  He didn’t know why he said it. But just at that moment a strange thing happened. Dancer reached out and touched the red stone with his muzzle, as if he understood.

  Ger felt a prickle run up his back. ‘Did y’see that, Suzanne! Dancer knows it’s magic! Go on, put it in your pocket now, before you ride.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘’Course I am.’

  ‘I mean … Anne wants me to start practising jumping this afternoon. She said to meet her down in the meadow, and … and …’

  ‘You’ll be grand,’ Ger said as strongly as he knew how. ‘Grand. Listen here to me, I’ll sneak off for a little while and watch, okay? Just for a while, so as you’ll know I’m there. Would that make you feel better? Not that you’ll need it,’ he added quickly. ‘Not when you have the magic stone to keep you safe.’

  He put the little red stone in her hand and closed her fingers around it.

  ‘Nothing can hurt you now,’ Ger told her. ‘Nothing.’

  When the time came, Ger watched Suzanne out of the corner of his eye as she got Dancer ready for their lesson. He saw how pale Suzanne’s face was when she tightened the strap on her safety helmet. He called out to her, ‘You have the magic stone, you’ll be fine.’

  She managed a small smile.

  When Suzanne was mounted on Dancer, Ger followed them out to the jumping field. Anne Fitzpatrick was already there, schooling a boy on a piebald mare. When she saw Suzanne and Dancer she called out, ‘You start warming him up with some trot work, Suzanne. I’ll be ready for you next.’

  Suzanne cast a quick glance at Ger. ‘Magic,’ he hissed, grinning at her.

  ‘Magic,’ she repeated, nodding. She took one hand off the reins and patted at the pocket of her jeans. She could feel the stone there, safe. Keeping her safe.

  Suzanne smiled again. Star Dancer could feel that smile. He felt it in her touch on the reins and the pressure of her legs against his sides. Everything is all right today, the feeling told him. There is nothing to worry about today.

  He pricked up his ears and moved forward happily. When Anne called to them, he obeyed Suzanne and trotted towards the first low jump without hesitation.

  ‘Now, Suzanne,’ Anne called, ‘just trot over this and let’s see how the two of you do together.’

  It was just a little fence, no more than a couple of sleeper rails, one atop the other. But it was a jump, and as soon as Suzanne started towards it she could feel her heart start to pound and the dream came flooding back.

  But Dancer just trotted calmly forward.

  It’s the magic, Suzanne thought. Oh, please …

  ‘That’s it,’ Anne called. ‘Stay in the trot, now. One, two, three …’

  Dancer hopped effortlessly over the fence and calmly trotted on.

  We did it! Suzanne thought. We jumped and I didn’t fall off! She almost turned around to look back, but Anne called, ‘Eyes forward, Suzanne. Watch for the next fence. Stay in the trot, keep him quiet. One, two, three …’

  Star Dancer took the second jump as easily as the first. He made no effort to stop. He seemed to have forgotten that Suzanne had once stopped him to keep him from jumping.

  As they turned towards the third low fence, he tugged at the bit a little. He was eager to go faster. This was fun.

  ‘Let him canter on,’ Anne called.

  Suzanne did not realise she had caught her lower lip between her teeth.

  She pressed one leg just behind the girth to give Dancer the signal to canter. Her eyes measured the distance to the waiting fence. She leaned forward a little to adjust to her horse’s increased speed. Gripping the saddle with her knees, she balanced her weight in the stirrups and rose with Dancer when he rose to meet the fence.

  Ger was standing beneath a tree at the edge of the meadow, watching. Although Suzanne could not see it, he had his fingers crossed. He held his breath when Dancer began to canter towards the third fence. When the horse had jumped from a trot, he just sort of bobbed over. But jumping from a canter, which was really a slow gallop, Dancer seemed to lift into the air and fly.

  Ger tensed, suddenly afraid. If Suzanne fell off and got hurt it would be his fault. ‘I’ll never tell a lie again, Suzanne,’ he whispered. ‘I’ll never ever … oh you dancer!’ he cried with delight. They had landed safely on the other side of the jump and Suzanne had a big grin on her face.

