Yours to Have: A Novella

by B. Love

  Having heard enough, Cade lifted his body from the wall and headed for the living room. Sitting in the recliner next to the couch, Cade opened the Facebook app on his phone to try and busy himself until Luna came out of the bathroom. He couldn’t really focus on anything he was reading, so he opened the Instagram app to look at pictures instead.

  When Luna finally came out of the bathroom, she joined him in the living room and sat on the couch.

  “You ready to check out?” Cade asked, not even bothering to look up at her.

  He could, however, see Luna staring at him out of the corner of his eye.

  “Not really. I was gonna go see my sister and niece and nephew and spend some time with my mother, but I’m not too much in the mood anymore. You?”

  “Yea. The room is booked until the morning, so you can stay until then if you’d like.”

  Luna stood, walked over, and kneeled before him. She took his phone from his hand and placed it on the coffee table. Placing her hands on top of his thighs, Luna silently demanded his attention.

  “Will you stay with me? If this is going to be our last night together, I don’t want it to end with there being static between us.”

  Clenching his jaw, Cade released a loaded sigh as his head tilted. “And what do you want between us then, Luna?”

  “Nothing.” She smiled before licking her lips. “Nothing at all.”

  Before Cade could say anything else, her hands went to work unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. The act was reminiscent of the night they broke up.

  He… was trying to detach to spare pain.

  She… was trying to use sex to avoid conversation.

  Covering her hands with one of his, Cade used the other to tilt her head by her chin. He started to tell her to stand up and end this now, but the red, puffy eyes that stared back at him wouldn’t allow him to. Instead, he lowered himself to her and connected his lips with hers.

  She sighed into his mouth, and Cade had to pull away to avoid strangling her and asking what the hell was wrong with her. Why she allowed her mother to make her feel as if she was so damn weak. When truthfully, Luna was one of the strongest women he’d ever known. If he thought about this too much, his dick would start to soften, and that was the last thing he wanted to put her through again.

  Cade stared down at Luna as she pulled his shaft out of his boxers. She stared at it the same way she stared at him – with love. And adoration. That was partly why he never took her saying they would never be together again seriously. She loved his ass too damn much. And while love wasn’t everything, it was a solid foundation to ensure they could fix and overcome anything.

  “I’ve been waiting to do this all weekend,” she whispered, more to herself than him.

  Cade allowed his head to drop back onto the recliner. His eyes lowered, and he watched as she circled her tongue around the head. Then, she did what he loved most. She licked down his shaft and took him deep, down into her throat, touching his balls with the tip of her tongue. Her grip around his balls and the base of his shaft tightened as she squeezed her cheeks around his dick. Lifting up, Luna began to give him the best head of his life. It wasn’t too sloppy, but she had enough saliva coating him and her hand as it stroked him to have him muttering underneath his breath. It wasn’t too fast, but the speed of her mouth and hand was steady enough to have a nut building within him quickly. It was just right.

  And she knew it too.

  Because she looked up at him and winked before taking him deep into her throat again.

  “Fuck,” Cade groaned, tightening his grip around her curls. “You tryna suck the soul out my dick like you ain’t already got that shit.”

  She giggled, and the vibration only made her sucking feel better. Her free hand went to his balls, and she massaged them slowly as she continued to suck and stroke, setting him up for a hard orgasm that had him shooting his seeds all down her throat.

  Luna didn’t mind.

  She never did.

  She continued to suck as he jerked underneath her, not letting up until he pushed her away.

  This wasn’t how he saw their last night together going – with him carrying her over to the couch and spreading her legs wide. He thought they would have a nice family dinner at his parents place, go link up with her family, then part ways after confessing their love for one another. Maybe even meet up for a quickie in the morning before their flights headed out and discuss when they would next see each other.

  But instead of any of that happening, Cade was lifting her dress over her head, preparing to fuck her so deeply she would question where she ends and where he began. So deeply she’d never be able to become one with another man again. So deeply she’d feel shallow and hollow walking around without him. Missing that part of her that made life a little better. A little easier. More meaningful. And fun.

  Their eyes locked as he slowly made his way inside of her. Biting down on her bottom lip, Luna wrapped her legs around him. Her eyes fluttered as she inhaled a deep breath, but she maintained their eye contact in the way she knew he liked.

  “Caress your clit and play with your nipples,” he ordered, tugging her ass off the couch. “Slowly.”

  Doing as she was told, Luna used her left hand to massage her clit. She stuck her middle finger into his mouth and wet it before circling it around her hardened nipple. As soon as she did, her eyes closed, and she was biting down on her lip again. Moans began to pour from her mouth as her back arched.

  Cade memorized every face she made. Every sound she uttered. Luna went from teasing her nipples to squeezing her breasts, locking her legs around him tighter. She opened her eyes, smiling when she saw that his were already on her.

  “Cade,” she moaned, using his tie to pull him down to her. Luna waited until their noses were touching to confess, “I love you.”

