As I pulled out the house key from the plant that sat next to the front door, I suddenly wanted to turn and continue walking down the road and disappear. I could still live each day like it was my last on my own. But with limited funds and no place to go, those days would be numbered. Besides, I didn’t want to be alone.
Unlocking the front door, I pushed it open and looked around. It was so quiet, and not a single thing was out of place. It was like a museum that didn’t allow visitors because my mom hated to socialize with the other mothers. She didn’t think anyone understood her, but I did. I knew who Momma really was. She was selfish. And no one had ever come looking to collect the debt of her sins.
It wasn’t fair.
I yanked open the China hutch and grabbed a dish, letting it slip between my fingers and shatter on the ground. A chunk bounced, biting into the flesh of my shin. All of the anger I’d hidden escaped through that tiny sliver. I wanted to fill the house with pretty broken things so she couldn’t ignore them... couldn’t ignore me. I grabbed another dish, and another, and sent them crashing to the floor. Let’s see you put a pretty bow on this and call it fixed, Momma.
I took the stairs two at a time and went right into the bathroom, avoiding my reflection as I opened the medicine cabinet and stared at the rows of pills. The orange bottles blurred in and out of focus as I decided what I wanted to feel or not feel.
Some pills would make me numb, some that would make me happy, and some of the pills would make me not care at all. None of them would make me feel like Ford had. I was tired of hiding who I was. My fingertips danced over the tops of the bottle before I closed the door and locked eyes with myself. I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I was chemically altered to behave like a drone. How was I going to find myself and truly live if I had to rely on medication just to get me through any situation?
I didn’t want to forget who I was or go through life, not feeling anything. I wanted to live for once, and I didn’t care what anyone else said. Fuck you, Momma. I grabbed the wooden box that held her camouflage and slammed it against the mirror with a guttural scream.
I hurried into my bedroom and grabbed my book bag, dumping out the contents on the floor. Pencils and notebooks I’d put in there for the beginning of school fell to the ground, scattering.
I grabbed Romeo and Juliet from my bed and tossed it into the empty bag. Staring at my ceramic bank on top of my dresser, I only hesitated for a fraction of a second before slamming it against the edge of my chest of drawers and collecting all of the cash I’d been saving from birthday cards and doing chores. Stuffing the money deep into the bag, I searched for other necessities I might need.
I pulled open my drawers and shoved socks and underwear into the bag before grabbing a few pairs of shorts and t-shirts. I kicked off my boots and slid my feet into a pair of flip-flops before hurrying out of my room and back out front. I stopped on my porch, perched on top of the stairs, as I looked at the bright red taillights of Ford’s car.
I turned and began to run down my street, the houses blurring from my tears. My chest felt like it was on fire. I couldn’t do this anymore. Any of this.
I heard his car, like the low rumble of thunder as it slowly pulled up beside me. I swiped the tears from my cheek, walking as fast as I could, and refusing to look his way. He reached across the seat and wound down the passenger window slightly.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He snapped.
“I’m leaving this backwoods town.” My voice shook. “And if you have any sense, you’ll get as far away as you can too. This place is poison.”
“You’re leaving? Just gonna walk right out of town?”
I stopped, turning toward him as I narrowed my eyes. He put his car in park right there in the middle of the street. “Why not? My momma did it once. I can do it too. I’m not your problem, Ford. I’m beyond savin’. I’m rotten fruit.”
“Emery –”
“Just go... please.” I resumed walking, determined to get as far away from Hebert Plantation as my feet could take me before my momma got home.
He put the car in drive, drifting beside me. This boy didn’t know when to leave well enough alone.
“I can’t just let you out here without anyone knowing where you are.”
I scoffed, throwing my hands in the air. “They won’t care, Ford. That’s the point.”
“Damn it.” He slammed his car in park again, but I didn’t stop. When I heard his car door whine on its hinges, I fought against taking off in a full sprint. He grabbed my elbow, and I spun around, yanking my arm from his grip. “Get in the car, Emery.”
Fat drops began to pelt us. We stared at each other, the heat from the asphalt steaming as the sky broke free.
“Please.”
I walked around him and slipped inside of his sleek car, winding the window back up as I got into the passenger seat.
I finally released the breath I’d been holding and slid the seatbelt across my chest. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins so hard I could practically hear it whooshing through my ears.
The storm was short-lived, much like the one that had been brewing between us.
The night air no longer felt thick and oppressive as it whipped my hair around my face. I’d never been so scared and excited in my entire life. I was known for planning out every detail, never leaving anything to chance. This was a new world for me, and I was excited to explore it.
“Where are we going?” I asked as I tucked my legs underneath me, my teeth digging into my lower lip.
“I’m tired of runnin’.” Ford shook his head as he glanced in his rearview mirror. “New Orleans.” The words came out in a jumble sounding more like Nawlins.
“Seriously?” I squealed.
“You have any idea what your stepdad is gonna do to me?”
“He can’t do anything if he doesn’t find us.” I arched my eyebrow, and Ford just laughed, his tongue running out over his lower lip. My gaze fell to his mouth. Even busted and bruised, he looked like sin. He was perfect.
