Jessup reared back. "What is it?"
"Your discharge, some commendations, some medals. They belong to you. If you don't mind, Fd like to keep the wings."
"I don't see any wings. What are you talking about?"
Simon sighed. As he explained, he wondered if, when Jessup sobered up, he would remember a thing he said.
Jessup fooled him. His shoulders squared and his eyes lost some of their glassiness. "You were an honest-to-God flying ace? Using my name? Hot damn! Captain, huh? Shouldn't you be paying me for all this? I mean, hell, man, without my name you'd be nothing." His voice turned crafty when he said, "Is it true that a pair of gold wings and dress whites can get you in any woman's bed? Seems to me this should all be worth something."
Simon reached into his duffel for the envelope full of cash, his pay for his years of service minus a few bucks he'd spent on a few weeks of R & R. "You know what, Jessup, you're right." He tossed him the envelope, closed hLs duffel, and stood up. "We're square, buddy."
"Hey, aren't you supposed to salute me?"
Simon laughed as his middle finger shot in the air.
Simon headed for the nearest drugstore, where he placed a call to his friend Jerry. "Yeah, it's me, Jerry. I want you to clean out my bank account and drive my car here. I'm heading for New York. If
you want to come along, I could use some company. I'll be at the Howard Johnson's near your cousin's house. I only have ten bucks and some change on me, so don't drag your feet. I'm going to call the bank now, all you'll need is some ID. Your password is Ace. You got that? Listen, if you have any money of your own, you better bring it along."
It was after eight o'clock when Jerry drove Simon's car into the parking lot. The two friends stared at one another for a long minute before Jerry whooped like a v^d Indian, his arms crushing Simon to his chest. "You son of a bitch, you said you were going to write. I made myself sick worrying about you."
"I did write."
"Yeah, one lousy letter. I must have called your mother a thousand times. She cried every single time. The town is having a parade for Ash next week."
"He's home then?"
"Nah, he's in Hawaii with his wife and three kids. The paper interviewed your mother and she was kind of vague. There was a picture of his wife and kids. One of them kind of looks like you when you were litde. Jeez, three kids."
"So, what do you say to me shucking this uniform, putting on some civilian duds, and we take on the town, maybe tie one on and then head out for New York tomorrow? You're coming, aren't you?"
"Quit my job this afternoon, cleaned out my almost-nonexistent bank account, and here I am." He paused, looked hard at Simon. "You gonna tell me why you aren't going home, or is it none of my business?"
"That's pretty funny, Jerry. I fought a war using some other guy's name, and you expect me to go home so the papers can dig into what I did? I know what I did, and that's all that's important. Ash knows. We met up a couple of times. We made our peace. Ash made major. He was one hell of a fighter pilot. He downed the Jap's ace flyer. He's going home ... to take over the management of the Silver Dollar, and if I know him, he's going to build a new casino. Running those bingo and poker parlors along with the Dollar is going to be a full-time job, but I think he's up to it. Time for him to settle down. I, on the other hand, am just now going to start to live!"
"How much living do you think you can do on three thousand bucks? I only have a thousand."
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"I'll sell the car if I have to. I have a trust fund I can tap into. I don't want to, but it's nice to know there's a cushion there."
"Welcome home, Simon."
It was the only welcome nineteen-year-old Simon Thornton received. He accepted it because it was his choice to do so. From that day on, everything Simon Thornton did would be by his own choice.
On a rare rainy day in early August of 1946, Ash instigated his first serious fight with his wife. He was storming and stomping his way around the bedroom as Fanny stared at him speechlessly.
"I don't damn well get it. You have slOl this help in the house, and you're telling me you can't go with me to this dinner. What you mean is you don't want to go. You'd rather.sit here and talk to your friend Billie in Texas and run up our phone bill. Then, when you're done talking to her you get on the phone and talk to Bess for hours."
