Invidious

by Bianca Scardoni

  After everything I’d gone through to get her back, in the end, I still lost Taylor. Even if it was for her own good, the loss still hurt like hell. And now Trace probably wasn’t that far behind her, being that I couldn’t seem to stop myself from hurting him like some kind of sick sadist.

  And then there was Engel. Deathly, omnipotent Engel who was still out there, out for my blood and madder than ever—waiting, plotting, readying himself for the ultimate payback.

  I pushed back on the glass and slid to the ground, crumbling into a ball of tears on the wet, tiled floor. The cascading water pummeled over my sagging body, mixing in with the salty tears I could no longer contain. Every raw emotion I’d ever felt broke free in that moment and I let myself cry harder than I ever had before, relinquishing demons and sadness and sobs that were drowned out by the dissonance of running water. I cried for seconds and minutes and then hours, crying until time blended into an immeasurable mess of weighty despair—until I couldn't cry out a single other tear to save my life. And when I was done, just like flicking off a light switch, I shut it all off again.

  Squaring my shoulders, I sucked in the last of my sobs and picked myself off the floor. I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping myself in a thick, terry cloth towel. Fully contained, I walked to the sink and ran a hand across the fogged up mirror, staring at the battered girl in the reflection.

  My hair was sopping wet, my eyes tired and sagging with defeat.

  I ran the tips of my fingers across my bandaged neck and then pulled back the gauze to inspect the damage. Raw, open flesh mocked me like a celebration of what was yet to come. Pulling out the first aid kit, I carefully cleaned the wound and then applied a fresh bandage.

  After drying my hair and dressing, I stalked back into my room and climbed into my bed. My body ached and my mind screamed for reprieve, but my heart demanded I wait.

  So I did.

  I waited for hours for Trace to call me that night, but the phone never did ring.

  Eventually, I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep, fully knowing that the dark angel from my nightmares would once again come for me in my dreams, and that sadly, this time, there would be no light to wake me up from the horror.

  32. AND SO IT GOES

  Thick, roiling storm clouds gathered low in the sky as I walked into school the next morning. Not surprisingly, Taylor wasn’t there, but according to Ben, she was already doing infinitely better than she was the last time we’d seen her. Her parents were both relieved and overjoyed beyond words to have her back home again, convinced that her return was nothing short of a miracle. And, of course, to celebrate said miracle, a black-tie welcome home party was already set for Saturday, hosted by her parents on their sprawling acreage.

  “So they bought the whole memory loss thing?” I asked Ben quietly as we stood next to Trace’s locker discussing the after-events of last night.

  “Yup. Her doc suggested she do some rehab to try and jog her memory but her parents pretty much said ‘no thanks’.” He ran his hand over his buzzed mane. “They think it’s better for her if she doesn’t remember, but honestly, I think it’s more for their sake than hers. I don’t think they can handle hearing it if anything bad happened to her.”

  I nodded, knowing I felt the same exact way.

  Now more than ever, I was convinced that I’d made the right decision for her.

  Trace shut his locker and secured the lock. “Any word about Engel?” he asked, barely meeting my eyes as he leaned back against his locker and stared forward across the hall.

  “I haven’t heard anything.” It was all silence on the Engel front and it was making my skin crawl with unease.

  “We should probably do some tracking tonight,” suggested Ben. “See if we can pick up his scent.”

  “I can cut my training short and meet up with you guys.” I adjusted my schoolbag as I bounced a glance between the two of them.

  “Nah, that’s alright, Jem. There’s not much you can do anyway. Not until you get your full Spidey senses,” he added playfully, his voice a secretive whisper.

  I nodded and then turned my attention to Trace. He was still avoiding eye contact with me, and the loss was making it hard for me to fill my lungs. Ben inspected him and then me.

  “Yeah, so, anyway, I got this thing to do.” He fiddled with the barbell in his ear. “I should probably go and do that now. I’ll catch you two kids later,” he said, obviously sensing the thick tension in the air and wanting to give us some time alone to iron out the issue.

