Wildest Dreams

by Rosanne Bittner

  "Luke, don't kill him here! Let him hang!" Tex tried to reason.

  "They raped her," Luke growled. "They raped my Katie!"

  Tex grasped Luke's powerful wrists, knowing full well that if not for Luke's own injury, he would never have managed to pull him off of Walker. By then Tyler reached them, disobeying Tex's order to stay put.

  "Pa, you need help!" he urged. "The man is hurt bad. He isn't going anyplace."

  Tex fell back with his arms still around Luke from behind, still holding his wrists. "Damn it, Luke, you know there ain't nobody who finds killin' a man easier than me," he said. "But you're always preachin' about law and order in this goddamn territory. You promised Sheriff Tracy there wouldn't be no revenge killin'. You said we'd bring in the survivors for a proper hangin'."

  "He's got to die, and I've got to do it!" Luke fumed, lurching backward and pulling out of Tex's grip. He headed for Walker again, but Tyler stepped in front of him, pushing his rifle against his father crosswise.

  "Pa, Tex is right! Think about it! A public hanging will get written about all over. After that men like Zack Walker will think twice about coming to Montana and making trouble! We can show everybody we've got laws here now."

  Luke calmed down some, and Tex took hold of his arm. "Luke, do this one the right way. We all helped lynch the Walker boys, but some think that's no better than what outlaws do. You're always talkin' about bringin' good people to this territory. A proper trial and hangin' will show folks we've got things under control here, that we take care of these things the proper way. And after what these men did, everybody deserves the pleasure of watchin' them hang!"

  Luke breathed deeply to stay in control, but his eyes brimmed with tears. "I won't have Katie sitting through any public trial and having to tell people what happened to her!"

  "Then you can make sure no public gets in," Tex answered. "You've got the pull to do this however you want. Only the jury needs to hear Katie's story. Then let everybody in Billings and for miles around watch these bastards hang!"

  "Oh, God, I'm hurt bad!" Walker groaned. "Everything's broke!"

  Luke looked down at the man, then walked over and kicked him in the ribs. The man screamed out in agony. "Go ahead and hurt, you stinking piece of filth! You're going to hurt a lot worse when I'm through with you! You're going back to Billings over the back of a horse, and you're going to feel the pain of every broken bone all the way back! If you're lucky, you'll die on the way!"

  Runner rode closer then, herding two men ahead of him, his six-gun leveled at them. "I think we got them all, Luke," he spoke up.

  "I got a couple myself," Tyler told Runner. He looked down at Zack Walker. "I shot this one's horse from under him. I just wish I would have got him instead of the horse."

  "You did good today, Ty," Tex told him. "After today I won't call you boy anymore."

  Ty wanted to feel good about the remark, but he was too sick over what had happened to his sister. If it wasn't for Katie, he would have celebrated being allowed to come after outlaws with men like Tex and Runner... and Luke Fontaine. "Pa, you'd better let Runner look at your shoulder. Your shirt's all soaked with blood."

  Luke looked down at himself, only just beginning to realize how badly he'd been hurt. He looked up at the men Runner had brought in. One of them was Walker's nephew, Jim. Luke remembered Zack Walker telling him Jim was one of those who had raped Katie. "You're going to feel a hot rope around your neck in a few days, boy!" he spit out. "You'll regret what you did to my Katie! You and any of the rest who are still alive!" He grimaced and grasped his right arm then as the pain in his arm and shoulder grew more intense. "Tie them up, Runner, then I think you're going to have to throw some whiskey on this wound and wrap it up." He looked at Ty. "You okay, son?"

  "Sure, Pa, I'm fine."

  Luke nodded, and their eyes held in understanding. Tyler knew Luke was proud of the good job he'd done, but that this was not time to celebrate anything. "Help Tex round up the bodies," Luke told the boy. "We'll send men back to bury the dead, and we'll take the wounded back to Billings for a trial and hanging." He looked over at Runner, who was already tying Jim Walker's wrists behind him and bringing the rope under the man's horse to truss his ankles together under the horse's belly. "I'll be over by Lettie and Katie." He hated the thought of having to face his wife and daughter, hated this feeling that he was partly responsible for all of this. He sighed with grief. "Pick up the money," he said dejectedly to Tex. "I'd gladly give up every last dime of it if it would mean they had never touched Katie." His voice nearly broke on the words, and he closed his eyes for a moment. "Maybe it isn't right to kill them right here," he added, "but by God when the day comes that they get hanged, I'd like to be the one to pull the lever!" He left them then, and Tyler watched after his father, struggling against his own urge to cry.

