One More Step

by Colleen Hoover

  All the party-guests are here as well.

  Standing behind me, shouting random things at me while I’m here in my underwear in the freezing cold, with the rock I’m standing on serving as the only thing stopping me from plunging to my death.

  Right now, I wish I were more than tipsy so I can just get this over with. The water is going to be very cold; I just know it. I can’t believe I put myself in this predicament all because of a bet. A challenge. A dare. One I couldn’t back down from.

  I guess the entire baseball team, and I, aren’t entirely to blame for my current predicament.

  The person who deserves all the blame is always the same.

  Kayden Harrison.

  It’s not like he said anything—he actually didn’t talk at all—but the way he stood there all smug, with his arms crossed, said all I needed to hear.

  Kayden’s been pushing my buttons since elementary school. He’s the reason I got sent to the principal’s office when I kicked him for pushing me and making me kill a ladybug.

  I got stuck with him in middle school with only a year’s reprieve, since he’s a year ahead of me. I would say he followed me, but I’m a year below him, so I bet he says it’s the other way around.

  I ended up with him in high school too. Despite the fact that I didn’t go to Bragan High School, where my dad coaches the football team. I chose Bragan Prep instead and found him here. So, long story short, I’m stuck with him for one more year.

  Still, he’s the reason I’m standing here half naked in the freaking cold in the first place.

  I saw his face when the guys dared me to jump.

  I saw the way he shook his head like he knew it was something I’d never do.

  His silence was a gauntlet. He was challenging me. I could tell. I’ve known him my whole life.

  So, it’s his fault I said yes.

  Because my life has been all about proving him wrong.

  Speaking of the devil, I turn to my right and watch as Kayden takes his place a few feet from me. He stands there with a red cup to his lips as he takes a sip of his beer.

  Looking away from him, I clutch my cup and do the same. It tastes stale. Warm. Not at all refreshing or encouraging.

  I can’t believe I’m really contemplating jumping off this rock. I’ve been here numerous times before, usually in the summer, and have always been too afraid to do it. I’ve always been at the bottom, watching the daring people jump off. I’ve seen Kayden do it numerous times. I was too scared to try.

  Yet here I am in the middle of the night with an audience daring me to jump.

  I should back down, but I’m hardheaded and will do anything in my power to show I’m right and he’s wrong. Because Kayden is always wrong.

  “Alright Ari, you can stop now,” he says, and all the shouting voices instantly stop. That’s Kayden for you. He only needs to say a word for people to quiet down and listen up.

  I roll my eyes. “You think I can’t do it,” I tell him, my words a little slurred. Maybe I’m a bit tipsier than I thought.

  “You need to back away and put your clothes on,” he orders, like he has any authority over me.

  My hate for Kayden runs so deep that even though putting my clothes on and leaving is exactly what I want to do, when he tells me to do it I instantly don’t want to anymore.

  “You don’t tell me what to do!” I fire back.

  “Just jump,” someone shouts, breaking through the silence.

  “Shut it,” Kayden barks back and when I turn to look at him, I find his eyes focused on me. He’s not smiling, there’s no smugness. Instead, there’s almost, like, a dark cloud looming over him. Is he pissed? Why would he be mad right now? “Put your clothes on and go home, Ari,” he adds.

  My eyes shift from him to the darkness in front of me. Defiantly, I take a step forward.

  “Ari,” he warns, but I don’t acknowledge him.

  Despite how much my fear tells me to back down, I can’t. I take yet another step forward. “I’m not scared,” I turn to him and say, but I think it’s more me trying to convince myself.

  “You should be,” he replies. “You’re drunk, standing naked on top of a rock, ready to plunge into freezing water.”

  “I’m not naked and you guys do it all the time, what’s the big deal?” I ask. If they can do it, why can’t I?

  “We do it during the day and in the summer. This is not that. Stop acting up, back up.” I swear he almost sounds like he cares about me and my wellbeing. But I know he doesn’t. Kayden only cares about himself. Always has. Well, he cares about making my life a living hell, too.

  “A little cold water never killed anybody,” I say, stepping forward again. Either my steps are really small, or the edge of this rock is really far.

  “Stop,” he says, and I bring my attention to him once more. He starts walking toward me. The closer he gets the less I feel I can breathe. Something about him always makes me feel like there’s not enough air around me. Like I’m suffocating. Like he sucks it all up.

  “Leave me alone,” I tell him, waving him off.

  “I’m trying to,” he says, inches from me, and that’s when I realize he’s been taking steps too, except his are in my direction.

  “Clearly not,” I tell him, pointing at his proximity.

  The silence would make anyone think that there’re only two people out here. Him and me. No one dares to say anything else. We’ve become the show they’re all too interested in watching.

  Kayden’s always the center of attention.

  “Ari Cole, you’re being stupid. This is dangerous. Stop,” he tells me as he finally reaches me. He bends over and picks up my shirt and pants from the floor. “Here, let’s go. I’ll take you home. You’re drunk and about to do something really stupid.”

  Stupid. That’s what he thinks of me. “I’m not drunk.”

  “Yes, you are,” he replies.

