A Simple Singing

by Leslie Gould

  On Friday, I thought of Gordon driving home in the church van, taking turns driving with Howard, figuring they’d get home sometime late Saturday. Most likely he’d be back at work on our farm by Monday morning. It would be cold and probably still icy. What a shock for him.

  Saturday afternoon, Elijah and I went to the beach, but the wind was cold and we didn’t stay long. As we rode the bus home, he took my hand and said, “You should just stay down here until I go back. I bet you could live with Paula.”

  “That would be great,” I answered, not really thinking about what I was saying.

  Elijah squeezed my hand. “I’m serious. Ask Paula.”

  As much as I liked Paula, I couldn’t imagine staying with a family I didn’t know. And besides, I was missing home enough to figure that after another week I’d be ready to leave. But I didn’t say that to Elijah. Instead I snuggled against him. He smelled of spicy aftershave and the cinnamon gum he chewed.

  “Are you looking forward to farming?” I asked.

  He laughed. “Honestly, it’s not my favorite thing.”

  I sat up straight. “What?!”

  “Don’t act so surprised,” he said. “I’ve already told you I’m not crazy about it. I’m going to do it, don’t worry. It’s by far my best option.”

  I leaned back against him. I guess I hadn’t listened very carefully before. “What would you rather do?”

  “That’s a good question.” He was silent for a long moment. “I’m not sure.”

  I’d always wanted to be a farmer’s wife, and I was shocked that Elijah hadn’t always wanted to be a farmer. Then again, he had said he didn’t know anything about cows. And he never talked about farming.

  We were silent after that. My mind was racing. Surely he could be happy doing something he didn’t enjoy. I thought of Gordon. He did such a good job on our farm, tending the animals, plowing, planting, and harvesting. And yet he was considering working at the shelter. Just because Elijah didn’t enjoy farming didn’t mean he couldn’t be successful at it.

  Aenti Suz was at the bungalow when we returned, and I could tell that Elijah wasn’t happy to see her. Perhaps he hoped we’d have time alone like we did the night Gordon came to town.

  My heart beat rapidly at the memory. Elijah stayed around for a while, hanging out with me on the patio, but then he said he had an early morning the next day and needed to get home.

  Monday, Elijah and I ate at Yoders, and then Tuesday, Paula and I watched him and Billy play basketball at the park. She’d stopped by the shelter and planned to volunteer the upcoming Friday. I planned to talk with her about going too, when Elijah wasn’t around. After a while, Paula yawned and said she was bored and was going home. “Want to go with me?” she asked.

  I hadn’t visited her home yet and would have liked to, but I didn’t want to leave Elijah, so I stayed. After they were done with their game, Elijah said he needed to get home and get to bed. He and Billy dropped me off, and Elijah walked me to the door.

  “It’s supposed to be eighty-five tomorrow,” he said. “Let’s go to the beach. We’ll take the bus again—just the two of us.”

  “Sounds great,” I answered.

  I went to bed, wondering if I should talk to Paula about living with her family until May.

  Wednesday morning, as Aenti Suz and I sat on the patio sipping our coffee, I looked forward to the day ahead with Elijah.

  As I took another drink of coffee, our landlady called out from the gate, “Are you two back here?”

  “Jah.” Aenti Suz stood.

  “You have a phone call.”

  I guessed it was David hoping to make plans for the day, and Aenti Suz must have too because she hurried toward the gate. I took another sip of coffee.

  Aenti Suz returned in less time than I expected. “It was Gordon,” she said. “Jessica is in the hospital.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Ectopic pregnancy. She’s in emergency surgery. She’s lost a lot of blood.”

  I had no idea what all of that meant, and the expression on my face must have given away my confusion.

  “She was pregnant, but the embryo attached in the fallopian tube, which made it burst.”

  I put my hand over my face. “Oh no.”

  “We need to go home.” Aenti Suz grabbed her coffee cup and headed toward the kitchen.

  Go home? I was going to the beach with Elijah. And I wanted to volunteer at the shelter with Paula on Friday. We still had over a week left in Florida before going back to the cold and snow in Lancaster County.

