The Highlander and the Wallflower

by Michelle Willingham

  He hadn’t realised how the loneliness had crept into his life until now. The house felt different with her here, as if she could somehow silence the ghosts that haunted him. Her smile gave him hope, and he didn’t want to lose that. If that meant upholding the boundaries and the closed doors, so be it.

  Dalton waited for her in the dining room, and when she arrived, he greeted her. ‘Good morning.’

  ‘Good morning.’ Her red hair was pinned up, and she wore one of his mother’s morning gowns in a shade of deep green. It brought out the blue in Regina’s eyes, and though the gown was slightly loose and a little short, she was lovely. ‘Will we go riding today?’

  ‘We will. My grandfather lives a short distance from here, and I thought we could pay him a call.’

  She sat at the table and chose a piece of toast to go with her egg. ‘Why doesn’t he live here, in this house? You said he owns the land.’

  ‘His memory is failing him, and he grew overwhelmed by all the space. He lives with a caretaker in a small house, and it’s easier for him.’ Dalton sat across from her at the table and tapped into his soft-boiled egg.

  ‘I look forward to meeting him.’

  There was a silence that descended as they ate. He tried to think of what else to say, but she appeared lost in thought.

  Then a moment later, she continued, ‘But perhaps it’s best if you do not tell him of our false marriage. We wouldn’t want to upset him needlessly.’

  Though her words were intended as compassion, it underscored a truth he didn’t want to face.

  She doesn’t want to be married to you. This isn’t real or permanent.

  He revealed none of his thoughts or emotions, locking away his feelings. Her pity was the last thing he needed.

  One of the footmen arrived and cleared his throat. ‘My lord, the...um...wedding gift you requested has arrived.’

  The man’s timing couldn’t have been worse. Dalton merely gave a nod and pretended as if the footman hadn’t spoken. But Regina set down her fork. ‘What wedding gift?’

  ‘It’s nothing,’ he said. ‘I shouldn’t have sent for it.’

  But he’d caught her curiosity now, and she asked, ‘May I see it?’ He shrugged, and she continued, saying, ‘I’m so sorry I have nothing for you in return.’

  ‘It’s all right.’ He wanted to say that being married to her was his gift. Simply seeing her each day, being with her, meant everything. But he held back the words, not wanting to seem desperate.

  ‘Is there something you want?’ she ventured. ‘Something I can give to you?’

  The words were innocent, but they awakened a storm within him. He couldn’t tell her what he wanted, and he wasn’t about to risk frightening her.

  She stood from her chair and chose the seat beside him. ‘Dalton?’

  He met her gaze, letting her see the full force of his desire. His fingers dug into his chair to keep from reaching for her.

  Her blue eyes were staring at him, and he didn’t miss her uncertainty. She looked like a deer, caught by the hunter, waiting to flee. And yet, she held steady, watching him.

  ‘I’ll give the gift to you after breakfast,’ he promised. It was her invitation to go.

  But instead, she reached to his face and rested her hand upon his cheek. Softly, she bent down and touched her lips to his. A yearning rushed through him, and he caught her hand, holding it. He wanted her touch everywhere, against his bare skin, exploring and caressing him. He was iron hard with need, but he managed to gather his control again.

  ‘Regina, don’t,’ he warned, rising to his feet.

  His words humiliated her, and she turned scarlet. ‘I’m sorry.’ She tried to pull away, but he held her hand steady, bringing it to his chest.

  ‘You said you wanted this to be temporary, and I am doing everything I can to grant that wish. But I want more.’

  He didn’t know if she could feel his heart racing. ‘I’m trying to give you that freedom of choice.’ With her hand in his, he leaned in so that her mouth was a breath away. ‘But unless you want this to become a permanent marriage, don’t offer me anything at all. Because I’ll take everything.’

  Her eyes widened in shock, but she held her ground. ‘You don’t want a woman like me, Dalton. I’m trying to do the right thing by not trapping you into marriage. I know I’ll have to let you go.’

  ‘Why?’