  “See you later, Ben.”

  He smiled at me and then fist bumped Trace before taking off down the hall.

  “So I guess you’re still mad at me, huh?”

  Trace’s eyes slid over to me slowly, like they were too heavy with resentment for him to maneuver. “Wouldn’t you be?”

  If he was going on a date with Nikki? Hell yeah, I’d be furious. Then again, what other option did I have? “There was no one else to wipe her memory.”

  “Maybe you shouldn’t have done it then,” he said evenly.

  “I had to.”

  His jaw muscles flexed as he crossed his arms over his chest. “What do you want from me, Jemma? My approval? Because you’re not going to get it. I’m not good with this. With any of it.”

  “It’s one date, Trace. It doesn’t mean anything. He doesn’t mean anything. You have to know that.”

  “That’s what you keep saying,” he muttered, clearly not believing it anymore. “But every time I turn my back, there he is. I don’t like it, and I sure as shit don’t like him around you.” There was no mistaking the jealousy in his voice, the possessiveness in his tone.

  “He’s just helping us.”

  “Yeah, he’s helping alright,” he bit back sarcastically. “More like helping himself to you.” He shook his head, his eyes dropping with concern. “At the end of the day, he’s still just a Rev. He can’t be trusted.”

  “I know that,” I nodded in semi agreement. “But I can’t just walk away from the deal. He’ll take away the compulsion and everything bad that happened to Taylor will come crashing down on her again. I can’t do that to her.” I would go on a hundred Hell-dates with Dominic before I let that happen. “Besides, it’ll give me a chance to feel him out, to see if he figured out what this whole ‘great evil’ thing is about. It’ll be more like a business date.”

  He didn’t appear any less apprehensive about it.

  “And, I have my Amulet,” I continued, undeterred. “Hell, I’ll even bring some Cinderdust in case he really pisses me off.” I winked at him playfully, and his eyes softened in response. “You already know where my heart is, Trace, so how about you stop worrying about Dominic and start thinking about me and you instead. Like where we’re going for our first date.” I bounced up on my toes and stole a kiss from his lips.

  Heat flashed in his eyes. “Who says I haven’t already?” Reaching out a hand, he grabbed the hem of my blazer and tugged me forward into him.

  A soft gasp escaped my mouth as my body crashed into his. He paused to look down at me for a moment and then moved his hand to my head, burying his fingers in my hair and using it as an anchor to draw my mouth to his. Our lips connected, and I welcomed the sparks as they crackled against my skin. I could feel the want in his touch, the need in his kiss, and it only made the charge between us stronger. I pushed myself all the way into him and he groaned in response.

  “Nice form, Trace!” heckled someone from behind us.

  Trace pulled back from the kiss, but his hold on me never gave. “You like that, Travie?” he called back, his eyes directed somewhere over my shoulder. “I got it from your mom.”

  Claps of laughter erupted behind us.

  “Nothing better than a mom-joke to start the day.”

  His dimples popped as he smiled down at me. “You busy Saturday night? I need a date for Taylor’s party.”

  “What, Travie’s mom isn’t available?”


  He burst out laughing. “Something like that,” he said and then leaned into me. Brushing his lips along my cheek, he made his way to my ear and whispered hotly. “Will you go with me?”

  “Yes,” I said without thinking twice. Honestly. I’d be his date for the freakin’ end of the world if he asked me to.

  “I’ll pick you up at eight,” he said, trailing an even row of kisses along my neck.

  I sighed, sinking further into him. “I'm looking forward to seeing you all decked out in your tuxedo again.” Especially since the last time was cut short.

  “And I’m looking forward to seeing you in pretty much anything.” He pulled back and smiled seductively. “Or, better yet, nothing at all.”

  “Trace!”

  He laughed, all throaty and sexy.

  “Honestly, it might come to that if I don’t find a decent dress to wear in time.” Just thinking about dress shopping reminded me of Taylor and how she was there to save the day for me last time. I choked back the memory, afraid I might burst in tears if I didn’t keep myself in check.

