What to Expect When You Have a Fae Baby (The Immortality Curse Book 2)

by Peter Glenn

  “What’s wrong, child?” LaLuna asked again. More screams greeted her in response.

  “Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked, wincing a little from the screams and holding my hands over my ears.

  Mei giggled at me. “What, a little baby got you all riled up?”

  I glowered at her. “Not helpful, Mei.”

  She just shrugged. “She’s probably hungry, doofus.”

  I supposed that made sense. Now all we needed was Sevin to come back with those baby supplies already.

  The sound of footsteps scuffing on concrete told me we didn’t need to wait much longer. I turned toward the entrance to Mei’s, a wide grin on my face. “Sevin! You’ve come to save us all!”

  “Oui, mon ami,” Sevin called out, almost yelling to be heard over the sound of the baby’s cries. “But I am afraid I may not have been so successful.” He had a dour expression on his face.

  I furrowed my brow. “What’s up, Sevin? Something go wrong on the baby run?”

  He shook his head furiously. “Non, mon ami. Ze run went fine, I think.”

  In his hands he held a rather large diaper bag that looked to be practically bursting with supplies. He rummaged around in the sack for a moment and produced a small, plastic bottle. It was filled with a whitish liquid. Baby formula, I guessed.

  “But the baby drink,” he said, frowning at the bottle. He took off the top of it and gave it a little sniff, then wrinkled his nose. “I think it’s gone bad, mon ami.”

  I laughed a little. “Here.” I gestured for him to hand me the bottle. “Let me take a whiff.”

  Sevin handed me the open bottle, and I sniffed it as well. I wasn’t sure what I’d been expecting, but that pungent smell that reminded me of old milk hadn’t been it.

  I pushed the bottle toward Mei, holding it daintily with my fingers as far from my nose as I could. “Is this stuff really good for a baby?” I asked her.

  Mei plucked the bottle from my hands and gave it a sniff of her own. She shrugged. “Smells like formula to me.” She walked over and handed the bottle to LaLuna after stopping to grab the nipple out of Sevin’s hands and replacing it.

  LaLuna nodded at her and placed the bottle in Grace’s mouth. For a moment, it didn’t seem to do anything, and Grace kept wailing and flailing about like mad, but slowly, the cries and movements subsided, and I heard small sucking noises come from her as she drank down the foul-smelling formula.

  “See?” Mei said, nudging me in the ribs. “Told you it was fine.”

  My eyes practically bulged out of my head. The baby actually liked that vile stuff? I didn’t remember much from the last time I’d held a baby all those years ago, but I was pretty sure whatever it ate, it hadn’t smelled that bad.

  “Ahem,” a voice came from behind me. It was Elden’s. I’d almost forgotten he was even here. “If you’ll all excuse me, I think I’ll just be going, now.”

  I turned to face him and extended a hand toward him. “I understand, mate.” He took my hand and shook it brusquely. “Sorry again that I couldn’t do more for you, but as you can see, it’s busy enough around here as it is.”

  He glanced over at LaLuna and the baby for a moment and nodded. There was something odd about his stare, but I couldn’t make it out. But then, I was pretty sure he was fae, and so was LaLuna and Grace. Maybe that’s all it was.

  His eyes returned to mine. “Yes, I can see that very much. Sorry for bothering you, Damian.”

  I gave him a grin. “Yes, well, perhaps another time, right?”

  “Right.” He gave off a nervous laugh and eyed the door, then started heading off in that direction. But something felt off about the whole thing. I couldn’t quite tell what it was, just that something was amiss.

  “Wait!” I called after him.

  Elden stopped and turned to look at me. “Did I forget something?”

  “Just... hang on a second,” I said. “Let me walk you to the door.”

  The fae gentleman stood there dumbfounded, but he slowly nodded. “All right, if it will make you feel better.”

  “It will.”

  I walked over to him, and we both headed toward the door to Mei’s together. When we reached the threshold, his hand went to the door, but I stopped him. “Wait,” I commanded again.

  Now I was sure something was amiss, though what it was, I still couldn’t say for sure, just that my nerves were standing on edge. And there was a foul smell coming from the other end of Mei’s doorway, and this one wasn’t from the baby formula.

