I Cherish Your Heart

by C. M. King

  “I don’t want to say goodbye.”

  “What time is he coming ’round?” he asked soothingly, his hands softly caressing my skin.

  I closed my eyes, sinking into his touch. “In an hour, it’s not fair I just got him back, and he’s leaving already.”

  Joel’s lips brushed up against my hair. “He has got a family who miss him too, baby.”

  “Yeah and they’ve had him all these years, I’ve only had months, it’s not enough.” I knew I was being totally selfish, but I couldn’t help it.

  “You’ll stay in contact and talk every day.” His words were meant to bring me some comfort, but nothing would appease me.

  “It’s not the same.”

  “I know, but it’s the best you can do under the circumstances. We’ll see him in December; it’s only five months away.”

  “Only.” It felt like a lifetime at this precise moment.

  “Baby, I wish I could make it all better. If I were rich I would whisk you out there all the time in my own private jet.”

  I sighed at his words. He would do all those things if he could. “A private jet would be nice right now, and you would look hot as a pilot.”

  “Oh I wouldn’t be flying it, baby, I’d be in the back keeping you company. It’s a long flight, I need to keep my girl occupied, I can’t have you getting bored.”

  I smiled at his words, only imagining the kind of activities he would have planned.

  His frown lines eased up. “There’s the smile I’ve been waiting on. It’s going to be fine, it will be sad to say goodbye, but Ruby and I will help you through it. What do you say, Rubes?”

  She gave a sleepy yawn and then snuggled back down once again to enjoy her nap.

  “Well she’s no help, but I think that could have been a yes.”

  I cupped his face with my hands. “You both are a big help, I’m going to need you more than ever. I’ve gotten used to seeing him all the time, and it’s going to be a big change.”

  He sunk deeper into my touch, his hands covering mine. “You’ll adapt, baby, it won’t be so bad.”

  “How are you going to keep my mind off things?” I asked, moving my head away slightly to kiss the palm of his hand.

  “I’m sure I can come up with lots of things.” He pulled me in for a long, sweet kiss, the type that took all the breath from your body.

  I leaned back and stared deep into his eyes. “I love you.”

  “I love you too. You and Rubes are my life. I’ll help you ease the pain.” From the steely look in his eyes, he’d do just that. “Come downstairs, I’ll make you your favourite scrambled eggs. I know how much you love them.”

  I licked my lips involuntary just at the thought. “Are you ever going to tell me what you put in them to give them that extra creamy taste?” I pouted, hoping he’d finally relent and spill the beans.

  “Not a chance, that stays with me. I’ve got to keep these things close to my chest, you never know when I might need to use them.” He shot me a wink, and I pouted even more.

  “You’re mean.” I couldn’t believe my persuasive powers were not working. I really needed to try to improve those.

  “Don’t pout, baby, you know what it does to me.”

  Aha, I had found his weakness.

  “I’m hoping it will persuade you differently; let me know your secret ingredient.” I quickly straddled him so our faces were barely inches apart.

  He sighed deeply, and I could see in his eyes he was starting to crumble. “I’ve got to keep the mystery as things might get boring.”

  “Never, not with that mouth,” I teased, knowing my words would have the precise effect.

  A grin spread across his face. “Ahh, so you like what I can do?”

  “Of course, you undo me in so many ways. Your words, your touch, this mouth should come with a warning.”

  His eyes turned dark, and I could feel the heat begin to radiate through him. “I think the only warning I need right now is to leave this room while I still have some kind of willpower.”

  I chuckled, quickly pecking him on the lips and climbed off him, handing him Ruby. She wagged her tail softly in response, lightly licking his neck causing him to chuckle. I loved these moments. They were the ones that made me smile the hardest, even when I knew there was sorrow ahead.

  * * *

  “Hey, baby girl, Joel said you were out here.”

  I forced a smile at the sound of his voice; I had to stay strong. He sat down beside me, pulling me in to him as we softly rocked on the swing seat. It was my favourite place to be just staring out into oblivion, soaking up the sweet scenery.

