Made with Love

by Tricia Goyer

  “Sorry, Mr. Miller—I lost track of time.” Noah removed his hat and turned it over in his hands.

  “I imagined that was what happened.” John smiled. “I never look down on a man who’s busy at work.”

  Noah studied the older man’s face in the shadows. His face was thin—evidence of his illness—but his eyes were large and brown, just like Lovina’s. There was no blame or accusation there, but still Noah’s squared shoulders had a hard time relaxing.

  “I didn’t mean to come so late and keep you up.”

  “You think you’re the one keeping me up?” He pointed a thumb behind him. “Come. Lovina has made pie. Lots of pie.” He turned to move to the kitchen.

  “No, wait.” Noah cleared his throat. “Can I talk to you first?”

  “Ja.” Instead of going to the kitchen, John Miller stepped outside. He motioned to the two rockers on the front porch. Noah sat in one and faced the older man.

  “Sir, we could talk about the weather or the progress on the shop, but I just need to get it out. You may have guessed that I have feelings for Lovina. I’ve never enjoyed spending time with anyone as much as I’ve enjoyed spending time with her, but I am afraid.”

  “Afraid?” John asked.

  Noah hesitated, wondering how to say what he needed to. Noah didn’t want to talk too highly of himself, declaring that all his mistakes were far behind him. But neither did he want to condemn himself too much and destroy any chance of a life with Lovina. Noah took a deep breath and then released it, determined to tell the truth—about his past and about God’s work in his life—the best he could.

  “Sir, there are things I need to tell you. Things I haven’t told Lovina yet. Things that happened back in my hometown in Illinois.”

  “Son, are you talking about the car accident? And the big mess you made of that building?”

  Noah’s jaw dropped. He didn’t know how to answer.

  “If my daughters were to tell you something about me, they’d tell you I like to read. I read The Budget religiously. I remember when I first heard about that story. An Amish young man on his rumspringa racing another car, losing control, and crashing. That’s a hard story to forget.”

  “It is. I wish I didn’t have to try to explain how I got into that state. How my life was back then. I didn’t have a relationship with God. And I don’t have any excuses. I just wanted to get it all out on the table. I’ve been wanting to tell Lovina for a while, but I’m afraid.”

  “Son, if you’re going to talk to her, I want you to tell her the whole truth.”

  “I will, even though some of the events of that night are fuzzy.”

  John Miller shook his head. “I’m not only talking about the accident. I’m talking about the restitution.”

  “Sir?” Noah asked, unsure what he was leading to.

  “You made a mistake, son, yes. But you also made it right.” John’s eyes twinkled in the moonlight. “I followed that story too.” John pointed to the door as if telling Noah to go ahead and get it all out before he thought twice.

  Noah nodded, relief flooding over him. He shook the man’s hand and stood.

  “And son…” John’s voice trailed after him.

  Noah turned. “Yes?”

  “I need to apologize too.”

  Noah rubbed his furrowed brow. “For what?”

  John stood slowly. “Months and months ago you came by looking for work. We talked about your working on my roof, but I never hired you. I’m sorry to say that at the time I was just trying to keep peace with my wife.” He offered a humorless smile. “She gets her own idea about things…”

  “I understand. Everything has worked out as it should. God has seen to that.”

  “Yes, well, I also want you to know that Anna does get bent out of shape about some things, but she’s not unreasonable. Once she gets to know you, she will come around. Just love my daughter as you already do and my wife will soon see what everyone else does. You’re a gut man, Noah. A gut man.”

  Noah smiled. He’d wanted to come to some type of agreement about pursuing Lovina, but from the sound of her father’s words Noah was getting more than that. He was getting the man’s blessing. “Thank you, sir. I’ll do my best. I promise. Lovina is an easy person to love.”

  John Miller chuckled. “No one is easy to love all the time, son, but I know you’ll do your best. She has a strong will, that one. Most people don’t see it. She’s soft as velvet on the outside with a spine tough as iron underneath.”