  There was a tiny view hole in Mei’s door, through which you could see the other side of the portal. I’d never really given it much thought, as you couldn’t even find the bar if you had ill intent toward its patrons anyway, but at this moment, it felt like the world’s most valuable resource.

  I ducked a little and placed my eye against the tiny bit of glass, straining to make anything out.

  What I saw on the other side of the door made my blood run cold. I couldn’t make out much—the eye hole was only so big—but there were several menacing shapes on the other side of the door milling about. They looked dangerous, and although they obviously couldn’t find the door, they were staying in close proximity to it.

  The only details I could make out about them was that there were at least half a dozen of the... things on the other side of Mei’s doorway, and that none of them were human. Fae, I guessed, from the occasional sighting of wings interspersed with claws and fangs. The wings I thought I recognized, but it wasn’t clear enough for me to be certain.

  It would make sense that they were fae, seeing as Mei was currently housing three of them in her bar.

  Whoever they were, they didn’t look too welcoming, and I wasn’t about to let Elden or anyone out there to face them alone.

  I put my hand on Elden to force him backward. “It’s not safe out there,” I told him.

  He looked at me with a grave expression. “What did you see out there, exactly?”

  “Not sure, but it’s not good, I can tell you that much.” I shook my head and grimaced. “Let’s go back and talk to Mei and the others.”

  Elden nodded, and we headed back toward the bar proper.

  “What’s up, soldier boy?” Mei asked me.

  My eyes darted about the room a bit, finally settling on her. “Trouble’s brewing outside your doorway, missy.”

  She frowned at me. “What kind of trouble, exactly?”

  “The kind with wings and claws.” I gave her a wry grin.

  “Damn it,” LaLuna said from off in the corner, partially under her breath.

  “Beg pardon?” I said.

  LaLuna shook her head and rocked the baby a little more. “I should have known this would happen.”

  I shot her a quizzical look.

  She let out a long sigh. “The fae magic I used to come here,” she explained. “The teleportation magic. It is very powerful, but also very dangerous. Anyone listening in on my magical signal could have easily used it to trace my destination.”

  LaLuna bit her lip and lowered her gaze. “I am sorry, Mistress Mei. I fear I have put us all in grave danger.”

  Mei just shrugged. “Nothing we can’t handle, dear. Don’t worry about it.” She gave me a wink. “Besides, they can’t come in here even if they want to. You’ll be safe enough.”

  “Bless you, Mistress Mei,” LaLuna replied. “It is more than I could ask for.”

  Mei smiled at her. “It’s no trouble. Is it, Damian?” The last part she said while staring straight at me.

  “Of course not,” I said through gritted teeth.

  I wasn’t sure what game Mei was playing, first by having LaLuna cast the memory spell on me and me alone, and now by having me go to her defense, but it didn’t really matter. I owed Mei everything. She’d saved me during the dark times in the 1970s. And Grax’thor and I were kind of itching for a battle, anyway.

  Well, I assumed she was. I wasn’t about to check. Didn’t need a fresh insult.
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  Besides, maybe if I was lucky, I would finally be able to reach my warrior’s ending in this conflict. That was still a goal of mine; to go out in a glorious battle. And six to one odds were just bad enough that maybe Grax’thor and my own innate luck magic wouldn’t be able to pull me out this time.

  “I’ll come with you,” Hank said, getting up from his barstool.

  “Oh no, it’s fine,” I said, shaking my head and putting my hand up in protest. “We can handle this on our own, can’t we, Grax’thor?”

  In spite of my earlier resolve, I spared a glance at the blade.

  Go screw yourself, she said.

  Not exactly a cheery message. I grinned at Hank anyway. “See? We’re good.”

  “Nonsense, boy,” he said. “I feel the change coming on, and something tells me having a few fangs and claws on your side might be worthwhile.”

  “The change?” He was about to turn into a wolf, then.

  Hank nodded.

  Was it really that time already? It was only five o’clock or so. Werewolves only changed during the full moon, and always during the full moon. It was kind of their thing. One of the few things movies actually got right about them. Was the moon out already?

