Wildest Dreams

by Rosanne Bittner

  Lettie's heart sank at the words. How much worse would it be for Nathan and Ty both if they knew the truth about Nathan's father? What had happened to cause this?

  Luke stepped up and grabbed Tyler by the shirtfront. "What the hell is going on here? Just last night—"

  "She's gone, Pa! Ramona is gone! She's out there alone somewhere, and it's his fault! He must have said something to scare her away from me!" Tyler's eyes were wet, his face red with rage, the veins in his throat taut from straining and screaming.

  "Calm down, or I'll hit you myself!" Luke ordered Tyler. He looked at the men holding him. "Let go of him."

  "Whatever you say, Boss." They released Tyler, and he stood there panting, glaring at his father. "Get rid of him, Pa. Get rid of him, or I'll kill him!"

  Luke jerked on his shirt. "You'll do no such thing! I won't have this happening in my family!"

  "Then he shouldn't have made Ramona run away!"

  Luke let go of him, but kept a close eye on him. "The rest of you men get the hell out of here and get to work!"

  The others wandered away, mumbling among themselves and shaking their heads. Luke realized some of them had no idea what was going on between Ty and Ramona, and he also knew what the opinions of some would be. He could not concern himself with that now. He turned to Nathan. "What the hell happened?"

  A deep hurt showed in Nathan's eyes. "Ramona ran away. She left a note. I did not know what she was planning. Sometime in the night she must have come out here to get Star and she rode off. The note was left in Star's stall." He looked over at Lettie pleadingly, then back at Luke. "I swear I said nothing to discourage her. Last night I shared wine with you and Tyler. I had given my consent. I would not have gone back on my word."

  "You liar!" Tyler shouted. "You talked her out of it. Somehow you scared her away!"

  "I love her!" Nathan shouted back. "Would I want my own sister riding out there alone and in danger? Why would I do such a thing?"

  "You'd do anything to keep her from marrying me!"

  "Don't be stupid, Ty!" Luke answered. "Nathan wouldn't have wanted her to run off alone. The important thing is to figure out why she did it and for us to go after her."

  Tyler tore a piece of paper from his pants pocket and handed it over, still glaring at Nathan, a tear slipping down his cheek. Luke read the note, written as well as Ramona could write, given her limited education. "'It is best this way,'" Luke read aloud. "'I love you, Tyler Fontaine.'" She had spelled Fontaine wrong, but he ignored it. "'I love you enough to do what is right for you, even though it breaks my heart. You belong here. I do not. Our happiness could not last forever. I am going back to my people where I belong. I will marry Standing Horse.'"

  Ty glanced at his mother. "Did you say something to her? What did you do when you took her upstairs?"

  Lettie felt as though someone had pierced her heart with a knife. "Oh, Ty, how can you think I would ever do anything to hurt someone you love?"

  He looked away, clenching his fists.

  "What did you do?" Nathan asked Lettie.

  Lettie put a hand to her stomach. "Well, I... I was as good to her as I could be. I helped her try on some of Katie's dresses. She was going to go with me to the women's club meeting in a couple of days. We had a good time trying clothes on, fixing her hair."

  Nathan smiled rather bitterly, shaking his head. "You are a good woman, Mother, but I think perhaps it was too much at once—all those fancy clothes, being in that house, seeing how you live."

  "And I'll just bet you pointed all of that out to her when you got her back to your house!" Tyler yelled at Nathan. "My mother would never deliberately discourage her, but you would, you son of a bitch! You knew she'd get just enough of a taste of being a Fontaine to scare her, and you played on those feelings!"

  A terrible sadness showed in Nathan's eyes. "I said nothing to her last night. When she came home she was very quiet. I asked her what was wrong, and she just looked at me and said she did not want to talk about it. She just wanted to go to bed and think and be alone. I even offered to come and get you, but she said that I should not."

  "That was all the more reason to come and get me!"

  "Both of you get mounted up," Luke ordered. "We're going to try to find her. She probably tried to follow the same roads and trails that brought her here. She most likely headed north before she would go east, so that she wouldn't have to ride anyplace near Billings."

