Reditus

by Mary M Wallace

  “Yeah,” Pax said with an easy smile. “Scott Paxton. Everyone just calls me Pax.” Declan nodded his understanding. Pax quickly lost interest in Declan and turned his attention back to Bree. Correction, he thought. B. He’d called her B. Like they were friends. He told himself he was just being protective. A good friend. But deep down, he knew what jealousy felt like. He didn’t like it.

  “Need to clean the guns,” Declan said pointedly. Bree gave him an absent nod as she listened to something Pax was saying to her in a low voice.

  Declan turned back to his own booth as Pax started praising Bree’s shooting skills. She laughed at something the other man said as Declan gathered up his weapon and empty magazines and headed back toward the armory.

  Sawyer caught up to Declan as he walked and fell into step beside him. “Hey. Pax is harmless,” she said. He didn’t reply. “Seriously,” she said. She didn’t know why she was involving herself at all. This was none of her business. She’d seen the muscle ticking in Declan’s jaw and it was obvious to her that Pax wasn’t endearing himself to him. She knew he was just a harmless flirt unless a girl showed active interest in him, but Declan couldn’t know that.

  “Dec,” she said, touching his arm to slow him. He stopped walking and turned to face her, his eyebrows raised in question. Now that he was waiting for her to say something, she didn’t know what she wanted to say. She thought back to the time they’d spent away from the compound. Declan had always tried to make her laugh. He’d barely known her but he’d been a friend to her. She could return the favor now.

  “Look,” she told him in a quiet voice. “Pax flirts with anything with breasts, okay? Bree’s crazy about you.” When Declan began to shake his head in protest, Sawyer rolled her eyes and sighed in disgust. “Maybe you want to deny it, but everyone else can see it. And you’re crazy about her too.” When Declan didn’t say anything to this, Sawyer felt her own annoyance ratchet up a notch. Time for some truth. “Listen, Declan. I’d like to think we’re friends so I’m going to be blunt here.” His mouth twitched in a small smile. Sawyer ignored this and said, “Pax might be a big flirt who never takes things seriously, but he’s giving her the time of day while you keep her at arm’s length. If you don’t like seeing her happy with someone else, make sure she’s happy with you.” She gave him a pointed glare before walking past him back to the armory. She smiled as she left. It felt good to help people.

  Chapter 13

  They broke for lunch after cleaning and putting away the weapons. Since lunch was considered free time rather than training, Corbin took the opportunity to carry his tray of food to a small table in the corner away from everyone else. Although Bree thought his ire was only directed at Sawyer, she still felt a pang of annoyance that he couldn’t even sit with them for a meal. The rest of the team sat at a table together. Everyone was focused on their food and spoke little. Halfway through the meal, Rowan joined them, his lighthearted banter making everyone smile a bit. Sawyer talked and laughed with him and Bree joined in as well. Jon and Rylee seemed content to let the conversation flow around them, smiling occasionally at something funny.

  Declan seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. Bree glanced his way several times as they ate. He seemed to be concentrating on his food and ignoring the others. It wasn’t like him, Bree thought, to be so withdrawn. It bordered on rude. She was reminded of Corbin’s behavior for a moment and she didn’t like it.

  After lunch they headed back toward the arena for hand–to–hand combat training. Bree’s muscles were beginning to make themselves known after the morning’s activities and she wasn’t sure how much she was going to like this part of the day. As they walked along the hallways toward the arena, she fell back to walk next to Declan who was at the back of the group.

  “Hey,” she said, reaching out a hand to touch his arm. “Everything okay?”

  He glanced at her briefly but didn’t meet her eyes. “Yeah, fine,” he said dismissively. Bree didn’t recognize this side of him, but she knew something was off. She pulled him to a stop and turned him to face her.

  “Declan,” she said, her brows drawn low with concern. “What’s up? Did something happen?”

  He shook his head. “Nope,” he said, his tone implying otherwise. “Nothing. All good.”