"Because you're never here. Ash. You leave here at three in the afternoon and you don't get home till three in the morning. You sleep till one-thirty, get up, shower, eat and repeat the same process all over again. Aside from the children, I have no life. Furthermore, I only talk to Billie once a week, and we take turns calling. You resent my friendship with her because she's from your mother's side of the family. I talk to Bess twice a week, sometimes not at all. Don't lie, Ash, it isn't manly. You're acting like a spoiled brat."
"I know where you got that. You spend entirely too much time with my mother."
"What is it you want from me. Ash? Birch has a bad summer cold. Sage has an earache, and Sunny is coming down with the same thing. I can't leave them when they're sick. This isn't an important dinner, it's just a dinner. Do you know what I think, I think you hate this life, I think you compare it to your time in the navy when you were an . . . ace, and you got all kinds of accolades and praise. Civilian life bores you. I bore you, tlie children bore you, your parents bore you. The business bores you. Bringing up children can be boring. I'm sorry we aren't exciting. I'm sorry about a lot of things."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"What do you think it means?" Fanny shot back, her stomach starting to churn. The wary look in her husband's eyes told her all she needed to know. Bess was right, Ash was seeing another woman, and trying to make her feel guilty about his infidelity.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"This is a small town, Ash. I know you're seeing someone. I smell her on your clothes. Everyone in town knows. I was probably the last one to know, but I do know."
"Unlike my mother and Devin Rollins. They don't talk about her, but they talk about me."
Fanny's heart fluttered in her chest. He wasn't denying it. "I deserve better than this, Ash."
"You're spying on me, aren't you?"
"No, Ash, I'm not spying on you. Stay home and spend the evening with me and the children. We need to talk. We need to put our marriage back together, it's starting to fall apart. Surely you can see what's happening."
"What I see, Fanny, is you are a nag. Pick, pick, pick. Nag, nag, nag. When was the last time you fixed yourself up? When was the last time you came into the Silver Dollar? It's been so long I can't remember. Look at you, you're round. That's what happens when you sit on your ass all day, eating and reading."
"I don't do that, Ash. Raising three children is a full-time job. I don't have time to sit and eat. I will not let you do this to me. I know your game, you did something unforgivable and you're trying to make me feel guilty. I refuse to live like this any longer."
"Run to my mother, then. She'll buy you a new house, a new car, get you a few more maids, cuddle you, and the two of you can commiserate about your rotten husbands."
"That just goes to show you. Ash, you know nothing about me. I wouldn't dream of going to your mother. I'd be too ashamed. I'll go back to Pennsylvania. My father would love to have me come home."
"Fanny, wait. This is all wrong. That's not what I want, and it's not what you want. We're both being stubborn. We need to work together. Okay, I'm going to stay home this evening. We're going to talk. But Fanny, jow need to do something. You can't just stay cooped up in the house like you do. Sometimes I think you're someone else, not the girl I married. What happened to her, Fanny?"
"She gave up because her husband didn't want her anymore. She channeled all her energies into her children to try and make up for his lack of attention. When was the last time you made love to me, Ash?"
"Not that long ago," he blustered.
"Six weeks, Ash."
"You're always asleep when I get in. I hate to wake you."
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"What about the nights when /tried to wake you? How do you explain that?''
"I guess I was exhausted. You know, Fanny, sometimes I come home and I pray that I can fmd a way to get a plane so I can fly and . . . everything seems so simple, so peaceful when I'm flying. There are days when I make myself sick in that casino, watching people gamble away their money. I get sick of the smoke, the booze, the whole damn thing. I hate never seeing sunhght, sleeping during the day and being cooped up all night in a smoke-fiilled room. You were wrong about me getting home at three in the morning. It's more like five-thirty, just in time to see the sun come up."
"It's what you always wanted to do. You said it was all you thought about from the time you were a little boy and when you were in the nay. Now you tell me all you want to do is what you did in the navy, when you were making that very wish. I don't think you even know what would make you happy. If you wanted to do something else, all you had to do was say something. I would have gone along with anything you wanted. I can always go back to work." Right then, at that very second, she almost blurted out about Jake's money. If Sunny hadn't wailed, she probably would have.
