by Melissa Hill
Mike continued to watch her intently, not wanting to interrupt, lost in her memory.
“Out of all the families I lived with, they were my favourite. They treated me like one of their own, and I guess I came to associate that kind of life with suburbia,” she chortled. “Kinda silly isn’t it?” She turned to look at Mike then, and her breath caught.
She couldn’t describe the look on his face. He seemed engrossed in what she was saying. His eyes were settled on her, but not intrusive, as if he was truly listening. Almost like he cared, which was ridiculous.
Mike didn’t know her - why would he care? Still, she couldn’t help but be transfixed by that look, and for the first time she realised, he wasn’t bad to look at.
His eyes were intense, piercing blue. Even with his face still, there was gentleness in his appearance, despite his overwhelming size, seated in a chair built for children.
“You’re staring,” Mike commented, his dimples showing.
Slightly startled she replied, “So are you.”
“I guess I found something nice to look at.” A soft snorted escaped him as Penny’s face reddened. “Yeah, that was corny,” he added.
Penny laughed harder. “Yes, it was.” She rose from her seat to collect Toby before he ate one of the fish. Mike followed.
“I was just thinking,” he said, standing beside her, waggling his fingers in front of Toby. “You’re only here for a few days. You should see the city before the real Christmas rush breaks in. How about I pick you up tomorrow and show you around Manhattan a little?”
Toby stretched out his arms, trying to get from Penny to Mike. She let him go as she considered the invitation. Mike hoisted the toddler above his head, making him giggle, before settling him in his arms.
Penny watched the exchange, which somehow, made her feel more at ease.
“What time?” she asked, laying a gentle hand upon Toby’s back.
He smiled. “Lunchtime sound good?”
“I’ll be ready.”
Chapter 7
Central Park was white.
A blanket of snow had fallen overnight, leaving behind a veritable wonderland. The soft powder blanketed everything as far as the eye could see, hanging from tree limbs and obscuring the grass and pathways, leaving only a few naked magnolia trees to contrast the down.
The sun sparkled against the snow, casting the scene in soft light, as families played together and lovers meandered hand-in-hand.
It was magical, and Penny was falling under its spell.
“Not what you were expecting?” Mike mused beside her, as he chewed his hotdog, which came with all the trimmings.
“No, definitely not what I expected,” she answered as they walked, their footfalls in synch. “I would never have pegged you for a hotdog kinda guy.”
“Gray’s Papaya isn’t just a hotdog. It’s an experience. One everyone who visits New York should have.”
Once again a small laugh erupted from some quiet place inside her, which had long lay dormant. It felt good. Really good.
Penny stuffed the last bit of her hotdog into her mouth, savouring the morsel. Mike had been right, a Gray’s hotdog was an experience. She crumpled the remnants into her palm, but halted abruptly as Mike’s encircled hers. Her breath hitched and her eyes widened, a slight shiver tracking up her arms.
“Let me.” Her fingers unfolded without protest, transferring the wrapper from her hand to his.
A small smirk played at Mike’s lips as he turned and tossed the wrappers in a nearby bin. She watched him silently before falling into step with him once more.
They walked in companionable silence, neither feeling the need to break it with conversation. Their steps weaved away and towards each other as they moved further into the park.
“It’s like walking in a snow globe,” Penny whispered to herself as she took in the beauty around her. Winter in New York was very different from winter in London. She couldn’t describe how it made her feel – warm, hopeful. She breathed deeply, holding on to the feeling, determining never to let it go, even when she had to go back home.
“Do you like horses?” Mike’s voice interrupted. There was a glint in his eye, a playfulness, as he spoke.
“Never really been around them. Why?” Her brow furrowed gently, even more when Mike grasped her hand and began marching towards a horse and carriage.
He couldn’t mean to –
“You will now,” he stated.
Penny’s stomach flipped, but she didn’t resist. Even as he spoke to the driver and offered her a hand to board the all-white buggy, which was lined in red velvet, she didn’t protest. Instead, she gripped his hand, looked into his eyes and smiled as she pulled herself up and settled upon the plush bench. Mike was beside her a moment later and they were off.
The moment the horse and carriage moved off Penny felt a thrill run through her. The stately ginger stallion pranced proudly as he pulled, black harness upon his back, his driver bedecked in black top hat and red tails – quintessentially Christmas, a Santa for Central Park, the carriage his sleigh.
“Who are you?” she mused, her head shaking lightly.
“What’d you mean?” Mike countered, shifting towards her.
“You took me for a hotdog lunch and now a carriage ride through Central Park. You’re like some actor from a movie or something.” She laughed openly. “I bet you even have the dream life here in New York too.” Penny’s laughter would have continued if it hadn’t been for the look in Mike’s eyes, a sadness.
The lump in Mike’s throat rose and fell as he swallowed down the memories. He may have wished for the dream life, but his was far from some pretty composition.
He hesitated to speak, searching Penny’s face for the answer, but finding it was something closer to his heart that had the reply. He looked away, focusing his eyes on the bobbing of the stallion’s head.