  Bree could feel her annoyance quickly shifting to anger. Something was obviously bothering him but he was lying about it. She tried again. “You acted weird all through lunch. Something is going on,” she said. “Just tell me what it is. We’re in this together, remember?”

  Declan laughed without humor. “Nothing’s wrong, B,” he said in a hard voice. “We’re going to be late.” He turned to walk away. Bree’s mouth dropped open. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to laugh or to kick him.

  She jogged ahead and whirled to face him. “Whoa,” she said, her anger flaring. “What the hell does that mean?”

  Declan sighed. “Nothing,” he said. “Forget I said anything. Let’s just get in there before Gwynn gets pissed.”

  “No,” Bree said shaking her head. “Not until you tell me what you mean by that. You’ve never once called me that. Why now?” She thought she knew what was bothering him but she wanted to hear him say it.

  “Fine,” he said. “You just met that guy what, yesterday? Do you even know anything about him?”

  “Who?” she asked, confused. She blinked, taken aback. “Pax?” she scoffed and waved her hand dismissively. “He flirts with everyone!”

  Declan nodded. “So I heard,” he said. “You didn’t seem bothered by it.”

  Now she did want to kick him. She opened her mouth to speak but snapped it closed again and took a deep breath, reconsidering her angry retort. Finally, she said, “Declan, I can flirt with whoever I want. You have no say in the matter. If you’d like the right to weigh in on it, the ball’s in your court. I think you know where I stand.” She whirled around and stalked down the hallway to the arena, leaving Declan standing in the hallway speechless.

  The others were all waiting when Declan walked into the arena. They were circled around a practice mat, Gwynn standing in the center. He did his best to push the argument with Bree from his mind and focus on what Gwynn was saying, but it was no good. He kept replaying Bree’s words, “I think you know where I stand” over and over in his mind. Did he know where she stood? He wasn’t sure he did. He thought of her face as she’d said the words. She’d looked angry. Her blue eyes had been shooting flames at him. He’d never seen her angry at him before. He didn’t like it. He brought his attention back to the training mat and realized he was lost.

  Gwynn had stopped talking and now she and Corbin were in the center of the practice mat, facing off. Declan hadn’t heard a word she’d said and now had no idea what was happening. He shook his head and pushed out thoughts of Bree. This was ridiculous. He had to focus.

  They all watched as Corbin and Gwynn demonstrated various holds and how to get out of them. They paired off and practiced with one another. Gwynn walked among them, correcting stances, giving pointers and praise where warranted. Bree and Rylee faced off against one another, both of them smiling.

  “Listen Mom,” Bree said. “I can take it easy on you if you need. I know you’re not in your prime anymore.”

  “Oh!” Rylee exclaimed. “Someone’s got jokes, huh?” They both laughed as Rylee made a move toward her daughter. Jon cheered from the sideline.

  “Don’t let her smell fear!” he said with a laugh.

  Declan stood next to Jon. Leaning over, he said, “Who are you cheering for?”

  Jon glanced over at him with an expression that said he questioned Declan’s sanity. “Both. Neither. When you live with two women, you learn early on not to take sides. At least not out loud.” Then louder, he shouted, “You got this!” Declan laughed. Jon might be a genius.

  As the afternoon wore on, they were each matched up with different members of the team. Gwynn’s notion was that they needed to become used to as many fighting styles as p
ossible. They also needed to learn to adjust to opponents of different sizes. It wasn’t long before Declan was facing off against Bree. He knew she was angry with him. He wondered if she’d take that anger out on him now. She’d learned a lot from Sawyer during the time before they’d come here. Declan knew for a fact that she could leave him flat on his back before he knew what happened. He didn’t think she’d hurt him on purpose, but she’d never been angry with him before. He wasn’t sure what to expect now.

  Bree wore a look of intense concentration, the playful banter of before gone. Declan had a moment to consider apologizing and hoping she would take it easy on him before she lunged. He swiftly dodged her attack and blocked a kick aimed at his legs. She was definitely still mad. Before he could turn to face her, she’d swept his legs out from under him. He landed on his back with a thump. He quickly rolled away from her and sprang to his feet. Yep. Definitely mad. He hadn’t realized how fast she could move. She struck out at him with her fists. Declan used his arms to deflect her blows, backing up as she continued to advance toward him. He felt his left foot slide off the mat behind him. Up until now, he hadn’t pressed an attack. He’d been reacting to her attacks. Now, he realized that he needed to go on the offensive.

