by Rhoda Baxter
Anna was still talking and Hibs tried to concentrate. He had to get the image of Beth out of his mind or he would never be able to concentrate on anything ever again. He forced himself to look up. ‘Pardon?’
‘I said, what do you want to do tonight?’ She put a coffee on the table, next to him.
He looked at Anna and felt very tired. He liked Anna. More than anyone he’d slept with before. But if this went on for much longer, she’d expect more from him. It was getting complicated. It always did. ‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘There isn’t an awful lot of tonight left, is there?’
Anna was looking at his hands and he realised he was still holding the T-shirt. He dropped it on the table and held his hands up to show they were empty. He had to focus on the girl in front of him. Anna stepped into the gap between his hands and kissed him. Hibs closed his eyes. A vision of Beth running away sprang up behind his eyelids. Concentrate, he told himself. Anna’s arms were around his neck now, her body close. He tried to focus on Anna, but all he could think about was Beth. This was all wrong. He broke away from her. ‘Anna, we need to talk.’
She didn’t move her arms from around him. ‘Oh, come on. You’re not still sulking about me saying we were going out, are you?’
‘No.’ He gently moved her arms off him.
‘And you know I don’t mind that you fell asleep during the film.’
‘I know.’
‘So, what do we need to talk about?’
He looked down at her sparkling eyes. ‘I can’t do this,’ he said, and took a step back. ‘It’s been fun, Anna. You’re a really great person, but I don’t do relationships. And we’re becoming … a relationship.’
Anna’s gaze slid down from his face to his hands and back again. ‘No,’ she said. ‘That’s not what this is about.’ Her eyes met his again. He was relieved to see there was no anger in them. ‘You’re dumping me because you’re in love with Beth.’
Hibs started. He had not been expecting that. ‘What?’
Anna smiled. ‘Oh come on, Hibs. It’s pretty obvious. The way you look at her … any idiot can tell how you feel about her.’
‘Really?’ And he’d thought he was hiding it so well.
‘Actually, not any idiot. Beth can’t.’ Anna backed away from him and sat down. ‘So, what happens now?’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. He genuinely was sorry to part company with Anna, but there was no other way. He was never going to be able to get the sight of Beth out of his mind now. To carry on sleeping with Anna would just be wrong.
Anna waved his apology away. ‘No need. It’s not like I didn’t know. I wasn’t after a relationship anyway.’
‘But you said we were a couple.’
‘That was for Gordon’s benefit. I didn’t expect it to freak you out like that.’
‘Oh.’
There was silence for a minute. ‘Anna,’ he said. ‘How long have you known?’
‘Since that night in the pub, when Gordon came back.’ She kicked off her shoes and put her feet up on another chair.
‘But you still …’
‘Came on to you? Of course I did. I fancied you. I took my chance when I saw it.’ She looked up and grinned. ‘You’re not the only one who’s a promiscuous hussy.’
Hibs smiled back. ‘No, I guess I’m not.’ He put his hands in his pockets. ‘I guess I’ll be seeing you, then.’
The next morning, when Beth and Gordon went into the kitchen for breakfast, the Pluto T-shirt was carefully folded on the table. Gordon swept it into the recycling bin before he sat down for his coffee. Beth said nothing. But when Gordon had left for work, she fished the T-shirt out of the bin and hid it under her mattress. She wasn’t sure when she was going to wear it again or even why she’d hidden it, but she did it anyway. She would rationalise it later, when she had time.
Chapter Seventeen
Hibs was late coming into work, which was unusual. Beth was glad. Despite Gordon’s assurances, she was sure Hibs must have seen her last night. The very idea made her face flare. It was wrong on so many levels. He was her friend, her colleague. It really shouldn’t have happened. Gordon had meant it as a playful gesture and he had obviously found it arousing, but it was just so embarrassing.
‘What’s the matter with you today?’ Vik said.
‘Huh?’