“I didn’t always live here Penny. I came out here to live with my uncle when I was thirteen,” he paused, then continued. “Like I said, I was raised in Minnesota, a little farm near Wright. Growing up there was wonderful.” He smiled, a sad smile.
Penny sat back, listening.
“It was me, my dad, my mom and my brother Nathan. Nathan was a great kid. He was two years younger than I was, and followed me around like a shadow. Everything I did, he had to do to. I fell, he fell. We were always together. My mother would warn me to watch out for him. And I did. I tried to. But I failed.”
“You don’t have to –” she whispered, her eyes fixed on the way his jaw tensed. She suddenly wanted to sooth that straining muscle with a stroke of her thumb. She resisted.
“It’s okay,” Mike interrupted, offering a weak smile in compensation. “It was a long time ago.”
He didn’t turn away, but avoided her gaze nonetheless.
“We were playing near the creek. Running over the rocks and jumping over logs, typical boy stuff. I was having such a great time, I didn’t notice the larger than normal splash from behind me. I just kept running. It was a while before I realised I couldn’t hear Nathan anymore.” His eyes rose to her face. “By the time I did, it was too late. He’d fallen in, hit his head. My parents sent me to my uncle a couple of months after the funeral. They divorced two years later.”
He turned, facing her. “When I said understood, about Tim, I meant it. If I’d known that you were going through that, I would have left you alone. All I wanted after Nathan died was for people to stop asking, and just let me be. It’s rough when you lose someone you love. Especially when you were powerless to prevent it – change it. I know that feeling. It took me a long time to get over it, as much as you can.”
“I’m sorry Mike.” The words left her mouth, even before she thought them. Her hand, like her lips, had acted on their own accord, reaching out to hold Mike’s as he spoke. “I had no idea.”
“Look, this isn’t what I brought you out here for,” again he offered a smile in recompense. “To share my life’s history. I wa
nted to show you how great life can be, when the sadness fades. And it does Penny. It may take a while, but you learn to live again. To let go and go on.” He squeezed her fingers gently. “There are moments like this to be had for you Penny. Carriage rides, great food and pretty decent company,” he mused lightly. “But only when you’re ready.”
She looked at Mike, unable to speak, his words piercing her, and she offered only a smile in return as sounds of the park surrounded them.
The silence that passed between them then, though tinted with some unspoken understanding, recognition of souls who had loved and lost, it sparked with something new.
His hand still holding hers.
Chapter 8
“You like her.”
“What?” Mike asked, over a pot of bubbling root vegetables. Ian and Penny were out Christmas shopping, and Toby was at his grandmother’s, leaving him and Kate alone.
“Just stating the obvious,” Kate replied as she set the table. “You like her. Penny, you do, admit it. I can tell. I can always tell these things.” She adjusted the water goblets, ensuring they were perfectly inline.
Mike smiled as he stirred gravy and tasted the rich brown liquid. “Doesn’t really matter, does it?”
“Of course it does. If you like Penny, and she likes you, then there’s a chance I can finally get her to move out here. You two can get married and Toby can have a god-brother.”
Mike almost choked on the gravy.
“Woah, what are you talking about? Aren’t you going a little fast Kate? I mean, Penny doesn’t even –“
“Yes she does. She doesn’t know it yet, but she does. She likes you too.”
The speed at which Kate crossed the room and stood beside him, must have been some kind of record, her manner conspiratorial. Mike wasn’t sure what to make of it.
“Kate?” he eyed her warily, checking the roast meat.
“Mike,” she smirked. “Since that little carriage ride of yours, I’ve heard nothing but questions about you. That’s the most she’s asked about anyone since Tim.” She touched his shoulder, turning him squarely in front of her. Her blue eyes were serious. “So, as her friend I have to say this.” Their eyes locked. “If you aren’t serious about my friend. If you in anyway doubt that you may be interested in her, then walk away now.”
“Excuse me?” His brow wrinkled.
“You heard me. Penny is my best friend. She’s been inside herself for three years since Tim, and she’s finally coming out. I won’t let you, or anyone, drive her back in. Understood?” She patted his cheek and grinned. “I love you Mike, as a brother, but I’d castrate you like Lorena Bobbitt if you hurt Penny. Got it.”
He nodded his head, shocked.
“Perfect! Now let’s have a very Merry Christmas and get you and Penny together, shall we?” With that, she turned on her heel and returned to her table setting, adjusting the knives.
Mike eyed her uncomfortably.
By the time Ian and Penny returned the table was set, the food was ready and the wine was chilling.
“We’re back!” Penny sang as she walked into the living room, boxes and bags in hand. “Something smells great.”
“Mike’s been cooking up a storm since you left,” Kate supplied as she sipped her wine, casually flipping through a magazine.
“You mean dinner isn’t take out?”
“No,” Mike’s voice drifted past her ear, the warmth tickling her cheek. “I did everything,” he stated as he passed with a basket of hot rolls.
She turned, watching him as he walked over to the table, and despite herself, she smiled.
I have to stop doing that.
She excused herself to put away her purchases, small tokens to take back home and special gifts for Penny, Ian and Toby. When she returned everyone was seated.
