Beauty In The Chaos

by M. Street

  27

  Parts of Me

  A

  wareness rang early with the intensity of a firehouse siren. I was hoping the blissfulness of last night’s new beginning would linger longer, or at least ease me into the mortal mess impatiently waiting to crash in. My infant mom always told me to do the day’s work first, but I didn’t know how to fix the irreparable.

  I reluctantly opened my eyes, freezing instantly as I realized I was in the midst of a vision. I held buoyant so as not to disturb the fragility of this unexpected gift. Keeping my mind from racing forward and blowing it all away, I released myself into the meandering current of my flowing super-consciousness. It had been a long time since a vision had visited. With the quest for direction, answers, and most importantly, hope, I stayed calm in an entirely foreign place that my subconscious had constructed.

  The uncharted expanse of my vision was larger than any universe. For as far as I could fathom, all around me was a vast, murky white light, blushing with a tint of pink. Above, below, left, and right were all one thing.

  Wildly, I was without form or physicality, replaced by instrumental vibrations. I was simply illuminated percussion. Feelings of wonderment generated a pleasing hum in the outer and inner space. Nothing registered in the silent white surroundings. Weirdly, I did not feel alone.

  Nothing was happening, pushing my free-flowing state into waking. Funneling frustrations and waiting worries began to draw me out of the most puzzling vision I’d ever had until something finally caught my attention. Out of the white, a pinprick of difference drew my attention.

  I dropped myself into low gravity, releasing back into the river of perception. My omni-vision focused on a twinkling light approaching rapidly. The sparkle split into three orbs spinning harmoniously. I innately recognized the silver sphere as Dev. His resonances of love and worry sang and clanged clearly in the world of white. Without effort, we synchronized into a dancing orbit upon his arrival. Seeing his essence in my dream was too intense for me not to be with him. I loved this world of pure light, but I needed to touch his mocha skin and stroke his course black hair and drink in his minty rose scent, again and again. Before I succumbed to my giddy consciousness, I caught a glimpse of the two other flashes dashing around us.

  Both spheres were different from Dev and me. They were of equal charge and brightness but differed in color. They were of the same light, but their lumens cast in multiple dimensions, creating a pristine glow among the milky-white universe. One was violet with a pearl sheen while the other was greenish with a silver sheen. Both were so brilliant. Before I could reach their vibrations, my eyes popped open.

  By the closeness of the rising sun, I knew I had slept for a record six hours. Jupiter was setting, shining the brightest in the receding red-velvet night. I openly basked in Dev’s royal silver, smiling just because. On this particular morning, I was permanently transformed.

  Undoubtedly, I had grown again. I was elementally stronger. Every photon of my aura was clad in charge, drenching the intimate clearing with coral pearl. Dev, always and forever vigilantly watching over me, formulated into human form, still holding me in his arms. With a purr, he kissed the back of my neck, adding his silver to the fire.

  Everything was different because I was different. I had no questions of love, or whatever fundamental force that makes one forsake everything for the benefit of another. All thoughts, words, or deeds done for him were done for me as well. The twilight showers rained in crisper and with more color; the redwood auras gleamed a brighter green, and the sounds of nature chimed richer. I floated into pieces, basking in the bonds I shared with Dev.

  “Hey,” I said with a simple smile, turning to be face-to-face. Even though every aspect of Dev was permanently held in the vault of who I was, he appeared different. He was my spouse in every way now. We belonged to each other. My body stayed a decade older, despite wanting to slip into a younger state. I was heavier and curvier with long, coiled red hair. My flushed pearlescent aura naturally wrapped around his silver like the wet wings of a butterfly. I ran my fingers across his beautiful, stubbly face, relishing in my infinite fortune. Dev was drained from the narrow getaway in the Congo and from standing watch all night, but the glitter in his silver twinkled like the sun on the sea. Pink flakes of light rose around us like fireflies from our sated, simmering souls.

  “You had a vision,” he said happily and with certainty.

  “Can you see them, my visions?” I asked, knowing he felt everything I did. Our states were still pleasurably locked wide open, in and out of consciousness.

