Traveling Town Mystery Boxset

by Ami Diane

  She treaded over the trail Will had forged that morning, taking large steps to match his stride. When his path forked left, she took the right and glowered at the mostly-covered snowy path that led to the diner.

  The more sensible approach would be to backtrack, go through the inn, and out the front door which was why, naturally, she plunged ahead. There was no adventure to be had in sensibility. At least this path was only to her shins.

  Heat radiated inside her jacket from the exertion as she progressed at a snail’s pace. Next time, she would wear snowshoes or dig a tunnel, because either would be more efficient.

  Pulling out the key, she worked with the tricky lock, surprised when the knob turned easily. Maybe the cold was having the opposite of the expected effect on the mechanism.

  Inside, she closed the door, her back to the interior of the room, then stomped her boots, greeted by warmth and the scent of nearly two dozen pumpkin pies. As she hung her scarf up, it hit her that the lights were on.

  She turned from the coat hooks and gasped. The scarf dropped to her feet, and she stared at the massacre of pumpkin pies strewn all over the kitchen.

  Orange guts lay mashed on the floors, on the counters, up the walls. Overturned pie tins and shards of crust were strewn about like shrapnel. To top it all off, a dusting of flour coated the entire room, especially the floors, as if every sack of flour had spontaneously combusted.

  She gaped at the destruction, her mouth voicing strange utterances on its own accord. Who would do such a thing?

  Her next thought sent her biting back a series of curses. She would have to be the one to break the news to Wink.

  A scraping noise in the diner pulled her attention. Her heart leaped into her throat.

  If it was Wink, she wanted to head her off before she stepped into the war zone. But if it was the person responsible for the destruction… she waffled with indecision a moment. Her fear for her safety was trumped by her need for justice. She couldn’t let them get away with it.

  Ella dashed for the door that led into the diner.

  She kicked the door in. “Wink?”

  Her steps skidded to a halt.

  The diner owner lay crumpled on the floor, groaning. A flash of brown fabric darted out from behind the lunch counter and bolted for the front door.

  CHAPTER 10

  ELLA FROZE, TORN between helping her friend and running after the perpetrator.

  Her chest constricted as she dropped to her knees. “Wink? Are you okay?”

  “Fine.” Wink’s face pinched in pain.

  “You sure?” Ella leaped to her feet and hesitated.

  Wink’s delicate hand clasped the top of her head as her features arranged themselves, shoving away the pain. “I’m fine. Really.”

  Ella jogged backward towards the door, keeping Wink in her vision. “You sure? Call for help. I’ll be back!”

  She darted outside. The cold air bit through her sweatshirt and jeans. Wink’s voice yelled for her as the door closed, but she was already flying over the snow.

  She tore down the narrow, shoveled path in the direction she’d seen leaving the assailant dart off.

  The figure was already several yards ahead, wearing a bulky jacket and brown hair poking out from under a nondescript hat.

  “Stop!”

  She hadn’t expected it to work and was unsurprised when the intruder poured on the speed.

  Ella sprinted past the inn, unsure what she would do if she were to catch up to the person. If there was ever an opportunity to try a flying Chuck Norris style kick, this would be it.

  Her boots struggled to maintain traction and her lungs burned by the time she passed the library, but she was gaining on the perpetrator. Her months of running were finally paying off.

  Ahead, the figure took a sharp left and scrambled up the snow berm and into the street.

  “Hey, stop!”

  Ella clawed up the bank and rolled down the other side into the street. Her right hip jarred into the packed snow. Groaning, she staggered to her feet in time to see the figure disappear over the opposite berm.

  “You have got to be kidding me.”

  Steam puffed out of Ella’s mouth like a locomotive. She scrabbled up the bank and rolled down the other side, no longer caring about being graceful. After landing in a heap, she jumped to her feet, slid several inches, then sprinted up the other sidewalk.

  The figure was a brown dot, rapidly shrinking in the distance. As Ella flew down the next block, the door to the general store opened.