The meal was sumptuous, the conversation delightful and the company engaging. They talked and laughed at random, about the beard on the new Macy’s Santa Clause to Penny’s work with special needs children.
The conversation rolled on at will, the company unguarded. It was the freest she’d felt in a long time, being around people. Mostly Penny stayed to herself. Despite what she had first believed, this trip was turning out a lot better than she’d expected.
By ten o’clock Ian was loading the dishwasher, while Penny and Mike sat beside each other on the carpet, looking through old photo albums.
Kate watched them with satisfaction as she called her mother to check on Toby. Once assured that her son was well and asleep, she put her plan into action.
She yawned exaggeratedly. “Ian, I think we should head to bed now. I’m so tired.”
“What? It’s only ten –”
“Yes, but I’m sooo tired,” she stated, walking over to where he stood and giving him the look. It was one Ian knew well.
“Okay,” he stated as he put the last dish in and set the washer. “I guess we’re going to bed. Night guys.”
He and Kate headed towards the bedroom, while Penny and Mike watched silently as the door closed behind them.
Penny reacted first.
“She isn’t very subtle is she?”
Mike chuckled. “Not at all,” he replied, his eyes settling on her face. His arm was around her back, resting on the seat of what he’d dubbed her favourite chair, as they poured over photos of her and Kate as children.
“Should I go?” The question was loaded and he knew it. If she wanted him to leave he would, but something in the way she looked at him told him she didn’t.
“No,” was the gentle response that was interrupted with a demure smile. “I’d like it if you stayed.”
“Then I’ll stay.”
It may have been only seconds that their eyes were engaged, but in those moments, with those words spoken, Mike sensed that there was more in her invitation than simply a few extra minutes. It was an invitation into her life. An invitation he’d gladly accept.
“Can I get you another glass of wine?”
“Sure.”
He grabbed her glass and his and made his way to the kitchen to pour them another round. It was a fine merlot, medium bodied – a good year.
As he poured he watched Penny. She’d risen from the floor and stood by the tree, admiring the decorations. He couldn’t help but think that she looked liked she belonged there. She shouldn’t be going back to London. She belonged in a place like this, having Christmases like this with friends who loved her. She’d been closed-off for so long. He wanted to see her bloom.
“A toast?” He placed a glass in Penny’s hand.
“To what?”
“To the end of misunderstandings…and to getting to know each other better.”
His eyes sought out the willingness in hers and found it.
“To getting to know each other.”
Chapter 9
What was this feeling?
Every day since her arrival in New York, he’d been there. Dinner, decorating or just hanging out on the couch, Mike was there.
But today he wasn’t. And Penny couldn’t describe the feeling.
He wasn’t there at breakfast or at lunch. He wasn’t there when they sat down to watch It’s A Wonderful Life or A Miracle on 34th Street, her favourite Christmas movies.
She’d sat in her chair and ate pecan pie and ice cream, while Kate and Ian talked about the menu for Christmas dinner, but she couldn’t focus on the conversation or the movies.
When Kate announced the trip to Rockefeller Centre for Christmas Eve skating, Penny felt a moment of excitement, which somehow failed to crescendo.
She loved skating, at least watching skating, since God had granted her two left feet. Still she enjoyed it, even if it was just an observer – though Kate promised she’d change that.
However, she felt better as she dressed – slim fit jeans, a white shirt with a caramel coloured sweater, which matched her boots.
She even hummed as thoughts of Mike danced through her mind, when Kate said he’d be joining them. Then,
just as they were walking out the door, she announced that he wouldn’t be coming after all.
Penny hadn’t expected to be so disappointed. She hadn’t realised she’d wanted to see him as much as she did, until she wouldn’t.
As they travelled to the rink she found herself looking out the window hoping to catch a glimpse of him, though she knew it was unlikely. Ian said he’d had something important to do. She wondered what could be so important, but scolded herself for the thought.
Mike wasn’t her boyfriend. He could do whatever he liked. He was a grown man. A handsome man. With a voice she couldn’t shake and eyes that pierced her soul.
God help her, what was happening?
At the rink, Penny had attempted to remain the polite observer, but Kate wasn’t having it. After several laps with Ian, she sought he out, determined to get her on her feet and around the rink.
Ian settled in for what was sure to be an amusing display, leaning against the side for the best vantage point. His determined wife had established that she needed no help and he would happily oblige. He loved her tenacity, even when he knew he’d eventually have to step in.
Kate’s efforts to school Penny in the art of ice-skating was more amusing than could’ve been predicted. They huffed and puffed, groaned and teetered as Kate tried to support Penny’s taller frame while leading her.
Penny’s feet spread wide while her knees folded in one moment, then slide in front and behind like a scissors the next, while Kate clamoured to keep her upright. Ian folded over with laughter, the fountain illumining his white sweater in blue, purple and orange light.
However, his laughter halted at Kate’s exclamation. She’d lost hold of Penny, who was stumbling backwards. He watched powerless, as her feet slid out from under her and flew into the air. Squinting, he anticipated her connection with the ice.