  “And that’s how she’s been able to come this far with the pie shop. You need a strong will to tackle that.”

  “I’m glad you’ve seen that too. Just know that even those with iron wills need gentleness at times. Do your best, Noah, to give her soft care and understanding…even when you think she doesn’t need it. It’ll take you far.” His eyes twinkled. “And that’s from a man who’s been married more years than you are old.”

  Sweet Potato Pie

  One 9-inch unbaked pie crust

  ⅓ cup butter

  ½ cup firmly packed brown sugar

  2 large eggs, beaten

  ¾ cup heavy cream

  2 cups sweet potato, cooked and mashed

  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

  ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

  ¼ teaspoon ground ginger

  ¼ teaspoon salt

  dash ground nutmeg (optional)

  whipped cream (optional)

  Preheat oven to 425°. Mix all ingredients together thoroughly in a bowl. Pour into the pie crust. Bake 15 minutes, then reduce heat to 350° and bake 40 minutes longer, being careful not to burn the crust. Remove from the oven and let cool. Refrigerate until ready to serve. Top with sweetened whipped cream and a dash of nutmeg if desired.

  Twenty-Eight

  Swallowing pride rarely gives you indigestion.

  AMISH PROVERB

  Noah took two steps into the kitchen and all the conversation stopped. Six sets of eyes turned to him, and he forced a smile. He scanned the faces and then settled his gaze on Lovina. Her eyes were full of questions and worry. He released a slow breath.

  “I’m so sorry I’m late. We were setting up tables and chairs. I lost track of time.”

  He looked to her mem next, who was eyeing him with curiosity. “Ma’am, please forgive me. I hope it’s not too late.”

  “Too late for pie? Never!” Hope called out. And then the laughter of her sisters followed.

  “Which one would you like a piece of first?” Faith asked. “So far my favorite has been the pecan, but all of them are delicious.”

  “I’d love a piece…well, a small bite of each.” He cleared his throat. “But first, may I have a moment alone with Lovina?”

  He looked first to her and then to her mem. Her mem offered a soft nod. “It’s a perfectly lovely night, and I smell gardenias on the air. There will be plenty of pie when you’re done talking.”

  Lovina moved to the back door and he followed. She sat on a bench by the back fence and patted the space beside her. He sat down, and even in the moonlight he could see the worry clear on her face.

  “You have bad news, don’t you?” She bit her lower lip.

  “Why would you say that?”

  Lovina pointed. “Your ears are red. They always turn red when you’re angry or upset…or if you have bad news.”

  “Well, I—”

  The slam of the window closing interrupted his words. Noah glanced up to see that Hope had shut it.

  Laughter spilled from Lovina’s lips, breaking the tension. “I’m so thankful for Hope. Her no-nonsense attitude keeps us all in line.”

  “It’s good to see you smile. And I’m thankful for the way you care. And…” Noah’s heart pounded in his chest. He’d do anything not to disappoint her, but he knew that in the next few minutes, that was exactly what he was going to do.

  “I have to tell you about my past, Lovina. I wish I didn’t have it trailing behind me, but ignoring it isn’t going to make
it go away.”

  Lovina didn’t seem surprised. She nodded and waited.

  Noah tilted his head. “Do you know? I mean…has someone already told you about what happened?”

  “I don’t know what happened. But my mem has let me know that something did.” She lowered her head and looked to her lap. “I’ve considered all types of things. Maybe you were married before. Or have a child. Maybe…”

  “Oh, nothing like that!” He lifted her face with the gentle nudge of his finger under her chin. She looked up at him, seemingly relieved.

  Noah swallowed and then started in. “When I turned sixteen I couldn’t wait to get a car and drive. There were plenty lying around the auction yard, and I’d been eyeing them for a while. I did all kinds of salvage work and worked odd jobs to save money, and just a few months after my sixteenth birthday I bought an old Chevy Nova. It was a piece of junk, but it ran. Around the same time my brother Leonard bought an old Mustang. I can’t tell you how many summer nights we worked on those cars…much to our parents’ dismay.”