  She saw it coming a second before she splat against the screen like a bug on a windshield. Her body flew back and landed in the small patch of yard, several feet of snow breaking her fall.

  She didn’t move for several seconds as she worked to get air back into her lungs and enjoyed the general sense of being alive.

  Delicate snowflakes landed on her skin. Around her, an Ella-shaped hole in the snow rose, capped off by a gray sky. A figure blotted out the view, and she choked, fearing it was Wink’s assailant, coming back.

  The face above swam into focus as the person spoke Old Norse in a deep, guttural voice.

  “Leif?”

  The Norseman held out a hand, and Ella clasped it. Before she knew it, he’d pulled her onto her feet as if she weighed nothing more than a feather.

  Brushing the snow off her backside, she thanked him in her best, halting Icelandic.

  After searching up and down the deserted sidewalk, her shoulders sank. She asked him if he’d seen anyone run past, but he shook his head and pointed at the store. She took it to mean he’d been inside. Either that or he was simply pointing out how nice of a building it was.

  Her eyes raked over the ground, searching for fresh footprints but the trampled snow of last-minute Christmas shoppers made it nearly impossible.

  Ella clenched her jaw as much from frustration as the biting cold. After thanking Leif again, she parted from the Viking.

  She circled the block, hoping to glimpse the figure, before ending back on Main Street. Whoever the unidentified assailant was, they were long gone, probably holed up in their own place, warm, which was far better off than she was at the moment.

  She kicked the snowbank. Someone had just hurt Wink. If only she was a faster runner or hadn’t delayed in chasing after the vandal, she’d be hauling their behind into the sheriff’s office right now—after a few well-placed Chuck Norris kicks, of course.

  Ella rushed back to Grandma’s Kitchen. Wink sat in a booth, holding an ice bag to her head, fending off a panicky Rose.

  They both looked at her expectantly. Ella bit her lip and shook her head.

  “I’m sorry.” She slid in beside Wink. “How bad is it?”

  “I’m fine.”

  Ella looked at Rose for confirmation.

  “She’s got a nasty goose egg, but she’ll live.”

  After gingerly lifting the bag off Wink’s head, Ella inspected the knot on her friend’s head. “Probably should have Pauline check it out, just in case.”

  Rose pushed up her glasses. “She’s already on her way.”

  The front door burst in, nearly tearing the bell off the wall above. A crazed, half-dressed Flo stood in the doorway. Cradled on her shoulder was a ginormous weapon that looked like a bazooka with Christmas lights blinking festively.

  “Good gracious,” Rose yelled, clutching her chest.

  Flo swept the weapon around the room. “Where is he?”

  “Flo!” Ella ducked under the table, pulling the others out of the line of fire. “Put that thing away!”

  “Don’t you be putting another hole in my wall, you batty woman!” Wink shrieked.

  Ella slid part of her head out, just enough to see the old woman sweep the room. “The intruder’s gone. Put that thing away before you shoot someone.”

  After chewing her lip a good, full minute, Flo rolled her eyes. “Fine. But if we get attacked—”

  “Is that thing even pointed the right direction?”
<
br />   “‘Course it is.” With a grunt, Flo let the monstrous gun fall to her side where it thunked against the checkered floor.

  She stared at it a moment.

  She turned it over.

  “Now it is.”

  Ella squeezed her eyes shut, one hand massaging a temple as she prayed to every deity she could think of for patience not to strangle her friend.

  When she opened her eyes, she took in Flo from head to toe then head again.

  “Something’s different… I can’t put a finger on it.”

  “She’s not wearing pants,” Wink said as she and Rose crawled out from under the table. The owner brushed off the front of her knees then replaced the ice bag on her head.

  Ella’s breath hitched. “My God, you’re right.” The woman took granny underwear to a whole new level. “But that’s not it.” She tapped her chin.

  When her gaze reached the top of Flo’s head, her jaw dropped. “Holy Jack Frost. Your hair.”

  “What about it?” Flo sniffed, patting the top of her head. The fact alone that she could reach the top highlighted what Ella was just noticing.

