by Nikki Lewen
Sometimes, Anna has good days, especially ones spent in the garden. She loves all aspects of growing, planting, and harvesting. It was her family’s livelihood and it’s amazing how much there is to learn from Clara. The old woman’s a master and it’ll take years for Anna to absorb it all. Today, the young girl works alongside Clara, cleaning out the old hen house and coop. It’s been neglected since the earthquakes, and seeing it in disrepair always bothers the old woman. She misses the chickens, but more than anything, she misses her morning eggs. As they work, Clara talks away, but Anna’s barely present.
“Anna…” there’s a long pause, “Anna...” then a longer one. “Anna…did you hear my question dear?” On the third attempt, Clara finally gets the girl’s attention.
Anna, totally lost, didn’t catch a thing. Looking at Clara, she shakes her head no, and the old woman tries again.
“I asked if you’ve ever had eggs.”
While nodding yes, tears slowly fall down Anna’s cheeks. She attempts to speak, but it takes a great deal of effort. “We-we…ha-ha-had chick-ens.” She wipes away the tears, as anger emanates from her eyes.
The change sends a chill down Clara’s spine.
“Those men! Those…Splitters! They killed ’em…and ate ’em. All of ’em! They’re all gone!” The tears return, this time uncontrollably, as Anna slouches to the ground.
Heartbroken, Clara’s at her side, swaying the limp and weeping girl back and forth. They sit for some time until Anna’s voice returns. She tells Clara all about her chickens, their names, and the number of eggs she collected each day. Upset they’re gone, Anna knows—she’ll never have them again.
As the women stand, Clara hears movement. Her reactions, recently changed, have her grabbing a shotgun leaning nearby and standing between Anna and the sound’s direction. Moving them behind the hen house, the old woman scans the area, attempting to pinpoint the disturbance. Anna’s nerves aren’t handling the suspense, and she’s trembling in near panic.
Clara glances at the girl and whispers, trying to ease her anxiety, “Anna…it’s okay. It’s probably just a deer.”
Before Clara can tell for sure, they hear a faint whistle. When it occurs again, both ladies strain to listen, making sure they heard correctly. Anna responds in kind and seeing her react accordingly, reassures Clara. Lowering the gun, she’s proud of Anna regaining her senses, and she squeezes the girl’s shoulder. Together, they step out from cover, greeting their unexpected guests, excited by the surprise. It’s even more of a surprise when they see Jose following Sadie. Clara and Anna walk towards them as Sadie and Jose make their final descent into the canyon. When they reach each other, Clara wraps herself around Sadie, kissing both of the woman’s cheeks.
“It’s so nice to see you, dear. And,” pulling away, she looks to Jose, “you’ve brought more company!”
Jose reaches out a hand to introduce himself, but Clara grabs him.
“Around here, we say hello with hugs,” she says, in her grandmotherly fashion.
Jose, caught off guard by the old woman’s actions, simply relaxes into it and responds politely, “Yes, ma’am.”
Clara steps back with a loving smile. “Oh…a good looker, and polite as well.”
Jose, embarrassed by the compliments, blushes, losing his nerve to say hello to Anna. She’s standing next to Sadie, who has an arm around the girl. The kids remain quiet while the adults chatter away. Noticing the youngsters have grown shy, and wanting to talk a little more privately, Clara finds a way to send them off. She asks Anna to show Jose the orchard and pick another basket of fruit. When they depart, Sadie inquires about the shotgun since it’s the first time she’s seen the old woman carry it.
“The girl’s changin’ me,” Clara shrugs, explaining, “I’ve grown protective and…in all the years I lived alone…I’ve never experienced fear. But now…I just want to make sure she’s safe.”
Sadie understands; it’s not just Clara, she’s been changing, too. As they move towards the house, the old woman updates Sadie on how Anna’s doing, the progress she’s made, and what struggles still exist. Sadie absorbs all the details, asking a few questions. Meanwhile, walking up the orchard trail, the kids have yet to speak. Each considers things to say, but neither can find a way to begin. Reaching the orchard, Anna leads them to the correct trees and picks a piece of fruit, offering it to Jose.
“You ever had a persimmon?” she asks, softly.