Vik had been leaning on her lab bench, telling her something about a girl. She realised she hadn’t heard most of it.
‘I’m sorry, Vik. I was miles away. You were saying … about your friend.’
He sighed. ‘It doesn’t matter. It wasn’t that interesting anyway.’ He plonked himself on Hibs’s stool. ‘Are you okay? You’ve been kinda spaced out since you got here.’
‘I’m fine. I guess the broken sleep every other night is just getting to me.’ She rubbed her eyes. It was true: she was starting to fall asleep when she was with Gordon, which she knew annoyed him.
‘How many more have you got to do?’
‘A few more sets. So, another couple of weeks. Assuming nothing goes wrong.’
Vik glanced at the clock. ‘Where’s Hibs today? I wonder if Anna’s detained him.’
Again, that acid twist in her stomach. She really had to get over it. She had Gordon and she didn’t want anyone else. So why this fixation with Hibs’s love life?
‘Maybe,’ she said, and turned back to her work.
Footsteps approached. Both Vik and Beth peered through the lab benches to watch Hibs stomp into the dry end of the lab and hang up his jacket.
‘Afternoon,’ Vik said. ‘Did you sleep in?’
‘Yes, thanks.’
Beth couldn’t see Hibs as he sat down at his computer, but she could hear the ragged edge in his voice. She looked at Vik.
‘Something’s up,’ Vik whispered. ‘Come on.’ He slid off the stool and walked across the lab. Halfway there, he turned and looked at Beth, gesturing with his head that she should come with him.
Oh well. She had to face him sometime. Beth sighed and followed.
Hibs was slumped so far down in his chair that he was practically lying down. There were blue shadows under his eyes and his lips were clamped so tightly that they were turned down at the corners.
‘You look awful,’ Vik said. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing. I’m fine.’ He didn’t look up.
‘Rough night? How was the cinema?’
‘Dark.’ He still wasn’t looking up.
Vik looked at Beth for assistance. She shrugged. Even she was worried now. She’d expected things to be awkward after last night, but she hadn’t expected belligerence.
Hibs swore at the computer. ‘What does this thing run on? Goblins? Twentieth-century piece of crap. I need coffee.’ He stood up, passed Beth without looking at her and stomped off down the corridor.
‘Oookay,’ said Vik. ‘That was weird.’
‘I’m sure he’ll tell us when he’s ready,’ Beth said. She wasn’t sure what was going on, but she didn’t really want to prod Hibs when he was in a bad mood. He seemed to be in a bad mood a lot these days. Perhaps Anna wasn’t all that good for him. ‘I’m going back to work.’
She returned to her bench, still thinking. Anna was the sort of person who knew what she wanted and didn’t hesitate to go get it. Just look at the way she got Hibs to go to the cinema the night before. Hibs was terrified of commitment. What if Hibs and Anna had fallen out? It was her fault that he and Anna had been introduced in the first place. She had been so worried about how Anna would fare with Hibs that she hadn’t thought Hibs might get hurt. Damn. She’d known from the start there would be trouble if those two got together.
Hibs pulled out his notebook and stared at his plan for the day without actually noting any of it. He hadn’t slept much. The whole episode with Beth and Gordo
n had played over and over in his mind. It was Gordon’s smile that bothered him. Gordon had wanted him to see Beth topless. He knew Beth well enough to know that she would be mortified, and if he knew that, Gordon must know it too. So why would Gordon want Beth to feel humiliated?
Or was Gordon trying to prove a point to Hibs? If Anna knew how he felt about Beth, it wasn’t a huge leap to think that Gordon might have sussed it too.
Hibs took a gulp of hot coffee and winced as it hit his throat. Either Gordon was playing a power game with Beth or trying to force Hibs to look at what he was missing. Either way, he wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. What happened last night was only a problem if Hibs had seen it. He would just deny seeing anything. He took another, more cautious sip of coffee and sighed. She had a boyfriend. Out of bounds. He would just have to live with it.
