Lost Ones

by Rute Canhoto

CHAPTER TWELVE

  During the rest of Philosophy class, Marina tried not to move to avoid attracting unwanted attention from the teacher. Luckily, he didn’t address her one single time. When the bell rang, she hastened to leave the room and waited for Ana in the corridor. She had forgotten to invite her to lunch the day before, so she would ask her now.

  When her friend joined her, Marina tried to apologize. “I'm so sorry. With yesterday’s mess I ended up forgetting to invite you to have lunch at my house. Will you come with me?”

  “I can’t,” replied Ana. “My mom set her lunch time on purpose for now, so that we can have lunch together at home. Besides, I left the swimming-suit and all of those things in my bedroom, so I have to go get them. We’ll meet at the pier later, okay?”

  “OK. And once again, I’m sorry I forgot about this.”

  Ana forged a smile and tried to calm her down, by noting “Relax, babe! No sweat. It’s just...”

  Marina cocked her eyebrows. ‘Just’ meant that something was bothering her friend. And it was her fault. She had been so focused on her personal drama that she remitted their friendship to a second plan. As much as Ana said that she was excused, Marina couldn’t forgive herself.

  Seeing the guilt mirrored in her eyes, Ana rushed to complete, “I’m not angry at you for not inviting me for lunch. Honestly, I’m concerned. After that joke about Lucas being a vampire, I felt that you had lightened up; still, I can’t stop worrying about you as the Gym class approaches.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it”, interrupted Marina. “I feel good now. Let the nerves attack me as late as possible.”

  Understanding her position, Ana shut up. They walked then to the gate and found Ana’s mom already waiting in the Jeep. Marina thought of asking for a ride home, but this included a shift in the opposite direction of their house, so she dropped the idea. She bade them farewell and went home.

  She walked fast, since the class would begin half an hour earlier and she wanted to eat soon to have time for the food to digest. Suddenly, she heard a mischievous and uncovered giggles behind her. She turned to see who would be having that much fun and found Joana hanging on Joshua’s arm, batting her eyelashes at him. Behind them were ‘the two Stooges’ - in another words, the two pets that were never unglued from the hag.

  “How cute it would be! You have to fess up and admit that we are the ideal couple. Can you imagine? ‘J&J’. Sounds good, right?” said Joana after a chuckle.

  Joshua pretended to smile. However, when he learned that Marina was nearby, he played along. Within seconds, he was all smiles and secrets with the shrew.

  The honeydew conversation was already starting to hurt her ears, so Marina stopped moving. She wasn’t interested in hearing it for another single minute. Disconcerted, she went up the stairs back to the top, surprising both Joana and Joshua. When she passed by them, she drew an ironic smirk at Joshua and continued to move forward. She would return home through the path she took when she went to school in the morning, to avoid having to put up with them anymore. If they wanted to be together, fine, but she didn’t have to listen to their sickening smoothness.

  Once at home, she flew into the kitchen and heated up a pizza in the microwave. It was no lunch of champions, but it fed and wasn’t very heavy. She wanted to speed the digestion at the most. Perhaps this was also a good way to keep her stomach calm, since she knew that nerves would attack it eventually, causing war casualties.

  After eating, she went to her chambers, grabbed the swim-suit and put it on. Observed herself in the mirror and snorted; she didn’t feel safe at all seeing herself in that outfit. Do not suffer in advance, she ordered herself and dressed in the training-suit and put on the sneakers.

  The material for Translation class was in the locker, so there was no need to take the rucksack. However, she was undecided in whether to carry the sports bag with clothes. Wouldn’t it be easier to come home to bathe and then go to class? The teacher only reduced their lesson half an hour, which was little time to get to school and bathe. She sighed. She wished she had a driving license and a car at that moment; she would get to school much sooner. Perhaps Ana’s mother would drive them to school when they left the canoeing; that would solve the time issue. She texted Ana, asking if her mother was giving them a ride later, to which her friend responded in a positive way. Marina thanked in her mind. That way, it was decided: she would take the sports bag with her.

