Hell to Heaven

by Kylie Chan

  ‘Emma, remove me and drop me,’ the stone said.

  Removing the stone would involve…something to do with fingers. I rallied my awareness. ‘I don’t think so. John gave you to me, you represent…’ I tried to remember. ‘You represent something important to me.’

  ‘She is unable to retain her awareness here, Majesty,’ Ma said. ‘If we cannot see the Purities soon, she will be lost.’

  Suddenly I was thinking more clearly than I’d ever thought before. The solution to the problem with the demon essence was obvious. ‘Oh, I know how to fix it. Just let me back down to the Earthly, no need to bother anybody now. It’s an interesting mix of traditional alchemical principles—’

  ‘That you will lose the minute you touch the Earthly,’ Ma said. ‘He’s cleared your mind so you can tell him what you want.’

  ‘And made me more intelligent as a side effect,’ I said.

  ‘No,’ the Worthy said. ‘Just clearer. Now what is it that you seek, madam?’

  I fell to one knee and bowed my head. ‘I seek the assistance of the Three Pure Ones. I have been filled with demon essence and they may have the power to clear it. Also, I would love to hear any thoughts they have on what I am.’

  ‘I will return directly,’ the Worthy said, and his dark shape disappeared.

  My mind immediately went blank and I tried to focus.

  ‘Don’t force it,’ Ma said. ‘They’ll give your mind back when they return.’

  ‘I had the solution,’ I said softly. ‘It was so clear.’

  ‘Nothing will ever be as clear again. When you return, it will be gone.’

  I wanted to be angry for some reason but I couldn’t remember why.

  A building moved towards us through the greyness. It had no walls, just pillars holding up the traditional roof, and was constructed of dark polished wood. The floor was of woven rice mats—tatami mats.

  Ma inhaled sharply. ‘All three.’

  Three elderly gentlemen sat in the centre of the building side by side. Their faces were impossible to make out. I was aware that their robes were complex but I couldn’t see them. I couldn’t see anything. I couldn’t think anything. What was I doing?

  Ma held my hand tighter. ‘Focus, Emma. For John.’

  ‘John?’ I said. ‘Who’s John?’

  Someone slid into view next to us, still almost invisible in the grey. ‘You may approach.’

  ‘Where am I?’ I said.

  Emma, focus, you’re on the First Platform and about to address the Three Purities. Don’t lose it, dear one, keep yourself together, for your love, an English voice said.

  ‘That’s funny, you sound English,’ I said.

  ‘I beg your indulgence, Celestial Worthy, my mistress’s mind is failing,’ the stone said. ‘Please assist her, or her journey here will be for nothing.’

  ‘Silence, worthless stone!’ the dark shape said.

  ‘The stone speaks the truth, Majesty,’ Ma said. ‘The world below needs the Dark Lord’s power. Once again the demon horde has risen—’

  ‘We just helped you with that!’ the Worthy said.

  ‘And the Dark Lord needs the love of this woman to assist him—’

  ‘Of all the Celestials, the Dark Lord should know that love is an Earthly emotion that ties you to the World of Ruin,’ the Worthy said. ‘Do you have anything worthwhile to bring to the attention of the Purities, or are you as worthless as the stone you have brought here with you?’

  Emma! the stone said, its voice fierce. Emma, if you want their help, you have to snap out of it now and talk to them!

  Someone took my free hand; another dark shape that I couldn’t make out. Its grip was cold as ice and I shivered, trying to free myself.

  ‘Don’t,’ John said. ‘Let me help you.’

  ‘My Lord,’ Ma said with awe.

  A rush of ice-cold clarity gave me an instant brain freeze and I bent double at the pain.

  The cold grip disappeared. I straightened, pulled Ma with me to the building, stepped up onto the platform, then fell to one knee. ‘Please, help me.’

  ‘Approach,’ the middle man said, still sitting cross-legged on the floor.

  I released Ma’s hand, rose and took a couple of steps so that I was in front of the Purity, then kneeled again, this time on both knees. He was still almost impossible to make out.

  He reached inside his robes and took out something white and circular. He placed it on the matting in front of me. ‘Take this. This will assist you in the time of need that fast approaches.’

  I picked it up; it was a circular piece of white jade, about ten centimetres across, carved with the image of the Xuan Wu in animal form—the snake and turtle intertwined.

