The Holiday Gift

by RaeAnne Thayne

  Beckett McKinley wanted to date Faith. Chase’s Faith.

  “She’s great. That’s all,” Beck had said into the suddenly tense silence. “It’s been more than two years since Travis died, right? I just thought maybe she’d be ready to start getting out there.”

  Chase had thought for a minute his whole face had turned numb, especially his tongue. It made it tough for him to get any words out at all—or maybe that was the ice-cold coating around his brain.

  “Why are you asking me?” he had finally managed to say.

  If possible, Beck had looked even more uncomfortable. “The two of you are always together. Here at the auction, at the feed store, at the diner in town. I know you’re neighbors and you’ve been friends for a long time. But if there’s something more than that, I don’t want to be an ass and step on toes. You don’t have to tell me what happens to bulls who wander into somebody else’s pen.”

  It was all he could do not to haul off and deck the guy for the implied comparison that Faith was just some lonely heifer, waiting for some smooth-talking bull to wander by.

  Instead, he had managed to grip his hands into fists, all while one thought kept echoing through his head.

  Not again.

  He thought he was giving her time to grieve, to make room in her heart for someone else besides Travis Dustin, the man she had loved since she was a traumatized girl trying to carve out a new home for her and her sisters.

  Chase had been too slow once before. He had been a steady friend and confidant from the beginning. He figured he had all the time in the world as he waited for her to heal and to settle into life in Pine Gulch. She had been so young, barely sixteen. He wasn’t much older, not yet nineteen, and had been busy with his own struggles. Even then, he had been running his family’s ranch on his own while his father lay dying.

  For six months, he offered friendship to Faith, fully expecting that one day when both of them were in a better place, he could start moving things to a different level.

  And then Travis Dustin came home for the summer to help out Claude and Mary, the distant relatives who had raised him his last few years of high school.

  Chase’s father was in his last few agonizing weeks of life from lung cancer that summer. While he was busy coping with that and accepting his new responsibilities on the ranch, Travis had wasted no time sweeping in and stealing Faith’s heart. By the time Chase woke up and realized what was happening, it was too late. His two closest friends were in love with each other and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

  He could have fought for her, he supposed, but it was clear from the beginning that Travis made her happy. After everything she and her sisters had been through, she deserved to find a little peace.

  Instead, he had managed to put his feelings away and maintain his friendship with both of them. He had even tried to move on himself and date other women, with disastrous consequences.

  Beck McKinley was a good guy. A solid rancher, a devoted father, a pillar of the community. Any woman would probably be very lucky to have him, as long as she could get past those hellion boys of his.

  Maybe McKinley was exactly the kind of guy she wanted. The thought gnawed at him, but he took some small solace in remembering that she hadn’t seemed all that enthusiastic at the idea of going out with him.

  Didn’t matter. He knew damn well it was only a matter of time before she found someone she did want to go out with. If not Beck, some other smooth-talking cowboy would sweep in.

  He hadn’t fought for her last time. Instead, he had stood by like a damn statue and watched her fall in love with his best friend.

  He wouldn’t go through that again. It was time he made a move—but what if he made the wrong one and ruined everything between them?

  He felt like a man given a choice between a hangman’s noose and a firing squad. He was damned either way.

  He was still trying to figure out what to do when she shifted from watching the young horse dance around the pasture in the cold December air. Faith gazed up at the overcast sky, still dribbling out the occasional stray snowflake.

  “I probably should get back. The kids will be out of school soon and I’m sure you have plenty of things of your own to do. You don’t have to walk me back,” she said when he started to head in that direction behind her. “Stay and unhitch the horse trailer if you need to.”

  “It can keep. I’ll walk you back up to your truck. I’ve got to plug in my phone anyway.”

  A couple of his ranch dogs came out from the barn to say hello as they walked the short distance to his house. He reached down and petted them both, in total sympathy. He felt like a ranch dog to her: a constant, steady companion with a few useful skills that came in handy once in a while.

  Would she ever be able to see him as anything more?

  “Thanks again, Chase,” Faith said when they reached her own pickup truck—the one she had insisted on driving over that morning, even though he told her he could easily pick her up and drop her back off at the Star N.

  “You’re welcome,” he said.

  “Seriously, I was out of my depth. Horses aren’t exactly my area of expertise. Who knows, I might have brought home a nag. As always, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  He could feel tension clutch at his shoulders again. “Not true,” he said, his voice more abrupt than he intended. “You didn’t need me. Not really. You’d already done your research and knew what you wanted in a barrel racer. You just needed somebody to back you up.”

  She smiled as they reached her pickup truck and a pale shaft of sunlight somehow managed to pierce the cloud cover and land right on her delicate features, so soft and lovely it made his heart hurt.

  “I’m so lucky that somebody is always you,” she said.

  He let out a breath, fighting the urge to pull her into his arms. He didn’t have that right—nor could he let things go on as they were.