Beth had finished setting up her experiment by the time Hibs came back. She tensed as he walked behind her and scraped his wooden stool along the floor to the bench. She glanced over her shoulder: he wasn’t looking at her.
They worked in silence for a bit and Beth could feel the tension thrumming in the air. She couldn’t put up with this much longer.
‘Do you want to see last night’s results?’ She turned to him.
Hibs looked startled. ‘I … yes. Are they any good?’ He wasn’t making eye contact with her.
She passed across the graphs she’d printed out earlier. ‘The pictures are on the computer.’
He took the paper, still not quite looking at her. This was awful. She had to say something: this awkwardness couldn’t go on for ever.
‘Hibs.’
‘Hmm?’
Just the thought of what had happened made her feel all hot. She really, really hoped that Gordon was wrong and Hibs hadn’t seen her running around half naked. ‘About last night …’
‘Uh huh.’
‘I’m sorry about what happened. Gordon—’
He put his hand up to stop her. ‘What you and Gordon get up to is none of my business.’
‘I know, but … well, you and Anna …’ She sighed. She was making a hash of this. Just get on with it, Beth. She took a deep breath. ‘I don’t know how much you saw. I’m so embarrassed.’
There was a pause. Biting her lip, she raised her eyes. He was frowning at his feet.
‘I don’t want things to get weird,’ said Beth.
Hibs finally looked at her. ‘I don’t either,’ he said. ‘Don’t worry. I didn’t … I got in just as you disappeared. Anna saw— told me what happened.’
Oh thank goodness. Beth felt as though a cloud had lifted. At least she could look him in the face without cringing with embarrassment. ‘That’s great.’ She smiled at him. ‘I’m glad we’ve got that out of the way.’
He didn’t smile back. ‘Actually, there’s something else I need to talk to you about.’
‘What?’
‘Anna and I have split up.’
Ah. The cloud lifted further. ‘That’s …’ She paused in case the word ‘great’ slipped out again. Maybe that’s why he was so grumpy this morning. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yeah.’
He didn’t sound okay. Beth had seen Hibs break up with more women than she could remember and she had never, ever seen him look so rough. ‘Sure?’
His mouth was still set in a hard line. ‘Positive.’ He stood up and, grabbing a pair of gloves, strode off in the direction of the cold room.
Beth stared after him until Vik appeared as though from nowhere. ‘So that’s what’s bothering him.’
‘Where did you come from?’
‘I was lurking over there, by the nitrogen cylinders,’ said Vik. ‘I figured he might tell you what’s wrong.’
‘Is nothing sacred?’
‘Not really.’ Vik grinned. ‘Does it matter?’
‘I suppose not.’ They both looked to the door, where Hibs had disappeared.
‘He must have really liked her,’ Beth said. ‘I’ve never seen him upset about a girl before.’
‘Maybe he’s finally fallen in love.’
Beth felt something prickle in her chest.
Chapter Eighteen
Beth spun her office chair round in a celebratory pirouette and hit print. She now had half of the data sets she needed to show that her hypothesis was right. Ideally, she’d wait until she had all the data before she took it to Roger, but his talk was just over a week away and he would need to change his slides. She retrieved the graphs from the printer and leafed through them. There should be enough to convince Roger.
‘Hibs?’ She turned to him. ‘Can you have a quick look at these, please?’
She thrust the papers towards him. He took them and looked through, frowning. After a minute or two, his frown cleared up. ‘Hey, these look pretty good. You need another data set, to be sure, but otherwise, pretty good.’ He gave the papers back to her and smiled. It was the first smile she’d seen in a while. ‘Well done, Beth. Good call.’
Beth felt a small glow in her chest from his praise. When it came to science, Hibs didn’t throw his compliments around. If he felt it was a good call, it was a good call.
‘I was going to show Roger,’ she said. ‘So that he’s got time to put it in his slides.’
‘Do that.’ Hibs paused. ‘Good luck.’
