by Nikki Lewen
The movement leaves her light-headed and placing a hand to her forehead, Sadie discovers what she already knows—she’s burning up with a fever. Leaning back against the wall, she slowly peers around the room’s surroundings. Even though she’s been sleeping in Anna’s bedroom, she hasn’t taken the time to examine all its intimate details. Her feeble state matches her demeanor as Sadie scans everything over.
The furniture is depressive. It’s infantile and grossly inadequate, even with the modifications made so it can be usable for an older child. A worn changing table, partnered with an upended log round for a seat, is set up as a desk. The dresser’s been repainted and raised to add a makeshift third drawer, and hints of the original baby pattern exist around each of the tiny knobs serving as handles. They’re pink, daisy shaped, and match nothing else in the room.
The vanity mirror, sitting on top of the dresser is cracked, reflecting only a partial image of Sadie from her chin down, but she stares anyway. The ache behind her eyes, accompanied with a need to quench an extreme thirst, finally snaps Sadie out of her daze. She mechanically turns toward the nightstand, made of stacked milk crates, looking for her water bottle. It’s been knocked to the floor, and it’s a strain to see it, let alone reach it. Leaning over the beds edge, Sadie grabs the bottle, while pushing aside a large handkerchief that’s used as a tablecloth. The material dangles well beyond the top crate’s edges and partially covers the container’s opening, faced forward, which doubles as a storage shelf.
From inside the space, Sadie removes a small, thin photo album with a cover that frames the first picture. It’s Anna as a toddler, sitting in a tub full of bubbles, with her mother kneeling alongside. A fluffy white patch covers Anna’s nose and both she and her mom are frozen in the perpetual happiness of laughter. Her mother’s sleeves are rolled to the elbows, and suds drip from her forearms.
Clambering back to a seated position, Sadie carefully turns each page, finding all the pictures are of Anna as a baby or toddler with her parents. Setting it aside, she drinks the last mouthful of water and needing more, she swings her feet to the floor. Steadying herself while standing, Sadie shuffles into the kitchen, refills the bottle, and collapses on the couch, where Jose finds her hours later.
She stirs hearing him and attempts getting up, but Jose tells Sadie to stay and rest. He’ll cover the morning patrol and continue their work. The two of them have been toiling away since returning from Clara’s and they’ve made staggering progress with the tractor. Sadie relinquishes quickly and curls back up on the couch. All the demands she’s placed on her body have finally caught up. Aching with fever pains, she struggles finding a comfortable position and pulling the blanket tight, shivers run through her body. When Sadie next opens her eyes, she finds Jose setting a bowl of oatmeal nearby.
“Sorry to wake you. Here’s some food…and more water.”
“Thanks,” she barely squeaks, clambering to sit up.
Sadie takes a drink, and eats slowly, as each bite takes too much effort to swallow. Halfway through, she sets it down, rolls over, and goes back to sleep.
* * *
Sadie’s being chased through an orchard. The footsteps behind her are getting closer, when an old barn comes into view. She dashes in, shuts the door, and scrambles to barricade the entrance. Spinning around for something more, Sadie smacks into a dangling pair of legs. Falling backwards, she’s horrified to see whom they belong to. As the body sways back and forth, she scuttles in reverse along the ground, using her hands for support.
In a panic and failing to pay attention, Sadie falls through an opened door and tumbles hard into the dirt. It’s dark, but burning bodies, dropping from the windows of a building that appears above her, illuminate the area. Each lands with a stomach-wrenching thud. One hits nearby, and she’s horrified watching it wither in agony. Melting flesh drips off in lumps, leaving sections of bare bones exposed as the flaming piles bubble and sizzle. Another falling body spreads flaming chucks everywhere and pieces land on Sadie, searing into her neck and chest.
Bolting upright, she rips away the blanket bunched near her face and repeatedly swipes both hands over the area before coming to her senses. Sadie’s emotions are running rampant and the fear and horror that chased her about still linger. Her anxiety filled dreams serve as a reminder of her psyche’s delicate state. She’s trying to do too much and all the physical demands, accompanied by layers of psychological trauma endured over the years, have simply worn her down.