  “About the stockgrowers’ party,” he began.

  If he hadn’t been looking, he might have missed the leap of something that looked suspiciously like fear in her green eyes before she shifted her gaze away from him.

  “Really, it doesn’t bother me to skip it this year if you want to make other plans.”

  “I don’t want to skip it,” he growled. “I want to go. With you. On a date.”

  He intended to stress the last word, to make it plain this wouldn’t be two buddies just hanging out together, like they always did. As a result, the word took on unnatural proportions and he nearly snapped it out until it arced between them like an arrow twanged from a crossbow.

  Eyes wide, she gazed at him for a long moment, clearly startled by his vehemence. After a moment, she nodded. “Okay. That’s settled, then. We can figure out the details later.”

  Nothing was settled. He needed to tell her date was the operative word here, that he didn’t want to take her to the party as her neighbor and friend who gave her random advice on a barrel racing horse for her daughter or helped her with the hay season.

  He wanted the right to hold her—to dance with her and flirt and whisper soft, sexy words in her ear.

  How the hell could he tell her that, after all this time, when he had so carefully cultivated a safe, casual relationship that was the exact opposite of what he really wanted? Before he could figure that out, an SUV he didn’t recognize drove up the lane toward his house.

  “Were you expecting company?” she asked.

  “Don’t think so.” He frowned as the car pulled up beside them—and his frown intensified when the passenger door opened and a girl jumped out, then raced toward him. “Daddy!”

  Chapter Two

  He stared at his eleven-year-old daughter, dressed to the nines in an outfit more suited to a photo shoot for a children’s clothing store than for a working catt
le ranch.

  “Adaline! What are you doing here? I didn’t expect to see you until next weekend.”

  “I know, Dad! Isn’t it great? We get extra time together—maybe even two whole weeks! Mom pulled me out of school until after Christmas. Isn’t that awesome? My teachers are going to email me all my homework so I don’t miss too much—not that they ever do anything the last few weeks before Christmas vacation anyway but waste time showing movies and doing busywork and stuff.”

  That sounded like a direct quote from her mother, who had little respect for the educational system, even the expensive private school she insisted on sending their daughter to.

  As if on cue, his ex-wife climbed out of the driver’s side of what must be a new vehicle, judging by the temporary license plates in the window.

  She looked uncharacteristically disordered, with her sweater askew and her hair a little messy in back where she must have been leaning against the headrest as she drove.

  “I’m so glad you’re home,” she said. “We took a chance. I’ve been trying to call you all afternoon. Why didn’t you answer?”

  “My phone ran out of juice and I forgot to take the charger to the auction with us. What’s going on?”

  He knew it had to be something dramatic for her to bring Addie all this way on an unscheduled midweek visit.

  Cindy frowned. “My mother had a stroke early this morning and she’s in the hospital in Idaho Falls.”

  “Oh, no! I hadn’t heard. I’m so sorry.”

  He had tried very hard to earn the approval of his in-laws but the president of the Pine Gulch bank and his wife had been very slow to warm up to him. He didn’t know if they had disliked him because Cindy had been pregnant when they married or because they didn’t think a cattle rancher with cow manure on his boots was good enough for their precious only child.

  They had reached a peace accord of sorts after Addie came along. Still, he almost thought his and Cindy’s divorce had been a relief to them—and he had no doubt they had been thrilled at her second marriage to an eminently successful oral surgeon in Boise.

  “The doctors say it appears to be a mini stroke. They suspect it’s not the first one so they want to keep her for observation for a few days. My dad said I didn’t have to come down but it seemed like the right thing to do,” Cindy said. “Considering I was coming this way anyway, I didn’t think you would mind having extra visitation with Addie, especially since she won’t be here over the holidays.”

  He was aware of a familiar pang in his chest, probably no different from what most part-time divorced fathers felt at not being able to live with their children all the time. Holidays were the worst.

  “Sure. Extra time is always great.”

  Cindy turned to Faith with that hard look she always wore when she saw the two of them together. His ex-wife had never said anything but he suspected she had long guessed the feelings he had tried to bury after Faith and Travis got married.

  “We’re interrupting,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

  “Not at all,” Faith assured her. “Please don’t be sorry. I’m the one who’s sorry about your mother.”

  “Thanks,” Cindy said, her voice cool. “We spent an hour at the hospital before we came out here and she seems in good spirits. Doctors just want to keep her for observation to see if they can figure out what’s going on. Dad is kind of a mess right now, which is why I thought it would be a good idea for me to stay with him, at least for the first few days.”

  “That sounds like a good idea.”

  “Thanks for taking Addie. Sorry to drop her off without calling first. I did try.”

  “It’s no problem at all. I’m thrilled to have her.”

  The sad truth was, they got along and seemed to parent together better now that they were divorced than during the difficult five years of their marriage, though things still weren’t perfect.