  The other thing movies got right was that werewolves were total badass fighters. Or at least, I’d always heard they were. I’d never gotten to see it firsthand myself.

  I wasn’t about to pass up that chance.

  “Well, why didn’t you say so? Come on, then!” I beckoned him forward, and Hank patted his belly a couple times and sauntered forth. Together, we went back up the stairs toward the entrance.

  Hank sized me up. “So what’s the plan, sailor?” He was still using that same insult from earlier, even though I was plenty dry by now.

  “Very funny,” I said, glaring at him. I could already tell that he was much hairier than he’d been just a few minutes earlier, and that was saying something. Hank was an extremely hairy individual.

  “How long do you need to finish the change?”

  Hank looked up at the ceiling, then back at me. “A few minutes. Not much.”

  “Good.” I glanced out the view hole at the outside again. The fae creatures hadn’t moved much, though I could make them out better, now.

  There were two hound-like creatures. Seemed like good foes for Hank to take on. Another one of them was tall, with a long face and too-long arms for its body. It looked kind of like an insect, but not quite. Beside Tall Guy were two more fae that looked almost human, except for their misshapen hands, and their mouths that had far too many teeth.

  And behind them all was the one I’d almost recognized earlier from LaLuna’s memories. Fireball Chick. Those wings were distinctive enough that I’d have trouble forgetting them.

  I glanced over at Hank again. His hands had turned into paws and his face had elongated a little, looking something like a cross between a bear and a wolf’s muzzle. He was halfway there already.

  “Okay, you take the dog-looking fae, and I’ll go after their leader. We’ll take them by surprise, blitz-style, before they can mount a good defense. Sound like a plan?”

  I wasn’t sure that Hank could still hear me in that shape, but he nodded his head anyway.

  Now all we had to do was wait. After another minute or two, Hank was fully wolf. His form was quite impressive. Silver fur mixed with spots of coal-black around the eyes and paws. Standing beside me in wolf form, he was almost as tall as I was, all of it sheer muscle. He was surely a force to be reckoned with.

  “All right,” I said, “on the count of three.”

  Hank’s muzzle moved up and down in what I assumed was a nod.

  I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and drew Grax’thor to keep her at the ready. “One... two... three!”

  With a shove, I threw open the door, letting loose a throaty battle cry. Hank whizzed past me faster than I could blink, a mass of fur and claws heading right for the closest of the dog-like beings. They collided in a tangle of limbs that flailed and struck so fast I couldn’t even follow the action.

  I turned my attention to the closest of the human-ish fae and lashed out with my blade, aiming for a high strike meant for decapitation. The creature brought its arm up to block the blow and succeeded, but I managed to shear off its hand in the same motion.

  A spurt of black blood shot forth from the thing’s battered appendage, and it gave off some unearthly wail that I cut short with another swing from Grax’thor, slicing through its throat with practiced ease.

  The second human-like one came for me, then, swinging its clawed arms like weapons. I had to leap backward lest it rake me across the midsection. Its claws whizzed through empty air as I batted at one its hands with the side of my blade.

  Grax’thor made contact, smacking the clawed hand with a loud crack, and the injured hand hung at an odd angle.

  The human-like fae shook the injured hand for a second, then ignored it and renewed its advance. But with only one good claw to attack me with, it was already outclassed.

  I held my weapon level and swung, attempting to strike the other clawed hand. The fae managed to dodge the attack, but my blade still sliced through the skin of the arm, leaving behind a nasty gash.

  I crouched and lunged with my blade, hoping to end the conflict quickly, but the insect-like fae ran in front of the human one at the last second. Instead of Grax’thor biting into tender flesh, my blade was turned by the scales of the insect-like Tall Guy, which acted like some kind of metal armor.

  Tall Guy kicked out with one of his feet, and the kick caught me off-guard. I went flying through the air, slamming into the side of a VW bug with a loud thud.

  My back ached from the impact, and I felt a little dazed, but I quickly got back up to my feet and raced to get back in position. I gave about two seconds’ worth of thought into why Fireball Chick hadn’t entered the fray yet and set my sights back on Tall Guy. He was going to pay for that.

