Safe Hex: A Hexy Witch Mystery (Womby's School for Wayward Witches Book 16)

by Sarina Dorie

  The maid glanced from me to Elric.

  Elric smiled at the young woman serving our food. “That will be all, Marabel.”

  She backed away.

  He waited for her to exit and close the door behind her before he resumed our conversation. “I didn’t push him out. He needed some time to himself in his private chamber to recuperate.”

  “Please don’t say you sent him to a dungeon.”

  “I didn’t send him. He went to his dungeon voluntarily.” Elric grinned.

  I couldn’t tell whether he was teasing or not about the dungeon.

  I rearranged the napkin on my lap. “What’s wrong with Felix?”

  He arranged his cutlery, not meeting my eyes. “Hasn’t he told you?”

  “He said he was drained.”

  “He was.” He surveyed the contents of lunch: fruit and vegetable salad with a creamy sauce and cheese bread baked into little dishes. “This looks delicious, doesn’t it?”

  I threw up my hands in exasperation. “Are you going to avoid telling me this too?”

  “I’m trying to decide if I’m contractually obligated to keep this secret for him. No, I don’t think I am.” He nodded as if deciding. “He’s weak and needs to recharge himself, much like you do, only his magical way of recharging himself isn’t as pleasant as it is for you, is it now?”

  “So he is in a dungeon?”

  “A basement. He requested it. He thought it might dampen the sounds.” Elric shrugged. “Does that satisfy your feminine curiosity?”

  “He won’t let me leave this room,” I said, testing for his reaction.

  “That beast!” he said with mock anger. “Is he keeping you prisoner here?”

  “Are you keeping me a prisoner for some reason?”

  Elric placed a hand on his chest, his false indignation turning to true displeasure. “Why would you think that?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe because you won’t let me out.”

  “If you feel up for it tonight, you shall have dinner with Vega and me. Tomorrow I can take you on a tour of the estate and introduce you to the staff. If you don’t feel too taxed from the excursion, you can go for a walk with Vega, but not tonight, love.”

  “Because you’ll have to have sex with me if I overtax myself?”

  “You make it sound like a chore!” He stabbed a piece of apple in his salad. “I should hope you would realize by now that I like being intimate with you.”

  “But for some reason you don’t want to.” I could get why Felix Thatch didn’t want Elric to touch me. It was Elric’s reasoning I couldn’t fathom.

  Elric laughed. “I think you forget. I’m a married man now. I have obligations to someone else.”

  “You said Vega didn’t care.”

  “No. I believe I said not to fret over Vega and that I would handle the situation. She quite understands it was necessary to cure you with touch magic. However, she also told me she would cut off my . . .ahem . . . manhood and boil it and serve it to me for dinner should I touch you without it being absolutely necessary. Truly, her creativity can be so morbid when she’s feeling vengeful.”

  I felt simultaneously better and worse. I could understand his reason for not wanting to give me another dose of magic since Vega was clearly not happy about it. At the same time, I felt worse that his cure for me had hurt her. If he felt guilt, he did a better job of hiding it than I did.

  I determined I would do whatever it took to recover. If I had to sit inside and rest, I would. On the other hand, I could rest at Womby’s. I could put my magic wand—or vibrator—to good use and fuel my own affinity.

  Yet I was here for a reason. “So I’m really not a prisoner? I can leave if I want.”

  “Do you wish to leave? After I’ve tried to provide you with such a comfortable space?” He waved a fork at the room. “Furthermore, do you think that would be a wise idea? Leaving in your condition?”

  “I just don’t like the feeling that I’m . . . trapped.”

  He reached across the table and patted my hand. “Do you think it’s all that time you’re cooped up in here with He Who Shall Not Be Named? He can be such a . . . what does Vega call him? A negative Nancy?”

  I laughed at that. “I’m surprised that’s all she called him.”

  “It wasn’t. She has a few more choice names for him, which I dare not repeat.”

  I dug some of the cheesy bread out of the bowl, realizing it was a cheese and bacon soufflé.