  "I can track her," Nathan said. "I know the gait of her horse, and Star has one hoof that looks slightly crooked."

  "Let's go, then." Luke grabbed Tyler's arm to lead him into the barn, but Tyler hesitated, glaring at Nathan.

  "She rode out of here in the night. Do you know how dangerous this country is at night?"

  "Of course I know how dangerous it is! I have lived in the open country most of my life!"

  "If anything has happened to her—"

  "You will blame me!" Nathan said, sneering. "But at the same time, I will blame you, Tyler! None of this would have happened if you could have kept your pants buttoned until your father got home! You had no right making big promises to her! You had no right taking liberties with her!"

  Tyler charged for him again, but Luke grabbed him, holding on for dear life. "Stop it, Ty!" he growled. "Or do you plan to punch your own father! That's what you'll have to do before I'll let you light into your brother again!"

  Tyler relaxed again, jerking away from Luke. "Don't call him my brother." He turned and walked into the barn, and Luke looked at Lettie, seeing the devastation in her eyes. He just shook his head and followed Tyler into the barn. Nathan looked at his mother then.

  "I swear I said nothing to make her do this," he said, agony in his voice. "I did not mean to make so much trouble for you. When we find Ramona, we will leave the Double L."

  Lettie shook her head. "Please don't, Nathan. Don't go away again."

  He hated to see the pain in her eyes. "I might have no choice. If it comes down to choosing between two sons, you know which one Luke would choose, no matter how much he loves me. He loves Tyler the most, and I do not blame him for it. Perhaps we will find Ramona and everything will be all right."

  Tears slowly trickled down her cheeks. "Perhaps," she whispered.

  CHAPTER 36

  November 1886

  It was a dark time for everyone. In the Fontaine cemetery, two new headstones were erected. Runner, sixty, had died that past spring, a blow to Luke, especially with the sorrow that had hung over the household for over a year now. Runner had been buried next to a stone that read, Here Lies Ramona, a Sioux Indian, Born Springtime 1867, Died August 1885. Loved by Tyler Fontaine.

  Lettie looked out a back bedroom window at the graveyard in the distance. A cold rain pelted the glass, like the coldness that had fallen over the Fontaine family. Ramona had been found lying in the road with a broken neck. Star was found later with a fractured leg and had had to be shot. Luke had arranged for both the horse and Ramona to be brought back on a wagon. Star was buried next to Ramona.

  Tyler had sunk into a terrible despair, and even his father couldn't help him. His hatred for Nathan was so great that Nathan had chosen to go and live at the northern line shack so they would hardly ever have to see each other. Lettie and Luke felt as if they had lost both their sons. In May Katie had given birth to another son, Jeffrey Adam, her fourth child, and their own sixth grandchild. Nathan and Leena were expecting the following summer, but the coming of more grandchildren could not erase the sorrow that had filled their hearts since Ramona's untimely death.

  There would be no children for Ty and Ramona. Lettie could not help blaming herself, wondering if she had said or done something that night before Ramona ran away that might have upset her so much. Perhaps she shouldn't have carried on so about how Ramona should dress, or about attending the women's club with her. She had not stopped to think of how terrifying such things might be to someone from such a different world. Ramona had been like a sweet child wh
o needed careful guidance and nurturing.

  Since her death, Tyler had taken a cabin by himself, wanting to be alone. It tore at her heart to think of how he was suffering, and she knew it hurt Luke, too. He and Ty had always been so close, but now Ty seemed to blame Luke for allowing Nathan to come home in the first place, let alone allowing him continue to live anywhere on the Double L. He seemed to have taken the attitude that as long as Nathan was an accepted son, he wanted nothing to do with the family. She and Luke both knew it was just grief that made him turn away from them. Only time could take care of that. Her only consolation was that Pearl had written letters that bubbled with joy. Pearl, her little girl, was also expecting, in May. She had also gotten several letters from Robbie. He was doing well in college. He missed home, but he intended to stay with his studies right through the summers so that he could finish sooner. He was as determined as ever to realize his dream, just as Luke had always been.