  Bree swung a fist at his head. This time instead of avoiding her fist, he brought his hands up to grip her arm, pulling her close to him. He brought his leg around to sweep hers out from under her. She fell backward as he’d intended but as she did, she wrapped her legs around him and brought him with her. Her hips twisted and somehow Declan found himself on his back, Bree straddling him. He spent a glorious split second considering the possibilities of this position before he brought one leg up and around. He flipped her backward, pinning her to the mat with his leg, trapping her own legs under both of them. Her arms were free, but they were essentially useless. Her power was in her speed and her legs and she knew it. She glared at him while he tried not to smile.

  “Okay,” Gwynn said. “That’s enough for today, I think.” Declan moved to untangle himself from Bree and stood. He reached out a hand to help her up, but she ignored it and got to her feet unassisted. As soon as she was on her feet, she walked away from him and grabbed her bottle of water from the bench. Declan forced himself to look away. He knew he’d have to apologize and soon. He’d been in the wrong earlier and she had every right to be angry with him. He hated being wrong almost as much as he hated making an ass of himself. He’d done both today and he needed to accept responsibility for it.

  Dinner was an awkward affair, eaten mostly in silence. Rowan kept up a one–sided conversation with Sawyer for a short time until it became clear that her single–word responses were all he was going to get. Corbin once again chose not to eat with the rest of the team. Bree didn’t speak at all. She focused on her food, eating quickly. When she finished, she said something about being tired, waved goodnight to the table and left. Declan watched her walk away knowing now was his chance to fix things with her. He muttered a quick excuse to the group and hurried after her. He made it to the elevator and slid inside just before the doors closed, startling Bree. She didn’t say anything, choosing instead to stare at her shoes.

  The elevator ride was spent in silence and for the first time between the two of them, it was awkward. Bree hated it. She hated the two of them being at odds but she wasn’t wrong. She wasn’t going to break first. It might be petty, but he had to realize that he couldn’t call the shots on her life. The doors opened and she stepped into the hallway, turning to walk to her room. She didn’t look back. When she got to her door, she slid the keycard from her pocket and inserted it into the little slot, doing her best to ignore Declan’s approach. The door opened and she moved to step inside. Declan’s hand on her arm made her stop.

  “Bree, wait a minute,” he said. She thought his voice sounded uncomfortable, strained. She turned to face him, her face neutral.

  “Yes?” She asked. “Did you need something?”

  Declan ran a hand through his hair in a gesture that looked almost nervous. She tried to hide her amusement. He was cute when he was flustered, which he so rarely was.

  He opened his mouth to speak but then closed it again. Bree's own lips twitched but she managed not to smile. Declan finally said, “I'm sorry, Bree.” He finally met her gaze and sighed. “You were right. I shouldn't have acted the way I did.”

  Bree gave in and smiled, her gaze softening. Declan said, “I don't like it when you're mad at me.” He smiled ruefully. “I was out of line. Forgive me?” She noticed that he made no mention of her challenge to him. That was just as well. She'd been regretting it all afternoon. Why had she said it? She knew how he felt about them being together.

  She finally nodded and said, “Of course.” His smile widened, showing off that dangerous dimple in his left cheek. She hated the way her heart and stomach flipped at the sight. Would that ever stop happening? She mentally scolded herself for it every time, but it was no use. She was always going to have feelings for Declan and he was always going to keep her at arm's length.

  Still, they had a job to do and she was determined to put aside her emotions and focus on the mission. She forced herself to don the friendly mask that she'd worn for so long with him. She opened the door wider. “How about a beer?” She said, smiling. “Rowan stocked my fridge earlier.”

  Declan nodded. “After today, I think we deserve one,” he said as he came in. She closed the door behind him.