  Still grinning, Suzanne cantered back to where Anne was standing. The instructor did not know what a triumph the moment was for Suzanne. Putting one hand on the girl’s knee, she looked up and frowned. ‘You’ve been chewing your lip again, haven’t you? I warned you about that, and now look. There’s blood on your chin. You must have bitten your lip while you were jumping. Bend down here.’

  Anne took a tissue from her pocket and dabbed at Suzanne’s face. The girl said in surprise, ‘But I didn’t feel anything. It doesn’t hurt at all!’

  Anne made Suzanne and Dancer jump some more fences, all low, easy ones. With each jump, Suzanne felt more sure of herself. When the lesson was over she was almost sorry.

  Anne told her, ‘I think tomorrow I’ll set up some cavaletti and have you trot through them to improve your balance and your rhythm. We have a lot of work to do before August, but I think you will be ready for the one-day event. At least we know Dancer’s able for the dressage.’

  Back at the stable after she had cooled Dancer off and settled him down, Suzanne found Ger working in the tackroom. ‘Ger, did you see? Did you see us jumping?’

  Ger busily polished a pair of stirrup irons hanging on a metal hook. ‘Dead right I did, Suzanne. Didn’t I tell you you could do it? I wasn’t worried, not when you had the magic stone.’

  Suzanne took the little red stone from her pocket and handed it back to him. ‘Here. And thank you.’

  ‘You keep it,’ Ger said. ‘Keep it for when you jump.’

  ‘But some day you’ll want to jump, too, and …’

  ‘I’m not scared of jumping,’ Ger told her. ‘I can do it without the stone.’

  ‘But you’ll want this back, it was your dad’s and …’

  Suzanne paused, giving Ger a long look. ‘If he’s away on a secret mission, isn’t that dangerous? I mean, why didn’t he keep it and take it with him? And what sort of secret mission is he …’

  Ger said very quickly, ‘Top secret, can’t talk about it. No one’s supposed to know ‘cept him and … and the army. If anyone finds out I told you I’m in trouble.’

  ‘But the stone …’

  ‘Yeah, well …’ Ger thought as fast as he could. ‘My old fella … likes to take care of me, see. That’s all. He worries about me all the time. No need to, he just does. Like your parents, I s’pose. He wanted me to be safe more than he wanted to protect himself.’

  Suzanne accepted this. ‘I know what you mean. Parents are like that, aren’t they? My mum worries about me all the time too. She never says, but I can see it in her face. Should I tell her about the magic stone so she won’t worry any more?’

&n
bsp; Ger frowned. ‘Nah. Lets keep it our secret. Grown-ups don’t always understand about magic. I mean, my da does, of course, but he’s different.’

  On the bus going home that night, Ger rolled the little red stone in his palm. He’d agreed to mind it for Suzanne. Just in case his da came home and was looking for it. But Suzanne could use the magic stone whenever she jumped. Maybe it really was magic. Maybe Star Dancer had done something to it when he touched it with his nose, and turned the lie into truth.

  Maybe it was Star Dancer who was magic.

  But when Ger got home he forgot about the stone. As he got off the bus he saw Rags and Danny sitting on the pavement as if they were waiting for him. They stood up and came towards him.

  ‘Where’ve you been all day?’ Rags demanded to know.

  Ger shrugged. ‘Places. I got places to go.’

  Danny said, ‘Anto thinks you’re avoiding us.’

  ‘I’m not! I’m just busy.’

  ‘Busy being a spy, like you said?’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘Would you get outta that! Anto says you’re no spy. He asked his old fella and his old fella said no one’d let a kid be a spy. He said we don’t even have any spies in this country. Not like the CIA and stuff.’

  ‘Anto’s old fella knows nothing ‘bout anything,’ Ger said angrily.

  Rags retorted, ‘Well at least he has an old fella!’

