Ava XOX

by Carol Weston

  Question: Why should you never use a dull pencil?

  Answer: Because it’s pointless.

  H-O-H-O-H-O-H

  AVA, AWAKE

  PS I can’t believe I’m still awake. Am I nervous about the party? Is my crush pointless?

  2/14

  VALENTINE’S DAY MORNING

  DEAR DIARY,

  Maybelle’s mom picked her up early, so I hung out in the kitchen with Dad, and we made heart-shaped pancakes while Mom and Pip slept in. I framed each stack with sliced strawberries and set the table with red cloth napkins. Dad sizzled eight strips of bacon to perfection, and I called, “Breakfast!”

  Mom came downstairs and said, “Mmm, smells good.” She was right. The kitchen smelled of bacon and maple syrup.

  Pip came down next and brought her cell phone with her. I guess she’s still hoping Ben will text back. But what if his feelings got hurt? He’s probably never written “I love you” to anyone. He was probably hoping she’d just say it back and that would be that. (Observation: when Kelli asked Chuck to go out, he didn’t leave her hanging; he said yes back, and that was that. Stupid Kelli!)

  When we were all sitting down, I looked at Mom and Dad and asked, “Do you guys love each other the same amount?”

  Mom looked startled, and Pip glared at me, but Dad put down his coffee and said, “Great question.” Then he said, “Love means different things to different people. But I think we do. Mind you, Mom likes to hold her cards close to the chest.”

  Pip looked confused and said, “H-U-H?” (Funny how my family really does spell out H-U-H when we’re talking to each other. It’s like a weird inside joke.)

  “It’s an expression,” Dad said. “If you’re playing poker and don’t want people to know if you have a royal flush—or a pair of deuces—you hold your cards close to your chest.”

  “Deuces?” I asked.

  “Twos,” Dad replied.

  “What Dad means,” Mom said, “is that I don’t go on and on as much as some people.”

  I realized that this was true. Like Dad might say, “This book is pure genius!” but Mom never would. If Mom and Dad were teachers, Dad would be a much easier grader.

  “Which of you said ‘I love you’ first?” I asked. Pip kicked me under the table. But I wasn’t talking about Ben and Pip. I was talking about Mom and Dad.

  Dad said, “That’s pretty personal, sweetie, but I’ll tell you. In college, when I was a senior and Mom was a sophomore, I told her I loved her on our third date. I meant it too. She didn’t say it back for months. I wasn’t worried though. I knew she found me irresistible!”

  He smiled at Mom, and she giggled as though they were still in college. She even tossed her napkin at Dad, which was funny. They don’t usually throw stuff at each other.

  AVA, WHO ASKED

  PS Do Chuck and Kelli like each other the same amount?

  PPS Do I like Chuck and Taco both more than they like me?

  PPPS Will Kelli’s Valentine’s Day party be awesome or awful?

  2/14

  A LITTLE LATER

  DEAR DIARY,

  Pip was working on her Spanish homework and suddenly said, “Ava, I just learned a Spanish palindrome.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “O-S-O.”

  “What does it mean?”

  She told me.

  “Bare?” I asked. “Like bare naked?”

  “No. B-E-A-R. Like bear hug.”

  “Oh,” I said.

  “Oh-so,” she said, because that’s how you pronounce oso.

  “Want to hear a bear joke?” I asked.

  “Sure,” she said but rolled her eyes to show that fifth-grade humor is beneath her.

  “What do you call a bear with no teeth?” I asked.

  “What?”

  “A gummy bear!” I said. Before she could groan, I ran into my room and grabbed her a few gummy bears.

  “Aw, thanks,” she said.

  “For Valentine’s Day,” I said.

  O-X-O (WHICH IS HUG KISS HUG)

  AVA THE SWEET

  PS I wonder what age people are supposed to be before they can give each other bear hugs.

  2/14

  4 P.M.

  DEAR DIARY,

  Pip’s cell phone rang, and she jumped and read it and smiled big-time. It was a text from Ben, and soon they were texting back and forth. Later Pip showed me what they wrote—which was lucky because otherwise I might have been tempted to sneak a peek while she was in the shower!

