by Rhoda Baxter
Beth drew a deep breath. If Hibs could be big about this, so could she. If she was being honest, one of the reasons she felt so angry with him was that she knew he was right. She had to learn to prioritise. Her work was at least as important as Gordon. ‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t sulk like a teenager.’
‘Teenager? A child more like.’ The corners of his mouth twitched upwards.
‘Don’t push it.’ Relief washed over her. It was as though a weight had been lifted. She had her friend back.
‘Wouldn’t dream of it.’ He held out a hand. ‘Friends?’
‘Friends.’ She shook his hand and tried not to think about how warm it was.
‘So.’ Hibs leaned back in his chair. ‘What are you up to this evening? Seeing Gordon between readings?’
Beth nodded. ‘Don’t worry. I won’t miss any, no matter how persuasive Gordon’s being.’
‘Glad to hear it.’
Anna and Lara returned, Lara’s eyes looking red. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said.
‘Don’t be,’ said Hibs. ‘You’re going through a crap time. You’re allowed to feel crap.’
Lara sniffed. ‘Thanks.’ She punched him on the shoulder. ‘I can always rely on you to tell me I’m crap.’
‘I never said that. I said you’re allowed to feel crap.’ Hibs rolled his eyes. ‘Bloody women. Putting words in my mouth and leaking tears everywhere.’
Lara managed a weak smile.
‘That’s better,’ said Hibs. ‘Want to talk about it?’
Lara sat down. ‘Not especially.’
Hibs gave her a long look. ‘Fair enough. If you ever want someone to try and talk some sense into him, let me know.’
Lara raised her eyebrows at him. ‘You? Talk about relationships? That’ll be a first.’
Gordon arrived as Lara was leaving. She nodded to him but didn’t bother to say hello. Beth paused in her task of cutting up apples for the crumble. It was sad that her friends never appreciated Gordon. Lara, like Hibs, had always told her that Gordon didn’t value her. They must see they were wrong now. After all, he had come back to her after just six months apart.
Gordon kissed her before he threw himself into a chair. Beth went back to chopping apples.
‘Is that the calendar?’ said Gordon, looking at the open laptop. ‘Is it done? Can I see?’
Anna hesitated before she said, ‘Sure.’
Beth turned to watch him as he stretched across the table and took the laptop from Anna. His face was neutral as he clicked through the pictures. But Beth knew what she was looking for and she spotted the slight tightening around the eyes that said he wasn’t best pleased. She should have hidden that bloody laptop before he came round. This evening was supposed to be about placating him, not needling him even more.
‘Hey, isn’t that Dan Blackwood?’ Gordon pointed to the photo.
‘You know him?’ said Anna.
‘A bit. His office is at the end of my corridor. We chat when we meet at the coffee machine.’
‘Cosy,’ Anna said.
‘I’m surprised you got him to pose for this. I thought he was married.’
‘It’s a calendar to show that there are attractive men in science,’ said Anna. ‘Not a dating column. Bloody hell. Why does everyone think that?’
Gordon ignored her. ‘Let’s see the rest of your specimens then.’
Beth winced at the word ‘specimens’. They had all been nice guys – they were certainly not specimens. She looked over her shoulder to see Anna, her lips pressed together, scrolling through the photos for Gordon. Hibs was studying the picture on the wall with apparent concentration. Who would have thought that a picture of a plate of lemons could be so fascinating?
‘Very good,’ said Gordon. ‘Nice photos, Beth. You can hardly tell they weren’t professionally done.’
There was a moment of tense silence before Anna cleared her throat. ‘We were about to have a cup of tea. Would you like one, Gordon?’ Her voice was pointedly polite.
‘I’ll make them.’ Hibs jumped to his feet, put the kettle on and moved round Beth to find the mugs. ‘How do you take your tea, Gordon?’
‘Black. No sugar.’
Hibs threw teabags into mugs. ‘Anna?’
‘White, one sugar, please, my lover.’
Hibs turned and winked at her. She said, ‘Mwah,’ and blew him a kiss. Beth tried not to notice the twinge of annoyance she felt. What did she have to be annoyed about? She moved along a bit to give Hibs space as he poured the water. It seemed natural to share work space with him. She did it every day at the lab.