Jose motions no, looks over the strange orange fruit, and takes a bite. The skin is a little tough, but the meat inside is delicious. He’s surprised by how tasty it is and takes a few more bites. He stops, noticing Anna smiling.
Jose swallows, wipes his mouth, and finally speaks, “Mmmm ’s good.” It’s all he manages to say, feeling like an idiot. Anna’s giggles relax Jose, allowing him to make another attempt. “You know… they sent us here…so they could talk…in private…probably ’bout us,” he says, before taking the last bite.
“Yeah…I figured as much.” Anna responds, while picking more persimmons.
She shows Jose how to tell which pieces are ripe, and together they fill the basket. Jose, not too confident, attempts to tell Anna more. He flusters and stumbles like a fool, but recovers, and gradually shares with Anna all the work he’s done at her place and on the boat. While talking, Anna begins to see Jose in an entirely new light.
He doesn’t share everything he’s been thinking or practiced to say. Partly, it’s because he’s not sure, and some things, Sadie asked him to wait on, especially information concerning the fuel. She wants to discuss it with Anna first and he agreed. Occasionally, Anna asks a question, but mainly she just listens and when he runs out of updates, the silence returns.
Heading back to the house, Jose asks Anna what’s she’s been up to. His attempt is successful, and the girl begins talking at length about the garden and all the things Clara’s place has to offer. Sitting on the porch, the two women look up from their conversation, and Clara, taking the basket, brags about how helpful Anna’s been. A second set of hands has really made a difference, and they’ve accomplished much. The warmth on Anna’s cheeks spreads, especially since Jose’s watching. Noticing the girl’s embarrassment and knowing Sadie and Jose will leave early in the morning, Clara shifts the conversation.
“Alright,” the old woman says, matter-of-factly, “Jose, you come with me.” She drapes an arm over his shoulder. It’s comforting and oddly familiar for the boy, as she leads him towards the door. Looking over a shoulder, Clara addresses the girls. “You two stay out here and catch up. I’ll call ya when dinner’s ready.”
Inside, Jose’s blown away! He examines everything and asks detailed and thorough questions. Clara never tires answering all he asks while busy preparing a meal. Outside, the mood isn’t as joyful. Sadie and Anna’s discussion started rather simply, but quickly turned serious. Sadie knows the girl’s been struggling and talking about her parents isn’t helping. Anna, shocked by Jose’s fuel discovery, is confused, angry, and upset at finding out this way. She can’t believe she wasn’t told and even worse, feels foolish for failing to notice its existence. The more Anna thinks about it, the more sense it makes. The quads always had gas, and she recalls her dad leaving the shed once with a full can. She hadn’t said anything at the time, and never thought about asking why it was there.
“Why? Why…didn’t they tell me?” Anna asks, as tears fall.
Sadie’s thought about possible reasons and shares what she honestly believes. “I think they meant to protect you.”
Anna stares, not knowing what to think.
“Anna…having gas…is rare and…dangerous. People fight…and kill for it. Especially…” she pauses, before continuing, “the Nation. I think your parents hid it so no one would know it was there…or be able to find it. Not telling you, and barely usin’ it, was a way to keep the family safe.” Sadie hopes her words ease the girl’s worries.
Anna understands, but still, it hurts. It’s anothe
r thing she’ll never know for sure or ever be able to ask. She misses her mom and dad, and knowing she’ll never see them again, her tears reappear. Sadie needs to discuss a lot more with the girl, but she’s not sure Anna’s ready. The youngster looks at Sadie, sensing her hesitation, gains control, wipes her face dry, and asks Sadie what else she should know. Sadie, encouraged by the girl’s sense of duty, decides to share what she’s planning.
It starts with the good news about the tractor and all the different ways it can be used around the homestead. Sadie talks about creating easier routes of travel between their places making checking in and moving supplies a lot easier, especially, with the quads. Also, there’s hope of making the ship safer to board and the need to keep the harbor protected. If they ever need to evacuate, a well-supplied and fueled boat is their only option.
As Sadie speaks, Anna listens intently, nodding the entire time. The girl’s amazed at how prepared and well thought out everything is with Sadie. It reminds Anna of how little she’s actually capable of and how many things she’s failed to put thought into. Embarrassed by her naivety and realizing if it wasn’t for Sadie and Clara, she’d be completely lost, or—dead, or—worse—a chill runs through Anna.