Sadie’s felt a growing unease ever since finding the dead Splitters Caleb managed to kill, and the return of these terrible men is something she’s feared and hoped to avoid. Their presence stirs up disturbing images, thoughts, and memories that Sadie’s struggled with for years, and it’s all on the forefront of her mind; only difference, is now, there’s more than just her safety at risk.
Drenched from the fever-induced sweat, Sadie gets up, strips away her damp clothing, wipes her body down, and changes into clean clothes. Feeling slightly better, she returns to the couch only to grab the water and what’s left of the oatmeal. She finishes them both and takes the dirty bowl into the kitchen. Still feeling fatigued and tired from the little bit of movement, she lies back down.
The next morning, Sadie wakes thirsty, and is surprised to find she slept through the entire night. Even Jose coming in for the evening didn’t wake her, and the bowl of food sitting nearby is the only indication of his presence. Amazed, Sadie realizes how deep her slumber was, and then, how hungry she feels. Eating the cold beans and rice and happy her appetite’s returning, Sadie hears the boy enter.
Seeing her eating, he smiles. “You look better.”
Sadie swallows the last mouthful before responding. “I think my fever broke.”
She finishes the water and still feeling weak, gets up carefully. Heading into the kitchen, they sit together at the table. Jose’s already completed the morning patrol and excitedly fills her in on the progress with the tractor. Yesterday, his roadwork reached the helicopter clearing and he hopes to complete what’s left to do within the next couple of days. When it’s done, they’ll have drivable routes to both it and the Memorial Camp.
After a short discussion, Jose leaves, fuels the quad, and loads it with the materials Sadie requested. When it’s ready, he drives back to the house to get her, and together, they head out. Jose’s done a nice job, and Sadie praises his work. They park in a newly cleared section under several redwoods and walk the circumference of the space that’s been carefully worked just as Sadie directed. Two stacks of scavenged logs are neatly piled and several mounds of stones sit equally spaced apart from one another.
The freshly prepped soil, log piles, and stones are all hidden under the cover of the giant trees so none of it is visible from above. The original meadow wasn’t expanded, but with the fallen trees dragged aside, it feels bigger. Walking its perimeter, Sadie points out various locales, explains the plans for each and what projects should be started first. Several times, they stop to sketch various designs, verifying each other’s comprehension of what’s intended.
Even though they’re planning a few structures, what’s more important is figuring out how to defend the area. This particular location is a major stressor for Sadie. She’s been trying to manage her constant worry ever since learning of their vulnerability from the air. When Caleb and his buddy arrived, they came in completely undetected, making Sadie realize, that anyone, at any time, could land on the island. She pushes away the horrible thoughts of an aerial invasion and returns to focusing on the positive progress they’ve made.
Sadie has a timeline, but a lot depends on when, and if, the helicopter returns, as planned, for Caleb. Thinking of him, reminds her once again of the Splitter’s cruelty, and an image of the tortured body she found surfaces. She works to dismiss the mental picture as they head towards the small field. Reaching the relocated logs, they shift their focus to what supplies Sadie wants brought up here first and where they’ll be stored or
hidden.
As they continue planning, the two walk around again. This time, they circle deeper through the woods, spiraling out in a larger and larger search pattern. Sadie wants to examine as much ground as possible, but grows weary, still weak from being sick. After another hour of exploring, they turn back to the clearing, start the quad, and begin the drive back to the homestead.
Early the next day, both are up handling their share of the responsibilities and preparing for what lies ahead. By mid-morning they’re in the clearing and working hard. Sadie still doesn’t feel one hundred percent, but knowing it’ll make things go faster, she works through it. Afterwards they head out and, by the time they arrive at the Memorial Camp, she’s exhausted.
