Hell to Heaven

by Kylie Chan

‘Just goes to show how far apart we are,’ Ma said. He moved to stand behind me as a Retainer.

  I sat at the table. ‘Now, what did you want to talk to me about?’

  ‘You’re searching for ways to clear the demon essence from you. Just let me do it, dear Emma, and you can be ready for him when he returns.’

  I rose again. ‘If that’s all you’re here for, you’re wasting your time.’

  He spread his hands without rising. ‘Maybe we can negotiate something.’

  ‘As long as it involves me prostituting myself to you, we have nothing to talk about.’

  He didn’t move, hands still spread. ‘As I said, maybe we can negotiate something.’

  ‘What do I have that you want, except for demon spawn?’ I said.

  ‘Oh, many things,’ he said, jolly. ‘Safe passage Above, certain Celestials who have been a complete pain in the ass to me, some homely women…There are any number of things I could name.’

  ‘I do not negotiate with demons,’ I said stiffly.

  He leaned over the table and grinned at me. ‘You’re doing it again.’

  ‘Good,’ I said. ‘That means I know exactly how to deal with you.’

  ‘Whatever,’ he said, and rose.

  Noise clashed around us and the people in the coffee shop reappeared. Ma quickly changed back to his usual human form.

  ‘Let me send you some suggestions of what would be a suitable trade for your humanity,’ the King said. ‘Have a look through, and if you see something you like, let me know. You still have my phone, don’t you?’

  ‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘Neat trick how it always changes to the latest model.’

  ‘Only the best for my Emma,’ he said, and disappeared.

  ‘Doing what again?’ Ma said.

  ‘Sounding like John,’ I said.

  He nodded. ‘That you do sometimes.’

  ‘Do you think I’m his Serpent, Ma?’

  ‘You’ve been in the same room as his Serpent, ma’am, and not even he can be in three places at the same time.’ His face changed to thoughtful. ‘No, I take that back. I don’t think there’s much that he can’t do.’

  ‘Thanks for that, that was just what I needed to hear,’ I said. I nodded to him, more serious. ‘And thanks for hanging around.’

  ‘I would have been more comfortable leaving and letting you face him alone as a display of my faith in you,’ he said. ‘But protocol demanded that I remain in my capacity as Retainer.’

  ‘I know, and I appreciate it. Either way.’

  ‘I’ve given your secretary the details of your appointment with the Archivist,’ Ma said. ‘Talk to him before you go traipsing off to see Nu Wa; you may be able to avoid seeing her altogether. The Heavens know, last time someone visited her it caused a war.’

  ‘Nobody’s been to see her since the Shang/Zhou?’ I said.

  He shook his head. ‘Nobody’s been brave enough.’

  ‘Would a visit annoy her? I really don’t want to walk into the home of one of the most powerful Shen in creation if she’s pissed.’

  ‘Impossible to tell. Nobody’s spoken to her in thousands of years. Even before that, she was a recluse. You know the stories: she is as ancient as time and as powerful as nature. Approach her cautiously.’

  ‘If the Archivist can help me, I won’t have to approach her at all.’

  ‘That would be the ideal situation.’

  He saluted me quickly and we went out together. I took the lift back up to the Academy; he disappeared.

  CHAPTER 9

  When I returned to my office the White Tiger was stretched across the doorway in True Form. Even lying down he was nearly a metre tall.

  I glared at him. ‘What are you doing here? I just left your palace last night. And how am I supposed to get any work done when I can’t get into my office?’

  ‘You and Ah Wu are as bad as each other, working your asses off,’ the Tiger said without moving. ‘A real leader delegates everything and spends their time eating and screwing. I only need to work at most about ten minutes a day, and even then it’s just “yes” or “no”. When are you going to learn?’

  ‘I prefer a more hands-on approach and less eating and screwing,’ I said. I gestured towards him. ‘Get out of the damn way.’

  ‘Yeah, well in your case, with the vegetarianism and celibacy, you might as well be hands-on and keep yourself distracted. I don’t know how you do it.’ He rose, stretched out his front legs like a house cat and scraped his claws on the carpet. ‘I need to talk to you.’

  ‘Don’t tear up my carpet!’ I said.

  He moved to one side and I opened the office door to let us both in.