  A heavy wind blew the rain harder against the window, and dusk fell into darkness so that she could no longer see the graves in the distance. She heard footsteps behind her then and turned to see Luke.

  "I wondered where you were," he told her. "Mae's husband is out doing chores, and Mae is reading in the kitchen. The house is quiet as a tomb."

  She closed her eyes. "Don't even put it that way." Tears slipped out of her eyes. "Oh, Luke, it is quiet in here. Too quiet. I miss Pearl and Robbie so much, especially now. I wish Nathan and his family were living here, and Ty and—"

  She sniffed. "I wish Katie and Brad and all the grandchildren would move in here. I can't stand this loneliness. It's almost like those first years, only worse, because we've known what it's like to have had all the children little and home, playing and laughing. Now there's just this awful quiet."

  Luke walked closer and pulled her into his arms. "Maybe Brad wouldn't mind if Katie brought the kids and stayed here for a month or so this winter," he suggested. "The men think it's going to be one of the worst winters we've had yet. All the horses are growing extra thick winter coats. That's a sure sign."

  "Yes, I'd like Katie to come and stay, at least through Christmas. I'm afraid Christmas is going to be like last year's, just Katie and the family. Oh, Luke, it isn't right that Tyler won't come, or Nathan. With Pearl and Robbie gone, the rest of us should be together."

  "I'll see if I can get Nathan to come, so we can at least have little Luke and Julie with us." Luke sighed. "Besides, if we're going to have the kind of winter some of the men think we'll have, it won't be safe for Nathan and the kids to stay up there at the line shack. They'll be too isolated. But if they're here, Ty will probably refuse to come again. I'll talk to him." He watched the rain beat against the window. "If only Ramona hadn't gotten it into her head to run off like that, but there is no changing any of it now. Maybe if Ty had been a little older, he could have accepted it a little more easily. At his age, when you lose someone you love you think the world has come to an end, that you'll never love again. He has so many years ahead of him, and Alice Richards asks about Ty every time I see her in town, wonders why he doesn't come to church or any of the dances or social events. Most of the available young men in town are after her, but it seems that Ty is the only one she's interested in. I know she loves him, but he acts as though she doesn't even exist."

  "Alice and Ty have been friends almost since her family first moved here eight years ago." Lettie rubbed the backs of her arms. Outside it rained even harder, and she felt a draft near the window. "Luke, it's almost the first of December.

  Maybe you should send some men to get Nathan tomorrow, and send someone with a note to Katie, asking if she'll come and stay awhile. I'm worried about this weather."

  "Brad will probably want to stay at his ranch, but if the weather gets worse, he'll probably be glad to know Katie and the kids are here. That way he can tend to the sheep without worrying about them."

  "Will you try to talk Tyler into coming to the house for Christmas?"

  He rubbed at his neck. "I'll try. If he wasn't so big I'd beat some sense into him, but I can't do that anymore."

  Lettie smiled sadly. "You've never laid a hand on any of your children, Luke Fontaine, and you never would." She hugged him once more. "I'll never stop praying that this house will be full of love and happiness again, Luke. I'm sorry for what loving me and Nathan has cost you over the years."

  He rubbed her back. "Don't ever say that. Nathan deserves to be loved as much as any child. And you..." He grasped her arms and lightly pushed away, looking into the green eyes that had so tempted him over twenty-three years ago. "Meeting and falling in love with you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I'd give up the Double L for you Lettie, and the mines and everything else. I'd give up every bit of it if it meant keeping you with me. You're my life, my strength. We aren't going to let this keep us from striving to get our family back together. We've all been through too much together, and there is too much love in this family for this estrangement to last, especially between me and Ty. Things will work out. God will find a way. He always has before."

  She arched her eyebrows. "And this from a man who hates sitting in church."

  He grinned sheepishly. "I don't have to sit in church to know how I feel about God or to talk to him. We've had plenty of chats over the years."