  “It’s like a drowned rat. Your beehive—”

  “I didn’t have time to fix my hair.”

  “Or get properly dressed,” Wink added.

  Ella patted the top of Flo’s head. “It’s so… flat.”

  Shuffling closer, she could make out the pores on Flo’s nose, could see herself in the reflection of the older woman’s thick glasses.

  Flo’s hands nudged Ella back. “Why—What are you staring at?”

  “Has your forehead always been so…”

  “So, what?”

  “Flashlights,” Wink blurted out. “Your legs are like their own flashlights. You should let those puppies see the sun once in a while.”

  “You know darn well Chapman banned me from sunbathing,” Flo spat.

  “Because you were doing it nude.”

  Flo’s nostrils flared. “You done, Abbott and Costello?”

  Ella nodded. “We aren’t being very nice, Wink.”

  Flo sniffed. “Darn right, you’re not.”

  “I mean, she can’t help it if she looks like the before picture in a Women’s Rogaine commercial.”

  Despite the fact that Wink couldn’t possibly understand Ella’s reference, she grinned and crooned at the diss. “Oh ho, you just got freezed.” She stopped, her voice lilting up in confusion. “Frozen?”

  “What?” Ella said. “No, neither. It’s burned. You just got burned.”

  “That’s right. Call the coroner because you burned to death.”

  Ella hid her face, shaking her head. “No, no. You’re supposed to say something like, ‘Need some aloe vera? Because you just got burned.’ We have got to work on your trash talk.”

  A tall figure opened the door and stooped through the doorway. The tired bell jangled once before falling to the ground in defeat.

  “Pauline called me about an intruder? Wink, you alright?”

  Sheriff Chapman took one step forward, stopped, and did a double take at Flo. He looked from her head to her bare legs to the massive weapon leaning against her.

  Turning on his cowboy heel, his spur tinkling in the air until his back was to her, he drawled, “I’m going to pretend you ain’t here, Ms. Florence. And when I turn back around, you better not be.”

  Flo huffed but complied, trudging back outside in her nightgown and skivvies, dragging her inter-dimensional gun.

  Wink puffed air out of her cheeks in frustration, muttering, “That woman.”

  Ella’s hand moved to her friend’s back in a comforting gesture. “At least she didn’t blast a hole in the wall this time, so that’s something.”

  “A hole in the wall? This time?” Chapman’s keen eyes bore holes in Ella.

  “How’s that?”

  “You just said something about Flo blasting a hole in the wall.”

  “No, I didn’t. Wink? You hear me say something like that?” Before her friend could respond, Ella said, “See. I think you might need to get your hearing checked.”

  “Never mind that.” With the toe of his boot, he nudged the innards of a pumpkin pie. “Someone wanna tell me what happened here?”

  CHAPTER 11

  THE NEXT HOUR was a rather confusing, chaotic dance. Pauline arrived shortly after the sheriff. After inspecting Wink and deeming her “just fine,” she gave her something for her raging headache. It wasn’t until she emptied the fourth jacket pocket did the coroner and town doctor locate the pills. She then proceeded to take the contents she’d strewn across the lunch counter, which for some reason known only to her included a gas cap and a handful of marbles, and place them back into their proper pockets.

  As the doctor left out the front, Chapman stuck his thumbs in his belt and said, “Alright, Pearl—“

  “Heh, Pearl.” Ella chuckled then caught both Chapman and Wink’s glares. She motioned zipping up her lip then waved them on to continue.

  “What happened?”

  “I came in through the front—”

  “How’d you get here?”

  “I borrowed the professor’s snowmobile again.” Wink adjusted the ice bag on her head, wincing. “Anyway, I came in through the front like I always do—”

  “What were you doing here? The diner’s closed on Sundays.”

  “I came to check on the pies. Remember, we had the charity pie bake workshop yesterday? I noticed you were conspicuously absent.