  ‘Shall I order a cat-scratching post, ma’am?’ Yi Hao called from her desk.

  ‘Yes, please,’ I called back, and closed the door on her giggles.

  ‘Oh, very funny. I eat demons like that for breakfast,’ the Tiger said.

  I opened the office door again. ‘And a giant-sized cat collar and bell,’ I added.

  Yi Hao screeched with laughter.

  I closed the door and sat behind my desk. ‘Just the person I wanted to see. I need help.’

  He took human form, leaned against the wall, crossed his arms over his chest and scowled. ‘I told you to talk to the people in the Northern Heavens about feeding your serpent.’

  ‘Not feeding the snake. John told me to go see Nu Wa, and I think I’ll need a hand with that.’

  His expression changed from suspicious to resigned and he flopped to sit in the chair across from me. ‘That’s a big ask. Anyone with any sense stays well away from her.’

  ‘It shouldn’t be that bad, Bai Hu. It’s only on the Third Platform—’

  ‘How do you know about the Three Platforms?’ he said.

  ‘Oh, come on, Bai Hu, its full name is Seven Stars Sword of the Three Platforms. Do you think I’m stupid?’

  He rubbed one hand over his face. ‘I keep forgetting exactly how much you aren’t.’

  ‘So I need to see Nu Wa on the Celestial, but I’ll need a hand getting there because of the cold. You’re the perfect person to help, being the Lesser Yang.’

  ‘I pull out full yang anywhere near you and you’ll be incinerated. Like being in the centre of a nuclear blast. Maybe you are stupid.’

  ‘She’s up about twice as high as Everest. It’ll be bitterly cold, there won’t be enough oxygen for a mortal like me to breathe—’

  ‘So wear a spacesuit,’ he snapped. ‘I’ll even provide one for you.’

  ‘And I have to go in serpent form since it’s on the Celestial. Do you have a long, narrow spacesuit you can lend me?’

  He sighed loudly, leaned back and put his hands behind his head. ‘The things you ask for. A snake spacesuit. Now I’ve heard everything.’

  ‘But you have ordinary human spacesuits?’

  ‘Of course I do. Some of the wives are thrillseekers and love being taken up into orbit. After a nasty accident where I became…’ he hesitated ‘…distracted, I decided to make them wear spacesuits when I take them up there.’

  ‘I do not believe you sometimes! Someone died because you can’t keep your mind off your gonads?’

  He shrugged. ‘Can’t stop me being what I am.’

  ‘Where do you have the suits made? Maybe I can get a special suit designed.’

  ‘I’ll see what I can do. A human suit might be okay; if you can make yourself small enough, we can just pop you in. Leave it with me. But I want something in return.’

  It was my turn to be suspicious. ‘What?’

  He grinned. ‘The blood sample you promised you’d give me when you visited the West. You never coughed up. So you’re coming down to the shoebox that passes for an infirmary in this place and giving me some right now.’

  ‘I never promised any such thing.’

  ‘Beside the point now, ‘cause if you want something to keep you warm and alive when you visit Nu Wa, you’ll provide it anyway.’

  ‘Oh, okay.’
I went around the desk and opened the door. ‘Yi Hao, is Edwin in the infirmary?’

  Yi Hao’s face went blank for a moment, then she nodded. ‘He’s there, ma’am, and asks if there is a problem.’

  ‘Tell him we’re coming down to give the Tiger a blood sample from me. It isn’t enough that the damn cat gets our best students when they’re fully trained, now he wants my blood as well.’

  ‘That’s a lie and you know it,’ the Tiger growled behind me. ‘The Jade Emperor gets your best graduates and you leave me with the rejects.’

  ‘If you don’t want my rejects, let me know, because there are more people asking for our graduates than we can spare. I’m sure some Celestial residents would be delighted to take them.’

  ‘Just give me the damn blood so I can get the fuck out of here,’ he said.

  ‘Mind your language in front of my rejects.’

  ‘Humph.’

  After we had given the blood sample to the Tiger, I asked him: ‘Do you think you can carry me to Wudang? I have a couple of things I need to do. Won’t take more than thirty minutes.’

  ‘Which one?’ he said.

  ‘Celestial.’