  She reached up and touched the shadow of a beard on his cheek. There were still a couple of faint white scars where his beard would not grow. Older. So much older, with a fullness to his brawn that made him seem bigger than ever. He was still a powerful man, but there was no getting around the fact that he was getting older. It wasn't fair that there should be this strain between Ty and him in this time of their lives when they should be the happiest they had ever been.

  She rested her head against his chest, and outside the wind howled, reminding her of those early days. How strange that when times were happy, she hardly noticed the wind anymore; but when sadness filled the household, again it seemed more haunting and lonely than ever.

  "Ty, let me in! I'm freezing!" Tyler opened the door to his little, one-room cabin. He had barely heard the knock above the raging wind. The woman who entered wore a heavy cape and a hood that hid her face so that at first it was difficult to realize who she was.

  "Alice?" He stepped back, and Alice Richards dashed inside. Ty closed the door and turned to watch her remove her hood. She hurried over to the potbellied stove in the corner, rubbing her hands over its heat. She looked around the stark little room, which held only a cot, table, and wash-stand, and a few pots and dishes. Some clothes hung on hooks on the walls.

  "Ty, why on earth do you stay here when you could be living in that beautiful home on the hill?"

  Tyler frowned. "What's it to you?" He wished she wasn't so pretty, with that golden hair and those big, blue eyes. She was a delicate thing, with a warm smile and a sparkle to her eyes, but he did not want to think about her, or the miserable way he had treated her these last couple of years. The memory of Ramona was painful enough.

  Alice shrugged. "I just don't understand, that's all. Father and I have been here for a week already, and you haven't shown your face."

  He shoved his hands into the pockets of his denim pants. He wore a doeskin jacket against the cold that continued to creep into the cabin in spite of the roaring fire in the wood stove. "You know why. Nathan and his family came down for Christmas. As long as he's there, I'm staying here."

  "That's childish," she said quietly. "You're breaking your mother's heart, Ty, your father's, too. One day you'll regret what you're doing to them. I lost my own mother only two weeks ago, and—"

  "And that's the excuse my mother used to invite you and your father for Christmas—because my pa and yours are business friends, and my mother likes you and didn't want you to be alone at Christmas after just losing your mother. Well I know the real reason she invited you here, and it won't work."

  Alice frowned. "What are you talking about?"

  "I'm talking about the
fact that they think that bringing you here will help me get over Ramona and get me to thinking about somebody else."

  Her eyes widened, and her face turned crimson. "You're an arrogant, ignorant fool, Tyler Fontaine, and you're the cruelest person I've ever met!" The last words came out in a quick sob, and she threw her hood back over her head and headed for the door.

  Tyler reached out and grabbed her arm. "Wait!"

  She remained turned away, breaking into tears.

  Ty felt like an ass, hating himself for hurting her again. "I'm sorry, Alice," he said softly, "honest to God I am. All these months I've felt as though I don't even know who I am anymore. I say and do things I don't mean. Part of me wants to lash out and hurt people, and another part of me feels terrible about it. I really am sorry."

  The fresh pain of her mother's death was still with her, and her agony over this young man she loved so much only made the tears come harder. "You have so much, Ty and you're just... throwing it all away! You have brothers and sisters... and a wonderful father and mother. My mother is gone, and I never had any brothers and sisters. Don't wait... until it's too late to appreciate what you have, Ty. I care too much about you to see you hurting." She turned to face him, tears running down her cheeks. "I thought once that... that you cared about me, too. And then after Nathan came home and brought Ramona with him, I hardly ever saw you anymore." She sniffed and pulled away from him. "I'm sorry it happened, Ty, but sometimes God makes things happen because that's just the way it's supposed to be." She took a deep breath. "I don't know why he took my mother away, except that maybe he wanted me to come here for Christmas... to be with you."

  She took a handkerchief from the pocket of her deep brown velvet dress, the hem of which was wet and dirty from walking to the cabin. Outside a wet snow had left the ground a mess, but now the snow was fast becoming a full-force blizzard. He noticed Alice's boots were covered with slush and mud, and he realized how cold she really must be.