Revenge (7) (The Underground Kingdom)

by Steve Elliott

  "Yes, he does," Trix denied stoutly. "He just needs a little more time to figure it out."

  "I think the problem is that he can smell it everywhere in here," I announced thoughtfully, "and that's why he can't pin it down. I believe the solution is to take him outside and let him trail it from there."

  "Good thinking," Thorn agreed. "Let's do that."

  Fink sternly commanded our intimidated poison participant not to even think of leaving the settlement as Trix led Zen outside, gave him another careful sniff of the powder, took his face in her hands and commanded, "Seek!" He gave her a soft woof of assent, put his nose to the ground and circled around half a dozen times. Then he gave a bark and took off.

  "I knew he could do it!" Trix announced smugly, as she watched her pet.

  "Don't talk, run!" I told her, taking the bowl from her and beginning to sprint after the fast-disappearing Zen. "We don't want to lose him."

  Heavens above, that wolf could move! Of course, he had an unfair advantage, having four legs instead of our two, but at least we had the advantage of being able to fly. Well, most of us, that is. Poor Trix had to be content with an earthbound chase, although she did surprisingly well in keeping up with us. For someone so small, she could certainly cover distance in a hurry whenever she wished.

  Our four-legged bloodhound traced our quarry to an opulent midtown house and sat himself down in front of the door and looked around at us with a self-congratulatory grin and a pleased tail wagging.

  "How do we know this is the right house?" Quina asked.

  "It's where the trail leads," I commented. "We have to trust Zen’s nose. What else are we to think if the poison track ends here? The ringleader must be inside. We'll just have to go in and see what we can find out."

  "That's all very well," a panting Fink argued, "but what stunt are you going to pull this time? Your methods are rather ……. um, unorthodox, to say the least. Almost bordering on criminal, really."

  "Yes," Thorn interjected, "but not actually illegal. And it did get results, remember. Stephen’s approach may be somewhat irregular but that’s what makes them work so well. It's the unexpected aspect of them that confuses the baddies."

  "I suppose," Fink said, doubtfully. "I agree that he does seem to get results. Very well, let's do this, then."

  Chapter 14

  We knocked on the door, although I wasn't quite sure what to expect. What would be the best way to approach this? ‘Excuse me, sir, but I believe that you're a murderer. Please explain.’ I don't think so, although it had worked fairly well last time. I didn't think I'd be as lucky again.

  The door opened and we were confronted by a well-dressed male fairy wearing a look that tagged us all as belonging to a species that lived under damp rocks.

  "What do you want?" he asked, his upper lip curling with disdain. "I'm not buying anything, so don't waste my time."

  "Charming," Quina murmured.

  "This is just a social visit," I told him, in my most subservient tone. "We have a business matter to discuss." I gave him a wink. "It could be worth a lot of money to the right person."

  "Really?" he asked, his interest piqued. He surveyed us again, his gaze now elevating us a level or two up the evolutionary ladder. "How much money?"

  I shrugged in a non-committed manner. "It depends on what you're willing to offer," I dithered. "Can we come inside and discuss it? It's a bit conspicuous out here on the street."

  "Yes, of course," he agreed, standing aside a little reluctantly. "Come in."

  We trooped inside with Zen in our midst, even though I could tell our host wasn’t too happy about our canine companion’s presence. Zen’s grey coloring probably clashed with his curtains, or something.

  Quina awarded me with an incredulous look as we milled around in the living room. "You're such a fibber!" she whispered. "How do you do it?"

  "It comes naturally to humans," I whispered back.

  Our host seated himself at the table and imperiously waved at us to do likewise. "Now, what's all this about?" he asked.

  "Well, it's like this," I began, cringing a little to play up to his glaring feeling of superiority. "Recently, a female One has died and I heard on the street …..", at this stage I lowered my voice to a conspiratorial undertone, "…. that perhaps you could help me in this regard."

  "I don't know what you're talking about," he said, stiffly. "I had nothing to do with poisoning that female!"