  As soon as he opened his mouth, she kissed him.

  He’d waited years to hear her say that again.

  Why did she have to say that now?

  Now that he’d finally come to peace with her leaving him.

  Since she wouldn’t allow him to vocally respond, Cade showed her with his kisses and his strokes just how much he loved her too. Needing more room, he lifted her off the couch and carried her to the bed… no longer sure of what would be his next move.

  The moment Luna’s eyes opened, she felt that something had shifted. She didn’t have to feel his side of the bed to know that it had grown cold. That she was alone. Squeezing her eyes shut, Luna inhaled a deep, shaky breath.

  When she first arrived, she had every intention of gaining closure and letting Cade go. Mentally. But in her heart… there was no part of her that believed that would actually happen. Things were going so, so good, but the moment she heard her mother’s voice, reality set in, reminding her yet again that it wouldn’t be as easy to make a relationship work with Cade or any other man for that matter.

  She called Macy, and even though their conversation didn’t make her one hundred percent secure… she felt a little better. Enough to not run away, even though it was clear Cade had begun to slip away from her. And hell, she couldn’t blame him. For ten years straight he’d put up with her bullshit with no fight for this very moment. This moment of Luna finally being ready. And after literally seventy-two hours of them putting in the work… she allowed one three-minute call with her mother to almost destroy it.

  With a sigh, Luna’s eyes opened as she sat up on the side of the bed. Gripping the edges of it, she looked into the bathroom, heart dropping at the lack of Cade’s toiletries on top of the sink. Standing, she slowly turned to his side of the bed. Clutching her heart, her eyes watered at the sight of his moon necklace laying on top of the pillow.

  They’d promised that they would never take those necklaces off until they were completely done with each other.

  For years, she’d told him he was hers to have, not to keep. And now that he was finally done with her, she ached for something to bond them together permanen
tly.

  Who was she fooling?

  Thinking she could live without him.

  Her head shook, and she released a heavy chuckle as her tears flowed. Walking over to his side of the bed, Luna thought over what she’d done to put herself in this position. The pedestal of perfection she’d placed Cade on had broken the moment he broke up with her. It was her fault, honestly, thinking he was incapable of doing wrong. And it was only because he seemed to be the total and complete opposite of her father.

  Because of their differences, Luna was sure they would last forever. That he would never do anything to hurt her heart. The potential of him far outweighed the pain of her parents union.

  Until he showed her that he was human.

  One who cared about and wanted what was best for her, but human no less.

  Picking the necklace up, Luna clasped it with her fist tightly and placed it on her chest. On her heart. Her eyes closed as she inhaled a deep breath. Her worst fear had come true – the only man she’d ever really loved and received love from back had left her.

  She waited for that same pain to fill her. But it didn’t.

  Her eyes opened, and she waited for more tears to fall, but they didn’t.

  She expected rage to fill her and make her never want to deal with another man again. But it didn’t.

  Her hand opened, and she looked down at the necklace, waiting for some type of ill feeling to fill her towards Cade. But they didn’t.

  The pain from ten years ago… acted as some type of… lesson. Buffer. To keep her from breaking all over again. Losing Cade in this moment didn’t make her weak, because losing him the first time forced her to find her own strength.

  And it was in this moment that she realized that she very well could live without him. Or any other man for that matter. She could live her life in singleness if she wanted to and be content. She could love and be loved… or not experience it at all. There was no addictive, attached need for love filling her so much so that she felt the need to settle for less as her mother did.

  That revelation caused Luna to plop back down on the bed.

  What happened to her mother would never happen to her. They were two completely different women. Loving two completely different men. And now that she finally had come to grips with that fact… Luna finally felt safe enough to fall in love with Cade again.

  Now… she could only pray that it wasn’t too late.

  Seemed crazy when the thing you loved the most was a detriment.

  When the hand you wanted to hold most was just a weapon wrapped in skin.

  It didn’t matter what it would have taken, Cade would have done absolutely anything to prove to Luna that he was worthy of her. That she could trust him with her. But hearing her express her concerns with her therapist showed Cade that that wasn’t the true root of the problem. It didn’t matter what he said or did, until Luna released the weight of her parent’s relationship, she would never have a healthy relationship with him or anyone else.

  Yea, Cade had his mommy issues. Hell, those issues were the reason he broke up with her to begin with. When Christina left him and his siblings, Cade didn’t know when or if she would ever come back. But she did, seven years later, and he couldn’t believe his father allowed her to come home. Not only did he allow her to come home, but he welcomed her back with open arms.

  At first, Cade was angry. As the oldest of his siblings, he felt the deepest surge of pain by her absence. Instead of being happy that she was back, he was angry that she’d left to begin with. But it took a conversation with his father and a breakdown of the story in the bible about the prodigal son that Cade began to understand how his father was able to love and accept his mother and her return home unconditionally.