  "I can't go, Mama. I can't even face Pa or my brothers or Tex and the other men, my own family and friends. How am I going to tell all those ugly things to strangers?"

  Lettie walked to the window where Katie sat in her room bundled in a flannel gown and robe in spite of the heat. It was only her second day home, and already she had bathed six times. Lettie well knew the feeling of wanting to wash away the filth, hoping the memories would be washed away with it; but that was impossible. She touched her daughter's lustrous dark hair; this young girl who had been cruelly introduced to sex in the worst way. In so many ways she had still been such a child, but now the child in her was gone.

  "You will go and tell your story, Katie, because you are a Fontaine, and you're strong and proud. You did absolutely nothing wrong and have nothing to be ashamed of, and there isn't one person in this family, or on this ranch, or in all of Montana who would think less of you. You will go because the right thing to do is to get those men hanged, because it will show any other outlaws who think about coming here what happens to men who steal and kill and rape. You'll do it to help bring law and order to Montana, and because if you don't get them hanged, your father will find a way to kill those men himself, and then he might be the one to go to prison."

  Katie closed her eyes, and more tears spilled down her cheeks. Her stomach ached so badly that she felt constantly nauseated and could not eat. Everything hurt, and she couldn't sleep because of the haunting, ugly attacks that kept revisiting her every time she lay back on her bed. "All those people—"

  "Katie, Sheriff Tracy said he would talk to the federal judge when he gets into town, and he is sure the man will allow only the jury in the room with you, if that's the way you want it. The men on trial don't even have to be there. You don't ever have to look at them again."

  "But you don't know," Katie sobbed. "You don't know how it feels."

  Lettie closed her own eyes and took a deep breath for courage. There was only one way to help her daughter, and that was to face her own experience, something she had buried deep in her soul long ago. Oh, how it hurt to dredge it up again! "I do know, Katie. I know better than you think."

  Katie sniffed and turned to look up at her mother. "What do you mean?"

  Lettie felt her heart beating faster. What would her daughter think of her if she knew the truth? She pulled a chair over near the girl and sat down across from her, reaching out and taking her hands. "Katie, the same thing happened to me. I was a couple of years older than you, but I had also never been with a man before. I had the same cruel awakening that you have had, but I would suffer it all over again if I could just take it away from you. I wish those men had taken me instead."

  Katie's eyes widened in shock. "Mama! You were... raped?"

  Lettie held her gaze. She had been preaching to Katie about not feeling shame; how could she turn around and show any of her own? "It was back when we lived in Missouri, and there was a lot of raiding just before the Civil War. Our place got raided by Southern sympathizers because we were for the Union. I ran out to the barn to try to save my favorite horse from being stolen, and that's when I was attacked."

  Katie
looked her over as though she were someone she didn't even know. "Why didn't you ever tell us? Does Pa know?"

  Lettie nodded, love beginning to shine in her eyes. "He was the one who helped me see it wasn't my fault and that I shouldn't feel ashamed. Luke made me see I had every right to go on with my life, to love and be loved. He taught me the gentle side of man, and it was through your father that I learned that being in love and making love can be a beautiful thing, Katie. It can and will happen for you. What those men did... it isn't like that when you truly love a man. Someday you will learn to give yourself out of true joy and desire; but I still remember how I felt back then. I know exactly how you are thinking and feeling right now. It was almost worse for me because... because I was left in a family way."

  Katie drew in her breath, and her eyes teared anew. "Oh, Mama, will that happen to me?"

  Lettie squeezed her hands reassuringly. "No. I remembered that the day before the dance you had just finished your time of month. It's very unlikely." She sighed deeply. "Oh, Katie, I had intended to talk to you about men and marriage and such, but I never expected to have to do it so soon. We'll wait and talk more about the magic between a man and a woman when you're more ready to listen. I didn't tell you about what happened to me to frighten you. I just thought... as long as I felt compelled to tell you what happened to me, you should know that Nathan was the result."