  I placed my head on his shoulder, no words were needed, the sadness radiating from both of us was enough. We just sat enjoying the memory we’d get to add to the many more we’d create together.

  “When is your flight?” I whispered, finally breaking the silence.

  “Tonight, I’ll be heading to the airport straight from here.”

  I sighed at his words, he was finally leaving, and my heart felt so heavy right now.

  He frowned at my reaction. “I know, baby girl, but look how far we’ve come in the last few months. I may be thousands of miles away, but the divide between us has gone. I’m only a phone call away, we’re not apart really. We will always be connected by the love we have in our hearts.”

  “Dad . . .” I croaked out, but it was too late. I was gone in a sea full of tears. I tried to be strong, but his words were my undoing.

  “Be brave, Iz, we can get through this, and it will soon be Christmas, we’ll be reunited again,” he said soothingly, but his words provided little comfort.

  “I know, I’m just going to miss you, that’s all.” It would break my heart when I finally had to say goodbye.

  “Me too, Iz, me too.”

  We sat in silence for a while just soaking up the beautiful summer’s day, but the quiet was quickly broken when an excited Ruby came out to play. She came scurrying over to greet us in her own eager fashion.

  “Here she is, the little lady herself.” My dad chuckled when she bounded over to see him excited to give him more kisses.

  “She certainly loves you,” I remarked, she always went crazy when he came over. She would really miss him too, which saddened me even more.

  “Next time I see her she’ll be so big, I won’t be able to snuggle with her on my knee, that’s for sure.”

  “I’m sure she’ll find a way.” If I knew Ruby she would make that happen.

  Joel peeped through the door. “Sorry, she was going stir crazy locked up in the house, the garden is her favourite place. She takes after someone else I know.”

  I smiled, scratching Ruby’s head. We were like peas in a pod that way.

  “I’ll let you get back to your chat.” Joel made to head back indoors, but my dad piped up stopping him in his tracks.

  “No, Joel, come sit down. I came to spend today with you all, there’s no more talk of sadness. We never really say goodbye, it’s just so long for now, hey Iz?”

  I faked a smile, trying to swallow back the lump. Joel sat down beside me and kissed my hair.

  “Now I hope you take care of my baby girl, Joel, she’ll need extra hugs once I’m gone.”

  “I’m sure I can do that,” he replied, giving me an extra squeeze, and I smiled. I was sure he would do everything within his power to make me happy.

  I looked up to him with tears in my eyes, and he quickly swiped the ones that escaped away, kissing my hair.

  I caught my dad discretely wiping away some of his own, we were both just as bad as the other. Although in my heart I felt such sadness, I didn’t want the memory of our last day together to be all tears.

  I took a deep breath and smiled. “Do you know what I’d like to do on our last day together?”

  “What?” they both asked, looking at me curiously.

  “I want to go out and spend some time with my favourite men and eat chocolate cake.”

  Joel gri
nned at my words mentioning his favourite subject. “Sounds like a plan, what about Ruby?”

  My eyes dropped down to her nestled up tight in my dad’s arms. “I’m sure Elijah will be on hand to dog sit.” I was almost certain of it. I quickly typed out a text and a reply came back within seconds. I smiled at his enthusiastic answer. I was pretty sure he would spend twenty-four seven with Ruby if he could.

  Ten minutes later we heard a knock, I’d quickly changed and put on a little makeup ready to open the door to a beaming Elijah.

  “Hey, Iz, how are you?” he asked, looking slightly wary. Which was not like him at all but it was all out of concern. He knew it was my dad’s last day and that he would be travelling back to Australia tonight.

  “I’m fine,” I whispered, not feeling brave enough to say much more.

  He enveloped me into a hug. “I know you’re not, but chin up, sweetie, the last few hours should be filled with laughter not tears.”

  “I know.”

  “Hey Elijah, thought I heard your voice.” My dad smiled, walking back through, he came over to shake his hand. I could see that from the look on his face he had a soft spot for him, but then again Elijah could charm anyone.