  "I didn't mention anything about poisoning," I remarked softly. "But anyway, that's beside the point. There's a certain someone I'd like to ……. um, see inconvenienced, if you follow my meaning, and I thought that perhaps you might be able to help. I'd be willing to pay, of course. Quite handsomely."

  "I'm not admitting to anything," our host warily proclaimed. "And why is he here?" he demanded, pointing at Fink. "What you mean by bringing the Head of Security into my house? Just who do you think you are?"

  "Take it easy," I soothed. "He’s simply here to protect his …… investment. There's a lot of money tied up in this and he doesn't want his share going astray, if you know what I mean."

  Our suspect calmed down at my words, nodding acceptance. It's a funny thing, but baddies always seem to believe that everyone else is as corrupt as they are, probably because that's how they see the world.

  "All right, then," he grudgingly acknowledged.

  "Before we start negotiations," I told him, "how about a cup of tea to help things along? I'm parched."

  "If you insist," he said ungraciously, getting to his feet. "I won't be a minute." He shuffled off, leaving everyone staring at me in stunned amazement.

  "You're ruining my reputation!" Fink angrily hissed at me. "This is libel!"

  "It's all in a good cause," I told him. "Just bear with me for the moment."

  Our unfriendly dispenser of poison returned, balancing a tray of teacups and a pot of tea. Wordlessly, he handed the cups around and I poured out the tea. To fill up the silence, I chatted about inconsequential things and distributed the tea to everyone.

  We drank our beverage and when we were finished, our host said, "Now that the social niceties have been dispensed with, what exactly do you have in mind?"

  "It's what I've already said," I shrugged. "There's a certain personage we'd all like to see out of the way and wondered if you would help us to achieve that end."

  "Maybe," he said, distrustfully. "And maybe not. I'll think about it. What do you want first of all?"

  "Perhaps some information first," I replied, my voice level. "Where’s the antidote for the poison you use? We can't be too careful, you know."

  "What antidote?" he said, suddenly suspicious. "What are you talking about? I don't have any antidote."

  "Oh, I really hope you do," I told him gaily, pulling out the bowl with the poison in from my pocket and showing it to him, "because I put about three teaspoons of this into your tea while you weren't looking."

  "You did what?" he screamed, jumping up so hurriedly that he knocked over his chair.

  "Well, yes," I continued in a detached, scientific tone, ignoring Fink’s horrified expression, "if a single teaspoon can cause someone to die slowly, then three should speed up the process somewhat, eh? I’ll be interested to see how long it takes."

  "What have you done?!" he shrieked, goggling at me in utter terror. He stood frozen for a moment then abruptly dashed from the room.

  "After him!" I shouted to the others. "He’s going for the antidote!"

  I'd been fully expecting this reaction of his, so I ended up only seconds behind and found him in the next room, frantically scrabbling among items in a drawer.

  "I'll take that, if you don't mind," I told him, deftly twitching a bottle from his trembling hands.

  "Give that back!" he screeched, clawing at my arm.

  "Maybe later," I informed him. "But first of all, I'd like a few answers."

  Chapter 15

  Tracey and Fink held the distressed suspect and sat him forcefully down o
n a chair.

  "That's better," I proclaimed, tossing the bottle from hand to hand, causing the prisoner's face to twitch in apprehension every time I did so. "Now, we know you gave the poison to an accomplice to give to that female One," I told him. "The evidence against you is overwhelming, so don't bother trying to deny it. But the motive remains. Why did you do it?"

  "Why should I tell you anything?" he muttered, sullenly.

  "Because of this," I pointed out, showing him the bottle. "Of course, if you’re determined to die, then, by all means, don't say anything. But, if you do you answer the questions, I'll give you the bottle. Some of it, anyway. Now, question number one. This is the antidote, isn't it?"

  "Yes, it is," he agreed, almost as if the words were being dragged out of him with a rope attached to a tractor. "Now, give me some!"

  "Not so fast," I told him. "There's a few other questions I want to ask, but first I need to do something." Quickly looking around the room, I located an empty bottle, and tipped half the liquid into it. I screwed on the cap and handed it to Thorn.

