Infamous Love: A Mountain Haven Novel

by Lea Coll

  When she gripped me again, I lifted her to pull her shirt off and over her head, unhooking her bra. She lowered her shoulders, letting the straps fall, revealing small perky breasts, her nipples hard, begging for my mouth. She braced her weight on her hands. The effect lifted her breasts as an offering to me. My mouth watered to taste her skin.

  I watched her eyes as I lowered my mouth to one nipple, sucking it into my mouth, scraping it lightly with my teeth before soothing the sting with my tongue. Her eyelids fluttered as she moaned, arching further into my mouth. I moved to her other nipple, paying it the same attention.

  Then she dropped down onto her back, shoving her leggings down over her hips in one jerky motion. I hoped she was as desperate for me as I was for her. I moved down her body, helping her roll them off along with her black lace thong.

  I kissed my way up her calf and thighs, her muscles quivering under my lips.

  “Gray. I need you.”

  “I know, baby.” I kept my attention on the spot between her legs, not on the slip of my tongue. I’d never used an endearment in bed with another woman. With her, it felt right.

  I slid my hands under her ass, pulling her to my mouth, determined to make her mindless, to make her forget what I’d said. I licked and sucked until she was writhing on the bed, her thighs squeezing my head. I ground my cock against the bed, wanting friction, sliding one finger, then two, into her hot, wet channel. Her hips lifted off the bed with each plunge of my fingers. She arched, her back bowing off the bed as she climaxed.

  Her moans spurred me on as I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand, moving to grab the condom out of my wallet. She was chanting my name, reaching for me. That tenderness I felt earlier in the kitchen washed over me tenfold. I slid the condom down my shaft, lining myself up, pushing in slowly, inch by inch. I wanted to savor her tightness enveloping me for the first time.

  It hit me then. Once would never be enough.

  Her hands were everywhere, my shoulders, my chest, before settling for my face. I leaned down, kissing her as I slid in to the hilt. She felt so good, better than anything I’d ever felt. My heart was fluttering inside my chest, starting and stopping like a butterfly who hadn’t learned how to fly.

  Whether I wanted it or not, she’d eased under my skin, forcing me to feel things.

  I slid out, almost to the tip, then drove into her again. When kissing became difficult, I sat up, watching the spot where I disappeared into her, my hands under her ass lifting her, changing the angle. The sight was erotic, urging me to go faster, harder.

  When her moans increased, I knew I’d hit the spot I wanted.

  She slid her hand down her body, between her breasts, until they circled her clit. I groaned at the sight. This woman had no inhibitions. No shyness. No pretense.

  She clamped down on me. Tremors shook her body as her head tipped back in ecstasy.

  I thrust one more time, growling my release into her shoulder. The moment threatened to overwhelm my senses with the warmth of her skin, the brush of her hair, and the closeness I felt to her. I kissed her shoulder before pulling out, taking care of the condom in the bathroom. I took my time washing my hands, throwing cold water on my face.

  I needed a minute to process what happened. I didn’t regret what transpired, but it couldn’t go any farther. Not unless I wanted her to know everything about me, and I didn’t. I dried my face, telling myself not to fall for her. Maybe I should go home. Set the tone.

  When I returned to the bedroom, she was on her side, her hands curled under her face, looking soft, peaceful, and sated. Unable to follow through with my plan to leave, I slid under the sheets, kissing her shoulder.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.” She turned slightly so she could see me, a smile on her lips. “I’m just tired. Snowboarding then this.”

  “Will you stay?” she closed her eyes as if she couldn’t keep them open any longer.

  “Sure.” That same tenderness I’d felt for her in the kitchen swirled around my heart in intricate loops. I couldn’t tell her no.

  She rolled onto my chest, my arm naturally going around her shoulders, holding her tight. Her breath evened out as she fell asleep.

  Chapter 14

  Elle

  I woke early Monday morning with an arm banded tightly around me, my head resting on a firm chest, slowly rising and falling with each inhale. The relief was a physical, tangible thing.