  ‘Will this remove the demon essence from me?’ I said.

  ‘What demon essence?’ the Upper Purity said.

  ‘I am full of demon essence, Pure One. It interferes with…with…with everything.’

  ‘And why have you come to us?’

  ‘To ask you to help me. To clear me of the demon essence so that I can walk the Celestial once again.’

  ‘You can walk the Celestial now, just not with your legs.’

  ‘I fear that I will change, Pure One. The demon essence will take control of me and I will hurt the ones I love.’

  ‘We always hurt the ones we love; that is the nature of the World of Ruin. Love is but a selfish fallacy that leads to suffering.’

  ‘I beg of you, Majesties, please clear this demon essence from me.’

  ‘We will not change your essence. You must be what you are; that is the Way.’

  I took a deep breath and tried a different tack. ‘I do not know what I am, and I ask your assistance in helping me to find out.’

  ‘Do you live?’ the Jade Purity on my left said.

  I bowed my head. ‘Yes. I live.’

  ‘What do you know?’

  ‘I know nothing.’

  ‘Good. A beginning. Do you sleep?’

  ‘Yes, Majesty.’

  ‘When you wake, what is your first thought?’

  ‘Uh…’ The clarity was leaving me. ‘That my family is safe.’

  ‘Your first thought is not “what am I”?’

  ‘No, Majesty, the ones I love come first.’

  ‘You are a small mote of wisdom, little one. Well met.’

  ‘Can you help me?’

  ‘You do not need our help,’ the Great Purity on my right said, and they disappeared.

  ‘You are free to go. You have been given a gift of mighty power; treasure it,’ the Celestial Worthy said, and his dark shape disappeared as well.

  I wanted to feel frustrated but I had trouble feeling anything.

  ‘This is unusual,’ Ma said from somewhere nearby. ‘Usually when they’re done with me they return me to the Earthly. Looks like we have to find our own way down.’

  I was lost. Everything was grey and I didn’t really care. I was dissolving and it was peaceful.

  ‘Emma, say something,’ Ma said.

  ‘Over here,’ the English voice said.

  ‘I’m trying to get to you,’ Ma said. ‘It’s starting to affect me, I won’t be able to keep it up much longer…’

  ‘I think you’re close,’ the voice said.

  Something dark sliced through the greyness next to me: a bolt of black, icy coldness. It gripped me, holding me immobile, but I didn’t really care.

  ‘Ma,’ it said.

  ‘Here,’ Ma said, somewhere to my left and fading away.

  I was ripped sideways and then jarred to a halt, the momentum flinging my nonexistent limbs around. The cold blackness began to hurt me, like ice on bare skin, but I was so tired that I didn’t really care. My mind was numb.

  ‘You’re killing her,’ Ma said.

  ‘Everything’s killing her,’ the darkness said. ‘Hold on tight.’

  I shot upright to sitting position and took a huge gasping breath. Someone held my hand. ‘Hold on, Emma, you’re safe.’

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nbsp; I fell back and someone caught me. The light was blinding and I screwed up my eyes, trying to focus. I put my hand to my swollen, tender head and the world spun around me. I shot upright again, unable to control myself, and vomited to one side.

  ‘Oh, charming,’ Simone said.

  ‘All over the cashmere,’ Leo said. ‘Ruined.’

  I retched a few times, and tried to open my eyes. Someone gave me some tissues and I wiped my mouth, then ineffectually mopped my saturated jumper.

  ‘What’s this?’ Leo said.

  ‘It’s jade,’ Chang said. ‘White jade—the Xuan Wu—it must be priceless.’

  ‘She won’t let go of it,’ Leo said.

  ‘Leave it then,’ Simone said. ‘Should we drop her at the infirmary or just take her home?’

  ‘How long have I been gone?’ I said.

  ‘Two days.’

  I snapped open my eyes. ‘But that means the evaluation is in two days and we’re not nearly ready!’ The light seared through my head, frying my brain, and I hissed with pain and closed my eyes again.

  I heard footsteps. A fourth person had entered. I prised open my eyelids and saw a blurry version of Edwin, the Academy doctor.

  ‘Vomiting, sensitivity to light—I didn’t know Lady Emma suffered from migraine headaches,’ he said.

  ‘I don’t,’ I said.