  Turning on the television, she found the same news as always: Portugal sinking into crisis, the prices rising, wages decreasing, IMF intervention in the economy... the usual. To hear about things so depressing only made her want to slumber. She was just about to fall asleep when the phone vibrated in her hand, waking her up. It was Ana saying she was leaving home. Maybe they would arrive at the same time. She unplugged the TV, grabbed the sports bag and left home.

  She made the journey to the pier at a brisk pace and along the river’s wall, in some kind of spirit preparation for what was about to come. As she was holding up well until then, when she passed by the pedestrian bridge, she dared to climb two of the steps, and bounced between them until they finished.

  All of a sudden, and without prior notice, when Marina reached the playground next to the pier, she had to seize with both hands the network that circumvented it. She was white as chalk and her stomach twisted more than a washing machine on full centrifugation. To see the water so close, without any barrier between them, was making her extremely nervous. She looked down to the ground and took a deep breath. Why, if everything was going so well until there, she asked herself. It was as if she was fine and, out of the blue, had had a devastating drop in blood pressure.

  Again the irritant clatter of giggles reached her ears. Joshua, Joana and the two usual chaperones were arriving. She wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing her in that state. She squatted down in a hurry and began to revolve the sports bag, as if looking for something. The four passed by her pretty fast and they didn’t even look at her, which was a relief.

  Ana arrived soon after. She jumped off the Jeep and ran to Marina. “Hello, girlfriend! I'm here. This class would not start without me.” Seeing her friend rummaging in the bag, she questioned, “What are you looking for?”

  Marina lost her strength and landed on the floor. Her face was covered in sweat, mirroring the terror that invaded her.

  “Wow! Did you run here or what? You're drenched in sweat.”

  “You think so?” said Marina almost without a breath. “I'm just freaking out for having the river so close. I’m not feeling well at all.”

  Ana approached her and put an arm over her shoulders to comfort her. She also disagreed with what the teacher was doing. In a gentle tone, she consoled Marina with words of support. “Don’t worry. You’ll be okay, you'll see. Look, the teacher is already here. Take the bag and let’s put you in a life jacket to see if you feel more secure.”

  Marina assented and made a tremendous effort to get up. She grabbed the sports bag with one hand and put an arm around Ana’s waist, to be able to stand up. Walking toward the pier was difficult, mainly because her feet seemed to weigh a thousand times her body weight, forcing her to drag them in an awkward way. Ana suggested her to look in the opposite direction of the river; that seemed to work, as her feet began to move with no major effort.

  Ana made Marina sit next to the playground’s wall, next to the warehouse where the canoeing material was stored, and ran to look for the life jackets. She didn’t take long to return with two in hand, one for herself and another for Marina. The teacher came out of the storehouse a little after, holding a pair of oars. Although she didn’t look good at all, he had the audacity to comment, “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”

  He could play the strong role, not her. She had nothing to prove to anyone. She hadn’t died, but she wasn’t any stronger and she was very afraid of the river. He could do the canoeing at will; she didn’t care about any of that as long as she could stay t
here, quiet like a mouse.

  The professor asked students to help remove the material they would need from the warehouse. Joana pouted; she was used to having someone to go get her things and not the other way around. After the teacher gave her a lecture, she ended up going into the warehouse, but not before saying how unfair it was to carry canoes and paddles while Marina was sitting on the floor, doing nothing. As if giving her reason, the pedagogue looked at Marina with a stern gaze of censure. Frankly, she didn’t give a damn about what he might say. She didn’t intend to move from there unless she was really forced to.

  Soon the material was brought outside. The next step was to determine who was sharing a canoe with whom.

  “Attention,” yelled the teacher. “Before boys begin to group themselves with other boys, I want you to know that you must be with girls. Of course there aren’t enough guys for all of you ladies, but those who can get a male partner, the better.”

  Joana gave a little scream of joy and clung right away to Joshua’s arm, who jumped up in fright.

  Pairs set, the teacher told them to carry the canoes into the water. With the first boat in the river, he explained what to do, who controlled the canoe’s direction and who was the ‘engine’. Ana didn’t want to leave Marina, but people without a partner were few and it didn’t seem that her friend would enter into a canoe. Maybe it was better that way.