  Katie's mouth dropped open, and Lettie thought that in spite of the difficulty of having to tell the girl all these things, maybe the shocking news would help get her mind off of her own problems, at least for a time. "You mean... you were never married to Nathan's father? You weren't really widowed from the war?"

  Lettie's eyes teared. "Katie, there was a baby inside of me, a human life, and it was not my place to judge why God blessed me with that life. I learned to look at my baby that way—as a blessing, a gift with some purpose. That purpose might have been nothing more than to show that something precious and beautiful can come from something terrible. I only know that when Nathan was born, and that little baby clung to me and looked to me for love and survival, I couldn't help but love him in return. I think that's partly why I took his disappearance so hard, Katie. I suffer from the guilt of thinking maybe I should be punished for the times I hated that baby inside of me and wished it would be born dead." She saw the disbelief in her daughter's eyes. "Yes, Katie, I couldn't help feeling that way at first. But as I told you, I grew to love my little boy, and when he was taken from me, I felt such a terrible sorrow for the times when I hadn't wanted him because of how he was conceived. I came to realize it wasn't that baby's fault. He was just a little human life that needed his mother."

  She let go of Katie's hands and stood up, walking over to look out the window at Luke and Tex, who were in a corral trying to break and train a stubborn but beautiful stallion. Since taking Zack Walker and the other four surviving men to town to sit in jail and wait for the traveling judge, Luke had kept himself busy again, trying to channel his anger, refusing to get any bed rest because of his wound. Instead, he kept his arm in a sling and worked, from dawn until after dark. Lettie knew he was in physical pain, but his emotional pain was much greater.

  "This has to be our secret, Katie. I don't know if or when I will tell the rest of the children. I might never tell them. I wouldn't have told you if not for what happened. You need to know that someone else understands, and you need to know that you can go on with your life, just as I did; and that you'll find a good man who will look beyond what happened to you and just love you for who you are... the way Luke did with me. He took us both, loved Nathan as if he were his own. If Nathan came back today and wanted to be a part of this family, Luke would welcome him as eagerly as he would welcome Ty or Robbie. There are evil, ugly men in this world, Katie, but there are a lot of good men, too, like your father. I promise you that time will heal your wounds, and a man will come along who will erase the ugly memories and turn something vicious and painful into a beautiful experience for you."

  Katie rose. "I'm sorry, Mama, for what happened to you. It must have been hard for you to tell me, but I'm glad you did." She put out her arms, and Lettie walked over and embraced her tightly.

  "Please dress and come to the supper table tonight, Katie. It would make Luke so happy to see you trying to rise above this." She kissed the girl's hair. "Don't you see, Katie? If you let this destroy you, if you allow yourself to be ashamed and go around looking like a fallen woman, then even if they are hanged, those horrible men will have won. They will have defeated not just you, but your father, also. They will have achieved what they set out to do—to hurt him in the worst way. If you go talk to the judge and the jury, hold your head proudly and tell the truth and refuse to be ashamed, you'll be proving what the Fontaines are made of. We can't let people like the Walkers defeat us, Katie, just as your father taught me not to let my rapist destroy me; and as he has refused to let other men defeat him in any way while building all that we have here."

  Katie sniffed and hugged her mother tighter. "You and Pa are happy now, aren't you? I mean, you're over the bad time you had when Paul died?"

  Lettie stroked her hair. "Yes, my darling, we're all right now. I think our love is stronger than ever."

  Katie pulled away, wiping at her eyes. "I'll go down to supper tonight. Will you help me pick out something to wear, and fix my hair?"

  Lettie smiled through tears. "Of course I will."

  Katie left her and walked to the window herself, watching her father work the stallion. "Pa risked his life for me, shielded me with his own body. I felt the punch when that bullet hit him, and I remember his groans when Runner dug the bullet out of his shoulder. I also remember how he looked at me when he first saw me with that horrible man. I know how much Pa wants to see those men die, and I do, too." She turned and faced her mother. "I'll go tell my story to the judge and the jury, as long as I only have to look at those men long enough to identify them to the jury."