  ‘Well, that’s what this is,’ Edwin said. ‘Take her home and put her to bed in a dark room with…I was about to say powerful painkillers but they won’t work on you. So, Emma, take serpent form at home and curl up in a beanbag. You’ll be fine.’

  ‘We have an evaluation…’ I said.

  ‘Yes, we do, and it’s all under control,’ Simone said. ‘Leo, can you get out of the chair to carry her?’

  ‘No,’ Leo said. ‘Chang, you do it. Take her down to the car and drive her home. I’ll meet you there.’

  ‘Yes, sir,’ Chang said, and I felt myself lifted by strong arms.

  CHAPTER 29

  The hot water felt so good against my skin, helping the pain to subside. Strong arms held me and I relaxed and enjoyed…

  ‘Wait,’ I said, and forced open my eyes. ‘Leo?’

  ‘You got some in your hair,’ he said. ‘Stay still.’

  ‘Nice boxers.’

  ‘Yeah, I wish I could say the same for you, sweetheart. I need to go shopping for you again.’

  ‘You don’t know what size I am.’

  He turned the water off. ‘All clean. And yes, I do, although it’s obvious that you don’t.’

  ‘A girl can dream,’ I said as he wrapped me in a huge fluffy towel like a child. ‘Your chair okay with the water on it?’

  ‘Yeah, it’s aluminum,’ he said. ‘It won’t rust.’

  ‘Aluminium.’

  ‘Aluminum! We had that fight and I won!’

  He popped me into his lap and wheeled into my room.

  ‘I can dress myself now,’ I said.

  ‘I’m not leaving till I see you stand up by yourself.’

  I pulled myself off his lap, clutched the towel around me, slid my feet onto the floor and forced myself upright. The world had other ideas, however, tipping me over so that I fell back into his lap.

  ‘Looks like I have to dry you and dress you myself.’ He roughly rubbed me with the towel, making me giggle.

  ‘That’s what I like to hear,’ he said. ‘I hardly ever hear you laugh any more.’

  ‘We’ll have more laughs together when John comes back.’

  He hesitated, then, ‘I hope we do.’

  I gasped. ‘Where’s the jade they gave me?’

  He reached for my pyjamas and passed them to me. ‘Here, on the bed, don’t panic. What does it do?’

  ‘I have no idea,’ I said as I pulled the pyjama top over my head. ‘They just said it would help me in my time of need.’

  ‘Touch it to me,’ the stone said.

  ‘Wait till I have pants on,’ I said.

  ‘Overrated,’ the stone said.

  ‘If I were you I would be locking this dirty old man out of your room, Emma,’ Leo said.

  ‘Does nothing for me, same as you,’ the stone said.

  ‘Emma told me about you,’ Leo said.

  The stone was silent at that.

  I pulled my pants on and touched the jade to the stone.

  ‘This is a demon destroyer,’ the stone said. ‘Touch it and order it, and it will destroy every demon within two hundred metres or so. All of them.’

  ‘Wait,’ I said, and fell to sit on the bed. ‘Will it destroy me?’

  The stone was silent for a moment, then said, ‘Yes.’

  ‘Then don’t use it; give it to someone else,’ Leo said.

  ‘It can’t be used by anyone else,’ the stone said.

  ‘They didn’t happen to clear the demon essence out of me when I wasn’t looking, did they?’

  ‘No. This jade will destroy you.’

  ‘And they said I would need to use it,’ I said.

  ‘Well, that’s good news,’ Leo said. ‘It means that you’ll be cleared of the demon nature before you need to use it.’

  I tossed the jade in my hand. ‘Kwan Yin said I had to go to the First Platform immediately. The only thing I got out of it…was this.’

  ‘You use that thing and none of us will ever forgive you,’ Leo said.

  ‘If she uses that thing then there won’t be anyone to forgive,’ the stone said.

  Leo pulled the covers back and lifted my legs to slip them between the sheets. ‘Rest now. If you want to change to snake and lie on the beanbags, give me a shout and I’ll carry you across.’

  ‘I have to get to Guangzhou,’ I said. ‘Are the students there yet? We need to be ready—’

  ‘Rest! That’s an order, Miss Mortal, from a Shen. Me. Shut up and rest. It’s all under control.’

  ‘Leo the Shen.’