‘There we go.’ Hibs pushed Beth’s cup towards her before he handed the others round. He didn’t need to ask her how she took hers.
‘Thanks,’ said Anna.
Beth didn’t hear Gordon say anything. There was the rustle of newspaper, and then silence again.
‘So,’ said Anna, brightly. ‘What are you cooking, Beth? It smells delicious.’
‘Lasagne.’
‘Yummy.’ Anna sniffed the air. ‘Aren’t you having garlic bread? I love garlic bread.’
‘I don’t,’ said Gordon.
Beth loved garlic bread too. She had eaten lots of it when she’d been single. But Gordon said it made her smell like a pizzeria. So no garlic bread these days.
‘Do you cook, Gordon?’ Anna asked.
‘Very well, thanks,’ said Gordon. ‘Since you ask.’
‘How about you, Hibs?’
‘I can follow a recipe.’
‘Really?’ Anna sounded amused.
‘Hang on, how come you find it hard to believe that I can cook?’ Hibs said. ‘I can.’
‘You’ve never cooked for me.’
‘I’ve only known you a fortnight.’ Hibs leaned back in his chair so that he could see Beth. ‘Back me up here, Beth.’
He had cooked a meal for all his friends on his birthday. Yes, he could cook. ‘He doesn’t do it often, but when he does, he does it well,’ Beth said.
‘So there.’ Hibs nodded triumphantly at Anna.
‘Men make better chefs than women,’ Gordon observed, without looking away from his paper.
‘Ooh,’ said Anna. ‘Those are fighting words. What about Gordon, Beth. Can he cook?’
Beth paused in her chopping and tried to remember a time when Gordon had cooked for her. She turned, knife in hand, and looked at Gordon for assistance.
‘I prefer to take Beth out for meals,’ he said. ‘That way, I don’t have to rush about preparing things and I can give Beth the attention she deserves.’ He smiled at her. ‘Isn’t that right, babe?’
Beth turned back to her crumble. ‘Yes. That’s right.’ That’s what he had always said and she believed him. After all, why would he lie? It suddenly occurred to her that she had always cooked for him a lot. Maybe it would be nice for him to put himself out and cook her a meal, for a change. But she said nothing.
‘Anyway,’ said Gordon. ‘What are you two up to on Hibs’s night off?’
‘We’re going to the cinema to see a re-run of Taxi,’ said Anna. ‘The original French one, not the one with Queen Latifah.’
‘That’ll have subtitles,’ said Gordon.
‘I can read,’ said Hibs.
There was a rustle as Gordon turned a page. Beth measured out the flour and sugar for the crumble. The tension in the room was grating on her nerves. She wished Hibs and Anna would just go. She was nervous enough about this evening without having to worry about them hanging around as well.
‘The cinema sounds very cosy,’ said Gordon. ‘Does that mean you two are a proper couple now?’
There was a pause. Beth turned round just as Anna said ‘yes’ and Hibs said ‘no’.
Anna and Hibs s
tared at each other for a tense moment. Hibs’s eyes were wide and slightly panic-stricken.
‘You don’t sound too sure,’ Gordon said with amusement in his voice.
‘No,’ said Hibs, his eyes still on Anna. ‘We’re not.’
‘We’re just having fun together.’ She turned to look at Gordon. ‘Nothing serious. Just one day at a time. Right, Hibs?’
‘Right.’ His voice was too sharp and Beth thought he still looked frightened. To her surprise she felt a little pleased about that.
Turning, Beth noticed that Gordon was watching her. She gave him a quick smile and returned to her cooking.
‘Sorry,’ Gordon said, sounding anything but. ‘I seem to have touched a nerve there.’
‘Don’t worry about it,’ said Hibs. ‘What time does this film start, Anna? Should we get going?’
After they’d gone, Gordon said, ‘Well, I think Hibs has bitten off more than he can chew there.’
Beth took the lasagne out of the oven and dished up. She didn’t want to say anything in case it gave away too much. Her awareness of Hibs was a passing thing. It wouldn’t have even started if Gordon had been there. If Hibs’s girlfriend hadn’t been her housemate, she wouldn’t have noticed who he was sleeping with. It was nothing. However, Gordon could be quite protective of her.