  “You’ll find a dress,” he said as though he suddenly had the gift of foresight, “and you’ll look beautiful in it no matter what,” he added, circling his thumb against the small of my back.

  It was a small gesture, but it was enough. I lifted onto my toes and kissed him full on the mouth.

  The electrifying humming sensation immediately funneled through my body, making me feel as though everything were right in the world again. I knew it was a lie, of course, but I basked in the sweet deception nonetheless.

  33. DEMONOLOGY

  After three grueling hours of hand to hand combat training followed by an additional hour of practicing takedowns and grappling techniques, Gabriel-the-slayer-driver finally agreed to let me have a break. Twisting the cap off my water bottle, I guzzled down half of it and then collapsed on the sparring mats in a pool of my own sweat. My reprieve, of course, would be short-lived. Demonology 101 was up next and I knew he was about to exhaust my brain twice as much as he did the rest of my body.

  “What is a demon?” he asked, kneeling down on the mat without even so much as a lick of sweat on his skin.

  Apparently, it was time for a pop quiz of the magical variety.

  “A demon is an unclean spirit or otherwise dark soul from Hell that may or may not be in possession of a human body.”

  “How does one vanquish a demon?” he continued, firing his questions at me without the slightest pause.

  “A hell-trap or Exorcism, depending on the demon’s form.”

  “What is a Revenant?”

  “An earth-born vampiric demon, capable of mind-control and super human strength.”

  “How do you vanquish a Revenant?”

  “A stake to the heart or Cinderdust, preferably both.”

  “Define lycanthropy.”

  “The transformation of a human into an animal form, usually a wolf, also known as a werewolf.”

  “How is a werewolf created?”

  “From the bite of a Shifter while in animal form,” I answered, wiping the sweat from my forehead.

  “How can the werewolf curse be cured?”

  “Trick question,” I smirked at him. “The werewolf curse is incurable.”

  “How do you vanquish it?”

  “Heart removal or silver bullet to the heart.”

  “What is the Dark Legion?”

  “Descendants that have turned against the Order and pledged themselves to the dark side.”

  “What is the purpose of the Dark Legion?”

  “To, um—” I fumbled with my fingers as I tried to sift through the countless lectures for the correct answer. “To wreak havoc,” I answered, though it came out more like a question.

  Gabriel blinked his disapproval. “The purpose of the Dark Legion is to bring forth the Light Bearer, whom they believe to be the true Savior, and open the Gates of Hell.”

  “Right.”

  “Who is the Light Bearer?”

  “Lucifer, also known as Satan, also known as the Devil.”

  “And, as a disciple of The Order of The Rose, your purpose is to do what?”

  “To stop them at all costs.”

  Julian slow-clapped his hands. “You say it, but do you really believe it?”

  “Excuse me?” What the heck was that supposed to mean?

  “I just don't know if you're up for the challenge, kid.”

  “How about you worry about yourself, string bean, and I’ll worry about me.”

  “String bean?” He ticked his head back at my insult. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  I took a swig from my water bottle and grinned obnoxiously. Two could play his game. “Figure it out, genius.”

  “Alright, that’s enough. On your feet,” ordered Gabriel.

  Apparently, my break was over and I was convinced it was all Julian’s fault. I cut a hard look over at him and shuffled back up to my feet. Gabriel marched offside to the weapons case and pulled out some medieval, double-sided axe that looked like it came in straight out of the Middle Ages.

  “This is a battle axe.” He swung the weapon in the air, twisting it around his torso, under his arm, and then back again. “There are several different ways to engage your target using this one weapon. The bit,” he said, pointing to the glinting iron blade, “the handle, the butt—good for spiking, and the axe-eye—ideal for stabbing.” He swung the axe over his shoulder, around his side, and then straight forward, showcasing all the different angles and swinging techniques.

  “That doesn’t look very user-friendly,” I noted. It seemed rather big and clunky. “What exactly am I supposed to do with that, and how am I going to kill a Revenant with it?”