  He texted: “It’s OK. We can just each other.”

  She texted a pink heart emoticon.

  He texted: “PS My battery was dead and I couldn’t find the charger. Sorry!”

  She texted another pink heart.

  He texted: “What are you doing later?”

  She texted “idk” which means “I don’t know.” And then he called! And they made a plan to go skating! Today! On Valentine’s Day!

  I wonder if they will hold hands. Like whoever skates better can make sure the other one doesn’t fall? Or maybe they’ll skate and skate and not touch at all? (A rhyme!)

  I can alllllllmost picture myself skating with Chuck. But I can’t picture us holding hands.

  Kelli’s party starts in an hour. I don’t know if I’m ready for a real boy-girl party, especially at Kelli’s. And especially since, as I confessed, I Chuck a little even though I’m not supposed to.

  AVA, INAPPROPRIATE

  2/14

  RIGHT BEFORE THE PARTY

  DEAR DIARY,

  Why do I Chuck anyway? Sometimes he is gross. For example, here’s a joke he told me that I can’t get out of my head:

  Question: What do people who eat lots and lots of alphabet soup have?

  Answer: Vowel movements.

  At first I didn’t get it. Then I said, “Ewww!”

  I just told that joke to Pip and asked if she thought it was funny or disgusting. She said, “Both,” and explained that a lot of middle school boys have sick senses of humor. She said that last week, a boy in her science class said, “It’s better to be ‘pissed off’ than ‘pissed on.’”

  “Ugh!” I said, shocked by the joke and the fact that Pip knows so much about middle school boys.

  She also said, “What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?”

  “What?” I asked.

  “Anyone can roast beef,” she said.

  I said “Ewww!” again and rolled my eyes.

  Then I asked if she was still nervous about her presentation in the assembly next week. She said yes but added that she was not going to think about it on Valentine’s Day. I asked if I could borrow her pink top and she said sure.

  AVA IN PINK

  PS It’s not that I like all of Chuck’s jokes. What I like is that he picks them out just for me. Or he used to anyway.

  2/14

  VALENTINE’S DAY NIGHT

  DEAR DIARY,

  When I walked into Kelli’s big modern house, the whole place smelled like pizza. A lady in a uniform took my coat and put it in Kelli’s room, and a younger blond lady said, “Come in! Come in!” I figured she was Kelli’s mother.

  All the girls in my grade were wearing pink or red except Emily Jenkins, who forgot. I’m glad I didn’t forget. I would not have wanted to be wearing yellow if everyone else was wearing pink and red.

  I looked around and did not see Chuck anywhere.

  Kelli was wearing a white top with red hearts and golden heart earrings. (She’s one of the only girls in our class with pierced ears.) Her headband was red with shiny sequins. Even her dog had little red bows. She’s a goldendoodle, which is a golden retriever and poodle mix. Her name is Snuggles and she’s hypoallergenic, which means she doesn’t make Kelli’s father sneeze as much as a regular dog would.


  I hope it’s not weird that I’m about to write what I’m about to write, but I also noticed that Kelli was wearing a bra. It would have been impossible not to notice, because her shirt was thin and her shoulder straps were peeking out.

  Most girls in our class do NOT wear bras!

  I doubt I’ll ever need a bra, to tell you the truth. (Hey, the initials of “to tell you the truth” are T-T-Y-T-T!) But who knows? Pip and Kelli are growing up—so maybe I am too and just can’t tell?

  Anyway, the lady in the uniform, Mrs. Atkins, kept asking what kind of pizza we all wanted and offering different toppings, from peppers to pepperoni. I asked for a plain slice because my stomach was full of butterflies, and I wasn’t sure if pizza and butterflies mix.

  Well, I was in the middle of a bite when Chuck walked in. He wasn’t dressed up (maybe boys dress up only for Halloween?), but he did look extra handsome.

  Kelli bounded over and handed him a card. “Open it!” she said, all excited. I hoped no one was watching me watch them, but I leaned forward so I could see the card. On it, a pair of honeybees were saying, “BEE MINE!”