  “Oh, wow!” I said. It had to be the best soufflé I’d ever tasted. My eyes rolled back into my head at the heaven in my mouth.

  “See, I knew I could tempt to you the dark side,” he said with a wink. “Some people are willing to sell their soul for a bite of Turkish delight. For some, all it takes is bacon.” He nudged my foot with his. “I now know your weakness. You’d better guard your soul.”

  I kicked him back. I hoped he was joking.

  Dinner was probably as delicious as lunch, but all I could think about was Vega sitting across from me. At least that distracted me from uncomfortable shoes and the stiffness of my gown. It was fancier than the day dress I’d worn the day before, an evening gown with a high waist and covered in beads. The fabric was iridescent. I would have believed it was made of butterfly wings and magic, but the lady’s maid had assured me it was crafted from silk and glass beads.

  Vega wore pink. That alone was shocking enough.

  The silk gown sparkled with beads and sequins like an Edwardian evening gown but resembled something older because of the Victorian-style puff sleeves, the high waist like a Regency gown, and the spiked collar that was . . . out of place in any era. I’d never imagined Vega would wear such a monstrosity, but maybe she liked it.

  It was a horrible color with her complexion, and I knew she hated pink. Every once in a while, I caught sight of her in my peripheral vision. She looked gray-green like a dead zombie from a movie. But her hair looked nice. It was long and pinned up, with curls cascading down her back. She wasn’t as gaunt as she’d been before my wedding. Her dress showed off cleavage, and her face looked fuller and healthier despite the ashen complexion.

  I tried to focus on the positive. “Your hair looks pretty like that.”

  She pretended not to hear me.

  Elric tried to make cheerful conversation, but Thatch said little. I tried to muddle my way through polite topics, but I kept sneaking peeks at Vega, who glared daggers at everyone. She stabbed each morsel of food as though it were her enemy’s heart.

  After dinner and dessert, a manservant brought out wine and cigars. Vega stood. She looked to me and then Elric. “I believe we are done here.”

  From watching Downton Abbey, I suspected it was time to retire to the parlor. Elric stood and made as if to follow. I stood. Thatch remained in his seat.

  Vega put up a finger to stop Elric. “Oh no. I think not. You are going to sit here and enjoy company with the guest you invited into our home.” She took my arm. “We ladies need our private time alone without the gentlemen. Isn’t that what you always tell me when you invite guests over— and I’m forced to entertain your Fae friends who would drain me just as soon as they’d listen to my enchanting conversation if you weren’t in the next room?” She spoke so sweetly I wouldn’t have known she wanted to kill someone if I hadn’t listened to her words.

  She batted her eyelashes at him. Thatch dropped his head in his hands mournfully. He was obviously not going to be any help.

  “Maybe I should go up to my room.” I said. “I’m starting to feel—”

  Vega stomped on my foot, cutting off my words. The shoes were already too tight and uncomfortable. The pain of her heel almost made me drop, but she held on to me tightly.

  “Don’t overtax Mrs. Thatch’s stamina,” Elric said, sounding formal as he used my married name.

  “You don’t need to remind me, dear.” She smiled through clenched teeth.

  A servant opened
the doors to the next room. Vega walked slowly for me at least. She closed the door behind her, making a face at Elric. Once we were alone, she didn’t hold back from shoving me onto a love seat, none too gently.

  She jabbed a finger at me just like she would have in the good old days. “I demand to know what all this is about.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t ask for any of this.” Tears filled my eyes. “Elric and Thatch both said I wouldn’t be able to walk again if I didn’t sleep with Elric. I wasn’t trying to—”

  “Stop your sniveling. You’re going to make me vomit.” She balled up her fists.

  “I wouldn’t have done it if I’d known it would upset you.”

  “Yes, you would have. I would have.” She crossed her arms, looking me up and down. “And for your information, I already know why he fucked you. He explained that part.”