  That hurt. Ger felt the pain in the pit of his stomach. His friends could be cruel. Sometimes they enjoyed being cruel. He had been just like them, until Star Dancer. Now something inside him was different. He didn’t know what, but it was.

  Ger began to walk swiftly towards the flat where he lived. The other two kept pace with him, taunting him. ‘We’re going to follow you,’ Danny said. ‘We’re going to follow you and find out where you go, Anto says. And then …’

  Ger whirled round to face them. ‘And then what? It’s none of your bleedin’ business.’ He gave Danny a quick shove and brushed past him, running up the steps.

  When he had slammed the door in their faces, Ger stood for a moment with his back against it, breathing hard. He knew Anto. If he’d made the threat he would carry it out. He’d find out where Ger went and appear some day at the stables looking for a way to cause trouble.

  The door felt solid against Ger’s back, but it wasn’t solid enough.

  9 – Big Dreams

  AS THE DAYS PASSED, however, there was no sign of Anto and the other boys at the stables. Each time Ger caught the bus he looked very carefully for them first. If they were watching him, they were doing it from hiding.

  He could imagine all too clearly the sort of trouble they would cause. They wouldn’t see the beauty of the horses, or the perfection of neat rows of saddles and bridles each in their own place in the tackroom, or the generosity and friendliness the other people at the stables had shown to Ger. No, the gang would only see The Enemy, and a thousand new ways to hit out at them.

  All the same, Anto and the others are my mates too, Ger told himself. Maybe I don’t really belong with Star Dancer. Maybe I belong with them. But Star Dancer had shown him a very different world, and he could not give it up.

  Once he got to the stables he could always forget about Anto and all his other problems. It was as if they didn’t exist. For a whole day at a time he was just Ger Casey who-was-learning-to-ride-horses. He didn’t have a mother who liked the drink, or a father doing time.

  One day Suzanne invited him to walk over to her house and have lunch. Her mother made chicken salad for them, and they ate on a table outside under some big old trees. The house wasn’t at all the way Ger had imagined. It wasn’t a mansion, just a bungalow with a B&B sign on the gatepost. But it was clean and smelled good, and nothing inside was broken.

  ‘You must be rolling in money to have so many new things,’ Ger remarked to Suzanne.

  She laughed. ‘Us? Not at all. My dad owns a newsagent’s. We’re just ordinary people.’

  ‘But you’ve got Star Dancer.’

  ‘A lot of people who aren’t rich own horses, Ger. I do babysitting to help pay for Dancer’s livery, you know.’

  ‘You work?’ Ger asked in surprise.

  ‘Of course. Same as you do. Well, not at the stables, but I work just as hard sometimes! Taking care of little kids isn’t always easy.’

  Suzanne took another bite of her chicken salad and swallowed a big drink of milk. ‘I’ll be glad when I’m older,’ she went on, ‘because then I can get a real job on the weekends. Maybe in the newsagent’s.’

  ‘D’you really need to?’

  ‘I do, of course. I … I have this dream, Ger. I’ve never told this to anyone but you. And Dancer. Someday I’d like to ride for Ireland.’

  ‘What d’you mean?’

  ‘Well … someday I’d like to be on an Olympic Team.’

  Ger stared at her. ‘You mean like the army?’

  ‘Not exactly. Civilians ride on Olympic Teams, you know. There are three equestrian teams, though we don’t have all three in this country yet. There’s showjumping and combined training, and dressage. Three different teams.’

  ‘They have dressage in the Olympic Games?’ Ger asked in astonishment.

  ‘They do, and it must be so beautiful! I’d give anything to see it.’

  ‘Could Star Dancer be in the Olympic Games?’ Ger asked eagerly.

  Suzanne looked sad. ‘Not really. He’s a wonderful horse, but he’s not able for that level of competition. I’ll learn all I can from him, and then, if I can afford a better horse, I’ll move up to the next level.’

  ‘But what’ll you do with Dancer then?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Suzanne replied. ‘I don’t want to think about that.’

  ‘Is it dressage you want to do in the Olympics?’