It’s a turbulent night, as once again, Sadie’s haunted by her dreams. The last nightmare leaves her in a state of unease that lasts throughout the rest of the day while they hike. Nearing the cave, Sadie suddenly drops to a crouch and draws her bow. At first, Jose’s unsure of what she’s heard, but then, the distinct sound of crunching reaches his ears. Whatever it is, it’s loud and moving toward them. Sadie signals, they sneak behind an old burnt-out redwood stump and wait. Forcing patience, she shifts to a better position and sites an arrow. Jose, peering from around the opposite side, also takes aim as his heart races.
He’ll follow Sadie’s lead and only shoot if instructed or she misses. He takes several deep breaths, controlling his fear. The approaching noise is nearly upon them when he gets a glimpse of a figure. This time, his heart skips a beat; it’s not an animal. As he begins lining up his rifle’s site trying to get a better view, Sadie stops him, and with a lowered bow, she signals silence. When the figure looms close enough to hear breathing, Sadie steps from behind their cover.
“Hello, Caleb,” Sadie says, without a hint of emotion.
“Wha d’yah doin’ here!?” Jose says, flabbergasted and overcome with joy.
Sadie, not quite echoing the boy’s excitement, repeats the question. “Yeah…what are ya doin’ here?”
Caleb looks from Jose’s to Sadie’s eyes when finally answering, “You were gone too long…I thought somethin’ might have happened.” Embarrassed, he looks back to Jose. “I expected you two back…a while ago…or at least…a few days ago…” he trails off, swallows, and then continues, “I just started patrolling…I’m…building my stamina. If another week passed, I planned to come lookin’…and…I needed to make sure my body was ready…just in case…I had to hike that far.” Looking pathetic, he adds one last thing, “I…had to.”
Sadie doesn’t respond. Instead, she takes a long drink while Jose and Caleb wait in anticipation of what she’ll say. They never expected what follows.
“Alright…you two finish the patrol. I’m heading in.” Sadie hikes off towards the cave before the boys get a chance to respond.
They watch in disbelief as she disappears.
Jose speaks first. “She’s been sick.”
Caleb inquires about it and the two men talk nonstop, filling each other in since they were last together, but as they near the cave and enter, they grow quiet, since Sadie’s already in bed. In the morning, Sadie wakes to find both men up and already eating, with their packs set near the door. Sadie finishes packing hers and puts it in line with the others. Taking the cup of tea that’s offered, Sadie sits down and grabs a bowl of oatmeal. It’s early and cold, but with each swallow, the hot tea and food warms her. Finishing breakfast, Sadie inquiries about the morning patrol, and Jose answers.
“I thought I’d do it…before we left.” He sneaks a quick glance at Caleb and then continues, “Sooo…I’ll go…and…you two…can…talk.” Jose gets up and grabs his gear. “I’ll be back in a bit,” he says, leaving without waiting for any response.
As the boy disappears, Caleb speaks. “When you and Jose leave…for…your place…I’d like to come along.”
Sadie eyes shift from the loaded packs back to the man sitting across from her. Finding themselves alone, both sit uneasily, not sure what to say or how to even begin. There’s too much history between them and the level of intimacy they’ll need to share—to really clear the air—is more than Sadie wants to contemplate. She’s tired and doesn’t want to spend the morning wasting any energy arguing, whether about the past or what lies ahead.
She pours another cup of tea, leans back, and stretches out. Looking at Caleb, her mood softens a little further. He’s been beaten, forced to watch the torture of his friend, almost died, and since, been confined to the cave. He looks downright miserable and when his eyes meet hers, she fights to ignore their effect.
“Okay,” she begins, “so…what…exactly…are you thinking?”
He’s a bit surprised by Sadie’s sincerity, and her warm demeanor distracts him from what he’s been preparing, but he gathers his thoughts and answers her nonetheless. “My ribs didn’t re-injure as bad as we thought. They still hurt…all kinds, but…they’re healing…and…I can move better. Besides less pain, I’m able to walk…much further.” He swallows and speaks with brutal honesty. “Sadie, I gotta get out of here…at least for a few days…I need…the distraction.” His eyes can’t hide the torment he feels. “I don’t…I’m not…” he pauses taking a deep breath, “between my dreams and thoughts…I’m…a mess.”