  Cade was fully prepared to do the same with Luna, especially since he was the one who had pushed her away in the first place. It didn’t matter if one, ten, or one hundred years had passed – there was no doubt in his mind that he was the best man for her. But Luna would have to see that for herself. And Cade couldn’t wait around any longer for her to do so.

  It felt like déjà vu leaving her again. This time, though, it was for himself… not for her. This time, he needed to prove to himself that he was worth more. If Luna couldn’t see that, it would be her loss until her vision was clear. And all he could do was pray that that didn’t take long.

  At the feel of his phone vibrating in his pocket, Cade pulled it out, smiling at the sight of his mother’s name. She was probably calling to scold him for not stopping by to say goodbye before he left for the airport, and Cade wouldn’t have any other choice but to let her have that.

  “What’s up, Ma?”

  “Jada is looking for you. She called Mother Bessie to ask her to ask me for your number. I didn’t feel comfortable giving it to her, so I got hers for you instead.”

  “Jada,” Cade repeated, sitting up in his seat. “The hel– heck she want my number for?”

  “I don’t know, baby. You’ll have to just call her and see.”

  Cade listened intently as Christina rattled off Luna’s mother’s number. He disconnected the call and quickly dialed to make sure he didn’t forget. Jada picked up on the second ring, and the sadness in her voice was evident. Immediately, Cade stood to his feet. All he could think about was something bad happening to Luna and not being there for her.

  “Where’s Luna? Is everything alright?”

  “She’s… fine. She stopped by my place and basically put me in my place. Told me if I didn’t stop giving her input on her love life and trying to compare the men she dated to her father that she would cut me off. I didn’t realize how much I was keeping her from the love she desired until today, but I see that now.”

  Cade weightlessly sat back down in his seat, in total disbelief of what he was hearing. Luna hardly ever stood up to her mother. Even when she knew what Jada was saying or doing was wrong, she still kept her mouth shut out of blind respect.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “That girl loves you, Cade. As much as she can.” Jada chuckled. “She could probably love you more had it not been for me. I don’t know if she’ll have the courage to come to you, but if she does, I need you to promise me that you will do right by my baby.”

  “Ms. Thompson…”

  “Promise me.”

  The shakiness of her voice caused Cade to shut his eyes. He hated it when women cried. Nodding, Cade inhaled a deep breath and opened his eyes.

  “I promise. I’m done chasing her, but if Lu comes to me… I’ll spend the rest of my days giving her the love she deserves.”

  After letting out a few sniffles, Jada thanked him and ended the call. As Cade slipped his phone back into his pocket, he inhaled a deep breath. His nostrils were filled with the scent of melon and citrus. Smiling softly, he shook his head, figuring he was losing his mind. Because there was no way Luna was in the same vicinity as him.

  “I… think I have something that belongs to you.”

  At the sound of her voice, his smile widened. Not turning to face her right away, Cade took in a few breaths and tried to steady his rapidly beating heart. When he felt as if it was safe to do so, he stood and turned to face her.

  That cinnamon skin.

  Those lavender and pink curls.

  Those deep dimples and hazel eyes.

  God.

  How did he think he could live without seeing this beautiful face every day?

  That warm smile.

  Glowing eyes.

  Nah.

  He needed that shit on the regular.

  Biting down on her bottom lip, Luna held the moon necklace out in his direction. His head shook as he decided not to make this too easy for her.

  “What do I need that for? You’ve made it clear that you don’t want to be mine to have.”

  Though her smile wavered, it lingered in a smaller, more comfortable placement.

  “You’re right… I’m not yours to have.” Her arm lowered and she closed the spac
e between them. “I’m yours to keep.” His head tilted as his stance relaxed. “All this time, Cade, I’ve been trying to convince myself that I couldn’t be with you because I couldn’t be sure if you wouldn’t hurt me. But that’s not my concern. It doesn’t matter how good I am to you or any other man; if you’re going to leave or cheat, you’re going to leave or cheat. All I can do is be the best woman I can possibly be.

  “If you appreciate and value that great. If not, I’ll be able to say it wasn’t my fault because I gave it my all. I can’t live my life for my mother. For her pain. It isn’t mine to carry, and I’ve finally released it.” Luna paused and took in a deep breath as she opened his hand and placed the necklace inside. “In doing so, I’ve made room for you. And I know I have some nerve for taking this long…” She giggled in the cutest way that made his heart skip a beat. “But if you give me a chance… I promise you I’ll show you I was worth the wait.”

  Cade looked from her to the necklace she’d placed in his hand. She looked up at him intently. Patiently. Waiting for an answer. With a shake of his head, Cade gave the necklace back. He saw her shoulders cave as he slowly turned.

  Sitting back down, he told her, “Put it on me.”

  Her hand covered her mouth as her eyes watered. With a nod, she walked over to him as Cade laughed. Luna blinked rapidly until her tears dried up. When they did, she placed a kiss on his cheek before putting the necklace back where it rightfully belonged. Once Luna had the necklace wrapped securely around his neck, she ran her hand down the back of it and placed a kiss to the top of his head.