  I look up at him in challenge. “How would you know?” I ask.

  “I know you,” he replies, his words uttered low enough that only I can hear.

  “No you don’t,” I shout back.

  “Yes I do. That’s why I know you’ll regret doing this in the morning if you do.”

  Kayden doesn’t know me. “That’s not true,” I reply, facing away from him and toward the water again.

  “Stop this,” he yells.

  “No.”

  “Why are you acting like a child?” He shouts, exasperated.

  “Why are you acting like a parent?” I fire back.

  “Because you clearly need one. I thought you were smart.”

  I look back at him. “I am.”

  “This is dumb.”

  “You’re dumb,” I reply then turn away again, mostly because I want to smack myself for my weak comeback. That’s something elementary-school me would’ve replied with. High-school me should have better insults.

  He places his hand on my shoulder and spins me around to face him once again. “Let’s go.”

  “Leave me alone,” I reply, using my arms to push him back. Except, Kayden is an athlete. His body is covered in muscles. And so my push has no effect on him. It only affects me.

  Somehow, the edge that felt so far away is a lot closer than I expected. “Ari!” I hear him shout, just as I lose my footing and stumble back. Too far back. With nothing to stop me from falling.

  KAYDEN HARRISON

  Dammit.

  Why is she fighting me? Well, I guess she always fights me. She’s been arguing with me since the first time I met her. Partly my fault. I didn’t know how else to get her attention that day, ten years ago. so I pushed her. That was wrong of me. And yet, I didn’t learn.

  I picked on her after that.

  Never truly in a mean way.

  Mostly dares. Challenges. Words that weren’t meant to hurt her but rile her up. For some reason, I liked it when she got mad at me. I enjoyed that she didn’t act like everyone else did. She repulsed at the thought of being around me,
which just made me want to be around her even more.

  I think she’s hated me since the day I unintentionally made her kill her precious little ladybug. I think I’ve loved her since the moment she kicked me in the shin in response.

  “Let’s go,” I tell her, spinning her around to face me, hoping the serious look in my eyes shakes some sense into her. Jumping off this rock is ridiculously dangerous, especially in the nighttime while drunk and the water is freezing. No sane person would do this.

  “Leave me alone!” she replies. I watch intently as she places her hands on my chest and before I know it, she’s pushing me away.

  I get lost briefly in the way her hands feel on my chest, even through my shirt, but I’m broken out of that when I see her stumbling back, going farther and farther than she expected.

  I see it in her eyes the moment she realizes what’s going to happen next. “Ari,” I shout and try to get a hold of her, but it’s too late.

  She falls off the rock and before anyone can even react, I’m jumping in after her.

  ARI COLE

  You know that feeling you get when you’re on a rollercoaster? The adrenaline you feel as you climb to the top? The scream you let out the moment you find yourself descending… well that’s nothing at all like what it feels like when you’re falling to your eventual death.

  I don’t scream. I feel every second like a movie on slow motion.

  Knives. Being stabbed on the back. That’s what it feels like the moment my body hits the water. It’s so deep that I never touch the ground.

  Cold is not the right word.

  Even freezing wouldn’t describe how it feels to be in this water right now.

  I’ve never felt this before.

  Panicking, I inhale gulps of water and feel like I’m going to drown. Eventually, my body comes back up to the top and I begin coughing.

  Water is coming out of my nose and I still I can’t breathe. That causes me to panic even more.

  I scream the moment I feel something touch my back.

  “Calm down, it’s just me,” Kayden’s voice says. Wait, Kayden?

  I turn around instantly and right before I can ask what he’s doing here, the cough returns.

  “You’re okay, just breathe,” Kayden says, and I can’t help but feel weird at the thought of him caring for me.

  I manage to get my breathing in order. “What are you doing?” I ask when I feel like I won’t cough again.

  “What do you mean, what am I doing here?” he replies, the moon shining enough light for me to see his wet locks.

  “Were you jealous I jumped and had to jump too?” I ask, trying to pretend my jumping was totally intentional.

  “Are you kidding me right now?” he asks, his tone harsh.

  I look at him confused. “Of course not. Why’d you jump?” I ask, continuing to tread water.

  “Let’s get out of this water,” he says, his tone resigned as he starts swimming away.

  I follow behind him. He looks back every so often to make sure I’m following, and I fight the urge to roll my eyes. Why did he jump after me? Could it be that he actually cares about my safety? I shake those thoughts out of my head; it’s Kayden we’re talking about here.

  After what feels like an eternity later, I watch Kayden pull himself out of the water. Unlike me, he’s fully clothed and the realization that I’m only wearing my underwear makes me feel embarrassed.

  Maybe the fall took away my buzz because, at this moment, I’m having sober thoughts. Before I start overthinking, I see Kayden’s hand extended toward me. I think about smacking it away, but then the wind picks up again and I honestly can’t be bothered to fight him right now. I need to get the hell out of this water.

  Taking his hand, I immediately notice how small mine feels in his. I’ve never held his hand before, never really held hands with anyone.

  He pulls me out of the water like I’m weightless and then we both just stand there, with the moon as our light, staring at each other in silence for far too long.