  Gray stayed.

  I almost couldn’t believe it. I was sure he would have left after what we’d shared last night. It had been intense, even for me. I’d never experienced anything like it. Gray was passionate and considerate. I’d gotten lost in the feel of his mouth, hands, and tongue, forgetting my past and how anything between us was doomed.

  “Morning.” Gray’s voice was rough with sleep.

  Crew’s tail thumped on the comforter by my feet. He must have jumped up in the middle of the night. I’d need to get up soon to take him out.

  “Good morning.” I tipped my head back, admiring the scruff on his chin.

  Was he regretting last night? He’d pulled away from me after we’d visited the Rigbys and last night was a hundred times more real.

  He loosened his arm around my shoulders. “I have an early day.”

  I eased off him, already missing his arm around me.

  He stood, the sheet falling from his body. He walked naked to the bathroom, his defined ass on display.

  I lay back on my pillow, closing my eyes as he turned on the water for the shower. I suspected he’d back off after last night. Magic didn’t exist in the light of day. In his mind, he was probably running through a list of ways to let me down easily.

  I couldn’t regret anything.

  It was the easiest decision I’d ever made. I felt good with him. I felt cared for, respected. No one was pushing me to make a move. It wasn’t for ratings or to create drama where there was none. It was as real as it got.

  Him walking away, my past catching up with me, was inevitable.

  A few minutes later, he opened the door, his chest glistening with moisture from the shower, his cock semi-hard. I licked my lips, regretting not tasting him last night.

  “I have a surgery at eight.” Regret tinged his voice.

  I let the sheet drop so my breasts were visible, stretching my arms overhead. A part of me kept expecting him to run, to pretend last night was a one-time thing. “That’s too bad. I had plans for this morning.”

  He surprised me by resting one knee on the bed, hovering over me with his minty fresh breath. I wondered if he’d used my toothbrush. The intimacy of that act tugged at my heart. “I’ll have to take a rain check.”

  It wasn’t a question.

  He kissed me lightly, a promise of more. Hope bloomed, filling the empty cavity of my chest.

  “Yes, please.” Whatever he promised, I would agree to. I would enjoy the first private relationship I’d ever had. I’d never felt closer to someone after sex. He didn’t want anything from me.

  I propped myself up on the pillows as he tugged his jeans on commando, pulling a shirt over the smooth expanse of his torso.

  It was on the tip of my tongue to ask when I’d see him again. I restrained myself, knowing that was a dangerous question the morning after. I needed to give him time to process last night, to decide if this―if I―was what he wanted.

  He stood next to the bed, his gaze lingering on my breasts, my nipples hardening under his scrutiny. “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Leaving a beautiful, naked woman in bed.”

  Had I ever had a man talk about me this way? I wanted to retort with a—so don’t—but he didn’t have time. I didn’t want to be needy. This thing between us felt precarious.

  His finger rested under my chin, tilting it up. He kissed me hard. It felt more like a brand than a goodbye kiss. “I’ll call you later. I’ll let myself out.”

  I cleared my throat over the emotion I was feeling. “I’ll go down to the shop
in a minute and lock up behind you. I have to walk Crew.”

  He patted Crew’s head on the way out of my bedroom.

  I didn’t feel the chill of the air until I heard the soft snick of the door closing. Would the regrets filter in through the day, creating distance between us, telling him we were a bad idea?

  I eased under the covers, closing my eyes to relive the night before, every spine-tingling moment. He was intense, yet sweet and caring. My eyes popped open, remembering how he’d called me ‘baby’ in the heat of the moment. I wanted to think it was spontaneous, like he couldn’t help himself from calling me an endearment.

  He’d gone down on me as if he wanted to devour me, like he couldn’t get enough. My face heated when I remembered touching myself in front of him. I’d never been that uninhibited with someone, chasing my desire without hesitation. With Gray, I could be myself, the person I was meant to be. Not the show’s persona, Giselle, but Elle, the strong, independent woman, a successful business owner. The woman who knew what she wanted and went after it.

