Yours to Have: A Novella

by B. Love

  Her moans grew louder, but so did his when she told him, “Disappear in my pussy. Drown in it.”

  That encouraged Cade to go deeper. So deep her loud moans turned into quiet whimpers as her walls tightened against him. Slightly lifting her ass and hips higher off the bed, Cade hit that spot that was like a trigger. Her legs began to close around him, and before she could stop it, her body was heating all over as it locked against him. Paying special attention to the swelling ridges of her spot, Cade continued to deliver slow, long, and deep strokes that caused her orgasm to explosively rip from her body.

  “Look at that,” Cade ordered, spreading her legs wide as they slowly began to stop shaking. Her eyes were sealed shut. Breathing ragged. “Look at all that cum. This pussy so damn wet, Luna.” She pulled at her hair as the walls of her pussy wrapped even tighter around him.

  “Shut up, Cade,” she almost pleaded, knowing she was on the verge of a second orgasm produced by his words and the sound of his voice alone.

  “Look at this beautiful ass mess your pretty pussy has made. I got some good dick, huh?”

  Luna laughed, but it quickly turned into a moan when he pressed her knees into the bed by her ears and began to plunge fast and deep inside of her. Her hands went to his stomach, pushing gently as her orgasm began to quickly build.

  “What you pushing me for? I ain’t stopping.” In fact, he went deeper. And harder. “You want me to stop?” He slowed down. Pulling out nearly completely before plunging back inside.

  “No, Cade,” she whined, gripping the back of his thighs.

  “Beg me not to stop.”

  Whimpering quietly, Luna reached up and grabbed his neck, squeezing it with the amount of pressure she knew he liked. As she expected, he growled and turned into a beast, returning to the deep, soul snatching strokes that had her sprung years ago.

  “Please don’t stop. Make me cum, Sun.”

  And he did, but only once more before he was cumming himself. And he was mad as fuck about it, too. All Luna could do was laugh as he complained about her knowing his neck seemed to be directly attached to his dick. If she touched or kissed it, he’d get hard. And if she choked him while he was inside of her, he would cum almost immediately.

  Once they’d come down from their lovers high, they headed for the shower where they washed each other just to get dirty all over again with a quickie against the wall.

  “So what now?” Cade asked, head tilted as he watched her every move. He was only this attentive with Luna, unsure of how much time would pass before he saw her again. Because of that, he wanted to make every second of every minute of every hour of every fucking day count. From the things they said and the ways he made her body surrender to his will to the way he took mental pictures of literally everything she said and did.

  And this weekend meant more, because if he didn’t perform a miracle between them, it would be the last time he’d see her.

  With one shrug of her shoulder, Luna leaned against the wall next to the bathroom door. Was she afraid to get close to him?

  She was so damn beautiful. Even with her lavender and pink, shoulder length curly sue curls slightly frizzy from the shower, they still framed her square face perfectly. They were his favorite part of her. They were always big and bouncy, and some were pulled forward covering her forehead like a bang. The colors of her hair looked beautiful against her cinnamon brown skin.

  “I guess we can start with the exercises. Make the most of our time together.”

  Cade nodded and followed her into the living room. There, she took a folder out of her bag. Damn beast. He hadn’t even allowed the woman to get settled in good before he ravaged her. Cade couldn’t help but smile as he felt his dick harden, but he refused to let that happen again. Repositioning himself in his boxers and basketball shorts, Cade headed over to the money green couch and sat down.

  It was around fifty degrees outside and sixty in the room, but Cade didn’t plan to put on any other clothes. Not only did he like to feel free outside of work, but he knew how much the sight of his body and tattoos turned Luna on. It wasn’t a fair play, then again, all was fair in love and war.

  Her head was lowered as she walked over to the couch, keeping him from being able to look into her hazel eyes. That was fine, Cade took the time to look at every other beautiful feature on her face instead. From her medium sized pink and brown bowtie lips to her deep dimples, pierced, pointy nose, and chubby cheeks.

  Sitting back in his seat, Cade licked his lips as he eyed her slim frame. She was slim, but her hips and ass were wide. Cade didn’t know why but he liked that shit. Liked the way her pierced B cup breasts sit perfectly without a bra and bounced when she rode his dick.

  Shit.

  This was going to be harder than he thought – no pun intended.

  They’d gotten so used to spending their time together having sex that it seemed like everything she did turned him on. From the way she licked the corner of her mouth as she looked the contents over to the way she tugged her bottom lip into her mouth as she sat next to him. She smelled so damn good. The body wash and butter she used made her skin smell like melon and citrus, always making him want to nibble on some part of her body.

  Luna handed him the folder, smiling when she found his eyes already on her. Scratching his nostril, Cade looked over the list of intimacy types, exercises, and conversation starters.

  “Well, we definitely have no problem with number seven,” Cade announced, getting a giggle out of Luna. Number seven was sexual intimacy, and they were too good in that department. “So we are allowed to leave the room?”

  “Yes. And even though we’re supposed to spend this time together, if something important comes up…”

  “There is nothing more important to me than you.”