  Well, maybe not Joel.

  “Hey Geoff, oh and here’s my sweet little princess,” Elijah squealed, getting all excited. My dad could only laugh at the stupid face he was now pulling. He did go a little crazy when he saw Ruby, always a little dramatic to say the least.

  Ruby struggled in my dad’s arms ready to leap into Elijah’s, loving all of the attention. She took after Elijah that way, and I almost grimaced at the thought of all the bad habits he was slowly passing on.

  “So where’s Mr sexy?” Elijah casually enquired smiling. He looked over at me innocently, but I knew exactly what was going on in those eyes.

  I eyed him warily back. “He’s upstairs changing.” I watched a smile creep over his face at the very thought of a half-naked Joel. “Don’t even think about it.”

  “Spoilsport.” He poked out his tongue and narrowed his eyes in jest.

  “For my eyes only,” I warned, making my point known.

  “One day, Iz, one day.”

  Unbelievable.

  My dad looked on in complete amusement. I think he knew not to say a word as Elijah was liable to come out with anything in return. Staying schtum was always your safest option.

  Joel walked down the stairs looking hot in just a T-shirt and jeans, it was a simple outfit, but boy did he fill it well. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to that body of his, I’d always stare in wonder.

  Elijah too.

  I dug him in the ribs and he grinned, annoying me even more.

  “Looking hot, Joel, I was going to come up and give you a hand, but Iz stopped me.”

  My dad laughed as Joel rolled his eyes.

  Honestly.

  We all said goodbye to Ruby who seemed at ease to cuddle down on the sofa with Elijah to watch Beethoven. Elijah now had an addiction to dog films, thinking Ruby would be more at home watching her dog friends on the screen. I was sure there was some kind of logic in there somewhere, I didn’t even try to question it.

  We walked for a short while, heading towards our favourite café bar. We decided on sitting outside as the day was still gloriously warm, so we took good of the weather while we could. Of course my dad was used to sun for the majority of the year, this was just the norm to him.

  After ordering the drinks and a round of cakes, my dad proceeded to fill Joel in on all my silly little traits when I was younger.

  Oh the embarrassment.

  Joel already knew about my unhealthy addiction to books stemmed back from quite a young age, but seriously a girl did not need reminding of her childhood quirks. Those should remain permanently buried, but thanks to my loose-lipped dad, they were all gloriously being regaled to a more than enthusiastic Joel.

  “Do you know what Izzy’s favourite nursery rhyme was, Joel?”

  Oh for the love of god, no.

  “What?” Joel asked, enjoying my look of annoyance.

  “Dad—”

  My dad quickly cut me off, avoiding my glare, continuing with the story. “Well she used to be frightened of spiders, wouldn’t go near them, so I had to come up with a way of helping her with her phobia.”

  “Dad, I don’t think—”

  “Oh, but I do,” Joel chimed in, smirking at my beetroot like face.

  Talk about embarrassing.

  “And how did you do that, Geoff?” Joel asked, looking smug to try to wind me up.

  “Well to make her less afraid of spiders I changed it to Izzy Wincy.”

  Oh the complete shame.

  “Aww, that’s adorable,” Joel remarked, and I kicked him in the shin.

  More like bloody embarrassing.

  He flinched slightly, but I’d made little impact as he continued to laugh at my mortified face. I glared at my dad. He really needed to keep a lid on things. I was just about keeping it together, anymore little tidbits of information and my embarrassment would be through the roof.

  I was grateful when our cake arrived, quickly shoving a piece in Joel’s mouth before he asked anymore embarrassing questions. We devoured every single crumb and I sighed, feeling myself slowly fall into a cake coma.

  Joel grabbed my hand, quickly licking off the cream. It really was a good job my dad had taken that opportunity to go to the toilet. My cheeks flushed even more when his tongue brushed along my skin.

  “You taste so sweet, baby.” His tongue quickly licked up the remains before he pulled me over into a long, hard kiss.

  “Mmm, you taste of brownie, I like it,” he breathed in between kisses.