  “No.” Dev kissed my forehead softly. “I cannot see with your mind’s eyes. That is uniquely yours,” he said, his voice muffled from his lips on my neck. He nibbled on my ear firmly, so like Jazz, and tried to hide a yawn. “Something felt nice in your vision.”

  “You.” I chuckled, spacing off, trying to piece meaning to the unusual vision. “It’s ok to love despite the uncertainty. Or at least that is what I think it was about,” I said, reliving the force between Dev and me in my white space trip.

  “I like that,” Dev said playfully. He pounced on top of me, effortlessly displaying his superhuman self. His began to morph his clothes off, exposing a familiar resonance that tripped, then trapped, in my head.

  “What was that?” I asked sitting up, breaking his amorous friskiness.

  Dev smiled reaching into his satchel. “The last piece of your mask, my lady,” he said triumphantly, pulling out two pieces of ivory.

  “Don’t call me that,” I said, but I was too grateful to care about his formal salutation. Normally I would supercharge a prick of light, but I was too carried away on the shock. I naturally softened, surfing high on astonishment.

  “Olo and I were convinced you would be able to identify the ivory quickly with your abilities perfecting exponentially.” The mention of Safe knocked me out of my cozy world, making me feel the cold, crisp air cascading down the mountainside.

  “Worrying isn’t going to help,” Dev said plainly with the gentleness of a true heart. I dipped back into the joy of being weightless in my vision, unchaining my clinging woes.

  “Yeah, I know you’re right,” I replied, settling in his violet pools. “How did you find it?” I asked, figuring in circles.

  Dev slouched back, still in need of sleep. “You are a part of me.” He peered deep inside me, displaying gratefulness in his features. “I can feel what is good for you as easy as you can. When we arrived in the Congo and you felt the matching ivory in the cave, I felt it too. The site was secured and I knew we didn’t have much time so I raced into the cave to get the last piece of your mask.”

  I kissed him, snatching the two small cone-shaped tips of ivory out of his open palm. Upon contact, I felt the match of the ancient mammoth that lived many eons ago. She was small in size, but large in soul. I reached into the inner pocket of my summer dress, pulling out the necklace Luja had custom-crafted. I felt the attraction as I brought the silky metallic purse holding the black pearl and emerald pairs.

  Undoing the ingenious clasp, I opened the pouch and dropped in the cones of ivory. With a deep breath, I laid the netted gems against my breast, hoping for a game changer. Like math, my aura rapidly divided into pure infancy. My storming pearl aura was completely masked.

  I was a ghost.

  “Incredible,” Dev said, removing his touch from my forearm. The shudder exposed the whites around his burning chestnut eyes. “I cannot feel you. Not even this close,” he added, swinging between elation and loss.

  “This is a good thing,” I said, still able to read his fears of losing me through the deadening veils.

  “Where would Eli hold Olo?” I asked, immediately flying into dense, low-visibility possibilities. Although outgunned, having a mask gave me sniper abilities. Purpose propelled me into standing, redressing in flowing lace and silk.

  “Piper.” Dev spoke my name deliberately, injecting copious rays of cranberry into his silver. His tired
body drained his shallow patience. He was fully asserted before I could do a first pass on any crazy course of action.

  “I know,” I said, taking off my necklace so he could have all of me back. Dev’s riling concerns promptly echoed through my head. Lowering, I kissed him, quieting his fears. Feeling the rate of energy flowing from my lips to his, I knew his quick-tempered mood was due to exhaustion.

  “You need to rest,” I chimed, nestling close to him. “I’ll stand watch until you are a hundred percent. ‘If possible, wait for all parties to heal before action.’” I reiterated Jeremiah’s survival instructions. The Canite king had hypothesized countless scenarios, but not one in which he lost his much-loved Miguel.

  “After being exposed your light, Theia will be able to find you just as easily as Eli,” Dev said forcefully.

  “Theia?” I asked pointedly. “Are there any more blood relatives standing against me that I don’t know about?” Dev felt my pain of not knowing my dad had a sister.