  She shook her head, avoiding an answer. ‘It’s in the past, and I won’t speak of it. But be assured, you don’t want to be married to me.’ With reluctance, she lowered her hands to her sides.

  He realised that he was starting to crack the surface of her fears. ‘What happened to you, Regina?’

  She stiffened at his nearness. ‘It’s in the past, and there it will stay.’

  Her fear was palpable, and he didn’t press for more. ‘If that’s what you want.’ Though he wanted to hold her, to reassure her, he stepped away instead. She appeared miserable, and he steeled himself not to show a reaction.

  Instead, he checked his pocket watch. ‘We should go and meet Grandfather. He’ll be wanting to see you.’ Her face remained worried, but he thought it best to abandon the subject. ‘Do you still want to go?’

  She nodded. Dalton offered his arm and then after she took it, he said, ‘I’ll show your wedding gift to you, just before we leave.’ As they passed MacLachor, Dalton murmured, ‘Go and fetch the gift for my wife. She is ready now.’

  * * *

  Regina waited in the hall beside Dalton, feeling utterly bereft and confused. For so long, she had believed she could never be the wife he wanted. He would want children one day, and she didn’t want to see his face transform with irritation or loathing. But she couldn’t deny that he made her yearn for a different life, one where she could be whole again.

  When she heard the patter of paws approaching, she turned and saw a dog that made her heart melt. ‘This is your wedding gift,’ Dalton said. ‘He’s still very young, nearly a year old.’

  Regina could hardly speak, for she was overcome by joy as she knelt down. The dog’s golden fur was silken, and he licked her fingers as if searching for hidden treats. ‘He’s mine?’

  ‘He is. I remember how much you enjoyed dogs when I brought you the pug in London.’

  ‘I’ve always wanted a dog. I love him.’ Happy tears came to her eyes, and she brushed them away. But more than that, she realised that Dalton truly did care about her if he had brought her such a gift. She stood, needing him to understand how very much this meant to her. Though she kept the leather lead in her hand, she reached out and squeezed his hand. ‘I have never had a nicer gift.’

  He continued holding her hand, his gaze intent upon hers. It evoked the memory of his mouth upon hers, and an unexpected yearning filled her. She wanted to kiss him again, but he had asked her not to touch him. Though she would respect his wishes, she rather wished she could embrace him.

  ‘What will you name him?’ he asked as he led her outside.

  ‘You might laugh at me,’ she warned. ‘But when I was a little girl, I loved legends and folklore. I always wanted to name a dog after King Arthur.’

  ‘Then Arthur he shall be.’

  She was eager to enjoy time with the animal. It also gave her a way of occupying herself. Her emotions were all over the place just now, and she felt uncertain. This wasn’t meant to be a true marriage—and yet, it was starting to change. With each day she spent at his side, she found herself softening. Dalton was a decent man, and he deserved a true wife, not her. If she had any feelings towards him, she should release him from this false marriage and give him the chance to win a woman who could love him in the way he deserved.

  But selfishly, she didn’t want to.

  For so long, she had been a ruined woman, damaged and broken. Was it possible to change that? Could she somehow bury the past and try to be a
stronger woman, one who could love this man? She didn’t know.

  The walk to his grandfather’s house wasn’t long, but along the way, Arthur sniffed at the ground and stopped several times to mark his territory. The dog was a welcome distraction from her tangled thoughts. ‘It may take an hour to arrive at your grandfather’s home if we have to keep stopping,’ Regina remarked. ‘I hope he won’t be upset if we are late.’

  ‘He doesn’t know that we are coming to pay a call,’ Dalton answered. There was a hesitation in his voice, and he added, ‘Regina, I don’t know if this will be a good day or a bad day for him. My grandfather often forgets many things.’

  ‘How old is he?’ she asked.

  ‘He is eighty.’ Dalton paused and then said, ‘Sometimes he lives in a world of his own imaginings.’

  She understood his unspoken request for patience and nodded. Though she had met many elderly folk who had difficulty with memories, she suspected that this was far more.