‘Beth?’
‘Hmm?’ She realised she’d been staring into space, thinking. ‘Sorry, what was that?’
‘I said, Hibs might have met his match with Anna.’
‘Looks like it,’ she said. ‘They’ve seen a lot of each other for a few weeks now. That’s a pretty long time for Hibs.’
‘Hmm.’ Gordon prodded his lasagne. ‘You know, I still think Hibs fancies you.’
Beth felt her heart rate increase. Had he somehow read her mind? ‘That’s silly,’ she said.
‘Is it? You spend a lot of time together.’
‘That’s only because we work together. Hibs spends a lot of time with Vik. I don’t see you accusing him of fancying him.’
‘Woah. Steady on. No need to snap.’
‘I wasn’t …’ If she argued, would she be demonstrating that she cared? Would it be better to dismiss his suggestion as though it wasn’t worth thinking about? ‘Never mind them,’ she said. ‘Let’s talk about something more interesting. How was your day?’
There was a pause as Gordon looked at her steadily. Beth held his gaze, her throat constricting. She took care to breathe evenly. He couldn’t read her mind. She hadn’t done anything wrong. Okay, she’d admired another man. A bit. She didn’t mean it seriously. It wasn’t a crime.
Gordon gave a small nod and broke off eye contact. ‘My day?’ he said. ‘It was good thanks.’
Chapter Sixteen
Hibs sat in the cinema, glaring at the screen. The film was loud and lively. Normally, he would have enjoyed it, but Anna’s comment about them being a couple was bothering him. If she thought that, then it was time to move on. In a way, he was disappointed. He liked Anna. She was good company and great in bed. But if she wanted more than that … well, he couldn’t offer it to her.
Anna’s hand had made it onto his thigh. He put his hand over hers and gripped it firmly. Then she leaned across and nipped his earlobe – he moved away slightly. The sex-on-demand thing was great, but he needed to think. And he was tired. He spent his working nights in the lab and his nights off either with Anna, or in the dojo, which meant he hadn’t slept properly in weeks. Suddenly, he was unbelievably shattered. When Anna’s hand moved further up his leg, he moved it back down.
‘What’s wrong?’ Anna whispered in his ear.
‘We’re supposed to be watching a film,’ he whispered back.
‘So?’
‘Well, you’re the one who wanted to see it.’
Her eyes gleamed at him in the cinema light. ‘What’s going on with you?’
There were several shhhs from people around them and Hibs spread his hands in a gesture of helplessness. Anna narrowed her eyes at him and turned back to the screen, crossing her arms.
Hibs settled back in his seat. This ‘date’ had gone a bit wrong. Most dates did. That’s why it was simpler not to go on them. On the screen two cars screamed round a track but after a few moments, his eyelids started to drop. The room was warm and dark and noisy; it lulled him to sleep.
Beth hung up her cycle helmet and coat when she got back from the lab. Gordon was still in the kitchen, reading, and didn’t say anything.
‘I passed Hibs and Anna walking back from the cinema,’ Beth said. Almost on autopilot, she put the kettle on.
‘Oh yes? Did they look coupley?’
‘You shouldn’t tease them like that,’ she said. ‘It’s … mean.’
‘They can take it. Besides, it’s funny.’
‘Hmmm.’ She still thought it was mean. Beth was hot from cycling, so she pulled off her jumper and tied it round her waist. After a moment, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle and turned to find Gordon watching her, his expression disapproving.
‘What?’
‘What’s that T-shirt you’re wearing?’
Beth looked down. She was wearing the skinny tee that she’d got for her birthday. ‘It was a present from the guys in the lab.’
Gordon sniffed. ‘It makes you look like a geek.’
Beth laughed. ‘I am a geek.’ She tossed teabags into mugs as the kettle started to boil. Before she could pour, Gordon came up behind her and kissed her, just behind her ear.
‘I think,’ he said, ‘that it doesn’t suit you and you should take it off.’
‘But, I like it.’
Gordon kissed his way down her neck and wrapped his hands around her waist. ‘Perhaps I can persuade you.’ He turned her round to face him.