  Aenti Suz stood on the other side of the open sliding glass door. “Marie.” Her voice was firm, as if she could read my mind. “This can be a very dangerous situation. We’re needed. Your Mamm won’t be up to caring for Jessica alone.”

  “Maybe Leisel will be able to.” She was the one training to be a nurse.

  Aenti Suz gave me a wilting look. “She’s in college, remember? Do you want her to fail?”

  I exhaled. I hadn’t thought about that.

  Aenti Suz continued. “Gordon said Jessica didn’t want us to come home early, so she asked that we not be told. But Silas asked Gordon to call us anyway. Frankly, they’re all very worried about her. She’s already lost a lot of blood.” She put one hand on her hip. “We’re going to pack and get to the parking lot at the Tourist Church as soon as possible. The bus leaves at eleven—if there aren’t two seats available on it, we’ll need to find another way home, immediately.”

  I clutched my coffee cup.

  “I already called David. He’s arranging for a cart to be here within the half hour. And he’ll let Elijah know why you had to leave without talking to him.”

  I felt sick at not telling him good-bye, and Paula too.

  “Marie.” Aenti Suz was staring me down. “You have the chance to put your sister before yourself. Perhaps you don’t think you have the gift of caring for a person’s physical health, but at least acknowledge that perhaps you can help care for her spirit.”

  I stood, mulling over her words as I followed her into the bungalow.

  There were spots left on the bus, and David found a Mennonite couple with a cell phone and asked if he could pass their number on to Gordon so he could call with an update on Jessica. They agreed.

  Soon we were on the bus, driving over the Phillipi Creek Bridge, past the park, and out of Pinecraft. Aenti Suz sat by the window, but as I clutched my winter coat in my arms, I stared past her at the scenes slowly rolling along. Silently, I said good-bye to the community I’d enjoyed being a part of for far too short of a time.

  The palm trees swayed, as if waving good-bye.

  Once we were out of town, Aenti Suz said she understood it was hard to leave. “But it’s the right thing to do.”

  I nodded in agreement, embarrassed that I’d been reluctant. Would I ever learn to put others before myself? I said all the right things, but my actions lacked conviction.

  Aenti Suz sighed. “How about if I tell you more of Annie’s story?”

  “I’d like that,” I answered, thinking about Annie arriving home. And now I would be soon too.

  17

  Annie

  After Kate and Ira ate, served by Aenti Elizabeth, Mamm showed them to Annie and Josiah’s rooms to sleep. Annie’s grandmother sat in the rocking chair and clucked her tongue until the two strangers, to her, had left.

  “Aren’t they the ones who forced you to go care for those soldiers?”

  “They didn’t force me, Mammi,” Annie answered. “I chose to go.”

  Her grandmother clucked her tongue again. “You’re just a child.”

  Annie ignored her grandmother and slipped out to the back porch to sit with Sophia while Samuel stayed at the kitchen table and had a second helping of Aenti Elizabeth’s hotcakes.

  Sophia definitely had more color in her cheeks. Also, her breathing wasn’t as labored.

  Sophia clasped her hands together. “Dat said he would take me to see Richert.”


  Annie put her arm around her sister. “You need to know that he’s been running a fever and his leg is infected.”

  “Has his sight returned?”

  Annie shook her head.

  Sophia exhaled. “It doesn’t matter. I’m getting stronger, and I’ll be able to help care for him.”

  Annie pulled her sister close. “I’m praying that will be the case.”

  Dat arrived in the buggy as they talked.

  “I know you’re exhausted,” Sophia said. “But will you come with me?”

  “Jah.” Annie scooted off the bed. “I’ll let Samuel know.”

  He was still eating as she told him she wouldn’t be gone long.

  “All right,” he said. “I’ll wait.”

  When they arrived at the Fishers’ house, the doctor was examining Richert, and Eva was in the room too. When the doctor and Eva came out to the sitting room to talk with Hiram, Sophia led the way into Richert’s room with Annie a step behind.