"Let Moon take care of her, Fanny, we're talking."
"No, Ash, Sunny is sick. When litde ones are sick they want their mothers."
"You coddle them too much. You need to talk about that with my mother. I know firsthand she doesn't. . . didn't believe in all that stuff". I also think you make up the rules as you go along, to suit yourself."
A moment later, Fanny said, "Sunny is running a fever, so you might as well go on to your dinner. Sage is very resdess, his fever isn't coming down. Moon and I are going to make a steam tent to help Birch breathe easier."
"How long is that going to take?" Ash asked irritably.
"Probably all night. Go on, go to your dinner. It doesn't matter."
"I thought you said it did matter. Make up your damn mind."
"Ash, did it ever occur to you that you could help me? You're their father. Aren't you concerned?"
"Kids get sick all the time. This is August. People get summer colds, so why can't a kid get a summer cold? For God's sake, Fanny, kids get bellyaches, earaches, snotty noses, and sore throats all the time. Kids run fevers. What they need is to get outside and play in the sunshine, they need fruits and vegetables. Take them to Sunrise.
You take them out for an hour a day and give them peanut butter and jelly because they don't want to eat regular food. They control you, Fanny, instead of the other way around. Try running that one by my mother and see what she says. As a mother, Fanny, you are a bust, and we both know it. Now do you understand why I don't want to hang around here and hold your hand?" To drive home his point, Ash stomped from the room, slamming the door so hard the windows rattled.
Fanny's shoulders shook as she walked the floor with Sunny in her arms. At midnight, she knew Sunny had more than a slight fever and a summer cold. She handed her over to Moon so she could call Bess's husband to make a house call. "She's burning up, Bess, and the alcohol rubs aren't helping. She's too . . . too lifeless. Please, tell him to hurry."
John Noble took one look at the beet red baby and called Thornton Medical Center to reserve a room in the pediatric unit. Fanny heard him say, "We need an oxygen tent. Fm bringing her myself."
"How long has she been like this, Fanny?"
"She was cranky all day, but she didn't have a fever. She didn't want any dinner. Around seven she started to feel a litde warm. The fever started to rise about an hour ago and she got all red in the face. What is it, John?"
"She's on the verge of pneumonia. Her throat is raw, that's why she didn't want to eat."
"Is she going to be all right?"
"Of course she's going to be all right. She's a robust, healthy little girl. Bundle her up. We don't want her getting a chill in the night air."
On the short ride to the medical center. Sunny clutched to her breast, Fanny said, "John, in your opinion, am I a good mother?"
"As good as Bess. That's a high compliment, Fanny. Why do you ask?"
"Ash and I had a row this evening. He said I was a bust as a mother. He said 1 don't feed them right, I don't see that they get enough fresh air. He said a lot of things. It's funny, isn't it, how a person can say a few words, and suddenly your life changes right in front of your eyes. I actually started to think he might be right."
"Well, he's wrong. You need to start looking beyond the end of your nose, Fanny. When people are unhappy with themselves, they attack other people. Don't pack your bags for a guilt trip, young lady."
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"I know about the other women, John. I was so devastated I wanted to die. Why am I talking about this when my child is so sick? Is there something wrong with me, John?"
"It's a nervous reaction. Do you want me to call Bess to come and sit with you?"
"No. I'll be all right. I really appreciate you coming out so late like this."
"I'd be pretty upset if you called someone else, Fanny. What do you think friends are for? Okay, we're here. Just sit still, I'll carry Sunny. After you finish the paperwork, come up to the pediatric floor. She's in good hands, Fanny."
Fanny was dozing in a chair in Sunny's room in the early hours of the morning when Sallie walked into the room. "Fanny, why didn't you call me? You shouldn't be here by yourself. WTiere's Ash?"
"We had a row last night and he stormed out. He might not even know we're here. Sunny's fever broke an hour ago. It came on her so quick. I thought she was coming dovm with a cold or at the very worst an earache and sore throat. I was so scared, Sallie. I thought. . . Ash said .. . it's not important."