Still warm from being praised, Beth rapped on Roger’s door. He was sitting at his desk, reading.
He looked up, over the top of his reading glasses. ‘Yes?’
‘Do you have a couple of minutes to discuss some results?’
He perked up with interest. ‘Is that the experiment I told you to repeat?’ He held out his hand to take her papers.
‘No—’
He retracted his hand before Beth could push the documents into it. ‘Why not? I told you to do it weeks ago.’
‘I’m doing that. This is the other idea I mentioned. I’ve made some GFP-tagged mutants—’
Roger frowned. ‘I didn’t tell you to do that. You should have been doing what I explicitly requested.’
‘I am doing what you explicitly requested … as well as this.’ This conversation was not going as she imagined. She was here to show him her data, but instead they were arguing over something completely irrelevant. Why did this always happen when she tried to talk to Roger? Hibs never had this problem. She took a deep breath. ‘Please can you just look at them?’ She shoved the papers into his hand. ‘I’ve been tracking the protein localisation as the cell grows. When you look here’—she pointed to one of the photos—‘it’s obvious that my protein helps hold the other two together—’
Roger gave them the barest glance and then shoved the papers back at her. ‘There’s not enough data here.’
‘Yes, but—’
‘Come back when you have enough data.’ Roger turned back to his reading. ‘And get me those repeat results I asked for.’
Anger boiled inside Beth and her hands began to shake. He was being an arrogant pig. She opened her mouth to argue.
But what if he’s right? The thought pricked the hot bubble of righteous anger. Roger knew more about this stuff than she did.
He looked up. ‘Are you still here?’
Beth spun round and walked out.
Hibs looked up when Beth came in and shouted, ‘Aaaaargh,’ through her teeth. She held the graphs she had just shown him crumpled in a fist and her teeth were clamped so tightly the sinews on her neck stood out. He felt sorry for her: Roger could be brutal.
‘Didn’t go well then?’
‘Ugh.’ She threw herself into her chair. He gave her a moment to calm down. When her breathing had slowed, he asked, ‘What did he say?’
‘He said I was wrong and I should get on with the repeat experiments.’
Even from a
few feet away, he could see the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. Damn. He never knew what to do when girls cried. He always felt he should do something to help. He could go talk to Roger … but then Beth would never get over this inferiority complex she had. ‘So, are you going to?’
She stared into space, her graphs still in her fist, and chewed her lip.
Hibs watched her and willed her not to cry. Come on, Beth. Find some faith in yourself. Don’t let Roger keep kicking you. Fight. She stopped biting her lip and looked at her fistful of paper.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘But I’m also going to finish this data set and show him that I’m right. I know I’m right.’
Atta girl. He wanted to go and clap her on the back or give her a hug or something. Beth had been bullied by men all her life: her father, her boyfriend and now Roger. It had taken a lot for her to even think about defying Roger’s authority. It was a small step, but at least it was in the right direction. If she could learn to take one little step at time, maybe she’d finally realise that she didn’t need Gordon. Or anyone, for that matter. But especially not Gordon.
She looked up at him. ‘You think I’m right, don’t you?’
Her lip was all red from being chewed. Hibs realised he was staring at it. He tore his eyes away. ‘I do indeed,’ he said. ‘A good choice. We’ll get it all done in time, don’t worry.’
She smoothed the papers out on the desk. ‘Yeah. We will.’ She reached across and put her hand on his arm. ‘Thanks, Hibs.’
Her hand felt smooth and warm and he had to resist the urge to turn it over and hold it. ‘You’re welcome,’ he said. When she removed her hand, he waited until he’d walked round the corner before he placed his own hand over the warm afterglow.
Hibs arranged to meet Vik for a drink after work. When he got to the pub he was surprised to find Beth standing at the bar. She hadn’t been out with them since Gordon caught her in the pub when she was meant to be in the lab. He grinned at her. ‘Evening, stranger.’