A Despicable Crime
Page 20
“No, it is better if I switch to a handgun. At eighty-eight, my bones are getting brittle.”
“Of course. I should have realized that. Please forgive me!”
“There is nothing to forgive, dear. So, stop being sad. No bones are broken, and I hit the center of the wood. How far away from that wood were we?”
“About two hundred feet.”
“Excellent! Let’s go in and brag about my success.”
Once inside, Vivian proudly displayed her hole in the wood.
Xavier studied the block of wood. “And how far away were you?”
“About two hundred feet,” Vivian answered.
“Not even possible. Charlotte how far away was she?”
“About two hundred feet.”
“Vivian is eighty-eight years old. Are you seriously claiming on her first day of training she bulls-eyed her target at two hundred feet?”
“Yes, that is what she did,” Charlotte replied.
He sighed heavily.
Vivian spoke at once. “Xavier, it is true. I would not lie about this matter. While I’m very proud of myself, I do not wish to do it again, for it hurt like the blazes. I would rather you teach me how to shoot a handgun instead.”
He stared at her in shock. “You truly shot this at two hundred feet.”
“Yes, and I find your doubt in my veracity most insulting.”
“I apologize, but honestly, it takes most people years to achieve such a shot.”
“So, are you going to teach me to shoot a handgun or not?”
Xavier kissed her forehead. “It will be my pleasure.”
He had Harmon place bulls-eyes on the cork attached to the back wall. He then taught her to prime the gun and take fire.
The first time he allowed her to shoot without him interfering, she nailed the bulls eye. “Oh, this is much better. How do I go about buying a gun like this one?”
“First, you will have to prove you can refrain from killing innocent people while shooting trouble.”
“Then let’s get to it!”
Xavier sighed. “Vic is determined to get through his scrolls on his first run. Watching him, will help you understand what you will need to do. I assure you, these tests are harder than they look. A typical fellow who comes here to be tested will require up to twenty times to get it right.”
Vivian smiled. “I think watching Victor shoot the villains first will be most insightful.”
Vic took her position, with both her guns loaded. When the first scrolls rushed towards her, she shot Seth Sojourn in the head, skipped the woman smacking a fellow with her purse, noticed the baby lying in a crib, ripped the scroll off its hanger and place the baby by the door labeled “Hospital”.
With a pause in the scrolls, Vic replaced the one bullet she had spent and waited for more trouble. It came in a rush. Vic remained calm and cleared out the trouble more by instinct than concrete evidence. Fifteen minutes later the test was over.
“That was hard,” Vic complained.
“Evidently not. Good thing I can’t log your score, because no one else has come close to passing this test. And young man, you scored a hundred percent! You were a force to be reckon with the last time you came here, but you have greatly improved since then.”
“I hope you’re going to give me something easier, because I guarantee you, I’d fail that one,” Vivian stated.
“Not to worry, you get to shoot pets.”
“I will do no such thing!”
“Then you can shoot the vermin and leave the pets alive.”
“That I can do. However, just for the record, I like hedgehogs and I do not consider them vermin.”
“Don’t expect to make a hundred percent then.”
“I can live with that.”
Harmon set up her scrolls. When the first ones swung forward, Vivian laughed. “I’m feeling like little Red Riding Hood,” she complained and shot the wolf in the third scroll. Then noticing an adder at the base of the first scroll, she shot it as well. She left both the kittens fighting over a ball of yarn and the hedgehog alive.
The next scroll had a painting of a massive quantity of ants crawling over a Bunsen burner. She shot the igniter. The next scroll had a crocodile. “England doesn’t have crocodiles, but I’m shooting it all the same. It is a highly dangerous creature.”
Next a giraffe and hippo appeared. “Oh, for God’s sake. These animals do not belong in England. So, they must have broken out of one of our zoos.” She shot the hippo in its mouth and then between its eyes because she hadn’t a clue how to kill it. The giraffe she shot at the bottom of the scroll near its feet to scare it back to its cage. Evidently, that worked, for the scroll receded.
Next a mother rat and twenty tiny baby rats appeared. Given she only had three shots left, she knew she couldn’t shoot them all. Noticing the scroll on the left had rat poison she followed Vic’s trick and ripped the section with the rat poison and put it by the rats.
“I see brilliance runs in the family. If not for your love of hedge hogs, you would have also been a hundred percent correct.”
Xavier gripped his great-grandmother’s hands. “Well, I’m more impressed with her shooting. She hit every target she wanted to hit, including the Bunsen burner to take out the ants.”
Xavier focused on his mother. “Would you prefer a human or animal scroll.”
“I imagine these scrolls take a great deal of time to make.”
“They do, but Harmon has plenty of time on his hands.”
“All the same, I don’t believe I wish to shoot animals or humans. I think I’ve done enough shooting this month.”
“I understand.” Xavier stated and turned to the old fellow. “Thank you, Harmon.”
“Thank you for bringing such excellent soldiers, be they male or female. It is an honor to have my scrolls so well used. I only wish I could give them credit for their fabulous work.”
“Well, they cannot be listed, but now I know for a fact that both my mother and great-grand mother can protect themselves, and not only can Vic protect himself, but he can somehow filter the good from the bad in lightning speed.”
