"Simon—"
"Mom, it's okay."
"Ash ..."
"Ash is Ash. He does what he has to do. Sure I'd like it if we were close, but we aren't. It's never going to happen. Mom. Not in this lifetime. I don't want you worrying about me. Promise me."
"How'd you get so smart at your age?" SaUie teased.
"By hanging around you. You're the best. Someday Ash and Pop will say it out loud. They know it now, but heck, you're a woman and they're men.. . . Men have a hard time saying things like that."
'Tou said diem."
"I learned from you, Mom. Ash learned from Pop."
"Thank you, Simon. Are you and Jerry going flying?"
'*Nope. He's afi^d to go up with me. And, I didn't ask Pop or Ash if I could use the plane."
"You don't have to ask them, Simon. The plane belongs to the femily, not to your father or to Ash."
"It doesn't matter, Mom. When I fly I like to fly alone. It's so peacefiil up there."
"I never thought I'd live to see the day when I owned an airplane. It just amazes me that both you and Ash can Jictually fly. You're only sixteen, Simon. I am so proud of you."
A veil dropped over Simon's eyes. "Age is only a number. Mom. Everyone who meets me for the first time thinks I'm much older."
Sallie winced. "I'll leave a note for your father. I'll probably be back in the middle of the week."
"Say hello to the gang for me."
Sallie chuckled. "I'll do that. C'mere and give me a hug."
Sallie looked back once as she climbed the steps leading into the house. Simon was up to something, she could feel it in her bones, or maybe it was her motherly instincts working overtime.
Inside, Sedlie packed her bag and changed her clothes before she scribbled off'a short note: Gone to Sunrise.
The moment Sallie's car was out of sight, Simon ran to his mother's room to retrieve the note. He crushed it into a baU and
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stuck it in his pants pocket, then printed off a new note that said, Simon and I went to Sunrise. Be back next week. He scrawled a big S the way he'd seen his mother do. He knew neither his father nor his brother would give the note a second glance. He carried it down to the dining room, where he left it on the table in full view.
Upstairs in his room, he reached into the closet for his suitcase, opened it to take out the letter he'd written to his mother. His next stop was her room, where he placed the letter under her pillow.
Five minutes later he was in his car. He beeped the horn at his friend Jerry's house, two zippy sounds that made him grin. Jerry loped down the walkway to the car. "Is everything aU set?" Simon asked.
"It's done. I don't mind telling you this is making me real nervous. What are my parents going to say when I show up with this fancy car?"
"Jerry, we worked this all out. Your family thinks you are going to Sunrise with me. They aren't going to caU or come looking for you. I taught you to drive, so you won't have any problems on that score. We're driving to California where your twenty-three-year-old cousin, for the sum of $500, has agreed to give me his birth certificate and his college degree so I can enlist. This cousin has sworn to both of us to keep his mouth shut even if he's bleeding to death. How'm I doing so far? And, you, my best friend in the whole world, are going to be the happy recipient of this automobile as payment for getting him to agree to the deal. I've taken care of everything. I explained all of it in a letter to my mother, so no one is going to come and take the car away. You are simply going to tell your parents I gave it to you to take care of till I get back. Foolproof Did I leave anything out, Jerry?"
"Yeah, you left a lot out. What if you get yourself killed? Then what?"
"Then nothing. It's over. I'm not going to get killed. I promise. I don't want to go to college, at least not now. I can't live in that house one more day with Ash and my father. I'm sick and tired of pretending to my mother that things are fine when they aren't. Jesus, I have to force myself to eat when we're all at the table. Why in hell do you think I invite myself to your house so much?"
"I thought you came over because you liked us."
"Yeah, that too, and I also like your mother's cooking. She makes the best pot roast in the world. Your leftovers are real. . . zesty."
"Zesty? I'll tell my mother you said that." Jerry guffawed. "You gonna write?"
"Every chance I get. Swear on your mother you won't share my letters with anyone?"
"C'mon, who am I gonna share them with?"
"You might get a girlfriend who has a big mouth like you do. Swear, Jerry?"