  Chuck had a card for her too! It had a picture of a bright-green dinosaur and the words, “You’re DINOmite.” Even though it was misspelled, when I read that, all the butterflies in my stomach flapped their wings one last time and…died. Every single one.

  Is this what jealousy feels like? If so, it is terrible!

  I didn’t want to be looking at them looking at each other, but I couldn’t turn away. I wished he’d handed me the DINOmite card. But he hadn’t, so it was like tiny sticks of dynamite were exploding in my head. It’s just so hard to believe that they are each other’s valentine.

  I was standing there trying not to feel sorry for myself when Kelli flicked the lights on and off and announced it was time to play limbo. “I did it every day on vacation in Trinidad,” she added. (That’s an island. I looked it up.) We followed her to her family’s giant “rec room” where she had set up two vertical poles with a three-foot pole between them. She said we would all take turns trying to dance under the horizontal pole without knocking into it or falling down.

  A few kids looked confused, so she said, “I’ll go first. Watch.” Then she put on Caribbean music, leaned back so she was facing the ceiling, and with her knees forward, managed to step-step-step under the pole without knocking it over or landing on her butt.

  Confession: I wanted Kelli to land on her butt!

  “Who’s next?” she asked.

  Jamal said, “I’ll go.” But his shoulder bumped the pole, so he got eliminated.

  Ethan said, “I’ll try.” But his chest bumped into the bar, so he got eliminated too.

  “It isn’t easy!” Kelli exclaimed with a lip-glossy smile. I thought that was obnoxious. Obviously, it was easy for her because of her gymnastics lessons and fancy vacation.

  Grace, Olivia, Abigail, Aiden, Namira, Conner, Zara, Riley, Maham (whose name is a palindrome, M-A-H-A-M), and a bunch of others all went. Some made it under; some didn’t.

  “I’ll try,” Maybelle said. She leaned back, inched forward, and scooted under the pole.

  I decided to get my turn over with, so I leaned back, stuck out my knees, and moved to the drumbeat. And I made it!

  Chuck said, “I’ll go,” and made it look like it was a piece of cake, which we all knew it wasn’t.

  But here’s what I have to tell you: when Chuck was practically horizontal to the floor, something fell out of his jacket pocket. A pack of bubblemint gum! When he stood up, he grabbed it really fast and jammed it back into his pocket. Then he looked at me, and I looked at him, and we kept looking at each other for a few really long seconds. (I know seconds all last the same amount, but some definitely feel longer than others.)

  And I couldn’t help wondering: Was that bubblemint gum for me? Part of me thought, No, why would it be? But another part of me was chock-full of hope.

  “Who’s next?” Kelli bubbled.

  Emily J. bumped the pole with her tummy.

  Emily S. bumped it with her chin.

  Emily L. bumped it with her forehead.

  Kelli kept saying, “How low can you go? How low can you go?” and kids kept getting eliminated. After each round, Kelli lowered the pole a smidge so it got even harder to slither under.

  On my third turn, I lost my balance—splat!—so that was that. I was out. It made me mad that Kelli had invited us all to play a game she’s so good at. Limbo is easy-peasy for her. She’s been practicing. Her parents probably hired a limbo coach. (She really does have a homework helper who comes to her house every week, which I don’t think is fair!)

  Question: Did I lose my balance because I’m only so-so at limbo or because thinking about the mystery gum had made me dizzy?

  Anyway, soon it was down to just Chuck and Kelli. Of course I was rooting for Chuck, but I have to say, they were both naturals, if that’s the word. I guess Chuck and Kelli have limbo in common. But one difference is that every time she made it under, she seemed all proud of herself, and every time he did, he just looked relieved.

  One good thing is that whenever it was his turn, I could look right at him without thinking twice about it, because everyone else was looking at him too. (I wish I didn’t like looking at him as much as I do like looking at him.)