  “I can only imagine.” Lovina listened, her full attention on him. “I’ve seen it happen in our community. I’ve seen the heartbroken parents.”

  “That’s not the worse of it.” He leaned forward and took her hand in his, as if wanting to hold on. Wanting to gain strength from her love. “It took a few years, but we finally got the cars up and running. And we did the stupidest thing we could do. We started racing.”

  Lovina lifted an eyebrow. “Like on a race track?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “With each other. On the weekends mostly. We’d find a lonely stretch of road and drive as fast as we could. I loved it…the speed. The adrenaline. I almost felt as if I was flying. Sometimes others asked to race us too, but some guys were too dangerous. They drank as they drove.” He let out a harsh laugh. “We thought we were safe because we were sober. But we couldn’t have been more wrong.”

  She studied his face, trying to picture him as the wayward teen. “And then…”

  “And then one night we were racing, and I still don’t know what happened. We were going around a corner by an Amish gift shop. It was winter and either I hit ice or my tire went off the pavement. Next thing I know my car was sailing through the air.”

  Lovina gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.

  “It went right through the front windows into the shop. By the time my car stopped, only the rear bumper wasn’t in the store. The place was a total loss.”

  “Were you hurt?”

  “I broke my nose and a few of my ribs on the steering wheel. It was a miracle I wasn’t hurt more.”

  “And the shop?”

  “Oh, you know how the Amish are. They set up a new shop for her in town. They thought it was easier to build a new one on a piece of property in town. They demolished the old place. Only a few things were salvageable. Of course I learned about all that while sitting in prison.”

  “Prison?” Lovina swallowed hard.

  “Yes, I was in there over a year. My dat didn’t post bail. I got cited for reckless driving, but my defense attorney was able to get me out since the police report stated that ice on the road was most likely a factor. But…” Tears pooled in Noah’s eyes, and his guilt piled upon guilt. “But while I was locked up Leonard kept on racing. And he started drinking with those other guys too. He was a passenger in the car of an Englisch kid one night. They hit a tree.”

  Lovina gasped. “And was he okay?”

  “The driver walked away but Leonard was killed instantly.” Noah lowered his head. “I always told myself that if I hadn’t been in jail I could have watched over him.”

  “Oh, Noah.” She placed a hand on his arm. “It’s not your fault. Leonard made those decisions. And maybe God was protecting you…who knows if you would have been in that car too.”

  He nodded. He’d thought about that. The accident had been a wakeup call. Would he have continued down the same destructive path as Leonard if he hadn’t been stopped? Noah had no doubt that would have been the case.

  “One of the chaplains in the jail gave me a Bible, and I began to read it—something I’d never done growing up. I began to seek after God. I dedicated my life to Him. I started to understand grace. And when I got out I knew I needed to do what I could to make things right.”

  “What do you mean?”

  His heel kicked against the leg of the bench, and for some reason it seemed just as hard to tell her what had come next. Maybe because, from the earliest age, one was taught not to be prideful.

  “Even though the Amish community built a new shop in town, every time I passed the demolished shop my heart sank. And that was when I knew I had to do something. I worked for a year, saved up all my money, and then spent two years rebuilding her shop.”

  Lovina’s eyes widened. “By yourself?”

  “Well, mostly. Halfway through a friend pitched in, but it was good for me to do it. I built it from the ground up, and that’s where I learned most of my carpentry skills. To save money I bought odds and ends from the auction yard, and I also salvaged job sites. That friend who helped…he was my dat’s cousin, and he became a mentor. He’d messed up at a young age too, and he was impressed by my decision to rebuild the shop. I turned to him for advice on carpentry and life. He made such a difference to me that I wanted to do the same for Mose and his friends.” Noah’s voice trailed off. He couldn’t tell her the rest. The wound was too fresh to tell Lovina about Mose’s decision to leave. But he would in good time.

  Lovina opened her mouth to speak, and then she closed it again.

  “What, Lovina? What were you going to say?”

  She squeezed his hand tighter and ran her thumb over the back of his hand. “It seems silly, but I was going to say that I’m thankful.”