  I finally got up, taking Crew outside. Then I eased under the hot water of the shower. The bathroom smelled like him.

  Should I have told him who I was before we had sex, or should I hold on as long as I can before it all comes crashing down?

  I hadn’t even told Piper. No one in this town knew who I was. I couldn’t imagine revealing myself at this point. Not when it would ruin everything I’d worked so hard for, and anything between Gray and me.

  I pressed a hand against my chest, trying to ease the painful throb. Why was everything in my life affected by one horrible decision, compounded by many others? Why couldn’t I start over, leaving Giselle behind, shedding her skin, and becoming a better person―one I could be proud of?

  I deserved a successful business. I deserved Gray. For once in my life, I deserved real happiness, not manufactured, made for TV drama. I’d deal with my past when it came up. Until then, I wanted more snowboarding with Gray, more kissing, more touching.

  I got dressed, taking Crew for a quick walk, grabbing coffees for Piper and me at The Coffee Cowboy. I brought Crew back to the shop, turning the sign from closed to open. I let Crew hang out with us in the mornings when it was quieter.

  Piper walked in a few minutes later, pausing when she saw my face. “Did something happen?”

  I looked around, wondering if something was out of place.

  She pointed at me, coming closer. “No. You. Your face. You look more alive, happier or something.”

  Feeling slightly panicked, I busied myself organizing products so she wouldn’t notice my reaction. I should keep whatever was happening between Gray and me between us, but I wanted to talk to someone about it. I was so used to protecting my sister from my life, I never talked to her about guys. “I had a lot of fun yesterday. I went snowboarding with a friend.”

  “Was it Gray? It looked like there was something between you at the bar.”

  There was nothing but genuine curiosity on her face. “It was.”

  She grabbed the coffee from the tray, sitting in her chair. “I didn’t think Gray did anything other than work.”

  I sat across from her, cradling the warm coffee cup in my hand. Between waking up in Gray’s arms and my burgeoning friendship with Piper, my heart was overflowing. “That’s why I invited him. I thought it would be fun.”

  She shook her head in disbelief. “I don’t even know how you managed to convince him to take a day off.”

  I put my coffee on a nearby table, pulling out my phone, scrolling through to find the selfie we’d taken last night by the bonfire at the lodge. He’d placed his arm around me. He looked relaxed and happy. I’d been looking up at him as he’d snapped the picture. I could almost hear the sounds of the snow-making machines, loud and comforting, the warmth of the fire on our cheeks, the feel of his arm around my shoulders. I wanted that feeling to last.

  Piper looked over my shoulder. “That’s a cute pic.”

  “Yeah. It was a great day.” Looking at the two of us, the happiness on my face and the easy smile on his, dislodged something in my chest.

  “Is it a thing? Are you together?” She got up, getting her station ready for the day.

  “It wasn’t even a date. Just a friendly outing.” That ended up being a not-so-friendly evening. It felt good to keep that tidbit to myself.

  “I’ve never seen Gray with a woman. Henry said he dates but keeps quiet about it. Once, Gray said, ‘the longer you’re with someone, the more they want from you,’ when Henry asked why he’d ever had any long-term relationships.” At her last statement, she turned to me, her eyes full of concern. “I’m not really sure what he meant, but I’m worried about you.”

  My heart sank a little at her statement. I wanted this thing to be the real deal. I didn’t want to be another notch on someone’s bedpost. “I’ll be okay. I know this can’t go anywhere.”

  “I’m not saying it won’t. You just need to be careful.” She emphasized each word.

  I stood, giving her a hug. “Thanks, Piper. You’re a good friend.”

  She’d quickly become a confidant, someone I trusted. She was nothing like the friends I’d had on the show. I didn’t want to lose her, my shop, or this town. I especially didn’t want to lose whatever was building with Gray.

  Chapter 15

  Gray

  Henry walked into my office at lunch with a carry-out bag in his hand. “I come bearing lunch.”