  He studied me appraisingly. ‘No. You’re too fat.’

  I changed into serpent form. ‘I love you too.’

  We landed in the main forecourt of the Celestial Wudang Mountain, an area about a hundred and fifty metres to a side and tiled with dark grey slate. It was used for the grandest displays of martial arts and the regular Taoist ceremonies held at the Mountain. The Hall of Purple Mist, majestic with its black roof and polished slate walls, stood to our north, facing Imperial south. To the east and west stood Dragon Tiger and True Way Halls. The Golden Temple rose on the highest peak behind Purple Mist, at least another hundred metres above us. Its gold walls and roof shone in the brilliant Celestial sun.

  The Tiger put his hands on his hips and looked around. ‘I haven’t been here in a while. Good job on fixing it up.’

  I slithered towards True Way, heading to the part of the complex where the forge was located. ‘I don’t like coming up here. It’s too quiet.’

  The Tiger stopped and I waited for him. The only sound was the breeze whispering through the buildings and the rustle of the pine trees that covered the hillside around us.

  ‘I see what you mean,’ he said. ‘Wudang was never this quiet. There was always the noise and shouting of the Disciples, and the drums and chanting in the temples.’ He shook his head and caught up with me. ‘Spooky.’

  We walked together along a narrow path that cut into the hillside. About three hundred metres on we came to a soaring arched bridge that straddled the deep gorge between the peaks. The breeze carried clouds below us, making the deep green pines in the gorge disappear and reappear. I led the Tiger around the edge of the peak and through a narrow passage to the next peak. A complex of smaller buildings, without open areas for practice, stood at the end of the passage. There was more noise here—no voices, but the gentle background sounds of people busy about their lives. As we neared the forge, the smell of burning and clanging of metal being struck became apparent.

  ‘Good to see the Wudang forge back up,’ the Tiger said. ‘Must send some orders in.’

  ‘Go right ahead,’ I said. The revenue from the sale of some Wudang weapons would be welcome. ‘Tell your friends. We have plenty of demons trained and working; we can handle any size order.’

  He grinned at me. ‘You give me good price, okay?’

  ‘Yeah, dream on, Devil Tiger.’

  We walked down four flights of stairs, flanked by small cypress trees, to the forge itself, with its well-worn rough stone bricks and clumsily put-together walls. The demons working there dropped to their knees when we entered, touching their heads to the floor; a couple of them fled in terror.

  ‘You may rise,’ I said to the head demon. ‘I’ve come to check the status of the sword being forged for the Black Lion.’

  The head demon pulled himself to his feet and grinned broadly. ‘We will be fitting the handle tomorrow, ma’am, it has nearly cooled sufficiently. Please, come and see.’

  He guided me past the cowering demons to the racks in the oven where weapons were gently cooled from the forging process. Cooling them too fast would make them brittle. He gestured towards a single black sword resting on the highest rack by itself. The simple metal spike that would be the base for the handle looked incongruous protruding from the slender black blade.

  The Tiger eyed it appreciatively. ‘Is it too long?’

  ‘The Masters say it’s the best length for him,’ I said.

  The sword was almost two metres long and Japanese katana style. There’d been some discussion about the most suitable blade for Leo to wield, and the consensus among the Masters and the forge staff was that for someone of his size, the light and slender but balanced and deadly katana style was the way to go. I hoped Leo would appreciate it.

  The handle sat on another rack nearby. It hadn’t had the final leather wrap put around it yet and its studded black metal gleamed in the lights of the forge. It was decorated with the head of a black lion, mouth open to reveal its fangs. The lion’s eyes were covered with a strip of red paper, so that a demon could not possess it before it was blessed and its spirit entered it.

  ‘What are you going to wrap it in?’ the Tiger asked the head demon.

  ‘Ray skin,’ the demon said. ‘Maybe even some thick sharkskin if we can get our hands on it.’

  The Tiger glanced up from the handle. ‘Don’t wrap it yet. I have some skin taken from one of the biggest sharks that ever lived. I caught it a couple of hundred years ago, with my own claws, off a tiny fishing boat in the South China Sea. I had the skin tanned; it’s not black, but you can dye it. It would be perfect.’

  The demon grinned with delight. ‘My thanks, sir, that would be more than suitable.’