  “Thankful?”

  “Ja. Don’t you see, Noah? Everything that’s happened to you—the good and the bad—it’s all brought you here today. To Pinecraft. To the shop. To me.”

  Lovina’s eyes were wide as she looked at him, her expression one of deep love. Noah had heard of a person’s life flashing before his eyes, and listening to her that was exactly what happened.

  He pictured himself as a little kid, walking through the aisles of salvage materials at his dat’s auction yard. He saw the wayward teenager, trying to run away from conformity…and getting lost in the process. He pictured the set of his chin when he picked up the hammer and decided to rebuild the destroyed gift shop one nail at a time. He also remembered the forlorn look in Mose’s eyes as he sat in the county jail four years after Noah had sat in that same cell. Noah had known then that he had to get Mose out of there before his nephew’s heart hardened completely. And that was why he’d brought them here. Each image was like a piece of a puzzle, and as they clicked into place in his mind, it formed a picture of now. Of this place. Of Lovina.

  Amazement and joy somersaulted through him.

  “What are you thinking about?” she asked in a whisper.

  “This feels right. Us. Together. It’s as you said—everything fits.”

  “It’s God-designed and right.” The words escaped in a sigh. She smiled. “He meant for us to be together like this now.”

  “Yes.” Noah didn’t know what else to say. Thankfulness to God flooded his heart as he realized what a great gift God had planned for him.

  Lovina’s lips parted slightly, and he imagined kissing her. His heartbeat quickened and he felt his pulse in his neck. Thankfulness, joy, and desire rose up within him. He wanted to be with Lovina their whole lives long. He wanted to be with her completely. He wanted to help her fulfill her dreams in this season and in every season to come.

  He reached over and took her hand, weaving her fingers through his. “I love you, Lovina. I want to spend my life with you.”

  He watched as she swallowed hard and smiled. But instead of the uncertainty there was only peace in her eyes.

  Noah tightened his grip. “You don’t seem surprised.”r />
  “Well, is it wrong to say that I was hoping?” She gazed up at him with such admiration that he thought he’d burst. And though he waited for her to declare her love, she didn’t say it. Even though he could see the love in her eyes, the words didn’t come.

  Don’t rush her. Give her time. Everything is happening at once, he told himself. Still, he couldn’t hold back his heart. He bent down and kissed the top of her head where her hair met her temple. He wanted to kiss her lips, but not until she told him she loved him too. He wanted Lovina to say it. To mean it.

  They sat there for another minute, enjoying the sweet-smelling evening breeze.

  “Are you ready for some pie?” she finally dared to ask.

  “Today and every day from now on.” He chuckled, but as soon as he said it he wished that he hadn’t. For instead of joy on Lovina’s face there was worry. Didn’t she have the same desire—to grow in their relationship? To allow herself to fall in love?

  There was no smile on Lovina’s face as she rose, still holding his hand. “I think we can arrange that, Noah Yoder…but first we have a pie shop to open.” She tried to smile, but Noah could see that he’d pushed too far. Lovina cared for him. He knew she did. Now he just needed her to realize that for herself.

  In God’s good time, he told himself, hoping he wasn’t just setting himself up for heartbreak. Because no matter how he looked at it, helping her open her pie shop was no longer enough. Noah knew he had Lovina’s respect, but now he wanted her heart.

  Lovina couldn’t believe how late it was when Noah finally left. In his hand was a plastic container filled with pie, but his stomach held even more. The old-fashioned buttermilk pie had been his favorite, and Lovina wasn’t surprised. Noah appreciated things with a heritage—things that weren’t too fussy or pretentious.

  Lovina hummed to herself as she put away the rest of the pie and washed the plates and forks. Her sisters had all gone to bed, but she couldn’t sleep. She sat at the kitchen table and folded the cloth napkins as her mind replayed Noah confessing his love and telling her how he wanted to spend his life with her. She wanted to hear that, didn’t she? So why did those words make her as nervous as they did excited?