  “Oh. I see.” Actually, I didn’t. I thought that was what she wanted to know. “So he explained I needed touch magic to be cured? And Felix couldn’t do it? He told you that?” I wanted to make sure we were on the same page.

  “I’m not saying I’m happy about it, but I can understand it.” She plopped onto the cushioned chair next to the love seat and dismissively waved a hand at the doors where we’d exited. “Elric and I entered a contract upon our marriage. You were one of the stipulations. He’d already promised to protect you and be your friend no matter what. I knew being fuck buddies would probably be part of that supposed friendship. It also happens he has some contractual consequences he owes me since he broke our agreement of fidelity.”

  It was oddly jarring to see this woman in her mismatched period gown swearing.

  “Are you going to divorce him?”

  She laughed at that. “In his dreams! He’s stuck with me, as much as he’d like to be free of our agreement.” She crossed her arms, her smile smug. “The deal is, I get to cheat on him now, with whomever I want. It’s quite refreshing to know I have one up on him.”

  “Right. Because that’s how a good marriage works.”

  “Don’t give me that attitude. You cheated on your husband too.”

  I stared down at my lap. “I know.”

  “Felix Thatch deserves to cheat on you to even up the score.”

  I nodded, wondering what I could do to make it up to my husband. I didn’t think he would cheat on me, but he surely would resent me.

  She smacked me on the arm. “It isn’t becoming to mope. Thatch will get over it.”

  The doors rattled. Vega smiled. A knock thudded against the wood.

  Elric’s voice came, muffled from the other side. “Vega, please tell me you didn’t use magic to lock me out of my own parlor.”

  Vega laughed and held up a key. She had been sneaky. I hadn’t noticed her lock the door.

  The door rattled again.

  “Why doesn’t he just unlock it with magic?” I asked.

  “He can if he wants to, but he’s trying to conserve all his magic for emergencies. Like you.” She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know if you noticed, but this is hardly his father’s palace. It’s not even his castle. It’s an estate.” She groaned. “When I agreed to marry him, he told me we would live in a castle. Not a cottage. Not a mansion. A castle.”

  I hadn’t seen all of it yet, but I was fairly certain this was a small palace, not a cottage. “He said it’s more private here.” I glanced out the window at the darkness. “Does this have something to do with wanting the Silver Court not to know I’m here?”

  “The location, yes. The size, no. It has to do with Elric’s father disinheriting him because he divorced his sister.”

  “I thought Elric said Quenylda was dead.”

  She was silent a long moment, studying me. “Indeed, but this was before that. I told him I wasn’t going to be second.”

  I stared at Vega in awe. “You convinced Elric to divorce his Fae wife?”

  “I told him I would agree to marry him if I was his only wife. It was the one way to ensure my safety, really.”

  “What about Constance?” I asked. Elric’s previous Witchkin wife looked like she was ninety, though considering how Witchkin aged, she might have been older. She’d been quite upset when Quenylda had taunted her and told her Elric had taken me as a lover. I hadn’t known about her until then and pitied her. “Please tell me you didn’t make Elric divorce her.”

  “Technically, he’s still married to her, but it wasn’t a legal contract to begin with, so I don’t count it against him. She’s here in the estate. I visit her from time to time. She thinks I’m one of Elric’s grandchildren.” She sat up, eyes flashing momentarily as she surveyed the elegant parlor. “I have been quite generous in my compromises. And this is what I get for my efforts. I thought I was going to get to be a princess out of this marriage and be a billionaire’s wife. Instead we must conserve magic, money, and live in hiding. It’s like my childhood all over again.”

  I was still awed that Elric had divorced his manipulative sister-wife. “Elric must have had a hundred human wives and mistresses, but none of them could get him to divorce Quenylda. It must be because he loves you so much.”

  Vega lounged back in her chair. “The number is thirty-six to be exact. And I doubt he did it out of love. A hundred years of celibacy will change a man and give him a different perspective on marriage and children.”

  “I don’t think the wood-nymph massages count as celibacy.”