Beth slipped her arms round his neck. ‘Oh yes?’
Gordon replied by kissing her lips. He tasted faintly of apple crumble and smelled of Lynx. Beth savoured the familiar sensations. The way he tasted, the warmth of his arms round her, the feel of hard swimmer’s muscles against her. Tea forgotten, she kissed him back.
Gordon’s fingers sneaked underneath her top and brushed her spine. Excitement tingled through her like electricity. His hands caressed gently and moved up. His kisses became more fervent. He paused, then, with a swift movement, he pulled the top over her head and tossed it into the recycle bin.
Beth gasped. ‘Gordon! That was a present!’ She didn’t mind, really. She could retrieve it later.
He bent his head and kissed her chest. ‘Mmm?’ He straightened up and his mouth found hers. Beth gave up and gave into the delicious feeling.
There was a sound at the door and Beth sprang back. Anna was home – probably with Hibs. She couldn’t let them see her semi-clothed. But Gordon’s embrace held her firmly to him.
‘Gordon. I need to get my top.’
‘No you don’t.’
Hearing the key in the lock, she wriggled. Gordon pinned her arms with his and kissed the swell of her breasts, still holding her tight. Her heart raced. She could feel her throat constrict in panic. She would just die of embarrassment if Hibs saw her like this. She twisted in earnest. The door handle turned. Gordon grinned and let her go. He was between her and the T-shirt, so she made a bolt for her room instead. Gordon reached after her and snapped her bra clasp. As she twisted out of his way, her breasts escaped from the delicate material. She shrieked and made it into her room just as Anna and Hibs walked in. Gordon slipped in behind her, laughing.
Beth’s face flamed with embarrassment and her breath came fast. What if they had seen her? She pulled her bra back on. ‘I can’t believe you just did that.’
Gordon took hold of her hands. ‘Hey, leave that,’ he said, taking the bra off her and dropping it on the floor.
‘What
if they saw me?’
‘So what? They’re adults. They know what a topless woman looks like.’ He pulled her gently onto her bed and unzipped her jeans.
Still angry, Beth moved her face as he tried to kiss her. ‘But Hibs is my colleague. I won’t be able to face him at work.’ Why was he being so cavalier about this? Didn’t he understand how mortifying it was?
Gordon tilted his head to one side. ‘Oh, babe. I didn’t realise you’d feel that way about it. I’m sorry.’ He smiled.
For a moment, Beth was trapped between her own feelings of embarrassment and rage and confusion. Gordon raised her hand to his face and kissed the palm. He wasn’t fazed by it at all. He hadn’t meant to upset her. Maybe she was overreacting. It was a mistake. A bit of foreplay gone wrong. She stared at him, her indignation seeping away.
‘You’re getting upset over nothing, you’ll see,’ said Gordon gently. ‘Don’t be silly.’
It was silly, she supposed. He was right. They wouldn’t have seen her. Gordon was just trying to liven things up a bit. Yes. Silly. She sighed.
He kissed her ‘That’s better. And besides.’ He slipped his hand inside her jeans. ‘You look so, so sexy right now.’
Beth didn’t know what to say. Gordon laid her back on the bed, his fingers exploring. His kisses were deeper, more aroused than before. And Beth, her heart pounding as the adrenaline kicked in, kissed him back.
Hibs followed Anna into the kitchen just in time to see Beth, her breasts escaping from her bra, bolting into her bedroom. The world lost focus for a moment as Gordon, just behind Beth, paused at the door and grinned at Hibs.
‘What was that all about?’ Anna said, throwing her keys on the table. ‘I thought we were the kinky ones around here.’
Hibs said nothing. The sight of a topless Beth, her slim, smooth back; the glimpse of a small, perfect breast, replayed in his mind. Unable to look at Anna, he looked around the kitchen. Something in the recycling bin caught his attention. He picked it up and recognised Beth’s T-shirt. It was still warm. He carefully turned it the right side out and a picture of a crying Pluto looked back at him. He remembered Beth opening the parcel, the laughter when she pulled it out and held it against herself. The top looked tiny in his hands. Why had she thrown it away? He’d thought she liked it.