“Sadie,” she interjects mid-sentence, “you know better than I do, you’re smart…you know how to keep us safe, and…I trust you…completely.” Anna doesn’t wait for any type of response, but continues speaking her train of thought. “Whatever you think…do it. Use the tractor however you think best, build whatever the boat and harbor needs, and…take all the gas. I don’t need it.”
“Thank you,” Sadie lays a hand on Anna’s knee, “thank you for your trust. It means a lot.” She gently lifts the girl’s chin, making eye contact, ensuring Anna understands the sincerity of her next words. “The work around your home will help keep us safe…and connected, but…it will always be…your home. Remember that. It’s not always gonna be this way.”
Anna, understanding, nods her head.
Sadie goes on, “As for the gas…thank you, but…a day may come when you’ll find a need. Don’t be so quick to think you’ll never use it…always plan ahead. You never know what tomorrow brings…” she pauses, smiling at the girl, “in the meantime…we’ll use only what’s absolutely required.”
Anna hugs Sadie as Clara opens the door. Smiling at them, she announces dinner, giving them another few moments alone. Sadie briefly updates Anna on Jose’s work and brags about what he’s contributing. Anna’s already heard most of it and tells Sadie so. The woman smiles—glad the youngsters have talked—and shifts the focus to the Intrepid II and Jose’s list of missing materials. Sadie tells Anna how important it is to get what’s needed in order to keep it ready and supplied, then, she pulls out the list, leans a little closer, and talks softly.
“The first item…” she pauses, keeping Anna curious, “and the most important thing…is fuel. Jose didn’t think it was possible…and then…he found your tankers!” Sadie pauses again, quiets back down, and barely speaks above a whisper. “But…he won’t use it.”
Anna’s face scrunches up.
“He won’t use it…unless…you say it’s okay,” Sadie clarifies.
The girl’s face brightens up.
“Before we leave, it would…mean…a lot…if you told him.” Sadie lets the words sink in and then continues, “He didn’t say anything earlier because I asked him not to. He’s waiting for me, but…I won’t tell him. I’ll let you…okay?”
Anna attentively nods yes. It’s exciting being able to say thanks with a gift, but it’s unsettling having the responsibility of communicating it directly to Jose. She found herself unusually nervous speaking with him earlier, and Anna’s not sure how to go about it. However, the more she thinks about all he’s done, the more she knows it’s the right thing to do. Giving fuel for the boat, which one day could help them all, seems like such a simple thing. After all, he’s been taking care of her home and making sure it’s ready when she returns.
As the two girls enter, Anna thinks about different ways to tell Jose. Deciding to wait until after dinner, she takes a seat. It’s the first time the four of them will share a meal together, and Clara prepared a small feast. Before beginning, they grasp hands, bow heads, and give thanks. The entire time, Anna can only think about Jose. She finds herself thankful they’re sitting across from one another; otherwise, they’d be holding hands, and the thought brings a blush to her cheeks.
Everything is delicious, as always, and the kids eat heartily, barely speak, and listen while the adults talk. Anna gets up first, puts on tea water, and starts clearing the table. Sadie and Clara sneak a glance between them, each thankful to see Anna pitching in and maturing. Before Anna can take Jose’s plate, he’s up and handing it to her. She takes it, thanks him, and distracts herself by washing the dishes. He stands nearby a little longer, unsure of what to do, before returning to his chair.
At the table, both women have their maps out examining the route Sadie and Jose used to travel to Clara’s. When Anna rejoins them, she updates her copy, while listening to Sadie talk about the details of the hike. It’s not an easy route to travel, and several sections need trail work, but they made it. Anna, glad to learn of the faster route home, doesn’t consider using it now or any time soon. Instead, she finds herself wanting to stay with Clara in the canyon. Clearly, she’s not ready to return, let alone, live on her own. Putting the map away, Anna gets up, asking everyone what type of tea they’d like. Jose, in turn, asks what kind they have, and the young girl playfully rolls her eyes.
“More than I bet you’ve ever seen,” she replies, smiling.