  Chapter 14

  After a few days, life at the compound began to settle into a routine of sorts. Wake up, workout, breakfast, class, weapons training, lunch, hand–to–hand combat training, followed by free time until dinner. The evenings were their own time, spent however they wished so long as they stayed inside the compound. They weren't prisoners, but leaving required a valid need and approval. It was all done to keep the compound and its inhabitants safe, but Declan could see how it could become stifling spending every day underground, even if the place was enormous. He tried to ignore the restlessness that began to creep in after the first week. He wasn’t used to being told where he could and couldn’t go. Even as he understood the need for it, he couldn’t suppress the slight resentment he felt.

  He also struggled to keep his distance from Bree when they were forced to spend hours together each day. It wasn’t that he didn’t like her company. The problem was that he liked it too much. He had to force himself to keep from staring at her during training. His gaze strayed to her while they sat in class with Lydia. His thoughts wandered to what she might be doing while he worked on his sketches in his quarters after dinner. He’d wonder if she were hanging out with Pax or even Rowan.

  Every time it happened, Declan would mentally scold himself. He had no right to be jealous where she was concerned. She’d said as much on their first day of training. He hadn’t let his annoyance show itself since that day, but it hadn’t been easy. Rowan was Sawyer’s brother so he was constantly around the rest of the team. Realistically, Declan knew that Rowan and Bree were just friends. It was obvious. Rowan didn’t treat Bree any differently than he did the rest of the team. Still, the irrational jealousy would rear its ugly head every time Bree laughed at something Rowan said. He didn’t even want to think about how he felt when she talked to Pax. That man clearly wanted more than friendship.

  He knew he needed to concentrate on learning everything he could, mastering as many abilities as possible, working together as a team. He needed to be prepared for whatever came next so he could protect the people he cared about. He couldn’t afford to be distracted by thoughts of Bree, no matter what he felt for her.

  His dreams did nothing to help him. He dreamt of Bree every night. The nightmare was also a constant presence. Every night he would fall asleep to happy, peaceful dreams of being with Bree. He dreamt of holding her in his arms, of kissing her on a crowded street, of making love to her, of standing with her in front of their friends and family and promising to love her until death. Those dreams were always fo
llowed by the nightmare. Night after night, he would see all the ways he and Bree could be together and then watch it all get ripped away by Ephraim in that run–down hotel room. Every night, he awakened covered in sweat and shaking, trying to push away the memories of watching Bree die.

  He would do anything to prevent that. He just wished he knew a way. The only idea he’d come up with so far was keeping his distance as much as possible. He wasn’t certain that keeping Bree at arm’s length was the way to keep their nightmare from coming true, but it was the only thing he could think to do. He was determined to keep all their dreams from coming true, including the ones he most wished would happen. He didn’t know for sure if it would make a difference, but so much of his life felt as though it was out of his control right now. This was something he felt he could control.

  He would keep his distance from Bree and hope that whatever feelings he had for her wouldn’t grow stronger. He thought he had some idea of what she felt toward him, though she’d never said anything to him. Their first day of training, she’d angrily told him that the ball was in his court, whatever that meant. He’d tried not to dwell on the implications. She hadn’t made any romantic advances toward him since the kiss at her parents’ house. Declan thought back to that day, sitting next to her on that tree branch, her lips on his, holding her close to him for that brief instant. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. It was best to push that particular memory into the far recesses of his mind. His dreams didn’t need any help from his memories to create romantic scenarios for the two of them.

  Occasionally the team attended briefings in the area known as Operations. They’d get updates on missions and possible sightings of Ephraim or his army. Some was rumor and some was verified. It was tasked to Intelligence to decipher the real leads from the false. Missions were assigned based on that information. It was a heavy responsibility and Rowan was the head of Intelligence. Declan thought he seemed young to already be in charge of an entire department but then he remembered that Praetorians didn’t tend to have long lives. At this point, Rowan had been working actively in the fight against Ephraim for more than ten years. He’d tried to explain his ability but Declan still wasn’t sure the extent of the other man’s mental acuity.