  "You're the fastest of us, sweetheart," I proclaimed. "Fly to the hospital and give this to Tracey. The rest of us will stay here and see what else we can learn." I turned back to our prisoner and scowled fiercely at him. "And you'd better pray that she makes it in time, my friend, otherwise ……." Thorn ran out of the room, leaving us alone.

  "Question number two," I continued. "Why? I think we'd all like to know the answer to that one. Surely it couldn't have been a random decision."

  "You said she died!" our captive accused me in a betrayed voice.

  "I lied, I'm afraid," I told him bluntly. "I tend to do that sometimes." Our prisoner looked around at the ring of belligerent expressions facing him and his initial defiance melted.

  "I did it because she made a fool of me," he declared.

  "And how did she do that?" I asked.

  Then, as if the emotional floodgates had been opened, the imaginary justifications for his actions poured out. "I wanted to marry her," he told us angrily, his voice rising in indignation, "but would she listen? She turned me down! Me! I offered her everything! She spurned me! Told me to go away! Said that she could never love someone like me! Hah! Just who did she think she was? Nobody turns me down! She humiliated me! She thought herself so high-and-mighty, so I decided to teach her a lesson. Can you blame me? It was all her fault. She brought it on herself. I pleaded with her, but she still wouldn’t listen. What else could I have done? She was all I could think about, but now all I wanted was revenge, but I didn't know what to do or how best to punish her. I had all these schemes in my head, but none were sufficient to repay her for her callousness. And then a parcel arrived that gave me the answer. ‘A teaspoon of this,’ the note said, ‘and all your troubles will be over.’ The box contained the antidote too, just in case. It was exactly what I wanted, so I planned everything. I'm not to blame! It wasn't my fault! It was her! She refused me! I didn't do anything wrong!"

  His diatribe ended with a strangled sob and he dropped his head into his hands. We looked at each other, appalled at his confession.

  "So you tried to kill the one you said you loved?" Quina whispered in shock. "I've never heard of anything so vile. How can you live with yourself?"

  Our would-be murderer’s head jerked up. "Weren't you listening?" he shouted. "It wasn’t me! She did it! My conscience is clear! Blame her! She tormented me! Teased me with her body and her beautiful face! I'm not the one at fault here! She deserved it! I didn't want to do it, but she forced me into it. There was nothing else I could have done. Anyone would have done the same."

  "I don't think so," I told him softly, feeling a strange sympathy for his condition. "I don't think so at all." I turned to Fink and said, "He’s all yours."

  Chapter 16

  Fink roughly hauled our prisoner to his feet and announced, "You're coming with me, my fine fellow, and don't give me any trouble because I'm not feeling in a very charitable mood right now."

  The captive began to struggle in Fink’s grasp. "The antidote!" he screamed. "I want the antidote! You promised me! You can't just let me die!"

  "It’s no more than you deserve," I told him cruelly, "but there's no need to worry. I didn't actually give you the poison in the first place."

  "What!" he exclaimed, dumbfounded. "What do you mean?"

  "I mean that I never really gave you the poison," I repeated, patiently. "I just said that I did." It took a few seconds for the implication of what I told him to sink in.

  "You tricked me!" he shrieked in fury.

  "Sorry about that," I told him, unrepentantly. "But I had to find the antidote as quickly as possible and you were the only one who knew where it was."

  "But you lied to me!" he squeaked in a disbelieving tone. "How could you? Don’t you have any morals at all?"

  "Blimey, you should talk," I told him, astonished at the brazen effrontery of his accusation.

  It was at this stage that he began swearing at me. I'd never heard such language from a One before. He was quite inventive, invoking my reluctant admiration for his imaginative cursing. Fink dragged him away, but I could still hear him yelling insults about my parentage from the street.

  "So, it was all pretence," Quina remarked, staring at me in amazement.

  "Of course it was," I told her. "I wasn't going to actually poison the poor sod. What do you take me for? I just wanted to scare him enough so he'd show us where he’d hidden the antidote."

  "You astound me," Quina murmured. "Are all humans so devious?"