  “Go ahead,” encouraged Marina, not wanting her colleague to be impaired because of her. “I'll wait for the end to see what happens. Maybe he’ll forget about me.”

  Ana gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder, smiled at her and walked to the end of the pier. Almost right away she entered with another girl in a canoe and her paddle slid sharply, cutting the water. Confused for not being Marina entering the canoe with Ana, the professor searched for her with his sigh, until he found her still sitting by the warehouse. Enraged, he walked up with infuriated steps to her. When he got close to her, he shouted “Get up!”

  Marina heard him, nonetheless she wasn’t feeling strong enough to stand up to that demon in the shape of a person. It was as if she was watching a scene on television and wasn’t part of it, not by not wanting to, but because she couldn’t.

  “Are you deaf? I told you get up,” repeated the teacher, even more furious.

  Yes, she had heard him. Irritated, she exploded, “I can’t even look at the river, let alone put myself in a canoe in it. If you want me to do canoeing, you’ll have to take me by force, because I don’t have the strength to get up. Haven’t you realized it yet?”

  “That’s not a problem. I’ll help you to get down there.”

  Without delay, the teacher grabbed her arms and pulled with phenomenal strength, forcing her to get up. Marina’s legs trembled. To prevent her from returning to the ground, the teacher surrounded her waist. Then he dragged her clumsily to the end of the pier. Seeing the water getting nearer, Marina’s feet became lead; she was almost dragging them over the wooden floor. Although she tried to control herself with short fast breaths, the fear was stronger. Two heavy tears rolled from her eyes. She stopped and tried to meld her body into the wooden quay to not leave there.

  “Move it, girl. Are you stupid? I gave you an order. Get into that canoe at once,” the teacher commanded in a piercing voice.

  Her tears made way for an uninterrupted mourning. Her entire body was trembling in an uncontrollable spasm. Marina fell on her knees, dominated by terror.

  “Professor, I’ll do whatever you want, but I beg you: do not to make me get into a canoe. I cannot do it, I’m really scared,” begged Marina between a hiccup.

  Joana and Joshua were still on the wharf, watching everything. For Joana, that scene was a great comedy and she laughed like crazy. What was better than seeing an enemy humiliated? For her, it was priceless. As for Joshua, he was crumbling within. He was upset with Marina, but he knew she had such a terrifying fear of the river and he had pity on her. The teacher wasn’t being understanding at all; he felt like shooting him down from there as punishment for that, after all, who did that to a traumatized student? He had to do something to help her.

  In a shy note, he said, “Um, sir, she doesn’t seem to feel good. Wouldn’t it be better to leave her out of the exercise?”

  “No,” shouted the man as he turned to Joshua. “And stay out of this. She must overcome her fears before they take over her life.”

  That conversation seemed like something that the professor had memorized from a cheap psychology book. To Marina, he could have had suffered some trauma before and that crap could have been the conversation that someone had had with him. Just because someone forced him to face things that he didn’t want to, he had no right to do the same with her. She would enter the river sooner or later, but not that day - it was too early. The teacher pulled her again and she followed him. It was better not to move away from him, since her head was spinning around.

  Upon seeing her effort, Joshua came to front and asked, “Who will be her partner?”

  The teacher was about to respond, when a voice behind him outgrew his, “Her partner will be me.” It was Lucas, who had just arrived.

  If looks could kill, Lucas would have fallen on the floor completely flat. However, he didn’t get intimidated, so he returned Joshua the look almost with the same intensity and completed “I’ll stay with her, don’t worry. This way, you don’t have to leave your partner alone.”

  Joshua turned back and found Joana choleric, with arms folded and foot tapping. After snorting a bit like a mad dog, he passed a paddle to Joana and, annoyed, signaled for her to get inside the canoe.

  While they journeyed towards the central area of ​​the river, Lucas approached Marina and assured the teacher, “You don’t have to worry about her any more, sir. I’ll take care of my colleague. Can I have one of those vests from the warehouse? I went there to look for one, but I didn’t find any. I don’t know if they are all gone or if there’s more stored in another box.”

  Lucas stretched out his arms to Marina and the teacher passed her to him in good will. He was sick of her weakness. Still grumbling, the coach went back to the storehouse to search a vest for the boy.