  After two more rounds, Kelli whispered in his ear, he nodded, and they called it a tie. We all clapped, and Kelli’s mom rushed over and took a million photos of the Limbo King and Queen. I wondered if she was going to post them or frame them—or both! Right when I was sick to death of clapping, Kelli’s mom brought out pink mini cupcakes from Angel Cakes, the fanciest bakery in Misty Oaks. And Mrs. Atkins brought out chocolate-covered strawberries!

  Soon parents started coming, and Kelli stepped outside to say good-bye to everyone.

  I went to Kelli’s bedroom to get my coat. Her room is pink and has a private bathroom with a lavender shower curtain dotted with bunnies. Part of me wanted to roll my eyes, but if I had my own private bathroom, I might not mind having a lavender shower curtain dotted with bunnies either.

  I grabbed my coat and was about to scoot out the door when Chuck said, “Ava.”

  We hadn’t said two words to each other all night.

  “Yes,” I said quietly.

  “Remember at the bank, you said I could buy—?”

  “I was kidding…” I interrupted, because I didn’t want to say, “Of course I remember! I even wrote the conversation down in my diary!”

  He reached into his pocket and handed me the pack of gum.

  And I took it.

  I took it!

  And I know a pack of gum is not the same as a Valentine card with honeybees or dinosaurs or red roses or cutout letters. But bubblemint is sweet and so is Chuck.

  I couldn’t help smiling as I pictured him going to a store for gum and paying for it with his own money and knowing the whole time he was going to give it to me, me, me.

  “Thank you,” I said, and we looked at each other. I was feeling nervous but happy-nervous.

  Just then, Kelli burst back in. Her blond hair was staticky and her cheeks were pink, and she saw us smiling. “Wasn’t that super fun?” she asked.

  I felt like she’d caught us breaking some rule, but she said, “Chuck, you’re really great at limbo! I bet you’re a great dancer too!”

  “I’ve never really danced,” he replied.

  “I take classes every Thursday,” she said, maybe hoping he’d sign up and they could learn cool new dance moves together.

  He nodded, and I put the pack of gum into my pocket and touched it with my fingertips. It felt like a secret, and I made a decision: I might never even chew it. I might just keep it forever.

  AVA, WITH A SECRET

  2/14

  8 P.M.

  DEAR DIARY,

 
When Pip came home, I asked about her date, and she said it went great. I said, “Date and great rhyme.”

  She ignored me and said, “But I’m starting to get really worried about the assembly.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Do you think Tanya and I should pick a different artist?”

  “Why?”

  “Well, when Maybelle saw our Mona Lisa, she laughed. Remember?”

  “She didn’t mean to be mean,” I said, defending my best friend.

  “I know, but maybe I should email Señor Sánchez and say we want to switch.”

  I thought about all the time Pip and Tanya had put into their project. “You already worked pretty hard on Botero.”

  “I know.”

  “And it’s normal to be nervous, right?”

  “I guess.”

  “It’ll go great,” I said because I was trying to be supportive.

  “I hope so.”

  And I hoped I was giving her good advice.

  AVA, ADVISING

  2/14

  BEDTIME

  DEAR DIARY,

  I just put the bubblemint gum in the drawer of my bedside table and I felt really happy. But then I started wondering if Chuck bought me the gum at the same time as he bought Kelli the dino card. And if he did, which did he buy first?

  Or let me put it this way: Why did he go to the store? Did he go to buy Kelli a card or to buy me the gum? Was one of us an afterthought?

  AVA, AFTERTHOUGHT?

  2/15

  MORNING

  DEAR DIARY,

  I’ve been thinking about the Aesop fable “The Fox and the Stork”:

  A fox invites a stork for dinner. The stork arrives hungry, and the fox sets out a yummy broth in a shallow dish. The fox laps it up, but all the stork can do is moisten the tip of his long bill. The fox says, “What’s the matter? Did I make it too spicy?” The stork says no and invites the fox to come to his house. The following week, the fox sees that the stork has prepared a tasty fish soup, which he serves in a tall jar with a narrow neck. The stork eats it cheerfully, but all the fox can do is sniff it. So this time the fox is the one who goes home hungry.