  But hey, at least now it was turning into a real fight.

  Human Two flashed his fangs and jumped in front of me before I could reach Tall Guy again. Humph. Just as well. I wasn’t sure Grax’thor could hurt Tall Guy anyway, and I didn’t have any other magic to rely on.

  Well, except for my blind, stupid luck, but that was inconsistent, and I couldn’t count on it to fire at any particular point in the conflict.

  Human Two lunged straight at me, head low and good arm out front.

  I side-stepped his lunge, turning my blade so it would slice down his side as he ran past me. The blade cut into his skin with a sickening slice as fresh blood sprayed everywhere from the wound.

  Human Two groaned and fell to the ground in a huff. I speared him through the spine with Grax’thor for good measure, and his body convulsed, then fell to the ground in a pool of sticky, black fluid.

  My eyes scanned the battlefield, searching for Tall Guy. Hank had felled one of the two hound things and was busy attacking the other. The remains of the first one were almost unrecognizable. I could see a few streaks of red on Hank’s fur, but I couldn’t tell if they were from the mangled beast, or if he was injured.

  I’d just have to hope that he could handle his own.

  Off to my side, the door to Mei’s was standing wide open, glowing like a portal to a safe haven. It had gone completely unnoticed by the enemy, which was a huge relief. It meant LaLuna and Grace were still safe.

  Part of me wondered what it had looked like to the enemy when we’d appeared seemingly out of a wall. That must have been pretty freaky.

  But I didn’t have long to ponder it. Tall Guy was close by, sizing up the conflict. He seemed to be ignoring me for the moment, which was fine by me. Fireball Chick was nowhere to be found.

  Tall Guy raised one of his hands high over his head, ready to swipe at Hank and the last hound. I wasn’t certain which of them he’d hit, or if he’d hit both of them, but I wasn’t going to take any chances.

  “Hey!” I shouted at it. “Over here, lame br
ain!” I’ve found that nothing gets an enemy’s attention quite like an insult.

  It did the trick. Tall Guy lowered his hand back down and turned to glare at me. I saw a pair of overly-long fangs stick out from his insect-like mouth as he turned his body and braced for my next attack.

  I raised Grax’thor over my head and ran for him at full speed. At the last moment, I fell to my knees and slid underneath him, using my momentum to carry me forward between his legs.

  The beast’s claws raked the top of my head as it tried to grab at me or ward me off, and I felt the sting of my flesh opening up as I slid, but the attack worked. Grax’thor bit into the softer flesh in between Tall Guy’s legs. I thrust upward with the blade as I slid, trying to pierce a vital organ with the tip of the blade, but I wasn’t that lucky.

  Tall Guy howled and doubled over in pain, but he remained standing. Meanwhile, I lost grip of Grax’thor as I finished my slide, and the creature spasmed.

  Weaponless, I wondered for a brief second what I was going to do next. There were few options. I sprang to my feet and jumped, trying to wrap my arms around the beast’s head.

  My jump fell well short, and my hands failed to find purchase, but I managed to grab one of his arms, and I pulled as hard as I could. Together, Tall Guy and I fell to the ground in a tangle of body parts.

  I felt the wind get knocked out of me as the tough scales on his back slammed into my chest, but I managed to keep my hold through the fall. Though now, I had him on top of me. Not an enviable position.

  Just then, I heard Tall Guy let out another wail, and I felt the bulk of his body get pulled in a different direction as he thrashed around.

  His thrashing was too violent, so I let go, lest I get taken with him. I scrambled to my knees as my eyes sought my savior. It was Hank. He definitely looked a little worse for wear, but he had one of Tall Guy’s legs in his mouth, and he was tossing the fae back and forth with the power of his jaws.

  The commotion jarred Grax’thor, freeing her, so I picked her up and swung for the fae’s exposed neck.

  Grax’thor found purchase this time, and the blade cut all the way through Tall Guy’s neck, decapitating him. Blood spurted all over, coating poor Hank and ruining my jeans, but the conflict was over. At least for the moment. Fireball Chick was still out there, somewhere.