  Silence filled them for a while, but when Luna finally spoke it was to say, “I don’t understand why. I try my hardest to push you away. Give you the bare minimum, and you still stay.”

  Cade took her hand into his and brushed it with his thumb. “You don’t give me the bare minimum. You may not realize it, but every time you let me inside that pussy, I’m going straight to your heart and soul.”

  Giving the words time to settle within her mind and heart, Cade looked over the sheet again, deciding they would tackle aesthetic, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy today. Tomorrow, they would do recreational, physical, and emotional intimacy. The last day, they would have to choose between parting ways or making things official and spend their time together as a couple practicing unconditional intimacy.

  In agreement, Luna casually removed the folder from his hand before he could look too closely at the conversation starters. He knew her well enough to know that was her way of avoiding them. This was a big deal for her, for them, so Cade had no problem holding off on those questions. For tonight, he was content with the idea of having a conversation with her after what felt like forever.

  Sure, they made small talk while they were together, but it was never anything of substance.

  His eyes trailed down her frame, taking in how her body looked in the snug fitting gray, cotton one-piece jumpsuit she had on. It accentuated her hips and ass in a way that made it hard for Cade not to stare at her when she walked back over to her luggage. Trying to get his mind out of the gutter, Cade asked Luna if she was hungry. She was, so they decided to go to one of their favorite restaurants to talk. It was the only black owned soul food and seafood buffet in Memphis, serving both of their favorite kinds of food.

  Cade could live off seafood if he had to, and Luna was a soul food fanatic. He had no idea how she wasn’t much bigger than she was, but her hips, ass, and thighs were proof of her southern roots. Luna only wore her cotton jumpsuits inside, so she asked for a few minutes to change before they left. That was cool with Cade since he needed to dress and get his mind right himself.

  Deciding to dress casually, he put on a pair of light jeans, a white t-shirt, and a pair of Chinese New Year retro Air Jordan
13s. At the sight of them, Luna chose a pink loose-fitting sweater with tan leggings and her UGG boots.

  The ride to Sea Soul Buffet was fairly quiet. Every once in a while, they would comment on something happening in traffic or sing or rap along to what came on the radio. Even with there being no real, deep conversation between them, Cade was content because the mood was light. And he was happy. This was the first time they’d actually gone out in public together. Usually if they were hungry, they ordered in or ate at the restaurant in the hotel.

  Once they arrived, Luna waited for him to come to her side of the car to open the door of his Hellcat Challenger for her. They were alike in so many ways, they even had the same car. The only difference was his was black and hers was white. Taking her by the hand, Cade helped Luna out of the car. After closing the door, he pressed her against it, groaning deep within his throat at the sight of her smile.

  “I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you giving us this chance. I know you think you’ll get closure when all of this is over, but I’m happy to finally get to be your man again.”

  Her eyes and smile widened as she pushed him away. “You are mighty full of yourself there, Mr. Ingram.”

  Taking her hand into his and pulling her into his side, Cade led her across the parking lot and towards the front door. “I’m not full of myself; I’m sure of myself, and what we can have.”

  She didn’t go back and forth with him as Cade expected her to, and that was good. With it being an early Friday evening, the place was slightly packed. People were just now starting to get off work, so there was a ten-minute wait for a table. When they finally got one, they placed their drink orders then fixed their plates. While Cade loaded up on several different kinds of seafood, potatoes, and corn, Luna went for the classics like fried chicken, greens with cornbread, and mac and cheese.

  It was when they’d come back from fixing their second plates that they began to tackle the things on their list. They started with intellectual and aesthetic intimacy since they kind of revolved around the same things. The intellectual part revolved around them talking about things they were passionate about along with their favorite music, books, and movies, which led to them agreeing to binge watch thriller movies for their aesthetic intimacy when they made it back to the room.

  That was one thing about both of them that hadn’t changed – their love for thriller, crime, and action movies. While they were in college, they did the typical wine and dine type of dates, but some of their favorite moments together revolved around being in their apartments, curled up on the couch watching movies or dancing around to some good music while Cade smoked.

  Their conversation shifted naturally to their careers and how Luna was enjoying traveling on a monthly basis. Cade’s position called for him to be a bit more grounded, only having the time off he took to meet up with Luna. Realistically, he could have taken off more, but for what reason? Staying active and busy kept him from being tortured by his empty home. If he wasn’t coming to Memphis to see her or his family… there was no reason to take that time off.

  “So when was the last time you went on a real vacation?” Luna asked, sitting back in her seat.

  Not only was it a sign of her fullness but her comfort with him, and Cade couldn’t help but take note of that. She’d been smiling nonstop since they started talking, allowing the words and conversation to flow freely.

  “Shiddd,” Cade stretched, looking towards the ceiling as he counted the months in his head.

  “That long!” The sound of her shriek made them both laugh. “Yo!”

  “What!”

  “We said we would travel every month! I’ve kept my part of the deal.”

  Cade’s head shook and tilted. “I’ve done the solo travel thang, and while it’s peaceful and fun, there’s a time for it, you feel me? Now, I don’t feel the need to do it unless I’m bored as fuck or in need of an escape. I’m ready to go on baecations.” Her dimples dipped deeper and smile grew wider when he added, “Have your ass leaned over a balcony taking back shots while we stare out into the ocean somewhere.”

