by Mark Seaman
Mr Taylor took another draw on his cigarette. “So, you are enjoying your duties with us?”
“Yes sir. As I said earlier I am very happy and find Elizabeth to be quite charming. You must be very proud of her?”
He smiled again. “We are.” Pausing he looked down at his cigarette before flicking some ash from it into the ashtray next to his cup. “Perhaps I should phrase my question differently.”
I felt confused, not sure how to respond but desperate to appear willing if he thought I should be doing more or was falling short of their expectations in some way.
“Is there something else you would like me to do, sir, with Elizabeth perhaps? I truly do want to please you and Mrs Taylor and would hate to think I am failing you in some way.”
He sat looking at me for a moment, almost quizzically, which only increased my sense of unease; then finishing his tea he took another long draw on his cigarette. I noticed his hand was shaking slightly as he leant forward to stub out the cigarette in the ash tray.
“Actually there is something else. Although I should add that it doesn’t concern Elizabeth. Both my wife and I are in full agreement nobody could do more for her than you are and, for which, as I have already said, we are both entirely grateful.”
I smiled by way of thanks for his compliment. “I’m sure I’d be prepared to help in any way I can. I know how busy you both are at the moment and how tired Mrs Taylor gets, especially at the end of the day.”
“Thank you, Ruth, that’s exactly the response I was hoping for.” He stood up and moved to his desk. I smiled again, thankful I had said the right thing. He sat on the edge of his desk, the light from the window reflecting behind him and throwing a shadow over me. He sat for a few moments without speaking and with the sun behind him I couldn’t see his face which unsettled me slightly. After what seemed like an age he leant forward towards me.
“As you quite rightly say my wife does get very tired of late, fully understandable in her present condition of course.” He paused. “Perhaps you have noticed a little tension between us recently? Helen and I are both feeling a degree of anxiety about the forthcoming birth and this has led to the occasional difference of opinion between us.”
“I have noticed Mrs Taylor has been resting more of late which is quite understandable in her condition but as to any tension between you I am not sure it is my place to comment. Actually I think you have both proved a real example to us all in recent weeks, demonstrating so much patience towards Elizabeth and all of the staff considering everything you are both having to deal with at this time, if I am allowed to say that sir?”
He smiled at me. “That’s very kind of you Ruth, but the truth remains that Helen and I have struggled a little in our relationship of late.”
I placed my cup and saucer on the tray. “I’m not sure you should be telling me this, sir, if you don’t mind my saying. What goes on between you and Mrs Taylor is none of my business. Perhaps I should leave?”
I wasn’t sure as to which direction our conversation was headed but was beginning to feel uncomfortable and didn’t want to appear to be betraying my relationship with Mrs Taylor by continuing to speak in this way.
“I apologise if I have embarrassed you, Ruth, that was never my intention. Indeed I was hoping to ask for your assistance in helping me to alleviate some of that tension. That is if you are truly of a mind to help?”
Although I couldn’t see his expression because of the light shielding his face his voice and manner appeared calm and reasoned which encouraged my response to be equally relaxed.
“I’m sorry if I spoke out of turn, sir, but the last thing I want to do is to come between you and Mrs Taylor.” I sat upright in my chair. “I would be only too willing to help in any way I can, providing of course you feel I have the appropriate skills required?”
He leant forward allowing the shadow to move from his face. He was smiling at me. “Thank you.” He rose from the desk and moving back to his chair sat opposite me again.
“Would you like some more tea?”
“Thank you but no. Would you like me to pour you another cup?”
He smiled again and settled back into his chair. “I think like you, Ruth, I have had enough for now.”
I was beginning to feel awkward again as I still wasn’t sure in which direction our conversation was headed, but tried to rationalise my thinking by telling myself I was worrying unnecessarily. After all, I had never spent any real time on my own with Mr. Taylor before so of course it was only natural that I would feel a little ill at ease. I attempted to look composed but became aware of my right leg beginning to tremble involuntarily as if developing a mind of its own. Mr. Taylor lit another cigarette.
“What I would like you to help me with, Ruth, is something of a personal nature, and one that I don’t want either of us to trouble my wife with. As we have agreed already she has more than enough to concern her at this time, especially with the arrival of our new child so imminent.”
“Of course, I fully understand.” I was trying my best to sound helpful but at the same time panicking inside as to what it was I might be about to agree to. I was anxious that whatever it was I wouldn’t fail to please him in my endeavours. I had one other concern that needed to be addressed.
“I am usually given my list of duties by Mrs Taylor. Are you saying that is to change now and that I will be responsible to you over the next few weeks?”
He smiled reassuringly. “Not at all, Helen will still be your first port of call as far as Elizabeth and your other household duties are concerned.” He drew again on his cigarette. “I am hoping, as I said that you might be able to help me personally in one particular area, and that we might keep that to ourselves.”