  Feeling Lucas’ close to her, Marina embraced him energetically. He was surprised by her strength, but didn’t flinch. He took a hand into his pocket, pulled out a blue handkerchief and passed it to her. She received it as if it was welcome, wiped her face fast and turned to hide it in his chest. It didn’t matter that his body was cold; indeed, it even felt good - it helped to control the fire that consumed her from within.

  The teacher was approaching; she could hear his heavy footsteps. Soon they would get in the canoe. Tears wanted to escape her again, nevertheless she refused to allow it.

  Before the panic took over her once more, Lucas approached his lips to her ear and whispered, “Don’t be afraid. You know that I would never let you hit the bottom.”

  Marina shuddered and felt every word pulsing deep inside as she apprehended them. She hastened to turn her face away from his chest to be able to stare into his eyes. For a brief moment, it was as if they had been transported to a private universe, whose only life forms summarized to the two of them. Nothing else existed. Everything had been remitted to insignificance before the importance of those words that were worth more than gold.

  Marina continued to contemplate the depths of Lucas through the windows of the soul. She knew then that he had just admitted it, although in a roundabout way: he had been there the day of the bridge accident, hadn’t let her hit the bottom and never would. He would never let her drown! It was a certainty so ingrained within her that she would put her hands in fire for it!

  “Do you trust me?” he asked with a soothing voice and without looking away for a single second.

  Marina nodded her head, and in a mechanical gesture began to move away from him so that he could put on the life-jacket brought by the teacher. Strangely, she was feeling calmer after hearing those words that sounded like musi
c.

  Equipped, Lucas took her hand and slowly they approached the canoe. He got in and pulled her with gentleness. Although she offered some resistance for a moment and spiked her feet on the edge of the pier, Lucas gave her a small nod, giving her the confidence to join him. Once in the boat, her first instinct was to cling firmly to the sides, but the professor snarled that she had to row in fact, otherwise the negative grade maintained.

  “No sweat, coach. Further ahead, she’ll grab the oar. She just needs a few minutes to get used to this,” tried Lucas to calm down, reinforcing his speech with a confident smile.

  He put the oar in the water and started paddling. When she felt the canoe rocking, Marina closed her eyes tightly and dug her nails on the edge of the boat to hold on. There was an authentic revolution going on in her stomach and her head wanted to follow the same path. She was dizzy.

  For about two minutes, Lucas said nothing to enable her to adapt to the situation. When they were approaching the pillar to which she had clung for her life, Lucas asked her to open her eyes. “It's okay. Check this: here’s your life buoy. Don’t you want to thank it?”

  Marina opened her eyelids one by one and looked ahead. There it was: the pillar to which she had held. Of course she wanted to thank it, it had played an important role in her rescue. Just like him. As they passed beneath the bridge, she said aloud, “Thank you.”

  Lucas smiled without letting her notice.

  Leaving the pedestrian bridge behind, they headed toward the other one to which the local people called ‘Old Bridge’ for being the first one ever built in Alcácer. Although she felt that her muscles didn’t obey her properly, Marina took the oar in front of her. She was there because she had been obliged and she was very scared, but she wanted to have at least a ten on the final evaluation at that subject; for that, she had to paddle. Armed with the oar, Marina made it slide to her right side and found the water. The initial feeling she had was of dread; however, and feeling the breathing of Lucas behind her, she tried to unwind. She rowed slowly, switching sides as if it was something automatic.

  When she felt more relaxed and was sure that her voice was steadier, she said to Lucas, “The appreciation was extended to both of you.”

  Lucas pretended not to understand what she meant by that and remained quiet.

  Nonetheless, Marina insisted, “You know, one day we'll have to talk about what you do. The more curious I may feel, I know I have to respect your space and I'll do it. But don’t forget that I'll wait and I won’t lose sight of my goal.”

  Lucas targeted the water furtively and said nothing, as if she wasn’t talking to him. It was obvious that he wasn’t going to answer her; thus, and fulfilling what she had announced, the girl decided to respect his wishes and went silent also. She moved the paddle to the other side, while Lucas made the canoe turn back to the pier.