“That is the truth, sir. So far, I’ve been running it at half speed, and the men still can’t get it right.”
“I suspect you aren’t pulling the right men. I’ll talk to the Director of Scotland Yard about sending some of his intuitive officers here. They could probably run it.”
“If you wouldn’t mind asking him sir. The External Affairs minister is the one who designed this scroll, only none of his men can run it. I expect by now, he might be willing to test the water with Scotland Yard fellers.”
“Allow me to talk to Barns first. While he might be willing to share his quality men on special situations, I don’t think he’ll agree to give them up. So, say nothing about this just yet.”
“That suits me fine. To be honest, the minister scares me half to death.”
“Yes, the only one who doesn’t tread carefully around the fellow is Victor. In fact, Vic will scold and fight with him.”
“Well, anyone can tell Victor is special.”
“Indeed, he is.”
“But your Great-grandmother seems a bit special as well. Do you think she might fancy an old soldier like me?”
“I doubt it, but you can always try.”
“Excellent! Can you provide her address?”
“You seriously wish to try?”
“Oh, yes, sir.
“Well then, go to my house, have Gregory walk you out the back door, continue walking until you arrive at the back door of the next house, provide the butler, Jonas, with a calling card, and he will take you to the ladies. They live in the house behind mine.”
“Any chance, you could put in a good word for me?”
“Sorry, no. It’s not that I don’t think well of you. You know I do. However, Vivian was married when she was thirteen and her middle-aged husband died a few years later. She has remained an independent woman ever sin
ce. That’s over seventy years that she chose to not have a husband, so your expectations should be kept low.”
“Thank you for explaining that. I gather she didn’t like the fellow, him being so old and her being so young.”
“I don’t see any evidence there was any love between them. But she was a beautiful woman—"
“She still is,” Harmon insisted.
“I’m just saying, don’t get your hopes up,” Xavier warned.
“I won’t, but I still want to try.”
“Then go for it! Sometimes life can surprise you.”
Chapter 23
When the ladies returned home, they thanked Xavier and Vic for a lovely outing and then hurried to their home.
“What did you think of Hamond?” Vivian asked Charlotte as they settled in the library.
“He is a very fine artist and engineer. The mechanizations required to move those scrolls about was most impressive.”
“I expected you to shoot the scrolls. Why did you back out?”
“Don’t be disappointed in me.”
“Never. I’m just curious.”
“I was missing my afternoon chat with Captain Pike. He reminds me of Xavier’s real father.”
“Charlotte! You barely know the man,” Vivian scolded.
“That is true. So, I’m shielding my heart, but it is such a wonderful feeling to have someone who truly seems to like me.”
“But do you not consider him beneath you?” Vivian asked.
“When I compare him to my former husband, I think him very fine.”
“He’s not a particularly attractive man, and he seems far smarter than his position in life would require him to be,” Vivian warned her.
“And what is wrong with that?” Charlotte asked in outrage.
“Nothing at all, if that is what you want. But I understood you wanted to be a woman of independence.”
“I suppose you are right. But every time he sees me, his smile is so genuine.”
“But society will never accept him as your equal.”
Charlotte laughed bitterly. “Society would be far more likely to accept a captain of Her Majesty’s Army than me.”
“I could give you half my wealth now, if you wish to hunt for a proper husband.”
“Thank you, but no! If I ever marry again, it will be for love. In this matter, I am most lucky. I do not have to appease society, because society ignores me. So, I can choose who I wish, if I wish.”
“And you wish to choose Captain Pike?” Vivian challenged.
“I barely know the man.”
“But you do like him.”
“I do. He is what a gentleman should be, but rarely is.”
Vivian rose and kissed her on her forehead. “Then test the waters. If he proves to be a man you would want for the remainder of your life, then don’t let anyone stop you. Including Captain Pike, for it is very likely that he will see himself as beneath you.”
“It is far more likely the opposite,” Charlotte muttered.
“No dear. While Daniel thought himself a ‘grand catch’ he was in fact a very poor excuse of a man. Just take your time and ensure that the very fine man Captain Pike seems to be is truly what he is.”
Charlotte hugged Vivian. “You always did give me such good advice.”
Chapter 24
“I am utterly exhausted!” Vic declared as she shed her clothes and collapsed into bed.
“As am I,” Xavier admitted. “When did we get so old?”
Vic sat up. “We are not old! We are just exhausted! Even our good cases are becoming difficult. I swear, if I took on a cat case now, it would no doubt turn out to be an angry tiger escaped from the zoo.”
Xavier chuckled. “Now that is an event, which if it happened and Dole wrote about it, at least I would have no reason to be embarrassed.”
Vic straddled his waist. “So, you are more concerned about your reputation than me being eaten by a tiger?”
“Eaten? Nonsense! Tubs would knock it unconscious with a single swat.”
Vic laughed. “I bet he could, too.”
“I’ve no doubt about it,” Xavier pulled her to his chest as he rolled her over, so he was on top.
“Not bad for an old man too exhausted to move,” she teased. “What else can you do?”
“Do not tease the tiger,” he warned and kissed her with hungry passion.
While Xavier’s kiss rallied what appeared to be a naked, playful, wrestling match between the two, Vic turned off the lights, so we really can’t see much.
Thus, I’m calling it
The End
For now.
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