  * * *

  They continued to walk for another quarter of an hour before they reached the house. Regina was surprised to see that it was larger than she had imagined. The front of the house appeared tiny, but it stretched back farther and was all on the same level with no stairs.

  Dalton approached the front door and rapped the knocker. A matron answered the door and smiled at him. ‘Och, laddie, he’ll be glad t’see you today. And I’ve heard from the Cairnross staff that this be your wife, Lady Camford? What a bonny one she is. His Lordship will be so glad.’ The housekeeper bent down and ruffled Arthur’s ears.

  So much for keeping the news from Lord Cairnross, Regina thought. But perhaps it wouldn’t matter in the end. Her nerves prickled at the thought of making a true attempt to be a real wife.

  ‘What kind of day is Grandfather having, Mrs Howard?’ Dalton asked.

  Her mouth turned up in a smile. ‘I canna say. I’ll leave it to you to decide.’

  Regina didn’t know what to think of that, but she picked up the puppy to ensure that he didn’t startle Dalton’s grandfather.

  ‘Is he too heavy for you?’ he asked, but Regina shook her head.

  ‘Arthur’s not heavy at all. But I will need you to open the door.’ The dog squirmed in her arms, licking her face with vigour. Regina tried to hide her amusement, but when she walked inside the parlour, she was startled at the sight of Lord Cairnross.

  The earl had tacked up long sheets stretching from the curtains to the piano. Chairs lined the room, and he stood on the piano bench. He still had his hair, but it was snowy white. His beard was also white, and he wore a uniform that reminded her of the Royal Navy. In his right hand, he held a spyglass, which he turned to her. ‘So, you’ve returned, Marguerite.’

  Regina didn’t know who Marguerite was, but Dalton took the dog and set him down on the floor. ‘Just play along.’

  Play along? She decided to greet the old man and extended her hand. ‘Good morning, my lord. My name is Regina.’

  ‘Well, now. Come aboard, lassie, and try not to fall in the water when you do.’

  She was beginning to realise what Dalton had meant. The earl was lost in a dream world of his own making. And although it was only his fantasy, he was caught up in the vision.

  ‘Where are we sailing, Grandfather?’ Dalton asked, stepping on to a chair. He held out his hands to her, and Regina joined him to stand on another chair. She could hardly believe what they were doing, play acting as if they were children. For a moment, she felt foolish, pretending to be on an invisible ship.

  ‘To India, laddie. We’ll seek our fortunes and bring back our ship laden with diamonds and rubies.’ The earl turned his spyglass towards the wall. ‘We’ll fight off the pirates on our journey. I hope you’ve brought your sword.’

  Regina suppressed a smile as she watched her new husband listening to his grandfather’s imaginary world. The old man’s face held joy as he wielded his cane like a weapon. Dalton steadied his grandfather when he nearly lost his balance. ‘The waves are rough tonight.’

  ‘Aye, so they are. But you’ve a fair maiden to keep you on the right path. Your wife, is she?’

  Dalton hesitated, but Regina answered, ‘I am,’ before Dalton could speak.

  He put his hand upon his grandfather’s shoulder and ventured a smile at Regina. She returned it, and a silent understanding passed between them. He believed that she was humouring his grandfather...but the truth was, she didn’t know what she wanted any more.

  ‘I wish I could have attended your wedding, laddie. Was there dancing?’

  Dalton eyed her with a questioning look. ‘There was no time.’ But he held out his hand. ‘Will you dance with me now, lass?’

  ‘How?’ she asked, staring at the chairs. With a glance towards his grandfather, she added, ‘Won’t we fall in the water?’

  ‘Nay. I’ll keep you safe.’ Dalton held out his arms, and she went to stand before him. Though she knew this was only for his grandfather’s sake, she felt the tension rising between them. He placed his hand upon her waist, and she welcomed the simple touch. The warmth of his palm made her feel closer to him. She held his other hand while they swayed gently atop two chairs. His grandfather’s face broke open with joy, and he clapped to the beat of a silent song. Dalton met her gaze, and she understood.