  When they were about to pass under the bridge again, Marina ventured one last time, “Thanks for saving me when I fell off the bridge, and for pushing me out of the way of that car.”

  He might consider her foolish at will, she didn’t care. She knew that he had been there, even if nobody else had seen him, and she wanted to show her appreciation. It was the least she could do. At peace with herself, she looked to the riverside and the firm land she was eager for. Inexplicably, her gaze was drawn to one of the benches where someone was sat. Marina shivered. The darkness that enveloped him marred her insight and hindered his identification. She tried to focus the image and gave a little jump in the canoe: she already knew who he was. He was the black figure she had seen at the car accident. That could only mean that something bad was going to occur. It couldn’t be. She was wearing the bracelet with the protective stones, she should be safe; plus, her savior was there with her.

  Lucas! Would he be seeing the same thing as her? Stuttering, Marina asked, “Lucas, are you really back there?”

  “I am,” he assured with a deep voice.

  “Do you see what I see?”

  He responded with a "hum-hum” of agreement, continuing to row at the same pace. In a safe tone, he told her, “He won’t dare harm you, I'm here. Keep rowing. We’re about to reach the pier and the teacher has to see that you're striving for that positive grade.”

  Knowing that Lucas was there for her was great, but she couldn’t relax still. All the terror she had felt before returned and brought reinforcements with it. Although afraid, she continued to row, in a bewildered gesture.

  As soon as she felt the canoe pulling alongside the berth, she jumped out of the boat and didn’t even need help getting out. Marina fell on her knees on the wooden floor and didn’t want to budge from there. She only raised her face when she heard the entire class applauding her, as if she had just won a race. She wasn’t expecting that incredible reaction of support, but she couldn’t afford to enjoy it. Her vision slid through the crowd, and behind her classmates, she found the dark figure now materialized into a man dressed in black. She stared at him, in an attempt to anticipate his movements. Under the despair and anguish, she clung to the bracelet that swayed on her right wrist and begged it in a low voice, “Work, bracelet. Please, bracelet work.”

  The professor helped Lucas to pull the canoe out of the water and asked two boys to stow it in the warehouse. He approached Marina and gave her a mighty slap on the back, saying, “See? Don’t you feel better now?” He smiled, victoriously.

  She, however, just felt more and more frightened, sensing that something bad would happen. She decided to ignore the pedagogue and everyone else. Was it possible that anyone else could see that guy beyond her and Lucas? He moved at great speed, as if he was made of air, and never was still in one place for too long, making it difficult to follow him. It was as if he was spying her, waiting for her to fall into the trap he had prepared for her, and no one even noticed because he was invisible to them.

  Lucas turned away from her to take off his life-jacket, and made room for the colleagues to greet her. Nervous, Marina searched him out with her sight as she stood up. When she found him, she begged him inside to get her out of there or to send away the man, shadow or whatever he was, because they both knew what it meant.

  Joana also approached her. Cynically, she put one arm around Marina’s shoulders and voiced something that Marina didn’t memorize, since she wasn’t interested in that. Feeling the arm of that stupid girl on her was giving her nausea, so Marina tried to swerve. However, she wasn’t able to get rid of that arm that resembled a heavy anchor holding her there. The beads of cold sweat danced on her forehead. From rosy, her skin became marble. What did destiny reserve her this time?

  Although the shrill voice sounded miles away from her, Marina heard Joana’s mocking speech, “I enjoyed your working method in this case, sir, but I think there was a quick and easy way to solve the problem of Marina.”

  The teacher crossed his arms and queried, “Yeah? And what was that, if I may know?”

  “This!” Joana pulled her arm over Marina’s shoulders, turned to her and pushed her with all her energy toward the river.

  Feeling pushed, and guessing what would follow, Marina reviewed what had happened when she had fallen from the bridge, and revived all those awful feelings. Within her, reverberated the desperate plea, Not again, please! She released a last cry of genuine distress and it echoed through the air sharply.

  Seeing her disappearing in the fluid liquid, Joana turned to the teacher with an expression of triumph and said, “See, sir? Problem solved. And you don’t have to worry; she has a life-jacket, soon will come to the surface. Shock therapy always has been the best.”