  She shrugged. “I don’t count those against him. He can have as many happy endings during his massage sessions as he wants as long as I get them too.”

  I wondered if the real reason Elric had divorced his sister-wife was because she had tried to kill Vega and me.

  “So Elric has downsized his lifestyle? Does that mean he doesn’t have all those bodyguards anymore?” Fewer resources would make sense why he’d been wearing his crown for healing if he didn’t have others he could draw magic from. It would make sense why he had been so persnickety about Thatch ruining his wards.

  “Elric still has some of them. The most loyal of his staff stayed with him, including that yummy Captain Errol.”

  I had never found Captain Errol particularly “yummy,” but that might have been because of how often he glared at me.

  The door rattled again.

  Elric’s voice rose through the muffled door. “That isn’t the right key. Vega might have killed Clarissa by now.”

  Thatch said something too quietly to hear.

  “I’m fine,” I called.

  Vega chuckled, sounding as evil as the Raven Queen. A hint of memory nudged my brain. I could almost grasp it but not quite. I focused on Vega, who watched me with narrowed eyes.

  “So . . . it sounds like you can live with . . . you know, what Elric and I did.” I swallowed, not wanting to push my luck. “What was all that about demanding to know what I’d done with Elric?”

  “That isn’t what I asked. I wanted to know how you came to be here in the first place. What happened to you?”

  “Don’t you know?” I asked.

  “No. No one tells me anything.” She stuck her nose into the air, avoiding my gaze. This had to be one of her tricks to get to me. Surely she knew about Thatch and Elric keeping secrets from me.

  “I think you do. You’re lying to me just like everyone else does—only you want to rub it in.”

  “I am not! They wouldn’t permit me to see you when Thatch brought you here. I had to learn from the servants how messed up you were. My husband used magic to keep me out of your room where you were healing for fear it would upset me ‘in my delicate condition.’ As if I’m a little hothouse orchid that needs his protection.”

  My gaze flickered to her slender waistline. She wasn’t pregnant now. I had thought she’d miscarried, but apparently she hadn’t. My brain grew more muddled as I tried to recall my wedding and what had happened to her. I wasn’t certain what had happened to me.

  “When will I get to see your .
. . baby?” I tried out the words, afraid that maybe she hadn’t had a baby.

  “Oh, you’ll see the little monster eventually. Or hear him. Usually at three in the morning.” She glowered. “Just because I’m a mother now doesn’t make me any less able to handle the sight of blood, emergencies, and magical catastrophes. Unlike you.”

  I could see where Vega’s anger came from. She wasn’t evading telling me the truth because she didn’t want me to know the truth. It was because her own husband had kept her in the dark.

  “I thought you were . . . mad at me and keeping the truth from me out of spite because of how Elric had to . . . cure me.” I avoided her gaze. I leaned forward, readjusting my stocking and poking at my heel in an attempt to make the shoe more comfortable.

  “I am mad at you.” She snorted. “But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t tell you a secret Elric is keeping from you.” Her lips twisted into a smile. “Unless he paid me, and he knows my silence isn’t cheap.”

  “Thatch wouldn’t tell me what’s going on either. I just know they made a bargain.”

  She drummed her fingers on the end table. “So they agree on something? That’s a clue right there.”

  I removed my shoe, smoothed out my stocking again, and replaced it on my foot. “A clue for what?”

  An arched eyebrow lifted. “That you should be snooping around trying to find out the answers.”

  I laughed. “Does that mean I’m going to have to pay you to help me find out the truth?”

  “I might be enticed to find out what happened without bribery. It would be a fun way to irritate my husband. On the other hand, I could also find out the truth and not tell you. That would be a welcome way to irritate you.”

  Two could play at this game. “And do you know what I could do that might irritate you?” I grinned. “I’ve never seen you wear pink before.”

  Her spine stiffened. At any moment she looked as if she might pounce.

  “That’s an interesting dress.”

  “It was a gift. I have to wear it at least once, or else it will hurt Elric’s feelings. Then I can gift it to someone else.”