I felt a bead of perspiration run down my back as I shifted nervously in my seat, wondering what it was he was about to propose, aware I had already agreed to undertake this additional duty no matter what the cost to me personally. I swallowed hard, sensing my throat becoming dry even though I had just finished my tea.
“Of course, I understand and am happy to assist in any way you see fit, especially if it is going to benefit Mrs Taylor in some way.” I watched as he put out his cigarette, his hand shaking slightly again. He looked at me for a moment, then placing his hands on his knees he leant forward again.
“I need you to promise me, Ruth, that this will go no further than the two of us, I want to be very clear about that.” I felt another trickle of perspiration run down my back as a sudden sense of foreboding overtook me.
“I’m not sure what it is you want me to say sir. I have already agreed to help you and Mrs Taylor in any way I can. I am happy to retain a confidence between the two of us regarding whatever it is you would like me to do if you feel that to be appropriate. Although I should add that I have always been encouraged by Mrs Taylor to be open and honest in our relationship and so keeping a secret of any sort from her is not something I would agree to lightly.”
Mr Taylor sat back in his chair, his voice changing and becoming more authoritative.
“I understand your loyalty, Ruth, and I respect you for that. Traditionally I would never ask you to betray that trust. However, I would also remind you that it is me who pays your salary each month and so on this occasion I am requesting that you do maintain this confidence and keep it between just the two of us, that’s not unreasonable is it?”
I felt trapped and increasingly nervous. He was my employer after all and did indeed pay my wages, but what on earth could it be that demanded such a degree of secrecy between us? I knew that ultimately I had no choice but to agree his terms, but was still surprised by the sudden change in his tone.
“I didn’t mean to be disrespectful, sir, please forgive me if I appeared to give that impression.” I hesitated for a moment as we looked at each other. “I will do whatever you ask.” I forced a smile. “What is it you have in mind?”
He rose from his chair and moved to sit opposite me again on the edge of his desk. I watched as he sat staring at the floor for a moment as if considering how best to continue. It felt as though he was deciding whether he really could trust me to keep the promise of confidence between us I had just agreed to, especially in light of my remarks about the depth of relationship and trust held between Mrs Taylor and myself. After what seemed like an age he looked up, wiping his hands nervously down his trouser leg as he did so.
“You are a very attractive young woman, Ruth, are you aware of that?”
I was shocked and more than a little confused. I didn’t know what to say but mumbled something about being grateful for the compliment, even though it wasn’t a comment I was used to receiving from my employer. I was feeling increasingly uncomfortable as a very real sense of panic began to overtake me.
“Perhaps I should come back at another time, maybe when Mrs Taylor is here and we can continue our conversation then?” I began to get to my feet when his demeanour changed once more, becoming even more assertive. He stood up and took a step towards me.
“That is exactly what we are not going to do, Ruth.” He nodded towards my chair. “Please sit down.”
I dropped back into my seat as much from shock as from the order itself. I noticed both his hands were shaking now as he brought them together in front of himself. I felt a shudder run through me as I sat waiting, with increasing anxiety, for whatever it was he was planning to say next.
“I thought we’d already agreed this discussion and its outcome would be between ourselves and that my wife would hear no part of it?” I could feel tears beginning to fill my eyes.
“I’m sorry Mr. Taylor, I hadn’t forgotten but I was embarrassed by your remark about my looks and you made me feel nervous.”
He looked directly at me before sitting in the chair opposite once more. He smiled as if to reassure me and placed the palms of his hands of the arms of the chair.
“I apologise if I was short,” his voice and tone softening. “Listen, my dear, my wife, as we both know, is not entirely herself at the moment and there are certain duties that she is unable to perform that I might traditionally and reasonably expect from her, do you understand?” Although unsure of exactly what it was he was alluding to the very fact he was sharing such personal information only served to unnerve me further. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable in the extreme.
“Mr Taylor I am not sure I really understand what it is you are asking of me but I do know I am not comfortable in you talking with me in this way.” I rose to my feet and felt a tear run down my cheek. “I think we should end this conversation now, and you should allow me to go back to my work.” He also stood up and, taking a step towards me, grabbed my arm as I turned to leave.
“I think you do understand what I am suggesting my dear, I think you understand only too well,” his mood becoming darker as his grip tightened on my arm. “And I would suggest that you consider my request very carefully before demanding to leave, unless of course you are asking to leave my employ as well?”
I gasped in almost total disbelief, a real sense of indignation and anger growing inside of me as the full implication of what he was proposing took hold, also as to his threat to my continued employment if I didn’t agree to his request. I wrenched my arm from his grasp.
“Are you seriously suggesting I should take the place of Mrs Taylor in your marital bed?” I felt my body tremble as I blurted out the words with both fear and rage burning inside me.
He took a step back, his voice moderating in tone as he attempted to assuage my obvious revulsion at his suggestion.