  “Anyway, I grew antsy to see how they looked after cooling off. I also wanted to get them over to the church for the auction tonight. The first thing I noticed when I walked in was the mess of pies all over the floor.” Her tone filled with anger and frustration. “All that hard work. Gone. Such a waste. Anyway, that’s when I saw him.”

  “The intruder?”

  “Yes. He was standing right there.” She pointed a skinny, arthritic finger at the lunch counter.

  “You sure it was a male?”

  Wink’s chin dipped in the beginnings of a nod, then she stopped. “No, actually. They were wearing a ski mask, and their clothes were baggy.”

  “Then what happened?”

  “I yelled for him to get out. I picked up the nearest weapon I could find—”

  “Which was?”

  “A rolling pin. It had been left out by yesterday’s group.” Wink’s eyes flashed with anger as if seeing the assailant again. “I came at him, brandishing the pin, and threatening to call you.”

  “What’d he say?”

  “Nothing. He came around the counter. I backed up and took a swing.”

  “Good for you,” both Ella and Rose said.

  “Maybe not. I missed, and he managed to pry the rolling pin from me. That’s how he popped me over the head.” She grimaced, reliving the blow.

  “This the rolling pin?” Chapman stood partly behind the counter, standing on the remnants of several pies, and used his boot to point at a rolling pin on the floor Ella hadn’t noticed.

  “That’s it.”

  “What happened after that?”

  Wink shuddered. “He leaned forward and whispered, ‘Where is it?’ Then, I heard someone come in the back but was too dazed to call for help. That’s when Ella came in and scared him and that good-for-nothing scoundrel ran out the front.”

  Rose rested her hand on the diner owner’s shoulder. “Thank God Ella came when she did. Who knows what this person would’ve done?”

  “You said he asked where something was,” Ella said. “Do you know what he was looking for?”

  “No clue.”

  Chapman walked up and down behind the counter. “And there’s no money missing from the register?”

  “No, it’s locked.”

  “Maybe they wanted the key,” Chapman drawled, more to himself. With a deep breath, he said, “Alright, Miss Barton. Your turn.”

  He slipped off his derby hat, placed it on the counter, and leaned onto a stool. His passive expression flicker
ed with interest as if expecting Ella’s narration to be good.

  While she gave her version of events, she brewed a pot of coffee, or “mud” as they called it at the diner, and poured everyone a round. As she fixed hers with enough sugar to kill a diabetic, she finished, saying, “And that’s when I came back here.”

  “I can’t believe you ran after him,” Rose said. Her pale skin had an ashen pallor.

  “Wasn’t smart of you,” Chapman agreed. “What if he’d had a gun?”

  “Wouldn’t he have used it on Wink, then?”

  “Perhaps. Did you consider that at the moment?”

  “Yes,” she said. Chapman stared her down with his cool, blue eyes. “Maybe.” He didn’t break. “Okay, no, I didn’t. I just reacted. But what was I supposed to do? Let him get away?”

  “Isn’t that what happened, anyway?” Wink said. Her mouth quirked up. “I’m just giving you a hard time. But they’re right; you have no business running after intruders.”

  Ella appreciated their concern, was touched by it, but she didn’t regret her decision. Although, in hindsight, it would’ve been smart to have grabbed a knife or rolling pin first, something to defend herself with.

  “Maybe next time I’ll arm myself with one of Flo’s explosives,” she mumbled.

  “What explosives?” Chapman leaned forward, fixing her with another penetrating stare.

  “Yeah, what explosives,” Ella said.

  “Huh?”

  “Hey, Rose. Why don’t you tell the sheriff what happened when you got here?”

  The innkeeper agreed and cleared her throat. Since she arrived after the vandal and Ella had left, there wasn’t much to tell other than helping Wink and contacting both Pauline and Chapman.

  Once she finished briefing him with her version of events, she put on her coat, shaking her head at the messy room.

  “I’ll be by to help clean up,” she told Wink. “Once the sheriff says it’s okay. Just give me a ring. I have to stop by Stewart’s to pick up more eggs.”

  Wink motioned towards the kitchen. “Just take the last two dozen in there. Won’t be using them anytime soon.”