  Squeezing the curls in the back of her head, Luna whispered, “Cade. You are not making this easy.”

  “Making what easy? You leaving me?” His head shook as he slumped down in his seat. “I’m going to make that hell for you.”

  Her smile dropped as her head shook. “I know, that’s why I’ve avoided having these kinds of conversations and moments with you for so long. It’s easy to forget how much I love you and how close we used to be when all we’re doing is having sex. Even then… I couldn’t deny how your soul was attached to mine. No matter how hard I tried.”

  “So you’re admitting that you’ve pushed me away as long as you have because you know your heart belongs to me?”

  “Would you guys like a refill?”

  Cade hadn’t even noticed when the waitress that was handling their section walked back over to their table. Normally he was more aware of his surroundings, but in that moment, he didn’t even care. He couldn’t bear taking his eyes away from Luna for even a second – not when she was finally opening up to him.

  “We’re good,” he muttered quickly with a dismissive wave of his hand, but it didn’t matter, Luna had snapped out of it quickly.

  “Yes, please.” With a smile, she lifted her cup to the waitress and avoided his eyes. “So what’s next on the list? Spiritual intimacy?”

  “We aren’t done with the last one.”

  “I figure we could talk about our spiritual journeys over the years and maybe go to church together Sunday if we wake up in time.”

  “We’re back to this now?”

  Pinching the bridge of her nose, Luna released a heavy exhale that turned into a quiet chuckle. When she lowered her hand, the water in her eyes made Cade’s chest tighten.

  “I can’t do this, Cade. You know how I feel about being with a man that hurt me in the past.”

  “No, I don’t know how you feel, because you never have,” he gritted, sitting up in his seat. “Your mother had that trauma. That trigger. And trust me, I understand the desire to make it your own. Hell, I did the same thing with my own damn parents. Because my mother left us to finish school and fulfill her dreams, I vowed to never let a woman idolize love or me.”

  Cade reached across the table and lifted her head by her chin. “I never wanted to be so important to you that you lost sight of what was truly important in life, but that blinded me to just how important I was to your life. And I have regretted that for the past ten years, but you can’t sit there and say that I’ve done anything else to intentionally hurt you, Moon. I never have, and I swear to God I never will.”

  Smiling softly as the waitress put her drink back on the table, Luna looked everywhere but at Cade. Licking the corner of her mouth, she closed her eyes before taking in a deep breath.

  “There’s a lot of people waiting for tables, we should probably go.”

  As much as Cade wanted to finish their conversation, he let it ride. The night was nowhere near over, and they had two more days to break through the cage that held her trapped heart.

  Day 2

  Warning herself did Luna no good. She was not prepared for how good it would feel to experience Cade like this again. Things got a little heated after they left Sea Soul Buffet yesterday, but by the time they made it back to the hotel the mood had lightened. They ended up watching three movies before drifting off to sleep.

  This morning, they started the day with more physical intimacy by holding each other in bed. Afterwards, they showered together and washed each other, then held hands and stared into each other’s eyes for five minutes straight. When they were done, they headed to Another Broken Egg café for brunch, then moved on to recreational intimacy.

  They both were super competitive, so it was right up their alley to go to the new adult arcade downtown and play games and pool for a few hours. A few drinks in, Luna felt herself getting day tipsy, which she hadn’t done i
n she couldn’t remember how long. The freeness of being back home and spending time with Cade in this manner had been good for her soul. She’d literally tried to force herself to remain in her misery, but the truth of the matter was, God was granting them the chance to manifest a miracle, and Luna wanted to take full advantage of it.

  True, Cade breaking up with her crushed her heart, but it wasn’t out of malice or a lack of care for her. In fact, it was the complete opposite. He suffered himself being apart from her to make sure she was able to take care of her business in school – not too many people were that loving and selfless. And while it was easier to be angry… Luna couldn’t help but do as Cade said she would do years ago.

  His act had made her love him more… and that was why she’d been trying her hardest to keep her heart out of his hands.

  Because if he were to break it again…

  Covering her face, Luna inhaled a deep breath. Her left leg began to shake. Here she was, overthinking and preparing for the worst instead of staying in the best moment. And this was exactly why she didn’t like to dig into the memory of how good things used to be between them. Because those memories were always stained by the potential what if of pain. Anyone could say they wouldn’t hurt her again; her father had fed her mother the same lies. Where was the proof?

  Cade had no proof.

  No proof that they would end in happily ever after that included no pain.

  And being in control of their un-relationship was the only way Luna would remain in control of her heart.

  So as hard as it was, she would have to get through this weekend without falling even deeper for him.

  That settled it.

  “You in your head?”

  Luna dropped her hands at the sound of Cade’s voice and gave him a forced smile. “Yes,” she admittedly softly. “Thank you.”

  Her hands wrapped around the tea he’d placed within her reach before sitting next to her. She’d forgotten her usual blend at home, but he was ever thoughtful, packing a spare blend of lavender, lemon, and rose tea for her in his bag.