He runs both hands through his hair and determined to make the journey to Sadie’s, he continues, “Walking…makes me feel better. The fresh air and exercise helps. I know my endurance isn’t too great, but I know I can make it. And…I should know the route…for safety. If anything ever happens, I should have experience gettin’ from here to there.”
Sadie hasn’t said anything, but putting herself in his shoes, she understands. She gets up and looks long and hard at Caleb, which makes him feel uneasy.
“Okay,” she simply says.
Caleb, shocked, sits stunned as she cleans up from breakfast. He expected more of a fight with mention of his injuries, or even having to hear a bunch of reasons why it wouldn’t be wise. Instead, she simply agreed. When Jose returns, all their packs are still at the door and he takes it as a good sign. Before the boy even shuts the door, Sadie’s at his side, slinging her pack over a shoulder.
“Let’s get moving,” she says, exiting the cave.
Caleb winks at Jose as the two move to follow and not get left behind. Sadie isn’t too far ahead, but they hurry, excited to finally get the chance to see her place.
THIRTY-FIVE
Sadie, Jose, and Caleb hike without speaking. It’s late into the second day of their journey, and they’re nearing Sadie’s home. An extremely slow pace has been set, and Jose can’t figure out whether it’s for Caleb’s sake or if Sadie’s still not feeling well. He’s never seen her move so slowly, but he’s grateful, since Jose knows his friend’s in a considerable amount of pain. Every incline they climb is a struggle for Caleb, and the exertion, accompanied by the heavy breathing it induces, is taking its toll and he’s fallen behind.
Waiting for him and then pointing out several identifying features, Sadie directs their attention along each accessible route to her place. It’s the most she’s said all day and the boys make sure to take in every detail. When she finishes talking, they head out, anxious to arrive. After another hour, Sadie stops to make an initial visual inspection of her home, but the boys struggle detecting it. Approaching the area, it becomes clearer why.
“This…is where you live?” Jose asks, astonished and obviously dismayed.
Sadie, amused by his expression and relieved to finally be home, lets a small smile emerge. “No, not anymore. It’s where I grew up.”
Two large redwood trees crisscross over what remains of the cabin’s roof that protrudes from underneath layers of old tarps, covered thickly with years of forest debris that block much of the cabin underneath. Only one side of the structure isn’t covered, but all the windows are boarded up. Walking past the dilapidated home, Caleb inquires how long it’s been this way.
“Since…the earthquakes.” Sadie’s
smile disappears.
They hike away from the home and up a gradual slope until reaching another structure in even worse shape. It too, was crushed by a fallen tree, and it doesn’t look safe enough to enter. Sadie pushes aside a loose section of boards, climbs through, and waits for the boys to follow. Inside, it’s a disaster, and they’re careful not to bump anything in fear of the entire thing crashing down. It’s dark and dingy, and as their eyes adjust, random pieces of lumber, supporting the shed from complete collapse, become evident.
Sadie maneuvers toward the back, stops, and turns around. “When the Enders hit our coast…my husband and I came here to stay with my dad. We moved into the cabin down below and…my dad stayed out here.”
The boys, not impressed with the surroundings, and wondering why they’re there in the first place, begin to lose interest. Sadie ignores them, while uncovering a hidden lever. Using it, she opens a secret entrance, snapping Jose and Caleb’s curiosity back, and they stand, staring with mouths wide open. Stepping inside, Sadie switches on a small light so the boys can see as they follow. She closes the door and shows them how to secure it before heading on to the next, at the opposite end of a short tunnel dug directly into the earth behind the shed. Opening this entrance, Sadie once again goes first, secures the lock once they’re inside, and then moves about checking a series of batteries and flipping switches. Suddenly, the entire place lights up. The men, even more impressed, slowly turn, taking in the bunker’s sights. Sadie gives them a moment to digest what they’re witnessing and then starts with the pertinent information.
“My dad built this place with safety in mind…and…of course…to be self-sustainable. His design, technologies, and…craftsmanship are…unique. He could do anything,” Sadie says with pride.