  Dev took my hands. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “I didn’t think you needed to know about Theia. Not just yet. I didn’t want to set you up for disappointment.”

  I got closer, interlacing our limbs, sensing his inner struggle over the matter.

  “Theia is Cal’s older sister. She is the last of your family,” Dev explained. “The fact that she didn’t turn us in is very curious. We didn’t know how Theia would react when she found out about you. Even after he birthed Cal, Theia fell in line with Eli’s monarchy.”

  He paused, downed by disappointment. “Theia was different than Cal; she was weak and easily swayed. She caved under Eli’s force. It was important to Eli to have her near, in lieu of Esther. Your mother could never agree to Eli’s dictatorship. Theia was the only family who didn’t despise him. In exchange for her sworn loyalty, she was granted every perk and given high status in the Arbitri court. However,” Dev narrowed his brow, “Eli forbade Theia to bear children.”

  “What, why?” I blurted out. The restriction was odd. From what Mom told me about the royal light and bloodline, Theia would be of no threat. Only I was.

  “Paranoia is another one of Eli’s traits.” Dev retracted the corner of his lips, showcasing his elongated incisors. “His actions are rooted in madness.”

  There was no reasoning or speculating over a crazy person. The more I knew about Eli the less I wanted to talk about him. “I sensed conflict in Theia. Maybe she will help us rescue Olo,” I said optimistically.

  “That is why I didn’t tell you about her. I didn’t want you to misplace faith in her.” Dev spiked. “At first, when Theia didn’t summon Eli, I thought learning of your existence had swayed her allegiances, but when she leapt away with Olo, I knew she was too afraid. I could smell it. I sped off to acquire the ivory when you heard its resonance because I knew a trap was going to be sprung. It was only a matter of time.” Dev reddened his light, blackening close to hate. “I know who cowardly called Eli to turn you over.”

  As much as I wanted to fight it, there was no doubt someone I called family was really a fake. “I don’t want to believe it,” I said, scared by my blindness. “Who?”

  “Sabina,” Dev said accusingly, like she was a cold-hearted killer.

  “No!” I interjected.

  “Is there anyone that you would not vehemently object to?” Dev asked.

  I stopped, recursively not answering the question, always coming up empty. There wasn’t a single soul in the Black Forest that I did not trust with my life. Everyone looked, felt, and acted like an immediate friend.

  “Not Sabina,” I declared more coolly. Her motherly feelings flowed authentically, especially when we sang together. Although she didn’t care for Dev, her attention and guidance were too stern for disguise. She openly aired her purple vengeance over the destruction of the Avian fortress.

  “The Avians do not want the future queen to couple with a Vampacoti. They would rather see you birthed.” Dev clenched his teeth, fists, and light.

  “Eli knew about me before anyone knew about us. Not even Mom knew that we loved each other.” I rained all over on his accusation. “Besides, no one knew you were my protector for centuries.” From the discourse running through him, I knew Dev was holding firm in his allegation.

  “What does Olo think?” I asked, fishing for different angles.

  “At first, he thought I was the informant!” Dev huffed, changing his stance. “Once we got past that, he trusted no one.” Dev shifted with thinking bees dashing around his head.

  “Valbeth,” he said, pulling out his crystal communicator. He carefully checked for messages, taking caution not to go online. “Nothing.” His silver frazzled. Dev had been convinced her cover would be blown after we left the Black Forest.

  I went blank, reeling when something inside my body sharply pained. “Ugh.” The air rushed out of my lungs. I doubled over from a jabbing coming from my sides.

  “Are you ok?” Dev asked, holding me upright, alarmed by my adrenaline rush.

  “I don’t know,” I answered, shaking off the startling sensation. “I had sharp pains for a second.” I rubbed the front tops of my pelvic bone. The poking hurt fled as fast as it came on, but the feeling left tracks in my memory.

  Dev’s worn out body spiked intense worry making it hard to think straight. “I’m ok, really,” I said, attempting to still his tidal wave of concern.

  “We need Luja,” Dev said grudgingly, uncharacteristically flickering.