  “Not every battle you face will be waged on earth, Jemma. You will need different weapons for different battles, and at the end of the day, you need to be skilled in each of them.”

  “Right.” Trace’s words about this world and beyond whipped around my subconscious, reminding me that I was only scratching the surface when it came to this new world I was living in. “But can we just stick to Revs for now? Like, I still don’t know how to evade one if I needed to. Or maybe we can talk about tracking and ambushing them in the event that you can't really fight them outright?” I bit my lip, trying to quell my verbal diarrhea.

  “Why would you not be able to outright fight?” asked Gabriel suspiciously.

  Crap. Quick, start the back-peddling! “How should I know,” I laughed, trying to act ditzy and confused. “I'm just trying to take a more active role. You know, participate, ask questions...”

  “Sure.”

  I couldn't tell if he was buying it or not.

  “So, anyway, how do I use that thing?” I asked, ticking my chin to the axe.

  Without a warning, he tossed the axe over at me.

  Being that I was a normal, seventeen-year-old girl, my natural instinct should have been to flinch back or dive out of the way, but instead I threw my arm straight out and caught the handle in my hand, surprising myself and probably everyone else in the room.

  The faintest hint of a smile graced Gabriel’s mouth. I straightened my back as a wave of pride fluttered through my body. The truth was, I had to work damn hard for those smiles and it was worth it every time.

  After a very brief introduction into battle axe yielding, Gabriel was ready to put my new skill to the test. I wasn’t nearly as ready but I quickly learned that with Gabriel, you had to move fast or risk getting left behind. Coming at me from every direction, my only objective was to put him down.

  He moved quickly, too quickly for me to keep up, although in my defense, I’d just finished five hours of non-stop training and he was a Revenant who hadn’t even broken a sweat. We were clearly on uneven playing fields.

  “What’s the matter, Jemma? Can’t keep up?” said Gabriel, taunting me from behind me as I aimlessly swung the axe around.

  “Yeah, I’m a little tired,” I huffed, swinging again, and mis
sing again. “Sue me.”

  “And now you’re a little dead too,” he answered as he pulled the weapon from my grip and sent me flailing to the ground on my hands and knees. Hard. “Get up,” he said sans remorse.

  Snarling at him, I forced myself back up and retook my previous stance. He tossed the weapon back at me and started circling again, pushing at my back and knocking my arm down as I tried to bring the axe back into position.

  “Not good enough. Try harder.”

  I spun on him, hooking the axe from around the side, though he easily maneuvered out of my reach and disarmed me once again.

  “Dead again.” He swung it back to me.

  “This stupid thing is useless,” I said, adjusting my hold on it as though my grip on it were the problem here.

  “Again,” he ordered, ignoring my protests.

  He was really starting to tick me off.

  Holding the axe firmly in my hands, I trailed his every move, turning with him as he tried to weave circles around me, refusing to give up my back to him. As I readied myself for another attempt, so did he.

  He moved faster, jabbing me with his fist while continuously changing directions, making it hard for me to predict his next move. The more he jabbed me, the angrier I got, and the angrier I got, the harder it was for me to see anything but red.

  Cursing, I pulled back the axe and swung.

  Not only did he easily catch the weapon, but this time, he used it to hold me in place as he twisted my arm back and kicked me to the ground.

  “Dammit, Gabriel!”

  “Again.”

  “No! Not again!” I threw the axe across the room, watching furiously as it clinked and crashed against the floor. “What the hell is your problem? Why are you being like this?”

  “You wanted to step up your training, did you not?”

  “Yeah, but this—”

  “Well, that’s what I’m doing. Do you think your opponents are going to be gentle with you? They won’t. They’re going to play dirty and say horrible things that a girl like you should never have to hear, but that is the reality of this life. I’m trying to prepare you because if anything happens to you—” He cut himself off, rolling his shoulders as he tried to regain his composure. He softened his eyes and his tone when he continued. “The harder I make it for you in this room, the easier it will be for you out there. You must understand that.”