  “I’m starving. Thanks.” I held my hand out for the bag, pulling out a wrapped Italian sub. It wasn’t uncommon for Henry to stop by for lunch from time to time.

  He sat across from me, unwrapping his sub. “Where were you last night?”

  Last night was family dinner night at Rigby’s Ranch. “I’m sorry. I was caught up in something.”

  “One person missing isn’t a big deal. You know that.”

  I took a large bite of the Italian sub, hoping he’d let his original question go.

  Henry shot me a knowing look. “The question is, where were you that was so important you missed a home-cooked meal?”

  I almost never missed dinner at the Rigbys’ house unless I was out on a call for the clinic. “I went snowboarding.”

  Henry paused, his sub halfway to his mouth. “By yourself?”

  “No.” I shifted in my chair.

  His gaze trained on me. “With who?”

  “Elle Carmichael.”

  I took another large bite so I could avoid the next question for a few seconds. I rarely talked about women with Henry, other than to admit an attraction. This thing with Elle was personal, something I wanted to protect.

  “Are you seeing her?”

  It wasn’t a secret I hadn’t had a long-term girlfriend in the entire time he’d known me. Henry would think it was a big deal. It was. Normally I wasn’t one to share, but I wanted advice. Remembering the way my heart clenched when I saw the picture on my phone this morning of us, I said, “I think so. We didn’t have a conversation or anything, but it seems like that’s where we’re headed.”

  Waking up with a naked woman wrapped in my arms spelled relationship in my world. I never spent the night, I never cuddled, and I never let anyone below the surface.

  “What makes her different?” Henry echoed the same sentiment ringing in my head.

  I took the last bite of my sub, leaning back in my chair. I took my time chewing, drinking water before I answered, “It’s a feeling I get when I’m around her. She’s nice, cares about animals, and wants to help me. She’s special.”

  Ever since yesterday, I had this warm, comforting feeling in my chest, encasing my heart like a warm sweater. It was something I hadn’t felt since before everything changed.

  “What you’re saying is that she’s willing to put up with you,” Henry cracked.

  I knew it wasn’t easy being with me, but to hear Henry describe it like that was still a little off-putting. “She’s convinced she can help me get the clinic.”
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br />   When she said she wanted to convince the townspeople, and the community, of what she saw, a piece of the armor I’d worn broke off. She was slowly wearing me down, making me believe I deserved someone like her. Someone for the long haul, who’d be by my side no matter what.

  “Are you going to tell her?” Henry stilled, his body tensed for my response.

  “Tell her what, how I feel?” I was surprised Henry had mentioned feelings. This wasn’t the sort of conversation we normally had.

  “No. Tell her why you don’t talk about your home life, your family, how you grew up.”

  The hair on my arms stood up. “I told her a little about my mom and my parents’ divorce.”

  He stood, gathering up the trash and placing it in the bin by the door. “That’s more than you told me. All I know is your parents divorced, you went to live with your dad, and you go back occasionally to visit. As far as I know, they’ve never visited here. We both know there’s more. There’s a reason you don’t talk about them, a reason you never go home. You keep everyone at arm’s length. I haven’t pushed over the years. I thought you’d eventually trust me enough to tell me.”

  For the first time, I saw hurt in his eyes. I hadn’t expected that. “I’m sorry. I never realized you—”

  “You never realized I cared? We’re friends, Gray.”

  Shame filled me that my one friend was hurt by my actions when all I’d ever wanted to do was protect the people in my life from what I’d experienced. “Close the door.”

  His eyes widened. “Seriously?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, it’s time.”

  My heart beat rapidly in my chest; my fingers drummed restlessly on the desktop. Here was the moment of truth. If he walked out disgusted by me and what happened, I wouldn’t tell Elle. I’d take this as a foreshadowing of how she’d react. Henry had known me longer than she has.

  He closed the door then sat across from me, his hands clasped in front of him, his elbows resting on his knees.

  I told him the whole story. Every detail I hadn't told anyone over the last twelve years.