  “I’m fine. Please lie down. We can’t do anything until you are rested.” I levitated to kiss Dev. I pushed my body against his while pulling him in, wrapping my arms and valences of pearl around him like a cocoon. My initiation sparked pink, lowering his fears and lifting his love. Dev succumbed to our beautiful bond.

  “Ok,” I laughed, breaking lips. It was close to impossible to stop my wanting of him, feeling his wanting of me so intensely. “Hurry up and get some sleep so we can love again.” I laughed, overflowing with affection and playful smiles.

  Dev sighed in agreement, resisting his desires. He struggled with his lack of charge putting him at a disadvantage. “Wake me if anything changes. Promise me,” he emphasized, splaying his glittering aura.

  “Yes, of course. I’ll post watch. And because of you, I can go invisible,” I said pulling out my mask, shading infant. I stroked his face so he could feel the strength of my devotion and affection. I lifted into the air, resting between the trunks of the redwood queen.

  Dev circled, flashing into the giant black-and-white cat with upper and lower teeth protruding. He dropped to the ground, pointing his array of spiky whiskers toward me. Keeping his violet stare adhered to my position, he closed his eyes. He sniffed, raising and lowering his head. He finally stayed down, growling deeply before dream flies swirled halos just above his furry ears.

  Tucking my mask away, I closed my eyes and assumed a lotus position like Safe had taught me. Keeping my aura folded closed into a bud, I sharpened my array of snooping receptors. My consciousness divided, fingering like branches off of branches. Taking steady inhales of redwood, I dissolved into a meditative state. I loved listening without thought. The feeling of oneness with nature was euphoric.

  Tears split my eyes and heart open as I felt Miguel’s benevolent essence with both my moms. I didn’t know getting older meant amassing missing moods. Breaking me from stumbling into sadness, an unfamiliar presence supportively surrounded me. Although fresh, the sensation was familiar, like I had finally noticed something that had always been. The masculine love was strong and sturdy, like Jeremiah, but part of me. I cried happy and blue feelings realizing my dad had always been with me. Longing to touch him pulled harder from never having been held by him.

  Refocusing on the now, I quieted myself, returning to sightless seeing. Safe was nowhere to be felt. I knew getting him back wasn’t going to be easy, but my completed mask and expanding abilities ignited a renewed confidence. Mining the skies for Sabina, Ozwald, and Luja’s gold ca
me up empty. Namid’s mighty bronze was nonexistent as well. Jeremiah, Raven, and Haruz’s copper were silent in the somber aftermath of the Congo. Everyone was following procedure, staying spookily quiet.

  Bizarrely and curiously calling out like a sledgehammer to a rail was Josh, my longtime friend. The loud and clear connection begged for investigation, but with life and loss interchanging, it would have to wait. Feeling Josh so closely drifted my ears back to Oak Creek. Charlie rained down inside me like a sudden thunderstorm. His dull and empty sadness wet my face, flooding my spirit with restless agony. Part of me would always be missing without him near. Having my mask back made not seeing him unbearable, knowing he was a leap away.

  I looked down at my black-and-white-striped love through watery eyes filled with tormenting tension. There wasn’t anything we wouldn’t do for each other. Putting the other first propelled both of us into giving more and taking less. Hurting him, especially intentionally, sent aches up my spine, causing my heart to skip a beat. He would not forgive me if I went, and I would not forgive myself if I didn’t.

  Without breathing, I opened a leap point, screaming up and away from everything I held precious to everything I held dear.

  28

  Beautiful Mistake

  M

  y intuition armed, packing my senses hot. Breathing briskly, mostly from nerves, I slipped on the metallic mesh necklace, going invisible. I glided down as quiet as a drifting willow herb seed. I came to an unsettling rest in the middle of the woods between the paths less traveled in a place I used to call home. The summer scents of early morning Oak Creek lit up my senses, putting real-time experience to treasures held forever in the hallways of my heart. I cleared the leap mists, relishing as the engrained memories came to life firsthand. The late lilacs perfuming the air, the quartets of robins’ songs, a pair of parenting cardinals, and abundant seasonal auras elicited homey creature comforts.