"What did Ash say, Fanny?"
Tears burned Fanny's eyes. She rubbed at them. "A lot of things. He said things, I said things. It was one of those fights that come up from time to time. How did you know we were here?"
"Bess called. I guess John called her. I stopped by your house. The boys are fine. Moon said they slept through the night. Ash wasn't home. It's six o'clock in the morning, the Silver Dollar closed at three. He wasn't even there last night. Where is he, Fanny?"
"He wanted me to go to a Chamber of Commerce dinner, but I said I couldn't go. I don't know if he went to the dinner or not."
"Those dinners are over by ten at the latest. How long has this been going on, Fanny?"
Fanny shrugged. "I'm going to check on Sunny. If she's sleeping, I'll go home and shower and come back. She'll be frightened if I'm not here. Everything's okay, Sallie," Fanny said wearily.
"I'll drive you home. Bess said John drove you and Sunny in his car."
Fanny rubbed at her eyes. "That's true, I guess I do need a ride home. I'll be right back."
"Sunny is in good hands, Fanny. Look at me," Sallie said, cupping Fanny's face in her two hands. "This isn't your fault. Children
get sick all the time. Sky-high fevers aren't normal, but they do happen. You did the right thing by callingjohn and bringing her here."
"I know," Fanny sighed.
"You're a wonderful mother, better than I ever was. Bess is too. It must be your generation."
They were almost to the lobby door when Fanny noticed the long shadow on the Tennessee marble floor. She started to step aside, felt Sallie grasp her arm just as she raised her eyes. She felt herself cringe before she bit down on her lower lip.
"Well, if it isn't the two Mrs. Thorntons, Senior and Junior," Ash said.
The bite in her husband's voice alerted Fanny that there was more to come. He needed a shave, his eyes were bloodshot, his tie askew, his shirt was half-in and half-out of his trousers. Fanny looked down at her husband's feet. "Where are your socks. Ash?"
Ash looked at the disgust on his mother's face. Both women appeared to be waiting for the He they knew would be forthcoming.
Ash rocked back on his heels, his arms crossed over his chest. The sneer on his face made
Fanny's stomach lurch. "I'll meet you out front, Sallie," she whispered.
"Yes, Mrs. Thornton Senior, Mrs. Thornton Junior will meet you outside," Ash singsonged.
Fanny wished the marble floor would open up and swallow her. She'd been so careful not to involve SaUie in their hves. Now, Ash was making it all public.
"I'm very tired, Ash, I've been here all night. All I want right now is to go home and take a shower so I can come back. If Sunny wakes up, she's going to be frightened. Now, if you don't understand that, I'm sorry. Look, I don't care where you were or what you did last night. Just get the hell out of my way!"
"Just a damn minute! Are you accusing me of. . . are you saying I don't have a right to be here when my own kid has been admitted?"
"Ash, you're making a scene; people are staring at us."
"So what! The Thorntons own this medical center. They aren't going to look too hard."
Fanny brushed past her husband and ran out the door to the front driveway where Sallie was waiting, the car's engine running at full throttle.
The short drive home was made in silence. When Sallie brought the car to a full stop, Fanny leaned over and kissed her mother-in-
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law on the cheek. "I know how it looks, but it isn't as bad as it seems. Thank you for not. . . thank you for coming to the hospital."
"If you need me, Fanny, call me, day or night. Ring me later and let me know how Sunny is."
Tears dripped down Fanny's cheeks as she made her way into the house. She'd disappointed SaUie, the one person in the world she loved and respected. "Damn you, Ash. Right now, I wish I'd never met you."
Ash stopped in the men's room to straighten his tie, comb his hair, and tidy up. He yanked at his shirt to see if it smelled of perfume. It did. He rinsed his mouth and tried to clean his teeth with a wet paper towel. Where the hell were his socks?
In Sunny's room he sat down in the rocker. He stared at his sock-less feet, his thoughts chaotic. He sat for a long time trying to make sense out of his life.
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