“You are going to be the death of me.”
“Well, we might as well make it worth it.” I grabbed the thick glass bottle that sat next to him on the seat and took another drink.
We drove for a couple of hours, and although there wasn’t much to see on the trip, I was too amped up to get any sleep. My mom was probably home by now and worried sick. Or maybe they were mad at me. I’d taken the battery out of my phone before we’d left DeRidder city limits, afraid to read any messages they might send me. I didn’t want to be talked out of what I was doing. It was my stepdad’s fault that Ford had to leave his uncle’s home, and I couldn’t let him do it on his own.
I would think about the punishment I’d receive when the time came. For now, I was going to have some fun.
“We need to get some gas,” Ford spoke up, cutting off my internal monolog.
“You pump, and I’ll pay?”
He nodded as he pulled off the highway in Baton Rouge. I slid my feet into my flip-flops and stretched before getting out of the car and squinting from the blinding southern sun.
“Grab us something to eat,” He called out as he pulled some cash out of his wallet and held it out for me.
I smiled, giving him a nod as I made my way inside. I grabbed a pair of sunglasses from one of the displays and tried them on, looking at myself in the small mirror. They were huge, and I giggled aloud at my appearance.
“You look cute.”
I spun around to see a teenage boy with sandy blonde hair sticking out from under an LSU hat.
“Thanks.” My face instantly turned red, and I was glad my eyes were hidden.
He wandered off to meet up with an older woman, and I walked down the snack aisle, looking for something good to eat. I had no idea what kind of food Ford liked. All I’d seen him eat were those cheap prepackaged pies on this entire trip, so I grabbed him another and a few bags of chips.
Stopping at the cooler, I grabbed a couple of
those energy drinks that were making my brain work on overdrive better than any of my medicines ever had.
I dumped my armful of food on top of the counter and smiled brightly at the woman behind the register who looked less than enthused as she rang up my items.
“We also got gas on pump twelve.” I handed her the cash and shoved the change deep in my pocket before heading back out into the bright day.
But the day seemed a little dimmer, and as I walked toward Ford, who was leaning against the side of his car, I realized that I still had the oversized glasses on my face.
“Oh my God,” I whisper yelled as I reached him.
“What?”
“Get in the car! Get in the car!” I hurried to my side as he hung up the gas pump and slid into the driver’s seat.
“You seriously need to slow down on the energy drinks,” he teased as we drove up the ramp onto the highway.
“It’s not that.” I turned to face him with my legs tucked underneath my body. “Notice anything different?”
“You look like a bug?”
“Ugh,” I smacked his arm playfully. “An outlaw.”
“No, I’m pretty sure you look like a bug. Maybe a grasshopper.”
“Dang it, Ford.” I pulled the glasses from my face and held them out. “I stole these!”
“You what?” The car swerved, and I fumbled with my seatbelt.
“Not on purpose. I forgot I had them on. Some boy had told me I looked cute... but that’s not the point. The point is, it was easy. No one even noticed. We can just take whatever we need. It will be so much fun!”
“First of all,” he took the glasses from my hand. “No. We aren’t going to steal things. I have money, and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
I stuck out my bottom lip as I listened to him scold me. “Are you going to make me take them back? I really like them.”
He looked over the glasses in his hand before he smiled and gave them back to me. “No. You do look too damn cute in them. But no more.” He wagged his finger at me, and I drug my own finger in an x motion across my chest.
“Cross my heart,” I promised.
“Hope to die?” He continued the rhyme as I slipped my legs out from under me and propped my feet up on the dashboard. His gaze went to my legs, and I felt them slide all the way up. I readjusted in my seat.
I grabbed a bag of chips and opened them, shoving one in my mouth before holding the bag over to Ford for him to take one. He did, shoving the whole thing in his mouth.
“So, who was this guy who was flirting with you? Want me to go back and kick his ass?”
I looked over at Ford whose tone was playful, but he wasn’t smiling. Was he jealous?
I shrugged as I took another bite of my chip. “Nah... I kind of liked it. He grabbed my butt too.”
“He did not,” he yelled as his eyes went from the road to me in rapid succession.
“He could have. I’d have let him,” I smirked as I shrugged my shoulders. Ford only shook his head, apparently not finding it funny.
I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face as the radio blared some old song about getting high. I felt high on life... and Ford. It was the best I’d ever felt.
“Have you ever been down to New Orleans?” Ford asked, turning down his music, which he never did willingly.
“Nah. Sutton kept promising to take us, but we never had time. What about you?” I looked over to Ford, who seemed to be lost in an old memory.
“Yeah. It’s a... it’s kind of wild. I’m not sure how you’re going to fit in.”
“Oh my God, Ford. Are you serious? You’re trying to tell me that in a place known for its debauchery and acceptance of the eccentric, that me, plain Emery Layne Elliot will be shunned as an outcast?”
“No... great speech, but no. I’m just worried about you seeing all them titties might impose on your feminine sensibilities.”
“Well,” I cleared my throat as I felt my skin heat from embarrassment. I drug my middle finger down my chest, pulling the fabric of my shirt lower. “I wouldn’t have expected you to notice, but I have titties, as you so eloquently put it. So I don’t find them all that shocking.”