  Suzanne looked down at her plate. ‘I’d really like to jump,’ she admitted. ‘Maybe I could make the showjumping team. Or the eventing team.’ She raised her eyes and met his. ‘Now that I have the magic and can jump,’ she said with a warm smile. ‘Oh Ger, just imagine! It’d mean years and years and years of work, of course. But I don’t mind about that. Just to have the chance!’

  Ger stared at her. He had never imagined such a dream. But this was one that could come true. Suzanne believed it could, and she didn’t make up stories.

  A boy or girl could work hard and someday, if they were very lucky, ride a horse in the Olympic Games.

  It seemed incredible.

  But Ger believed her.

  ‘I’ll have to find a sponsor at some stage,’ Suzanne was saying. ‘When I’m older. If I’ve been doing well. Sometimes a person or a company will sponsor a really good rider, help pay their expenses and all. If I could find a sponsor it wouldn’t matter that we don’t have much money. But I’ll have to get to be really good first and do a lot of winning, so someone will be willing to sponsor me.’

  ‘You can do it, Suzanne O,’ Ger said eagerly. ‘I know you can, like I knew you could jump.’

  And if you can do it, he thought to himself, maybe even I could do it. If I got really good. If I found a sponsor, whatever that is … Ger felt as if a balloon was swelling inside his chest. Suddenly the world was full of possibilities. Until he met Star Dancer, he had thought his world was bounded by derelict houses and his future was probably prison.

  But now …! Now he was beginning to think anything was possible.

  I am really sitting here, he thought, under these trees, eating a meal off unchipped plates, thinking about riding in the Olympics.

  And it could happen.

  It could.

  Someday …

  ‘What are you children so serious about?’ Mrs O’Gorman said, bringing out the dessert. Cream cakes, Ger noticed hungrily.

  ‘Talking about me riding in the Olympics someday, maybe,’ Suzanne said.

  Ger saw the shadow cross Mrs O’Gorman’s face. ‘That’s a nice dream, dear,’ she said gently. ‘But there are years and years before you need
to think about that. You’ll grow and change and be interested in other things.’ She said it as if she hoped that was what would happen.

  ‘Your mam doesn’t like to think about you riding in the Olympics,’ Ger remarked to Suzanne when they had finished their lunch and were walking back down the road to the stables.

  ‘She doesn’t mind, she just thinks I’ll grow out of it. But I won’t!’

  ‘You’d think she’d want you to do it. She used to ride, you said.’

  ‘She did. She gave it up before I was born, though.’

  How could anyone give up riding? Ger wondered. He didn’t think Suzanne would grow out of it. He didn’t think he would, either. Not now that he knew there was a chance. A very slim chance, if you were very very good.

  I’ll be that good, Ger promised himself.

  He began trying to be nearby whenever anyone was having a riding lesson, and listening very carefully to what they were told. He read all the horse magazines he found lying around the stables, although he had to puzzle out a lot of the harder words. But it got easier with practice, just like riding.

  ‘It’s hard to get that boy to go home at night,’ Brendan Walsh said, laughing, to Anne Fitzpatrick. ‘After he’s done all his work he still hangs around here, asking questions, looking for more to do. You’d think he had no home to go to.’

  Then came the weekend of Suzanne’s next dressage show. It was being held some distance away, far down in Wicklow, and Mr O’Gorman was going to drive Suzanne and her mother down in his car. Star Dancer would go in the big horse box with some other horses from the stables.

  ‘Would you like to go with us and be my groom?’ Suzanne asked.

  ‘I would, of course!’ Ger assured her.

  On the morning of the show, Ger hitchhiked out to the stables. No buses ran early enough to get him there in time to leave with the O’Gormans. He would really have liked to ride to the show in the horse box, but Brendan Walsh wouldn’t let him.

  On the way down, Ger learned something new about Suzanne. In spite of her excitement, she was almost put to sleep by the long car ride. When he mentioned it to her she laughed.

  ‘Cars always make me sleep,’ she told Ger.