  “Richert?” Sophia said, her voice soft. “It’s me.”

  He turned his head toward her and reached out his hand. She took it and sat on the chair beside the bed. His body began to shake and he cried.

  Annie stopped a few feet away. Sophia put her head on Richert’s chest and began to cry too.

  Not used to witnessing such a mix of affection and grief, Annie felt uncomfortable. She stepped back to the door but stayed in the room, mesmerized by the love between her sister and her beau.

  Her heart contracted. Would she ever know such love? Such commitment?

  Richert’s hands went to Sophia’s back and then her head. Then they moved around to her face. “I wish I could see you,” he said.

  “It doesn’t matter.” She kissed his finger. “All that’s important is that you’re here. I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through.”

  “I suppose most will think I got what I deserved.”

  “No one’s going to say that,” she said.

  Tears filled Annie’s eyes. It was true that many would think it though. And some would say it—just hopefully not to Richert or his parents. Or to Sophia.

  “I shouldn’t have joined,” Richert said. “And not because of my injuries. When all was said and done, I couldn’t shoot another person. I thought I’d be able to—but I couldn’t.”

  Annie thought of all of the unfired rifles on the battlefield. He wasn’t alone. There were Englisch soldiers who couldn’t do it either.

  Eva opened the door and motioned for Annie. As she left, Sophia was still by Richert’s side.

  Annie joined the doctor and the Fishers.

  “Richert is under his mother’s care, where he belongs.” The doctor frowned. “I can’t guess what the end result will be. He’s badly injured, as you all know.”

  Annie’s stomach fell, but she knew the doctor spoke the truth.

  “I’ll get a poultice made for his leg,” Eva said, “and give him a tincture to help him sleep. Rest and good food is what he needs.”

  “And we’ll all keep praying.” Dat patted Hiram on the shoulder. Annie thought of how opposed Dat was to Sophia’s relationship with Richert, and then how mortified he’d been when Richert joined the Union Army. But now he simply shared in his neighbor’s grief—and hope.

  After the doctor left, Annie fetched Sophia. She didn’t want her sister to tire herself or Richert. Both of them needed their rest.

  When they returned to the house, Samuel sat on the front porch, chatting with Mamm. Annie walked with Sophia up the back steps and waited as she reclined on her bed. “I believe everything will be all right,” Sophia said. “It won’t be what we expected, but God will see us through.”

  Annie sighed and then answered, “I believe so too.”

  “What does Samuel want to speak with you about?” Sophia asked.

  Annie didn’t answer.

  “Do you know your heart for him?”

  Annie nodded. “He’s a good man.”

  Sophia pursed her lips.

  “What is it?” Annie asked.

  “Jah, he’s a good man. But when you were gone, he spoke as if he owned you.”

  “He was worried about me, is all. Besides, isn’t a woman supposed to submit to a man?”

  “A wife and husband are to submit to each other,” Sophia said. “That’s what the scriptures say. You were only courting him. He shouldn’t have been so presumptuous.”

  Sophia had always had strong opinions. Perhaps Samuel wasn’t as gentle as Richert, but he did have Annie’s best interests at heart. Annie simply told Sophia that she appreciated her concern and then walked through the quiet house—her grandmother was now napping in the rocking chair—to the front porch.

  Her mother stood as she stepped through the door. “I need to get dinner started shortly,” she said, “after I gather the beans from the garden.”

  Annie sat next to Samuel. His eyes were tired, and she felt a rush of appreciation for him. He’d been willing to go all the way to Gettysburg to find her.

  “Denki for waiting for me,” Annie said. “I know you’re tired.”

  He nodded.

  “What did you want to tell me?”

  “Well, my message has changed now that you’re home. I was going to tell you that you had no business traipsing all over the state, caring for soldiers. But now that you’re home, I’ll spare you the lecture.”

  He smiled as she bristled. “I imagine you’ve been doing much the same, traipsing all over, doing deliveries and helping Mr. Stevens.”

  “That’s different.”

  “God doesn’t call us to be safe,” she said. “He calls us to serve others. Correct?”