  As Joana had announced, Marina didn’t take long to come to the surface. However, something strange was happening. Her body was facing down and it seemed to be confined to float. Before everyone gained awareness of what was happening, Lucas ran up the dock and jumped into the water. He gave two strong strokes and got near her. He turned her around and, to his dismay, he found out that her eyes were shut; she h
ad fainted with the overwhelming whirlwind of emotions. At some cost, he pulled her close to him, put his lips over hers and blew. In the first moment, he received no response, so repeated the gesture. Her body writhed in convulsions and she woke up, coughing. Lucas rushed to pull her back to the wharf, under the incredulous gazes of everyone. Joshua and the teacher ran to hoist her.

  “Stay away, let her breathe. I'll call an ambulance”, announced the teacher as he walked away with phone in hand.

  If someone asked her what she was thinking, Marina would reply "nothing". It was as if everything had been erased. There was no past, present or future. She was a tabula rasa, a blank sheet waiting to be scratched. Falling gradually into herself, she processed what the teacher had said and something inside her shouted to react. She had to keep him from making that call, she didn’t want to scare her mother. Bringing together all the energy she had left, she whispered that she was fine and there was no need for an ambulance.

  “Are you sure? You were unconscious,” insisted the professor.

  “It was just due to the fright,” assured Marina hoarsely.

  In an involuntary act, her vision escaped in the water’s direction and she tensed once again. The teacher continued to talk, but his voice sounded very distant. On one hand, she wanted to cling to that image that was part of the present; on the other, she had no desire to do so, because it implied the recognition of what had just happened.

  Lucas touched her lightly on the hand and Marina felt enclosed by a feeling of tranquility that encouraged her to come back. She looked at him and noticed the doubt about her well-being mirrored in his eyes. She nodded slightly to rest him and lifted her chin in the direction where she had seen the weird guy for the last time. Understanding her request, Lucas assented, withdrew his hand from hers, and stepped away to do what she has asked him.

  Also willing to do something to help her, Joshua caught her in his arms, causing envy to most girls who wished for a second to be in his arms. Turning to the teacher, he snapped, “You should be ashamed to have forced her to come, especially when she has done everything to warn you that it was too early. What about you, Joana? You’re nothing but a spoiled inconsequential brat.” He began to walk along the pier, while ordering to Ana, “Hurry, give me her bag.”

  Ana assented. She ran to the store to grab the bag and stuffed it in his arm. Under the gravity of the moment, she refrained from imagining what he intended to do with the clothes of her friend.

  Before leaving, Joshua gave one last message to their colleagues, “Obviously, we’re not attending Translation class. Explain to the teacher what has happened.” With this, he began walking toward his house that was only a few feet away.

  Marina didn’t look at him during the journey, remaining inaccessible in her inner world where she felt protected. Still, she remembered thinking that he was much stronger than he seemed, after all he carried her in his arms and moved without much effort. He was athletic, but she never thought that he had so much strength. She had underestimated him.

  Only when they reached the stairs that gave access to the first floor, Joshua showed some problems. He leaned against the wall and spoke to her gently, as if afraid that the vibration of his voice would tear her in two. “Marina, we have to climb the stairs to the first floor. Unfortunately, I’m not Superman; I don’t have enough strength to take you up there in my arms. Do you think you can give me a hand over here?”

  Marina reconsidered her position. Even though it was safer to stay in her fantasy bubble, she couldn’t ignore the ‘now and then’ for an indefinite period, and Joshua was asking her kindly to come back. They were angry, but there he was, willing to forget everything and help her. He was a nice guy and that made him climb a lot in her consideration. Attending to his request, she put one foot at a time on the floor. Joshua supported her and they climbed the steps slowly. When they arrived at his apartment, Joshua opened the door and then they entered.

  Joshua led her to the bathroom. Before she assimilated where she was, Joshua led her close to the tub and bent down to turn on the hot water. Then he turned to Marina and began to undress her. At first she moved robotically, responding to the restrained pokes he gave to her clothes. She only realizes what he was doing when she felt a draft skimming her skin. Marina blinked, looked down and saw that Joshua was taking off her training-suit pants. Was he going to advantage of her in that situation?