“That is exactly what I am proposing, Ruth. After all we have already agreed between us how tired Helen is of late and so is therefore unable to carry out a number of the usual duties that might be expected of her as my wife. Of course, as her husband I would be quite within my rights to demand these physical services but, in an effort to ease the burden on her, I am choosing not to.”
I could see he was grinning at me although his full facial expression appeared slightly out of focus with the tears in my eyes blurring my vision.
“All I am suggesting, for now at least, is that you help Helen in this particular area by removing one less responsibility from her shoulders. Remember, you have already professed a desire to assist in whatever way you can, and so in a way I am not asking anything of you that you have not already shown an appetite for.”
I stuttered in disbelief. “I am prepared to do whatever I can to help you as a family of course, but I never thought for one moment you might suggest something like this.”
I took a deep breath, determining to reject his suggestion even if it cost me my job.
“As for considering my future here if I don’t agree to what you are proposing then I am afraid my mind is already made up on that front. I shall prepare my month’s notice in writing and hand it to you within the hour.”
He looked at me for a moment as if considering his next line of attack.
“I should think very carefully about what you’ve just said if I were you, Ruth. Positions such as the one you enjoy here are not easy to come by, especially without a reference.”
I understood immediately what he was threatening but my anger and disgust at his proposal took precedent over any consideration for reflection or common sense on my part.
“I’m sorry it has come to this, Mr Taylor, but I can assure you I have been threatened by much worse than losing my job over the past few years, and I think once I explain my reasons for leaving directly to Mrs Taylor I am sure she will more than understand.” Almost before I had finished speaking his mood darkened further. He strode towards me, leaning forward and placing his face directly in front of my own.
“I am afraid that is something that will not happen.” He hissed at me like a snake about to move in for the kill. “You will not speak to my wife about this conversation under any circumstances, is that clear?”
He remained threateningly close to me as he continued to spit out his venom. “Let me explain exactly why you won’t be talking to Helen. Firstly, can you envisage for one moment the impact such a revelation would have on her personally?” He paused as if to allow me time to appreciate the full implications of my threatening to make such a claim. “And of course, there is the potential effect such an accusation might have on our, as yet, unborn child, let alone the damage it would do to dear Elizabeth. Are you honestly prepared to be responsible for such an outcome?”
I could feel my anger turning to something much darker as I began to despise this man standing in front of me, a man who until a few minutes ago I had both admired and respected.
“Naturally I would deny everything of course, which would then leave my wife wondering why you would seek to make such a spiteful allegation in the first place.” He was clearly now enjoying his part in our confrontation. I bit back almost without thinking.
“I think Mrs Taylor values my confidence well enough to know I wouldn’t lie to her under any circumstances, and certainly not about something as serious as this.”
I was attempting to gain the moral high ground at least as we traded verbal blows. He smiled again as if anticipating such a response, already having his answer to my protestations prepared in advance.
“She does indeed trust you Ruth, so imagine her feelings of sorrow and despair when I relate to her my sad discovery of a few days ago in your having stolen certain items from our house to sell on for personal gain. Also, once I explain to her that after informing you of this discovery and that I would have to let you go, you then made up this terrible lie to get your own back at me as some form of spiteful revenge.”
I could hardly countenance what I was hearing. “Mrs Taylor would never believe that.”
He smiled again as if to confirm his status as the dominant partner in our discussion.
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��I readily admit she would find such a sad and unpleasant revelation hard to accept. However, when I show the pieces of china taken from the lounge and her favourite pair of diamond earrings removed from her jewellery box I think she will be left with little choice but to believe me rather than you.”
I could feel the tears of frustration and incredulity running down my cheeks.
“But why would I do such a thing?”
“Who knows, my dear, who knows? But of course once I introduce the substantial amount of money recovered from your bedroom as well, perhaps she will begin to ask the same questions herself. Also, as to our ability to continue any longer in demonstrating the same faith and belief we have shown in you to date, not only with the care of our daughter, but more especially as a trusted member of our household staff.”
I stood in shock, silent and rooted to the spot. Then as a degree of clarity and reason descended on me once more I spoke up. “It would still be your word against mine.”
“Indeed it, would Ruth, but then again why would I go to such lengths to make up a tale like that in the first place? What possible reason could there be in my seeking to protect my own unblemished reputation and happy marriage from a young girl to whom we had shown nothing but kindness and charity towards since the day she first entered our home? That is unless of course, it was in reasonable defence against such preposterous suggestions and vile accusations?” He paused again. Then as if to drive home his point and with telling determination in his voice he continued.
“No doubt that would be a question the police would also choose to ask following my having to report the whole sorry affair to them. Then I would have to reveal the rest of the story about my trying to protect Helen from the sorry truth of your having become infatuated with me over recent weeks and proposing we share the same bed. I would of course tell them I had rejected your advances but that sadly, and as an act of malice, you had taken it upon yourself to, not only steal items from our house but to sell them as a way of raising money to run away with following my decision to tell Helen the truth and have you dismissed.”