It was Ford who was turning a hilarious shade of red now as he adjusted in his seat, clearly not expecting me to respond the way I had. But this was me living, and I wasn’t worried about what anyone thought of me. It was nice to say what was on my mind.
“Oh, I noticed.” His eyes narrowed as he ran his tongue out over his lips. It caused a shiver to rattle its way through my bones all the way to my toes.
It took all I had not to let my burst of laughter break free. I wished I'd dared to meet Ford sooner. All of those lonely months I’d spent staring at him from my window was wasted time.
“I think maybe you should try to get some sleep,” he said as he turned the radio back up.
I sighed as I tucked my arm under my head and let my eyes fall closed, anxious to wake up in the city that care forgot.
13
FORD
I couldn’t help but watch Emery as she slept, so peaceful without the weight of the world on her shoulders. She thought this was all in fun, and she trusted me to keep her safe. I hoped I was able to live up to what she needed, but part of me was terrified I couldn’t. I didn’t have the best track record in that department.
I had no idea what we were going to do when we got down to New Orleans, and I was okay with that when it was just me. I could sleep in my car if I needed to, but Emery would need someplace safe.
I watched the exit signs fly by as we made our way closer to the city. Every off-ramp we passed, I had to talk myself out of pulling off and calling her parents. Maybe if I begged for their forgiveness now, they wouldn’t have me thrown in jail for kidnapping.
She stirred, her mouth tugging down into a frown as she readjusted herself. She definitely wouldn’t be able to sleep in my car for more than one night.
Her eyes fluttered open, and I quickly looked back out the windshield.
“Hey,” she whispered as she yawned, bowing her back as she stretched. I tried and failed to keep my eyes from scanning over her body.
“Hey.”
Her eyes read the highway signs. “We’re almost there.”
“Not much longer. Are you hungry?”
Her hand went to her stomach as she nodded her head. I quickly made my way to the right lane and pulled off at the next exit.
“You’re being weird.”
Pulling into the Raymond’s Drive Thru, I turned down the radio and waited for the car in front of us to finish their order.
“I’m just thinking,” I admitted.
“About what?”
I inched the car forward, not sure how much I could say to her without her getting upset. I knew this was some sort of fun escape for her, but her father wasn’t going to forgive me. I glanced into the rearview mirror, and my eyes settled on the purpling cut that marred my cheekbone.
“I thought maybe we could spend the night down here and see some of the sites, then I can bring you back.”
“Bring me back?”
“Well, we can’t stay down here forever.”
“Yeah, but you said me, not us. Are you not going to stay at Daven’s?”
“I already told you, I can’t.” I pulled forward to place my order, offering me a small reprieve from Emery’s inquisition.
I ordered us each a breakfast sandwich and pulled up to the first window to pay.
“Ford, I don’t want to go back.”
“You have to go back, Emery,” I replied as I smiled up at the worker in the window and handed her some cash.
“No.”
“You have to.” I took my change and pulled to the next window to wait for our food.
“Why are you doing this?” She sounded so wounded, and it killed me that I was hurting her.
“I don’t expect you to understand.” I took our bag of food and pulled back out of the parking lot, wishing I’d never opened my
mouth. I should have turned around while she was sleeping and we’d be damn near home by now.
“Oh, here we go again. I can’t understand anything. Well, I understand a lot more than you think, Ford. I’m not an idiot. I know you’re hurting and you think everything is your fault. I also know how very wrong you are about that and if you would just shut up and stop blaming yourself, you might actually be happy for once.” She was yelling, and as much as I wanted to interject, I was half afraid to. She was standing up for herself, and I wanted to see that side of her.
“You’re right,” I agreed as I held out her sandwich. She hesitated before taking it from my hand.
“I’m right?”
“Yup.”
“So that’s it. You just agree with me? You’re not gonna tell me I’m too young to know better or whatever?”
“Nope. Who the hell am I to tell you what you know?”
She eyed me suspiciously before taking a bite of her sandwich. “That’s right.” All the fight had left her words.
Somehow the air felt even thicker in New Orleans like the sin was hanging in a dense cloud around us. What would a few more lies hurt?
The French Quarter was alive, even in the early hours of the afternoon. Tourists were out shopping, and those who’d appeared to have been partying for days were stumbling down the sidewalks with drinks in hand.
Emery’s face lit up as she took in the scenery. Even though Mardi Gras was in February, the city seemed to never take a day off.
“Do you see that guy?” Her palm was flat against the passenger window like a child eyeing a puppy in a store.
I glanced over at the man who was completely spray painted silver, frozen like a statue and working for tips. I wondered if I would have to do something like that to earn money when my funds ran out.
“Can we go over there?” She turned to face me, her eyes wide.
“Sure. We have to find a place to park first.” I forced a smile, and when she turned away, I let it fall.
I was really beginning to like her, even though I’d never admitted that to her. It was going to be hard to let her go. She was the first person, in as long as I could remember, that seemed to want to really know about me and be around me.
Something in the Water Page 11