  "A fair number," I replied offhandedly. "I'm not proud of it, but the situation called for drastic measures." Then I smiled with profound relief. "The antidote worked! Tracey’s come out of her coma!"

  Trix uttered a squeal of joy and jumped into my arms. I hugged her enthusiastically and we danced around and around like lunatics as Quina looked on with a tolerant smile. Zen joined in and began barking and running about like a demented hummingbird . I’m afraid the three of us made an awful lot of noise but, after all, it was a festive moment. My beloved Tracey had been snatched from the jaws of death in the nick of time and if that wasn’t worth a bit of noise then I didn’t know what was.

  After reducing some of our initial euphoria, we wasted no time in traipsing to the hospital. There, we gathered around Tracey’s bed in celebration. I was anticipating a modicum of fireworks when Quina encountered Doctor Totil, and I wasn't disappointed.

  "What have you done?" Totil demanded. "Who gave you permission to treat my patient?"

  "I didn't need your permission," Quina responded with some heat. "Besides, look at her! She's cured!"

  "I'll be the judge of that," he replied, stiffly.

  "For heaven's sake, Totil," Quina said in exasperation. "Don't be such a prig! Why can't you admit for once that this is outside your narrow-minded jurisdictions? You couldn't cure her. You didn't even know what was wrong with her! And now she’s better, thanks to us. Not you, us! Just how do you explain that?"

  He shrugged. "These things happen," he answered glibly.

  "Is that all you’re going to say?" Quina asked, softly.

  "For the moment," Totil replied in a lofty manner. Then he paused, obviously struggling with an inner torment. Finally, he threw up his hands in surrender and demanded, "Okay, I give up! What did you do? How did you cure her?"

  Others might have gloated over their victory, but Quina remained magnanimous. "We discovered that she’d been poisoned and gave her the antidote," she explained.

  "Poisoned?" Totil remarked. "But we ran all the tests for poison."

  "It must be a new one, then," Quina told him.

  "Do you have a sample?" he asked. "I'd like the antidote too, if you still have some. We'll need the both of those in case it ever happens again." I handed over the poison bowl and what remained of the antidote.

  "Excellent," Totil told me. He started to walk away, then turned around. "Thank you for saving her," he said. "Losing patien
ts is the one thing I dread the most, and in this case I’d truly lost all hope." With that, he strode off.

  "Well, what did you think of that?" Thorn asked.

  "It hurt him to admit it," Quina murmured, "but for Totil to acknowledge an outside contribution is a step in the right direction. He really does care for the well-being of his patients, you know, and he'll do anything to ensure their health. Anything, that is, that's within his known guidelines. But I think we've caused a few ripples in his pond with this little episode and I believe he’ll be the better for it."

  Chapter 17

  After that, we went back to our celebration. My other self had already described the perpetrator’s description to Tracey and, after a fair bit of thought, she told us that she remembered who it was.

  "Took you long enough," Thorn snidely commented. "Of course, I can understand why. It must have been difficult to sift through the faces of all those thousands of boyfriends you've had over the years. I’m astonished you could remember any of them at all."

  Tracey flushed. "Don't be so mean, Arugohumna," she rebuked. "Just because I liked to enjoy myself when I was younger doesn't give you the right to pick on me now. You were always such a Miss Grumpy Face in those days. You never wanted to do anything fun at all."

  "I didn't get the chance, did I?" Thorn replied, scowling. "You cornered the market in boys. There wasn’t a single one left over for anyone else."

  "That's not true!" Tracey objected. "You exaggerate everything! You're such a …... a waffling wombat!"

  "Okay, now that's a new one," Quina muttered to Trix. "What's a wombat?"

  "It's something that Stephen introduced to us," Trix answered. "Apparently they’re lovable and cuddly but not very bright. At least, that's what he says."

  "Intriguing," Quina said, wistfully. "You know, I'd love to visit the human world one day. It'd be fascinating."

  "Fascinating, but dangerous," Trix advised. "Some of the stories Stephen tells about where he lives are terrifying."