  “No,” shouted Marina, questioning his actions. She tried to move away, but her lack of energy helped him to control her easily, holding her by the arms.

  With a peacemaker tone, Joshua asserted, “Calm down, I'm not going to hurt you. I swear. We just have to get you out of these wet clothes and help you to warm up with a hot bath, okay?”

  Marina took a while to process the information. She ended up nodding, showing that she had understood what he had said. She wanted to trust him, but she couldn’t stop asking within: would he undress her all? She couldn’t allow it. That was inappropriate, wrong and against her will.

  Once she was only in the swim-suit, Joshua held her with one hand to prevent her from falling, while the other tore the clothes off his body in a hurry. Soon he was only in swimming-trunks. He stepped into the tub and asked her to get in too. Marina obeyed. Joshua sat down and signaled her to sit between his. The tub was huge and round, so the two fitted in there perfectly. Marina hesitated for a split second; although reluctant, she gave up in the end. That was too intimate and even had a certain erotic charge. No, she rejected. He was just helping her, nothing else. Erotic charge... I’m being too influenced by Ana’s conversations, she grumbled inside.

  When Marina felt the water on her belly, she got frightened, but Joshua soon hugged her from behind and murmured her to quiet down. His voice was so sweet and smoothing, that acted as a balm for the soul. Gradually the panic began to dissipate, and when she felt more relaxed, she admitted that that warm water felt good. They were too close, with her practically lying back on him, which made her a little flustered. Nonetheless, she let herself be rocked by his honeyed words and focused only on them.

  “I know, sweetie. It was wickedness what they did to you today. Forget it. Everything’s fine. I'm here with you and I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” As he spoke, he got the sprinkler, turned on the water so that it would run only a small string, and began to wash her head.

  It felt good to be there. It was as if nothing had happened and the world had stopped just for her to enjoy that brief moment. However, what was good always came to an end. Shortly after, Joshua got up and asked her to stand up so that he could give her one last shower to remove the remains of foam.

  The next instant was a little embarrassing. He helped her to leave the tub, grabbed a towel and stared at the ground. Abashed, he explained, “Do you think you can take off the bathing-suit and dry yourself alone? Here's your bag with your clothes. Um, yeah, lady's underwear... Of course it’s ladies, you’re not a man, right? But what am I talking about? What I mean is I can’t do the rest for you.”

  Marina looked at Joshua and found him blushing. She crimsoned as well when she understood what he meant. In fact, she would have to gain the vigor to be able to carry out that specific task.

  Joshua grabbed another towel and handed her, while saying, “I’m going to my room to get dressed and then I’ll wait for you here, at the door. When you're ready, just let me know and I’ll come in and help you.”

  When he was preparing to leave, Marina remembered that the sweater she had in the bag was long sleeved and the jeans glued to her body. She didn’t want to wear those clothes; she needed a greater freedom of movement, for this she cut in, “Can I borrow a t-shirt and some shorts of yours?”

  The boy stopped and looked at her with an expression of confusion. It was a strange request, but feasible. He agreed and withdrew, shutting the bathroom door behind him.

  The bath had been invigorating and Marina felt much better. She was tranquil and didn’t fear that anythin
g else would happen. Already happened what had to happen, she thought. With her forces renewed and feeling prepared to return in full to the present, she took off her swim-suit, dried and dressed in the underwear.

  Minutes later, Joshua knocked at the door with the clothes she had requested. Marina wrapped herself in a bath towel and asked him to come in. Embarrassed, Joshua didn’t dare to look. He spoke very fast, tripping over a bit. “Unfortunately, I have no more shorts besides these I'm using, but my brother has a fetish with Ultra XL T-shirts, so I brought you one. Probably it will suit you as a dress.”

  Joshua handed her a gray t-shirt, with some letters in pink, and went out even before she had the chance to thank him. Marina got dressed and thought that Joshua was right as she stared up at the mirror: she looked like she had put on a largish dress that almost reached her knees. She shrugged. It was what she had and it would do very well. She picked up the brush from her bag and tried to undo the knots in her hair.