  ‘Thanks, Tiger,’ I said. I turned to the demon. ‘When are you planning to put it together?’

  ‘We were planning to wrap and fit the handle tomorrow, sharpen the blade the next day, and then have it blessed three days from now,’ the demon said. He bobbed his head at the Tiger. ‘Now we will wait until the sharkskin arrives.’

  ‘I’ll have it here for you tomorrow,’ the Tiger said.

  The demon shrugged. ‘Then it will be right on schedule.’ He nodded to me. ‘You can present it to Lord Leo anytime after that, ma’am.’

  ‘I’ll need to send out invitations, so at least five days after that,’ I said.

  My next stop was the mess hall, where the head caterer, a human Immortal, was preparing food for the demon workers.

  ‘The sword will be ready in three to four days,’ I said. ‘Can we hold the presentation ceremony in about nine or ten days?’

  He quickly checked the calendar. ‘Neither of those days are auspicious, but the day after, eleven days from now, is a good time to give gifts.’

  ‘Done,’ I said. ‘I’ll have Yi Hao give you a list of who to invite.’

  He nodded. ‘Looking forward to it, ma’am, it’s way too quiet around here. I’m sure the demons that turned from the service of One Two Two will be delighted to see the Disciples back here where they belong, celebrating.’ His smile faded. ‘Is there any word on the possibility of changing you back so that the Academy can be moved back here? That is what we all want to see, ma’am, the buildings and courts full of students again.’

  ‘I have some leads that Xuan Wu himself gave me,’ I said. ‘They sound difficult but I’m determined.’

  ‘That’s good to hear, ma’am.’

  I led the Tiger back along the narrow path cut into the side of the cliff and to the main forecourt in front of the Hall of Purple Mist.

  ‘Before you take me back down, could you give me a few minutes alone in the temple?’ I said.

  The Tiger changed to True Form and stretched out on the stones in the sunshine. ‘Go right ahead. I’m not going anywhere.’

  I slithered up the narrow st
airs to the temple. The Celestial version of the Golden Temple was double the size of the one on Earthly Wudangshan. Statues of the Xuan Wu—the snake/turtle combination of John’s True Form—guarded each side of the entrance, the snake wrapped around the turtle’s shell and disappearing into it where they touched. Inside the temple was a statue of John in Celestial Form—a black-skinned human with wild hair and a small goatee, sitting on a throne and holding a sword across his knees. The sword was Seven Stars. A snake and turtle were beneath each of his bare feet. An altar was laid out in front of him, holding two vases of flowers, cups of wine and burning incense. A screen stood behind him.

  I curled up my coils and sat in front of his effigy. His black fierce face gazed at me and he seemed ready to leap up and cut off my serpent head with the sword.

  I meditated on the lives of those who had died because of the battle between Heaven and Hell. Charlie, Rhonda, Regina: women who had died caring for others rather than fighting, the way so many women in the world’s conflicts died. The Disciples who had died defending the Mountain—the stronghold against the forces of Hell. April, whose naivety had killed both her and her child. The fox spirit who had died trying to hide herself and protect her child, who had died anyway. All the stone Shen destroyed by Six. It was a long list and I wished I could shed a tear for them all, but it wasn’t possible in serpent form. Many of them had chosen their path and died with honour, but for some their deaths were what those in the military blithely called ‘collateral damage’ and dismissed as part of the necessity of war.

  Even though John was God of the Arts of War, he had never revelled in war and had always sought negotiation first. He was a study in contradictions, being the greatest fighter in existence and at the same time holding a deep abhorrence for killing. It didn’t stop people from dying, however. Always so many people giving their lives, even more so recently because John was no longer present to protect them.

  I raised my serpent head. I wasn’t a fighter of his calibre but I would do my best to protect those who needed protection. I nodded to John, and his statue stared fiercely back at me.

  I turned. I was on top of the highest peak in Celestial Wudangshan and the view was breathtaking. The mountains below me spread as far as I could see, their bases covered in mist and their peaks jagged and sharp. Something to do with the altitude and the geography made it seem that all the lower peaks were facing this highest peak and bowing to it. I turned back to glance at John’s statue and bowed to him. My warm, caring, generous, reptilian god.