  ‘Damn straight, lady. The Lius have it under control, the students are at the house, Chang will drive you there tomorrow—’

  ‘The car isn’t registered in China. It can’t go over.’

  Leo started to wheel himself out of my room. ‘It has the old plates on it, which’ll do until we get new plates. Don’t worry, Emma, it’s all taken care of. Rest.’

  ‘The Second Platform is so beautiful, Leo.’

  He stopped and turned back. ‘The place where the Buddhas live?’

  ‘Yes. The air is like…The sky is…It’s wonderful.’

  ‘I thought it would be kind of like…emptiness. Nothing. That’s what they say Nirvana is.’

  ‘That was her mortal and unenlightened mind trying to make sense of it,’ the stone said.

  ‘What was the highest platform like?’ Leo said.

  ‘Grey.’

  ‘It nearly killed her,’ the stone said.

  ‘Not a place you want to go back to,’ I said.

  Leo wheeled himself towards the door again. ‘This supernatural stuff completely freaks me out.’

  ‘Thank you, Mr Shen.’

  ‘You’re welcome, Miss Mortal.’

  I made myself more comfortable under the quilt. ‘Bastard,’ I said under my breath.

  I heard that.

  When I opened my bedroom door the next morning, Leo, Monica and Simone were standing in the hall waiting for me.

  ‘See, told you she was awake. You sure you’re strong enough, Emma?’ Simone said. ‘Ma told me what you went through.’

  ‘I’m fine,’ I said, gesturing for her to move out of the way so I could pass.

  ‘I’ve made you some breakfast, ma’am; fresh peanut butter on the table,’ Monica said.

  I walked past them down the hall towards the living room. ‘I’ll eat something on the way, thanks, Monica.’

  ‘You don’t need to rush over there,’ Leo said. ‘It’s all under control; the Lius are giving the students some last-minute tips, it’s fine! At least eat something; you didn’t eat anything last night.’

  ‘Edwin said you must eat,
Emma, otherwise that migraine will come back,’ Simone said.

  ‘Wholemeal toast, just the way you like it, still hot,’ Monica said. ‘And a nice cup of tea.’

  I turned to her. ‘Could you put it in a thermos so I can take it with me?’

  ‘What’s a thermos?’ Monica said, turning to Leo and Simone.

  ‘A vacuum flask,’ Simone said. She saw Monica’s still-confused face. ‘One of those things you use to keep drinks hot.’

  ‘Oh, the Japanese thing the Master bought,’ she said. ‘I thought that was just for Chinese tea. You can put Western drinks in it too?’

  ‘Yes, you can, so hurry up. Where’s Chang?’ I said.

  Chang was waiting for me in the living room, holding the car keys. ‘I’m here, ready to take you, ma’am.’

  ‘At last! Someone who’ll listen to me,’ I said. I opened the shoe cupboard and pulled out my loafers. ‘Straight to the house in Guangzhou. I have my passport; do you have your ID card?’

  ‘Yes, ma’am, all ready to go,’ Chang said, his face bright with pride.

  ‘You are not going without eating something!’ Leo said, pointing at me. He dropped his hand. ‘Chang, you are not to take her anywhere until I tell you that you can.’

  Chang looked from Leo to me. ‘Lady Emma hasn’t eaten anything? After yesterday?’

  ‘Just take five minutes and eat something, Emma, please,’ Simone said. ‘It won’t make any difference to the students if you arrive five minutes later. They’re all set and ready to go.’

  ‘Chang, you are ordered to stay here until Lady Emma has eaten,’ Leo said, his deep voice full of command.

  Chang crossed his arms over his chest and sat down on the couch. ‘I’m sorry, ma’am, but I agree with them. Eat something and then I’ll take you.’

  I spun on the spot and saw all their faces full of determination. Simone had her hands on her hips and was glaring at me. Monica was wringing her hands. Leo had his hands on the arms of his wheelchair, ready to leap out and stop me. And Chang was sitting on the couch, his arms crossed over his chest, his face rigid with stubbornness.

  I flipped my shoes off. ‘Oh, okay, but I hope you have a copy of the Post there. If I have to sit there I want to catch up on the news as well.’

  ‘Heaven forbid you should talk to us,’ Leo said.

  ‘I’ll read you the latest and we can talk about it,’ Simone said.