  I giggled, trying to catch my breath. “We should take some of their chocolate mousse home for later, you know when we get a little peckish.” I had been eyeing up the little pots at the counter earlier on. I couldn’t quite keep the smile from my face watching Joel’s eyes light up at my little suggestion. Of course his mind automatically went towards the obvious causing a flush to my cheeks.

  “Hmm, what will we be doing to work up an appetite?” He quirked his brow and my blush deepened, this was not what I needed when my dad was about to return any moment.

  “Oh you know . . .” I motioned with my eyes, and he smirked at the fact I could barely say the words out loud in public.”

  “Have we got cream?” Joel asked seductively. I bit my lip, and his eyes zeroed in as I softly nodded my head in reply.

  “Well, that’s dessert sorted then for later. No plates required, I’ll be eating mine off you.”

  Oh god.

  My insides clenched in delight.

  Joel chuckled at my red face. I was pretty sure you could fry an egg on it right now. He leaned over to me, his lips brushing against my ear so only I would hear. “I love your sexy blush. You’re turning me on right now, makes me think about how you look after we—”

  “Hey, what are you kids busy talking about?” my dad yelled, and we sprang apart.

  Oh shit, caught in the act.

  I felt my blush deepen, he retook his seat and eyed me warily.

  “Izzy love, I think you may have caught the sun, your face is awful red. Move ’round into the shade, don’t want you burning.”

  Joel chuckled at my dad’s words, his hand cupping my face. “Yeah, you look a little flushed, maybe you do need to move away so you can cool off.”

  I pursed my lips at him, it was his mouth that got me into this state. So moving as far away from those lips was the only advisable thing right now. I needed to be at a safe distance if I was to survive the rest of the afternoon.

  We had another refill and then headed back home, relieving Elijah of his babysitting duties. But after a whole lot of whining on his part we let Ruby go stay with him, anything for a quiet life. She happily trotted off with barely a backward glance, leaving me feeling slightly miffed. But at least it took my mind off other things for a short time.

  The part of
the day I’d been dreading the most arrived. I hugged my dad tight, not wanting to let go. I didn’t think I had the strength to watch him leave again.

  “You’ll never know how much this visit has meant to me, Iz. I can’t believe I have you and Mike back in my life. It’s the greatest gift a dad can have the love of his children. Now don’t forget I’m only a phone call away. I want you to Skype me too, so I get to see this beautiful face and check that you’re okay. Though I know you’re in safe hands with Joel.”

  I cried deeper into his shoulder, I could feel him loosening his grip, but I didn’t want to let go. He pulled away and cupped my face.

  “My beautiful baby girl, I’m so proud of you.” He pressed his lips against my forehead for a few moments, and I closed my eyes, remembering his touch. When he moved away I felt bereft, but my heart felt lighter when I watched him go on to embrace Joel. I saw a flash of bewilderment cross Joel’s face when my dad showered him with the love I had taken for granted when I was younger.

  He moved away and whispered something into his ear, Joel nodded softly and his eyes flashed up to meet mine confirming it was concerning me. Joel broke away and came straight over to me. He knew I’d need him now more than ever in this moment.

  My dad placed one more kiss on my forehead before walking out the door. I caught sight of a tear that rolled down his cheek and understood the urgency of his departure. I fell back into Joel, and he supported my weight as I sobbed hard against him, missing my dad’s presence already.

  He turned me around and lifted me, carrying me upstairs, and placed me on the bed. He joined me moments later and I curled around him, my fists clinging onto him as I cried for the sense of loss I felt right now. Until my body became weary, and I slowly fell into a dreamless sleep.

  * * *

  I woke up a short while later automatically turning to face Joel’s side only to find I was left all alone. I rubbed my hands down my face and sighed thinking about my dad. He hadn’t even left the country, and I missed him already. I grabbed a towel from the cupboard and my favourite pyjamas and headed for a shower. Although I wanted to sit and dwell on it, life moved on, and I had to carry on as normal.