  Next she tried to clean up the mess in the toilet. She refused be invited there and leave everything chaotic. When everything seemed to be neat and tidy, she opened the door. Joshua was just outside as he had said. He smiled to see her with a look closer to normal.

  “You look like you’re feeling better,” he noted.

  Marina agreed, “Yes, I'm feeling much better now.”

  “Then come with me.”

  Marina had no idea where he was taking her, but she didn’t mind, for she felt that she was in a secure place and could rely on Joshua for real. However, seeing him opening the door of what she guessed to be his room, she stopped and took a step back. Remembering that she had already been mistaken about his intentions, she chose to give him the benefit of the doubt and dared to enter his chambers. It was a typical boy’s room, where the blue tone prevailed. On the wall in front of the door was a window that allowed him to have good natural lighting. The bed occupied the central place in the room; next to it, was a small bedside table with a dark blue lamp with a picture of Goofy that made her laugh inside. On the opposite wall to the window was the wardrobe. On the other side was a dresser, a desk with a laptop, and then an empty bookcase. Marina went to the desk and stared at the little boxes that populated it – computer games. She grabbed one, that she found to be ‘Tomb Rider’, and showed it to Joshua, who rolled his eyes as if he had been caught with something embarrassing.

  “What?” he asked. “I'm still waiting for my dad to help me to install the TV and the PlayStation. Since they don’t let me play in the living room, I picked up my old PC games to entertain myself.”

  Marina nodded her head on hearing the explanation. She put down the game and ran her fingers along the empty shelves.

  Joshua was quick to justify, “I told you that I still had boxes to unpack. They are full of books, DVD's and CD's to stow there. It’s just that I've been… busy.”

  Typical boys’ excuse, echoed Marina’s mind. On what came to the stowage, they left much to desire, starting with the will to do so. What would those boxes have inside? Curious, she began to move towards them. Joshua grabbed her wrist, stopping her. “No, ma'am,” he said. “No way you’re going to arrange that. Now you’re going to lie down in bed and have some rest. Don’t you feel tired?”

  Indeed, the shower felt good, but it was also true that it had left her a little sleepy. Lying down wasn’t a bad idea, except she didn’t feel comfortable to do it there, in Joshua’s bed. She glanced at him through the corner of her eye, and for the first became aware that he was wearing only swimming-trunks and he was topless. She had seen him before without a shirt and she knew he was pretty hot, nevertheless having him there, so close to her like that, made her turn redder than a pepper and feeling a little choked. Trying to cover it up, she dropped her eyes to the tiles of the floor.

  Joshua smiled inside when he became aware of her reaction. Trying to put her more at ease, he attested, “Don’t worry, I won’t stay here in the room. I’m going to the living room for you to be more at ease.”

  Marina blinked her eyes. It was as if he had read her mind. She used to boast that nobody could tell how she felt. Hum, she could be more transparent than before. She evaluated the proposal and ended up saying, “That doesn’t make much sense. It’s your room, you should want... I don’t know, to do things here as usual. It’s your space.”

  “Nah! I'll do homework and then I’m going to eat and watch TV. Speaking of which, are you hungry?”

  Marina shook her head that she wasn’t hungry. After the revolution wrought by her stomach that afternoon, she wasn’t anxious for the next meal. She looked at the bed. It seemed quite inviting... And it would feel good to snooze. If he put things in that perspective, she was willing to accept the offer and to get some rest there.

  “Fine, I’ll lie down for a while,” she said. “But don’t let me sleep for a long time, I don’t want to go home late. Ah! And you should know that it doesn’t seem right e that you do this for me; you already did too much.”

  “Don’t be silly,” he depreciated.

  As Marina pulled back the quilt and the sheet, Joshua went to the wardrobe to get a cushion. He then made a sign for her to lie down and she obeyed. He covered her with the sheet and gave her a kiss on her cheek by way of farewell. He left and pulled the bedroom door closed behind him. Marina sank into the pillow. Oh, good! It smelled like Joshua. With that familiar fragrance so close, she should be able to rest. She quickly drifted into sleep.