  There was no reason to shatter his grandfather’s dream by refusing to participate. The man had lived a long life, and if these elaborate visions brought him happiness, what was the harm?

  But more than that, during this spectacle, she recognised Dalton’s empathy and inner strength. He never belittled his grandfather or told him that there was no ship in the middle of the parlour. Instead, he gave the old man a moment of joy. And seeing his compassion utterly crumbled her heart.

  You could fall in love with him, her head warned.

  His green eyes held warmth and amusement, and he held her close as they danced.

  You have to distance yourself. It will only be worse if you get too close.

  Dalton would despise her if she ever told him the truth about that night. Instead, she forced herself to let go of his hands. She turned away and shielded her eyes from an invisible sun. ‘Is that another ship I see?’

  When his grandfather began singing a sailor’s tune, Dalton said, ‘I think it’s time we went ashore, Regina.’ His tone was calm, and she tried to push back her regrets. She was making the right choice for both of them, though it hurt.

  He set her down from the chair, and the puppy ran to them, wagging its tail. Dalton was about to offer his arm, when suddenly, Lord Cairnross stepped off the piano bench. He pulled her into a fast-paced step, spinning her around until she began to laugh. The old man was surprisingly spry, and her skirts whirled as he danced with her down to the end of the room and back. When he’d finished dancing with her, the earl bowed, and Regina curtsied.

  Lord Cairnross kissed her hands. ‘Laddie, if I were fifty years younger, I’d steal her awa’ from you. You’re a lucky man.’

  ‘I am indeed.’

  Regina was about to take Dalton’s arm, but he lifted the dog and handed it to her instead.

  Her cheeks were burning, and she veiled her disappointment. Instead, she braved a smile and told the older man, ‘It was a pleasure to meet you, my lord.’ Then, to avoid Dalton, she took the dog with her and departed.

  * * *

  Dalton followed Regina as she set the dog down upon the gravel pathway leading from the house. She kept up a swift pace, and the animal appeared eager for the exercise. He watched as she kept up with the dog and wondered if he was doing the right thing by giving her the space she wanted. Right now, she seemed eager to escape him.

  He trudged through the grasses, wondering what the hell he was doing. He’d tried to rescue Regina, and she had gone along with it. Yet, he had no idea how to win her heart. He didn’t really know her any more, and she d
idn’t know him.

  They were strangers, bound by a false marriage that could dissolve at any moment. All his life he had put Regina up on a pedestal, imagining a future with her...but what if the young woman he’d loved was a dream? Like his grandfather, he’d been building up his life around shadows and images, wanting to believe that he could make Regina love him in return. Yet, love couldn’t be forced.

  He was struggling to be patient, to give her the freedom she wanted. But he didn’t know if that would diminish her fear of marriage. He also didn’t know if she could learn to love him. He’d spent his entire life trying to please others after his brother’s death. He’d tried to be the heir his parents had wanted. But no matter what he’d done, it was never enough. And he recognised how pathetic he had been, trying to reshape himself.

  Dalton trailed her until she made it home safely before he turned away and strode towards the loch. He needed some time to himself, to decide what to do next. When he reached the shores of the loch, he stripped off his shirt and tossed it to the ground. He needed the punishing water against his skin. After the remainder of his clothing lay on the ground, he walked into the frigid water. He didn’t care that it was cold, for it matched his mood. He dived beneath the surface, pulling his arms through the water. His muscles burned from the exertion, but he continued to swim.

  He was a fool to think that a few days would make her see him in a new light. Regina had been right. They didn’t know each other at all, and he had no idea how to win her heart or even if she wanted him to.

  The cold water washed over him, clearing his thoughts. It was time to stop feeling sorry for himself. He was weary of behaving like a gentleman. What had that ever accomplished for him? Nothing at all. Instead, he decided that it was time to live his life as he chose, not according to the dictates of others.

  And if that meant letting Regina go, so be it.