  “I packed enough for a week. To be honest, I don’t know what I grabbed, since I was kind of a mess this morning. Keith was worried about me driving alone but he had three surgeries scheduled today and couldn’t come with me. His patients needed him.”

  “He’s a busy man,” Chase said. What else could he say? It would have been terribly hypocritical to lambast another man in the husband department when Chase had been so very lousy at it.

  “I should get back to the hospital. Thanks, Chase. You’re a lifesaver.”

  “No problem.”

  “I’m so sorry about your mother,” Faith said.

  “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

  Cindy opened the hatchback of the SUV and pulled out Addie’s familiar pink suitcase. He hated the tangible reminder that his daughter had to live out of a suitcase half her life.

  After setting the suitcase on the sidewalk, Cindy went through her usual drawn-out farewell routine with Addie that ended in a big hug and a sloppy kiss, then climbed into her SUV and drove away.

  “My feet are cold,” Addie announced calmly, apparently not fazed at all to watch her mother leave, despite the requisite drama. “I’m going to take my suitcase to my room and change my clothes.”

  She headed to the house without waiting for him to answer, leaving him alone with Faith.

  “That was a curveball I wasn’t expecting this afternoon,”

  “Strokes can be scary,” Faith said. “It sounds like Carol’s was a mild one, though, which I’m sure is a relief to everyone. At least you’ll get to spend a little extra time with Addie.”

  “True. Always a bonus.”

  He had plenty of regrets about his life but his wise, funny, kind daughter was the one amazing thing his lousy marriage had produced.

  “I know this was a busy week for you,” Faith said. “If you need help with her, she’s welcome to spend time at the Star N. Louisa would be completely thrilled.”

  He had appointments all week with suppliers, the vet and his accountant, but he could take her with him. She was a remarkably adaptable child.

  “The only time I might need help is Friday night. Think Aunt Mary would mind if she stayed at your place with Lou and Barrett while we’re at the party?”

  Her forehead briefly furrowed in confusion. “Oh. I almost forgot about that. Look, the situation has changed. If you’d rather stay home with Addie, I completely understand. I can tag along with Wade and Caroline Dalton or Justin and Ashley Hartford. Or, again, I can always just skip it.”

  Was she looking for excuses not to go with him? He didn’t want to believe that. “I asked you out. I want to go, as long as Mary doesn’t mind one more at your place.”

  “Addie’s never any trouble. I’m sure Mary will be fine with it. I’ll talk to her,” she promised. “If she can’t do it, I’m sure all the kids could hang out with Hope or Celeste for the evening.”

  Her sisters and their husbands lived close to the Star N and often helped with Barrett and Louisa, just as Faith helped out with their respective children.

  “I’ll be in touch later in the week to work out the details.”

  “Sounds good.” She glanced at her watch. “I really do need to go. Thanks again for your help with the horse.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  As she climbed into the Star N king-cab pickup, he was struck by how small and delicate she looked compared to the big truck.

  Physically, she might be slight—barely five-four and slender—but she was tough as nails. Over the last two and a half years, she had worked tirelessly to drag the ranch from the brink. He had tried to take some of the burden from her but there was only so much she would let him do.

  He stepped forward so she couldn’t close the door yet.

  “One last thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  Heart pounding, he leaned in to face her. He wanted her to see his expression. He
wanted no ambiguity about his intentions.

  “You need to be clear on one thing before Friday. I said it earlier but in all the confusion with Addie showing up, I’m not sure it registered completely. As far as I’m concerned, this is a date.”

  “Sure. We’re going together. What else would it be?”

  “I mean a date-date. I want to go out with you where we’re not only good friends hanging out on a Friday night or two neighboring ranchers carpooling to the same event. I want you to be my date, with everything that goes along with that.”

  There. She couldn’t mistake that.

  He saw a host of emotions quickly cross her features—shock, uncertainty and a wild flare of panic. “Chase, I—”

  He could see she wasn’t even going to give him a chance. She was ready to throw up barriers to the idea before he even had a chance. Frustration coiled through him, sharp as barbed wire fencing.

  “It’s been two and a half years since Travis died.”

  Her hands clamped tight onto the steering wheel as if it were a bull rider’s strap and she had to hang on or she would fall off and be trampled. “Yes. I believe I’m fully aware of that.”

  “You’re going to have to enter the dating scene at some point. You’ve already got cowboys clamoring to ask you out. McKinley is just the first one to step up, but he won’t be the last. Why not ease into it by going out with somebody you already know?”

  “You.”

  “Why not?”

  Instead of answering, she turned the tables on him. “You and Cindy have been divorced for years. Why are you suddenly interested in dating again?”

  “Maybe I’m tired of being alone.” That, at least, was the truth, just not the whole truth.

  “So this would be like a...trial run for both of us? A way to dip our toes into the water without jumping in headfirst?”

  No. He had jumped in a long, long time ago and had just been treading water, waiting for her.

  He couldn’t tell her that. Not yet.