  Lettie nodded. "Luke will be proud. We'll all be with you, Katie, every step of the way." She walked closer and grasped the girl's arms. "Remember, what I told you is our secret."

  Katie studied her mother's gentle green eyes, seeing the woman in a whole new light, understanding her own suffering. "I won't tell." She blinked back tears. "I'm glad you found somebody like Pa."

  Lettie smiled, looking out the window along with Katie, noticing Luke was standing outside the corral then talking to Robbie. She knew how miserable Robbie had been over what happened to Katie, blaming himself for not watching out for her, sure his father hated him and would never forgive him. Her heart swelled with love then when she saw Luke embrace the boy. Oh, how Robbie needed that. "I'm glad, too," she told Katie. "Your father and I have had our differences, but nothing could ever get in the way of how much I love him."

  "When will the judge get to Billings?" Katie asked.

  Lettie watched Luke and Robbie walk toward the house, arm in arm. "Sheriff Tracy says he should be here by Saturday." Oh, how she hated the thought of what poor Katie would have to go through, but it had to be done. There would be law and order in Montana, and men like Luke would make sure of it. Talk about a hanging was already rampant, and word was, people were already filtering into Billings from all over Montana and even from Wyoming to see the event. How sad that all that excitement had to be from her daughter's personal horror. God be with us all, she prayed.

  CHAPTER 25

  Lettie could see Tyler and Robbie in the street below. They had been permitted to join the crowds that swarmed into Billings for the hanging, but were ordered to stay together. Because of the delicate reason for the hanging that would take place today, Katie had chosen to stay away from the staring eyes of others and watch the hanging from a room Luke had taken on the second floor of the Billings Inn.

  Lettie thought how almost none of the people milling about outside were originally from Montana. Nearly all were from other parts of the country and from all walks of life, some with past live
s no one else would ever know about, come to Montana for a hundred different reasons. The Stowes, the middle-aged couple who had bought Will and Henny's place, had lost a son in the Civil War. They had owned and managed a hotel back in Ohio, then lost it all to a fire. They had moved west with their daughter to try farming, and when that failed, they had come to Montana because they had heard it was growing fast and figured they would get back into the business they knew best. Nial Bentley was from England, now married to Sydney Greene's daughter, the Greene family from Pennsylvania. The tailor,

  Gino Galardo, was born in New York, and his parents had come to America from Italy. Reverend Gooding was from Illinois; Herbert Grass, the reporter for the Billings Extra, was from Wyoming and from places back east before that. Bill and Betty Richards were from Illinois.

  The Double L was itself like a little village in its own right, with whole families living there now. Gone was the terrible loneliness of winter, but such a price they and others had paid for settling this untamed land. James Woodward was dead, and Matt Duncan. Little Paul was gone, and Nathan was out there... somewhere. Maybe he was dead, too. Will was gone, Henny dead, simply from a hard life. Now living here had cost poor Katie dearly.

  The atmosphere outside was like a circus, people having come in from miles around. The boardinghouse and the hotel were packed to overflowing. Luke was indeed right that Billings needed another hotel, but what a hideous way to find out more room was needed. Some citizens had even rented out storage rooms, or rooms in their own homes, deciding to make a fast dollar off the hanging. Those who could not get rooms had set up wagons and tents outside of town, and vendors in the street were making money selling everything from food and drinks to little signs that read, I Saw the Hanging in Billings, Montana Territory, May 25, 1878. Programs had been printed up and handed out, giving the names of those to be hanged: Ben Walker, Jim Walker, and their uncle, Zack Walker. Because the kidnapping and blackmail scheme was Zack Walker's idea, and because he did nothing to keep his nephews from raping Katie, he was sentenced to be hanged right along with the two young Walkers. Two other men who had been brought in, a Terry Brubaker and Matt Peters, did not take part in the rape. They were given five-year prison sentences and had been sent to Montana's territorial prison at Deer Lodge, nearly two hundred miles to the west. A U.S. Marshal had already come to take them away, although the prison was not even finished yet. Only the north wing was completed, and they heard it was already filling fast with horse thieves and murderers, as Montana continued to struggle to bring law and order to its citizens, who had demanded an end to vigilante justice in their territory.