"Okay, I swear. What if they find out you're only sixteen?"
"If you and that cousin of yours keep your mouths shut, no one will find out. If he squeals, I'll hunt him down and cut off his balls."
"He won't tell. Don't you think you should be referring to my cousin by name so you can be familiar with it?"
Simon roared with laughter. "I keep forgetting what his name is. Tell me again."
"His name is Adam Jessup. He has brown eyes and brown curly hair, a little darker than yours. His hair almost looks black. He's nowhere near as muscular as you are, but he's six feet tall. Nobody's going to notice those extra two inches you have. He's not a sharp dresser, most of the time he looks like a bum. My mother says he's shiftless. My father says he's no damn good. Hey, Simon, maybe you can make a hero out of him. Now, wouldn't that be something? Wonder what he'U do with that $500."
"I've been wondering that myself Take this envelope, it has another $500 in it. Use it on him if he starts making noises like he's going to blab. Now let's talk about girls. I'm going to go to those canteens. I bet I meet a lot of older women."
"Don't go knocking any of them up," Jerry said.
They laughed all the way to California.
'Tour mother isn't going to like it that I let you drink all that wine," Philip said.
"Then let's not tell her. I'll go straight upstairs and stay there for a while. I'm going to pass on dinner. I ate too much as it is."
"The house is quiet. Simon is usually blaring his radio at this time of day. What's this?" PhiHp said, reaching for the folded note on the dining room table. "Don't bother running upstairs. Your mother and Simon went to Sunrise. They'll be back next week. Guess us bachelors are on our own. What should we do?"
"Don't know about you, Pop, but I have a date." At the look on
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his father's face, he said, "I can cancel it. After all, how often do us guys get a chance to be bachelors on the loose?"
A devil perched itself on PhiHp's shoulder as he ripped the note into shreds. "How would you like to take a chaperoned trip to Red Ruby's?"
"Pop, are you serious?"
"Yes. Heard she's got some new girls fresh from New York. Of course we won't mention this to your mother."
"'Course not," Ash said, his face beet red.
"I think we should wait until it gets dark, don't you?" Philip said.
"Hell, yes, Pop. What if someone sees us?"
"That's what going to Red Ruby's is all about. Sneaking in and sneaking out."
"You've done this before." It wasn't a question but a statement. His father shrugged.
Ash had his ace in the hole now. His father would sign his enlistment papers and he'd get to fuck his brains out for a whole night. How lucky could one guy get?
Father and son crept into the house like thieves in the night. "It was a night and a day to remember, wasn't it, Son?"
"It sure was, Pop. I don't think I shoulda had that last drink. You smell!"
"You don't exacdy smell like your mother's flower garden yourself"
Philip wrapped his right arm around his son's shoulder.
"Listen, Pop, let's go in the kitchen and make some coffee. I want to talk to you about something important."
"Sure, Son. How about some eggs while we're at it."
"Great. I'm not doing dishes, though."
"That's why we have
a housekeeper."
"Simon dries the dishes for Tulee. He takes out the trash for her, too. He carries the laundry up and down the steps."
"Why didn't you ever do it. Ash?"
"For the same reason we don't have to do the dishes. We pay a housekeeper to do it."
"Simon does it because Tulee is getting old. Simon saw your mother help Tulee one day and he stepped in and took over. Your mother doesn't want to pension Tulee off, and she doesn't want to offend her by hiring a younger person to help out. She's very loyal
to her employees. She's never forgotten her humble beginnings. If you'd give your mother a chance, you could learn a lot from her, Ash."
"She never gave me a chance, Pop. I don't want to talk about this anymore. I have my views, you have yours, and Mom has hers. I want to enlist, Pop. Monday morning I'm going to join up. I have to get out of here. I don't want to go to college. I'm never going to be a doctor or a scientist. I want you to sign the papers. If you do, I can be out of here before Mom and Simon get back from Sunrise."
Philip's hands started to shake as he measured coffee into the wire basket. "Ash, ask me to do anything but that. How can I send . . . sign . . . your mother . . . Christ Almighty, son, I can't do that."