  “I’m going to head back up to grab my clothes,” I tell him, suddenly feeling a weird energy in the air.

  “About that,” he says, his hand coming to the hem of his shirt as he lifts it over his body. This is not helping the weird energy right now, but I can’t help letting my eyes roam every bit of skin he reveals as he takes it off. My eyes run the length of his upper body, not missing the six pack. As I take him in, my eyes land on his mouth and I find him smiling. I immediately look back down again, feeling embarrassed that I’d let my mind wander.

  I clear my throat. “About what?” I ask, bringing my eyes to his when I feel my thoughts are no longer painted on my face.

  He squeezes the water out of his shirt then flings it over his shoulder. “Remember how I picked up your clothes from the ground and tried to hand them to you?”

  “Yes…”

  “And how you tried to push me but ended up pushing yourself off the rock?” he adds.

  I nod slowly, wondering where he’s going with this.

  “I had your clothes in my hand then too… and I may have jumped after you with them still in my hands. I may have also lost them while I tried to find you.”

  “So, you’re saying my clothes are somewhere in this lake?” I ask, looking back at the water like I’ll see my pants and shirt floating over it.

  He nods. “Sorry,” he says with a smile.

  Of course he would make my clothes disappear! Any opportunity he has to tease me or play a prank, he’ll take. That’s the Kayden way. “Are you though? Because the smile on your face doesn’t tell me so,” I reply, crossing my arms in front of myself.

  “I don’t know why you’re mad at me.”

  “Well, maybe because you couldn’t help but jump into the water with my clothes in your hand and now, I’m cold and have no clothes!” I yell back.

  “Wait, are you finally admitting you’re naked?”

  “That’s not the point!”

  “You act like I wanted to jump off. I could think of a million better things to do during the

  break.”

  “Then, why did you!?” I ask again.

  “I don’t know, Ari. Maybe because I wanted to make sure you survived. That you could

  swim. That you didn’t die the moment you unintentionally plunged into ice-cold water. Forgive me for trying to be a decent person and not like the assholes at the top of the rock who haven’t even looked down to see if you’re okay!”

  I look up at the place we just jumped from but don’t see anyone there. When he puts it that way…I can’t help but believe him a little.

  “Thank you,” I mumble the words because I can’t even believe I’m saying them in the first place.

  “What?” he asks, his hand coming to his ear as he pretends he didn’t hear me.

  “I’m not saying it again,” I tell him.

  “It’s okay, I heard it. I’ll remember this moment forever,” he replies with an even wider smile.

  I shake my head. Then the wind assaults us again and I shiver. “Alright, well, I’m cold, so how do we get back?”

  “I actually parked my car down here, so we can just go straight to it.”

  “Why’d you park your car down here if you knew we were all going to be up there?”

  He taps his temple with his index finger. “Because I think ahead. Follow me,” he says, taking my hand and leading me toward the parking lot. Now we’ve held hands two times in one day.

  We reach his car a few minutes later, both drenched in water. “Do you mind giving me a ride home?” I ask.

  “Oh, so now you want to go home? Not when I told you to earlier?” he asks, opening the driver side door.

  I nod. “You should know when you demand I do things it makes me want to do the opposite.”

  “Duly noted.”

  “So, since you offered earlier, I assume you’re cool with giving me a ride home now?”

  “Hell no,” he replies, and the moment of
sweetness I thought I saw from him is instantly ruined.

  “Well, thanks,” I reply, turning around and getting ready to make the trek up the hill to my friends… or the people I came to this party with. I don’t know that I should call them friends anymore as they didn’t even check to see if I was still alive.

  “Where are you going?” he asks.

  I turn to face him. “Well, I gotta get home somehow and you refuse to drive me there.”

  “Your mom is an elementary school principal. Your dad is the football coach at Bragan High. I think both of them would kill me if I dropped their naked daughter off at their doorstep.”

  I laugh at the fear in his eyes. My dad would kill him though, he’s right.

  “You may be right. So what do I do?” I ask, standing there.

  “You can stay with me.”

  “Err…um,” I struggle to put words together. Mostly because a proposal to spend the night at his house is something I never expected from him.

  “Just tell your parents you’re staying at a friend’s house or something. We can figure out your clothes in the morning.”

  I shiver when a gust of wind whips across my exposed body. I don’t get why spring break is in March when it’s still freaking cold out.

  “Get in the car, we can make a plan there while it’s warm,” he tells me and for once I don’t fight him on it. I round the corner to the passenger side and hop in.

  “Sorry your seat will be wet,” I tell him. It’s the least I can do.

  “It’s just water. A little water never killed anybody,” he jokes, using my earlier words.

  I smile. “So, I just stay the night at your place and we worry about clothes tomorrow?” I ask.

  He nods. “Then I can drop you off at whatever friend’s house you lied about staying at.”

  “I could also just sleep at my friend’s house instead of lying,” I tell him.

  “I’m sure your friends aren’t going to want to leave the party early. They’re probably drunk out of their minds right now too, that’s the only reason a real friend wouldn’t check in to make sure you were okay.”