Anna begins listing the types, most of which he’s never heard of, and she has to check the pantry to see which ones she’s forgotten. She disappears momentarily, pokes her head back out, and lists a couple more. Sadie, seeing the boy’s uncertainty as an opportune moment, tells him to go look. When Jose joins Anna, both feel a little uncomfortable, but Anna tries covering it by showing Jose all the different jars of tea, and he, by asking something about each one.
When they’ve run out of containers, he’s still unsure and asks Anna to select one. The girl’s jitters build while she decides to talk about more than tea. It’s the perfect time, since there’re alone, and he’s leaving soon. Setting down a jar, Anna gathers courage and makes a couple attempts. Trying different approaches, she falters, and Jose, uncomfortable seeing her flustered, grows nervous with anticipation.
She takes a deep breath apologizing, “I’m sorry…I’ve…been...struggling.” Anna sits on a small footstool tucked in the corner, gathers her thoughts, and staring at the floor, continues, “I just…want to…thank you.” She looks up, almost losing focus, but finds the strength to continue. “Thank you for taking care of my home.”
“No…An-na” there’s a lump in Jose’s throat, it catches, making his voice break.” He clears his throat, knowing it’s his chance to say what he’s practiced. “No, Anna…thank you.”
Confused, she stares.
“Thank you…for…your trust. Thank you…for letting me be a part of your place. Thank you…for giving me a chance…to…change my…circumstances and…have a better life.” Growing confident, he says more. “I’ll take care…of your place for…as long as you need. I’d do…anything for you.” Embarrassed, Jose grows quiet.
Anna stands up, making the boy even more nervous, and takes a step closer. Touched by Jose’s sentiment, she hugs him. It’s quick and breaking from their embrace, neither speaks. Anna, almost forgetting what else she intended to say, regains her composure and nearly explodes.
“Oh! And…use the gas! For the boat! Take as much as you need! After all, you discovered it…I wouldn’t even of know ’bout it if it weren’t for you. Please. It’s the least I can do.”
Jose’s not sure which feels better, getting hugged by Anna or learning he can refuel the Intrepid II.
THIRTY-FOUR
Gabby’s gag tears deeper into her flesh and the c
oagulated mess at the corners of her mouth breaks open. Bound to the bed her body bounces in response to a furious rhythm. Sadie’s arm rises, and the knife plunges over and over and over. Suddenly, Sadie’s at a bathroom sink, frantically trying to clean blood off her hands and arms. Even with rubbing them vigorously and rinsing them under water, the man’s blood won’t wash away. The harder she scrubs, the worse it becomes, until she’s completely covered by the gore and everything turns to shades of red.
Looking at her reflection, a blood-spattered face stares back. Sadie’s hair shortens before her eyes, leaving dirty stubbles she can’t stop rubbing both hands over. Compulsively absorbed in its texture, she initially fails to notice the ashes raining down as red fades to black. Brushing them off a shoulder, Sadie discovers she’s wearing an oversized flak jacket. It weighs her down, growing constantly heavier, until she’s unable to move.
Closing her eyes, she wills her body to respond. Opening them, Sadie finds herself outside the barn, holding a huge chainsaw and pulling the cord over and over, but it won’t start. Panic sets in, and things turn frantic. She’s can’t get him out, and looking at his twitching leg, she attempts again, and again, and again.
Both eyes fill with sweat and tears as Sadie’s vision blurs. Wiping them with a sleeve, she catches a glimpse of several Splitters running through the woods. They’re chasing something. No, they’re chasing someone. It’s a girl. It’s Anna! Sadie takes off at a sprint, trying to catch them. They gain on Anna, but Sadie isn’t making much progress. Her body continues to slow, no matter how hard she tries. Frustrated, scared, and unable to catch up, Sadie’s fear grows as Anna gets knocked to the ground. Dropping to a knee, Sadie draws her crossbow, but reaching over her shoulder, she can’t grab an arrow. After several attempts, she tears the quiver off her back, only to find it empty. Then, Anna screams.
Feverish and unsure of her surroundings, Sadie wakes drenched in sweat accompanied by a pounding heartbeat. Unable to shake the haunting images or fall back to sleep, she feels about, searching for the light, knocking things over on the nightstand. Fumbling about, she flips the switch back and forth without success. Disappointed by leaving it on, which drained the battery, Sadie sits up to re-charge the light.