"Then I'll take off and enhst somewhere else. Pop, look at me. I want to do this. No, that's not right, I need to do this. I need to get away from Mom and Simon. I need to see what I'm made of Haven't I always done what you asked of me? Well, now, I'm asking you for something. Please, sign the papers."
"Ash . . . your mother. . . God, what if something happens to you? My life would be over."
Ash stared at his father, his jaw dropping. "Pop, don't say something like that. You might. . . grieve for a while, but your life would go on. You have Mom and . . . Simon will be around. Jesus, don't go jinxing me now." He watched his father carefully, his stomach in knots as he waited.
Philip cleared his throat. "Son, if this is what you really and truly want, I'll sign the paper and take the consequences when your mother gets home. I want your promise to write faithfully and to call if you can. Will you promise. Ash?"
"You got it. Pop. Thanks. I'll make sure you never regret this. I'll make you proud of me. I swear to God I will."
"Just come back in one piece. Ash. You hate taking orders. How are you going to handle it when your superior officer tells you to do something?"
"I don't know. I'll let you know when it happens. I'm going to be just fine, so don't worry about me."
There was such jubilation in Ash's voice that Philip could only stare at his son. "Tell me something. Has life here been so unbearable that you can't wait to get away from me . . . us?"
"Not you. Pop. Them. I wouldn't say unbearable, but it certainly hasn't been pleasant. I've contemplated taking off in the middle of the night and leaving a note behind. Then I realized I couldn't do
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that to jou. I couldn't have asked for a better father. Fm going to miss you, Pop." His voice was sly, his eyes v^ary as he v^aited for his father's reaction. When it came it was exacdy what he expected and wanted.
"Fm going to miss you, too. You've been a wonderful son. I knew the day you were bom you were going to be someone special."
"Fll make you proud, Pop. Thanks for taking me to Red Ruby's. It was a hell of an experience."
"It's always an experience. Don't get the idea I'm a regular customer. Fm not."
"Ruby told me Mom has style. She said she's one classy lady."
"It's true," Philip said. "I've never heard one person in this town say a negative word about your mother. She's done a lot for this town. Hell, she owns the town. I know she shps Red money from time to time. Anonymously, but Red knows where it comes from. There was a time when Red and your mother . . . well, they didn't like each other."
"Do you have regrets, Pop?"
"Not anymore. I loved your mother very much in the beginning. Things change. I'm still very proud of her. .A.re you aware that she can speak French, German, and Chinese? She taught herself when she was pregnant with you and Simon. I know a smattering of French, but your mother can speak the language like a native. She has an ear for it the same way she has an ear for music."
Ash felt like crying. He could feel his arms and legs start to tremble. He knew his father was on the verge of tears, too. "Well, I think it's time for me to hit the sheets. Thanks, Pop, for everything. By the way, the papers are under the flowers on the dining room table."
Philip nodded. "Fll clean up so Tulee doesn't have to do it when she wakes up. Fll be up in a few minutes." He waited to see if his son would offer to help. When Ash walked out of the kitchen, Philip drew a deep breath, his heart pounding in his chest at what he'd just agreed to do.
He .sat down at the table, his thoughts whirling. A second cup of coffee was called for. He drank it and made a second pot. He found himself looking around the kitchen. He rarely came in here. When had it changed? It was so homey, so cozy. He cringed as he realized Sallie, not Tulee, was responsible. The curtains on the multipane windows were red-checkered gingham with red tassels on the hems, and matched cushions on the wooden chairs. Litde red clay pots full of herbs sat on all the windowsills. Lustrous plants in copper pots hung
from the beams, their leaves emerald green and shiny. He wondered who watered and trimmed them. On the floor, a huge braided rug lay beneath the table and chairs. Gleaming copper cookware hung from pegs next to the green plants. He noticed the fresh flowers in the middle of the table. He knew they came from the greenhouse Sal-lie had built so Chue could tend the seedlings that he later transported to Sunrise. The house was always fiill of fresh flowers.