  “Jah,” Samuel answered. “But let me serve. And you stay safe.”

  Annie crossed her arms. “But He showed me a way to help—I had to obey His calling.”

  Samuel shook his head. “It wasn’t your responsibility to be a nurse on a battlefield. It was enough that you left to go to Peach Bottom.”

  She inhaled sharply. “I was caring for my sister-in-law.”

  “Jah, that was all fine and good for a short time . . . but going on to Gettysburg? What was George thinking, letting you do something so foolish?”

  Annie stood. “I found Richert. I brought him home.”

  “But it wasn’t your responsibility. He reaped the consequences of his actions. His fate was up to God—not to you.”

  She paced to the far end of the porch. Jah, she knew people would think that. She just didn’t expect it to come from the man she thought she’d marry. Ira hadn’t wanted her to serve in Gettysburg after the battle either, but then he respected her decision to stay.

  Samuel followed Annie, and she spun around, saying, “I need to go rest before I say something I might regret.”

  “Annie . . .” His tone betrayed his frustration.

  She stepped toward the door. “We’ll see each other soon enough. We’ll talk more then.”

  He reached out his hand, but she didn’t take it. Instead she told him farewell and entered the house, overcome with fatigue. She made it out to the porch and crawled up on the bed next to Sophia. A few minutes later, she heard Josiah say he would take Samuel home. After that, she fell fast asleep.

  Annie awoke to voices in the kitchen. Kate’s and Ira’s. And Woody’s. She sat up. Sophia wasn’t beside her.

  She took a moment to gather her senses, and then stood, smoothing her skirt and apron. Then she stepped into the kitchen. Sophia and their grandmother sat at the table, while Ira and Kate stood in a huddle with Woody, Mamm, and Dat.

  The talking stopped.

  “What happened?” Annie asked.

  It was Mamm who finally spoke. “Woody found Cecil along the road, ill.”

  “I delivered him to Peach Bottom. As you can imagine, Harriet was frantic—but also relieved—to see him.”

  “So she’s caring for him now?” Annie asked.

  “That’s right, along with a group of other injured and sick soldi
ers,” Kate explained. “Woody is going to take Ira and me back to Peach Bottom now.” She stepped toward Annie. “Can you come back with us? To help? You’re a well-trained nurse now.”

  Annie didn’t feel as if she were a well-trained nurse, but she knew she could be of use. But then she thought of Samuel. What would he think if she went? And what about Sophia? She was doing better, but with Richert injured she would need Annie too.

  Ira cleared his throat. “Mother, don’t pressure Annie to go with you. She should stay here. She’s served well, but it’s time for her to be with her family.”

  Kate gave Annie a pleading look.

  Ira shook his head. “Annie, with God’s guidance, must make the decision.” He turned toward her. “Ma will accept whatever you decide.”

  Woody stepped forward. “Miss Kate, Ira’s right. God will provide the help needed in Peach Bottom. And I’ll certainly assist as I can.”

  Mamm put her arm around Annie but didn’t say anything, which Annie appreciated. Annie was exhausted and had longed to recover in the safety of her family. But Kate, Ira, Woody, and now Harriet didn’t have that choice.

  Did the Lord want her to go? She said a quick silent prayer, asking for guidance. Her throat felt dry, and she couldn’t seem to find her voice. Ira gave her a sympathetic look, and she managed to mutter, “I think it’s best if I stay.”

  Her heart broke saying it. She respected Kate more than anyone, but Annie didn’t have the fortitude the other woman did.

  Sophia stood and stepped to Annie’s side. “Are you sure, sister? I don’t want you staying if you feel you should go.”

  Annie nodded. She’d never felt so conflicted about anything in her life, but she couldn’t see going back to Peach Bottom. Not now.

  After Mamm fed Ira, Kate, and Woody again, they gathered their things. Annie didn’t have a chance to speak to Ira in person before they all climbed into Woody’s wagon, but she hoped he knew that she was grateful for his intervention. She appreciated both Kate and Ira, but sometimes the son seemed more observant and sensitive than the mother.