But it was the huge fieldstone fireplace and the two rocking chairs that drew his attention. The rocking chairs that SaUie insisted on buying, even though her mother would never get to rock in them. For years they had been in the sunroom at Sunrise, a reminder to Sallie of what might have been. Then one day they were gone, and now he knew why.
Philip sat down in one of the rocking chairs, his shoulders shaking. He cried for the would-haves, the could-haves, and the should-haves. What would happen once Ash left? Would Sallie boot him out? Would Simon align himself with his mother? Absolutely the boy would stand by his mother. Not for the first time, Philip compared his two sons. Simon was so like him it was scary. He'd seen his intelligence at the age of four when the boy wanted to learn. Sallie had begged him to help Simon and he'd refused, saying the boy needed the school system. Sallie took it for the slap in the face it was and hired an outside teacher for the child. Simon surpassed his brother early on and skipped two grades. He was shy, loved to read, and wrote poetry that brought tears to Philip's eyes. Poetry for his mother. And what had he done? He'd tolerated the boy because he had to. Ash was his priority. Ash had to be the best, but he wasn't the best. Philip knew it; so did Ash and Sallie. It was Simon who won the honors; it was Simon who could always be counted on; Simon who helped Tulee; Simon who stood by his mother's side. Not Ash. Ash was personable, glib, popular, a good athlete. He was also handsome, well dressed, dashing—all the things Philip never was. Ash was also a liar, a manipulator, and a cheat. Sallie had pointed out his bad traits and in no uncertain terms had told Philip to keep his hands off Simon. Tougo right ahead and ruin your son, but keep your hands off my son. He wished he were able to turn the clock backwards so he could do things diflerendy.
PhiHp got up fi-om the rocking chair. He cleaned the kitchen, picked a dead leaf off one of the herbs, brought it to his nose. Mint. His mother used to grow mint in her garden.
Then he got angry. He left the house, surprised to find that it was
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still dark. WTiere he was going it didn't matter if it was light or dark, Red kept the draperies pulled all day and night. Red had become a good friend oer the years. He didn't use her serices, even though he paid for them. He sat in the dining room and talked to her, sometimes for an entire night. In the morning she always made him b
reakfast, and if he wasn't talked out, he'd stay on for lunch or dinner. Red had a good ear, she always knew the right thing to say at the right time. .nd, he knew for a fact, she never discussed his is-its with anyone else. Red Ruby's was a safe haven.
He wished he knew why he let his son believe he participated m the action at Red's. To impress the boy, he supposed.
He checked his pockets for cash. With Red you paid for her girls the minute you walked through the door. Because he was a kind, generous man, he paid for talking, too. After all, Red had a living to make like everyone else.
Tonight he had a lot of talking to do.
"When will you be back, Miss Sallie?"
"In a few weeks. Sometimes, Chue, I can close my eyes and actually believe I'm here. The feeling holds me over until it's time to get in the car to make the trip. Do you miss Su Li?"
"Sometimes. M she does is talk, talk, talk. A man needs quiet."
"Do you regret not going on to college, Chue? It's never too late you know."
"I have no regrets. I love working with my hands. This is what I do best. I can never thank you enough for all you've done for Su Li and all our relatives. The new greenhouse is beautiful. Sometimes I sit out there at night and watch my seeds grow. I see them poke through the soil. It's a wonderful feeling." He turned shy suddenly, his head bowed. "I will marry soon. My bride arrives in ten days. I wanted to tell you sooner, but Su Li didn't call until last evening to tell me the arrangements have been finalized. Do you see a problem. Miss Sallie?"
"Hell no! It's about time, Chue. We'll convert the cottage. We'll put in a modern kitchen, a modern bath with a big tub. Ladies like to take baths."
"It is not necessary, Miss Sallie. My new bride will think my room is a palace as I do. I don't want her to think I'm rich."
Sallie smiled as she wagged her finger under Chue's nose. "Not. when I get hold of her. You forget, Su Li taught me Chinese. I will
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